{"title":"Memorial Day Sale!","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"eat-my-ass-chocolate-buttholes-a-valentines-treat","title":"Eat Ass Chocolate Buttholes - A Sweet Treat","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat Ass Chocolate Buttholes – A Sweet Treat\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause sometimes the best way to say “I love you” is with a box of edible asses.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMove over heart-shaped chocolates, there’s a new Valentine’s Day MVP in town – \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat Ass Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. These handcrafted milk chocolate masterpieces are molded into the most realistic little starfish you’ve ever seen. They’re sweet, cheeky, and guaranteed to get the kind of reaction no boring candy box could ever pull off.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou don’t just give these as a gift. You make a statement. That statement? “Here’s some sweet ass, literally.” And the best part – it ships in a discreet box, 100 percent anonymous, so your friend, lover, or mortal enemy won’t know whether to laugh, blush, or eat them immediately.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo quit being predictable. Forget roses, forget cards. Click \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and send someone the gift of chocolate buttholes today.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Absolutely Need to Gift Chocolate Assholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the funniest edible gift ever\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – The shock factor alone is worth the price.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s actually delicious\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Rich, creamy milk chocolate that melts in your mouth like… well, you get the idea.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s perfect for every dirty-minded occasion\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Valentine’s Day, birthdays, bachelorette parties, or “just because.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt ships anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – You can send a box of sweet assholes and take the secret to your grave.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePicture it: Valentine’s Day morning. They open a discreet little box. Inside? Not truffles. Not caramel clusters. Nope – a dozen perfect little \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring up at them like a naughty surprise from Cupid himself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey laugh. They gasp. They grab their phone to send a pic to their friends. And then, after the laughter dies down, they take a bite… and realize these are actually \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eamazing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Rich, velvety chocolate that melts over their tongue in the most sinful way possible.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd just like that, you’ve taken gift-giving from “meh” to “memorable” in 0.5 seconds.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Aren’t Afraid to Eat Ass\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Absolute Valentines Day hit! Boyfriend got a good laugh and ate some good chocolate starfish 🤣”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “These were great! It was a gift to a friend of mine – who has received some of your other items as well! – and she loved it. Also said the chocolate was excellent. Thanks for being awesome!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Eat my ass chocolate buttholes, where do I even start? Is a sweet treat indeed. These decadent chocolate buttholes effortlessly melt all over your mouth and tongue in the creamiest of ways as you devour them. Very little in life will satisfy you as much as these butt holes can. Do yourself a favor and gift that special man in your life some of these!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted milk chocolate buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made with creamy, high-quality ingredients\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRealistic detail\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that makes them hilariously lifelike\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sweet, rich, melt-in-your-mouth goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Discreet box with no branding or receipts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Valentine’s Day gift, birthday gag, anonymous prank, bachelor or bachelorette party, edible joke, funny surprise for friends or partners\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Works Every Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause nobody forgets the moment they’re handed a box of edible assholes. It’s the perfect mix of dirty humor and actual gourmet candy. It’s a conversation starter, a photo-worthy moment, and a delicious snack all rolled into one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven the people who act fake-offended will try one. And when they do, they’ll find out these aren’t just a gag – they’re seriously good chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend Sweet Ass Today\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, there’s someone in your life who could use a laugh, a shock, and maybe a mouthful of milk chocolate butthole. You know exactly who they are.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Send \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat Ass Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Make them smile, make them blush, and give them the sweetest ass they’ve ever had.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DicksByMail","offers":[{"title":"One Box \/ Standard","offer_id":41815492427860,"sku":"EMA","price":17.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One Box \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":41815492460628,"sku":"EMA,LIVEFASTSLEEVE","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double (10% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846793300,"sku":"EMA-2","price":31.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double (10% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879846826068,"sku":"EMA-2,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-2","price":32.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple (20% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846858836,"sku":"EMA-3","price":41.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple (20% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879846891604,"sku":"EMA-3,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-3","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five (25% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846924372,"sku":"EMA-5","price":65.59,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five (25% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879846957140,"sku":"EMA-5,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-5","price":67.46,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten (30% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846989908,"sku":"EMA-10","price":122.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten (30% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879847022676,"sku":"EMA-10,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-10","price":125.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-ass-chocolate-i-thought-you-could-use-some-dick-gummies-6008730.jpg?v=1755878736"},{"product_id":"eat-a-d-the-chocolate-d","title":"Eat a D - The Chocolate D","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"208\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D: Because Sometimes Words Aren’t Enough\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"210\" data-end=\"397\"\u003eSome people deserve a thank you. Others deserve a hug. But then there are the \u003cem data-start=\"288\" data-end=\"301\"\u003especial few\u003c\/em\u003e who deserve exactly one thing - a big, thick, 5.5 inch chocolate dick right in their mailbox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"399\" data-end=\"648\"\u003eMeet \u003cstrong data-start=\"404\" data-end=\"433\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D\u003c\/strong\u003e. It’s a solid hunk of 6 to 8 ounces of organic chocolate molded into the most unapologetically hilarious shape on the planet. This isn’t some half-assed “haha” gift. This is the gag gift equivalent of a mic drop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"650\" data-end=\"772\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to tell someone to “eat a dick” but also give them dessert, congratulations - your search is over.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is a perfect gift for every occasion! Birthday? Have some D. Christmas? Have Some D! April Fools? Have Some D. Valentines? DEFINITELY have some D. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"863\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"861\"\u003eOrder now, ship it anonymously, and watch the awkward-yet-hilarious fallout unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"868\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"870\" data-end=\"910\"\u003eWhy This Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"1186\"\u003eBecause it’s chocolate. And it’s a dick. There’s no way to prepare for this combination. Whether you send it as an anonymous prank, a breakup finale, or a birthday surprise, one thing is certain - they will \u003cem data-start=\"1119\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003enever\u003c\/em\u003e forget the day they got an unsolicited package like this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1366\"\u003eThis isn’t some cheap hollow candy you can crush with a finger. Nope. This thing is a solid brick of cocoa-based comedy, perfectly designed to be both delicious and disturbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003eIt’s the rare gift that’s equal parts insult and snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1427\" data-end=\"1430\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1432\" data-end=\"1460\"\u003eReal Chaos, Real People\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1464\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e“This was the best gag gift ever !!! My poor brother-in-law called two of his friends in search of who sent it to him and he sadly had to ask if they sent him a big chocolate duck ! Then he finally called us after being shamed hahaha. It was too funny. He will never forget it and neither will we.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1766\" data-end=\"1769\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1771\" data-end=\"1788\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1790\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1790\" data-end=\"1848\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1792\" data-end=\"1848\"\u003eAnonymous pranks that don’t end in small claims court.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1849\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1851\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts that instantly steal the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1904\" data-end=\"1963\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1963\"\u003eBachelorette party jokes that get everyone taking pics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1964\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1966\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003eBreakup revenge that leaves them confused and sugared up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2026\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003eNeighbor feuds that taste better than they end.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2079\" data-end=\"2082\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2120\"\u003eHow It Goes Down (Pun Intended)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2122\" data-end=\"2339\"\u003eYou pick your preferred chocolate dick variant - milk, dark, whatever flavor you think fits their personality best. We package it discreetly, no branding, no hints. It arrives at their door looking totally innocent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2341\" data-end=\"2505\"\u003eThey open it. They freeze. They squint. Then they realize exactly what’s in front of them - and if you’re lucky, they start laughing instead of calling their mom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2507\" data-end=\"2690\"\u003eOf course, the real magic happens when they finally decide, “Screw it, I’m eating it.” Every bite is a reminder that someone out there thought about them… in this very specific way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2692\" data-end=\"2695\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2697\" data-end=\"2714\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003eOne 5.5 inch, 6 to 8 ounce solid chocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e made with organic ingredients.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2879\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2805\" data-end=\"2879\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2805\" data-end=\"2827\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can enjoy the chaos without a paper trail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2880\" data-end=\"2955\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2955\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2908\"\u003eChoice of dick variant\u003c\/strong\u003e - because personalization matters in pranks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2958\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2958\" data-end=\"2994\"\u003eA story they’ll retell for years\u003c\/strong\u003e whether they want to or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3030\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3032\" data-end=\"3078\"\u003eThe 3-Step Plan to Deliver Instant Comedy\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3106\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart”\u003c\/strong\u003e - you know you want to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3133\" data-end=\"3198\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3136\" data-end=\"3198\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3136\" data-end=\"3164\"\u003ePick your chocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e - match the flavor to the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3199\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3202\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3202\" data-end=\"3225\"\u003eShip it anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - sit back, relax, and prepare for confused text messages.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3288\" data-end=\"3291\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3293\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3546\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3319\" data-end=\"3348\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just a gift. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime “WTF” moment delivered right to their door. It’s crude, it’s sweet, and it’s the only way to tell someone to shove it \u003cem data-start=\"3512\" data-end=\"3517\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e enjoy it at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3548\" data-end=\"3629\"\u003eSo stop overthinking it. \u003cstrong data-start=\"3573\" data-end=\"3590\"\u003eOrder one now\u003c\/strong\u003e and let the chocolate speak for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the D, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Classics","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ One","offer_id":41493197258836,"sku":"CHOCODTT","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533147732,"sku":"CHOCODTT2","price":41.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533180500,"sku":"CHOCODTT3","price":58.62,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533213268,"sku":"CHOCODTT5","price":91.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533246036,"sku":"CHOCODTT10","price":172.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Prank \/ One","offer_id":43841363968084,"sku":"FAKEWATCHCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Prank \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":43841364000852,"sku":"FAKEWATCHCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Prank \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":43841364033620,"sku":"FAKEWATCHCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Prank \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":43841364066388,"sku":"FAKEWATCHCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Prank \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":43841364099156,"sku":"FAKEWATCHCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Prank \/ One","offer_id":43709252337748,"sku":"IPHONECHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Prank \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":43709252370516,"sku":"IPHONECHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Prank \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":43709252403284,"sku":"IPHONECHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Prank \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":43709252436052,"sku":"IPHONECHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Prank \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":43709252468820,"sku":"IPHONECHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ One","offer_id":44337949212756,"sku":"FABCHOCOD","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949245524,"sku":"FABCHOCOD2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949278292,"sku":"FABCHOCOD3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949311060,"sku":"FABCHOCOD5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949343828,"sku":"FABCHOCOD10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ One","offer_id":42632541896788,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541929556,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541962324,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541995092,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632542027860,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ One","offer_id":44530101256276,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44530101289044,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44530101321812,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44530101354580,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! 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(vs single box)","offer_id":42632541864020,"sku":"CONGRATSCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box \/ One","offer_id":41902604091476,"sku":"NUTSCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533409876,"sku":"NUTSCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533442644,"sku":"NUTSCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533475412,"sku":"NUTSCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! 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(vs single box)","offer_id":42632533377108,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ One","offer_id":42632541569108,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541601876,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541634644,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541667412,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541700180,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-a-dick-the-chocolate-dick-4360501.jpg?v=1761752167"},{"product_id":"pride-bag-of-gummy-dicks","title":"Pride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"218\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks - Sweet, Sassy, and Deliciously Offensive\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"220\" data-end=\"556\"\u003eLet’s be honest - there’s no polite way to hand someone a bag of gummy dicks. And that’s the beauty of it. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"331\" data-end=\"367\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is loud, proud, fruity as hell, and unapologetically inappropriate. It’s the perfect mix of sweet and sassy, guaranteed to make someone laugh so hard they choke on a chewy rainbow shaft.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"558\" data-end=\"652\"\u003eIt’s candy with a cause - to spread love, laughter, and maybe a little bit of petty payback.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"654\" data-end=\"956\"\u003eYou want to know why this is better than sending boring chocolates or flowers? Because anybody can do that. But sending a colorful bag of penis-shaped gummies? That’s not just a gift, that’s a \u003cem data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"858\"\u003estatement\u003c\/em\u003e. It says, “I love you enough to send you a bag of dicks… and I hope you enjoy every last bite.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003eOrder now, send anonymously, and watch as your friends try to figure out who sent them this chewy rainbow of joy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1079\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1153\"\u003eWhy You’ll Love Sending (or Receiving) This Bag of Rainbow Dicks\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eBecause it’s fun. Because it’s ridiculous. Because candy tastes better when it’s shaped like something inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1579\"\u003eThe Pride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks isn’t just a gag - it’s actually good candy. Each bag comes with 10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy penises that are soft, chewy, and bursting with flavor. Whether you send it as a Pride Month gift, a party favor, or a random Tuesday pick-me-up, it lands every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1581\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003eAnd yes - it ships \u003cstrong data-start=\"1600\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e. No awkward “return address” giving you away. Just you, cackling from the shadows like the benevolent prankster you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1752\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1757\" data-end=\"1783\"\u003eWhat’s Inside the Bag\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1785\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1785\" data-end=\"1870\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1870\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1829\"\u003e10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - delicious and proudly inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1871\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1873\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1873\" data-end=\"1899\"\u003ePride-themed packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e - bright, bold, and impossible to ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1944\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"1966\"\u003eShips discreetly\u003c\/strong\u003e - so you can send to anyone without spoiling the surprise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2030\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2030\" data-end=\"2052\"\u003eReal candy quality\u003c\/strong\u003e - these aren’t chalky dollar-store gummies, they’re legit tasty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2124\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2126\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003eWhat Customers Are Saying\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2160\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e“I sent to my friend as a joke and he thought it was hilarious!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2279\"\u003eShort, sweet, and exactly what we were going for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2281\" data-end=\"2284\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2286\" data-end=\"2303\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2392\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2392\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003ePride Month celebrations\u003c\/strong\u003e - because nothing says “love wins” like rainbow dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2393\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2395\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2395\" data-end=\"2415\"\u003eLGBTQ+ gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e - sweet, silly, and a little scandalous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2459\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2461\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2461\" data-end=\"2483\"\u003eBirthday surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e - imagine opening a gift bag and seeing these staring back at you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2553\" data-end=\"2608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2582\"\u003eAnonymous edible pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e - leave them wondering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2609\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2627\"\u003eParty favors\u003c\/strong\u003e - every guest gets a mouthful of fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2668\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2686\"\u003eJust because\u003c\/strong\u003e - do you even need a reason?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2719\" data-end=\"2722\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2724\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eThe Story You’ll Be Dying to Tell\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2764\" data-end=\"2976\"\u003eHere’s how it goes: Your friend gets a package. They’re intrigued. They open it and pull out a Pride-themed bag. They look inside… and instantly realize they’re holding 10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy penises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2978\" data-end=\"3161\"\u003eThey laugh. They blush. They maybe even pop one in their mouth right there. And then they \u003cem data-start=\"3068\" data-end=\"3074\"\u003ehave\u003c\/em\u003e to tell someone about it, because this is not the kind of gift you keep to yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3163\" data-end=\"3166\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3168\" data-end=\"3204\"\u003eHow to Make This Gift Legendary\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3206\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3206\" data-end=\"3250\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3250\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3224\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e - stop overthinking it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3251\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3254\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3254\" data-end=\"3277\"\u003ePick your recipient\u003c\/strong\u003e - friend, partner, party host, or random cousin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3329\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3352\"\u003eShip anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - plausible deniability is a beautiful thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3401\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3404\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3404\" data-end=\"3427\"\u003eEnjoy the aftermath\u003c\/strong\u003e - because you know this will become a group chat story.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3487\" data-end=\"3490\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3492\" data-end=\"3547\"\u003eFinal Take: This is How You Spread Joy (and Dicks)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3549\" data-end=\"3744\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3553\" data-end=\"3589\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is the perfect combination of sweet, rude, and ridiculously fun. It’s a candy gift that celebrates Pride, makes people laugh, and actually tastes great.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3746\" data-end=\"3911\"\u003eWhether you’re sending it as a show of love, as a laugh-out-loud party favor, or just to make someone’s day a little more colorful (and awkward), this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3913\" data-end=\"4006\"\u003e🌈 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3916\" data-end=\"3934\"\u003eGrab a bag now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send someone a chewy, fruity, rainbow shaft they’ll never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3913\" data-end=\"4006\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41791354273876,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41791354306644,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41791354339412,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41791354372180,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41791354404948,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41791354437716,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-ds-something-i-know-youll-love-8872955.png?v=1779249067"},{"product_id":"c-ck-shot-new-bomb-prank","title":"Cock Shot \"Snake\" in a Can Prank","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThis is not your grandparents' snake in a can. This snake comes in a tricky fake wafer cookie can, and then shoots out a spring loaded... \"snake\". \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eReloadable to keep the joke going and mess with anyone who tries to steal your cookies \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAdd a custom message, pack it in a prank box, or give it to someone at your next dinner party.  These pranks are always great and with the funny little pecker prank, you know you got the goods. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pranks Anonymous","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42843564933204,"sku":"CSHOT","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/cockshot-new-bomb-prank-8592929.png?v=1768974480"}],"url":"https:\/\/dicksbymail.com\/collections\/memorial-day-sale.oembed","provider":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}