{"title":"More Anonymous Pranks","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"gift-card","title":"Dicksbymail Gift Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eShopping for someone else but not sure what to give them? Give them the gift of choice with a Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks Gift Card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift cards are delivered by email and contain instructions to redeem them at checkout. Our gift cards have no additional processing fees.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"$10.00","offer_id":3602554817,"sku":"","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$25.00","offer_id":3602554881,"sku":"","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$50.00","offer_id":3602554945,"sku":"","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$100.00","offer_id":3602555009,"sku":"","price":100.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/dicksbymail-gift-card-4639849.png?v=1755878861"},{"product_id":"gummy-boobs-new-product","title":"Bag of Tits!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"122\" data-end=\"186\"\u003eBag of Tits – Because Sometimes a Card Just Won’t Cut It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"188\" data-end=\"438\"\u003eListen, life’s too short for boring gifts. You could send a boring “Happy Birthday” text, or you could send a sealed bag of \u003cstrong data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"340\"\u003esweet, chewy, gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e with a message like “Suck a Bag of Tits” or “Calm Your Tits.” Guess which one they’ll remember?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"475\"\u003eSpoiler alert: It’s not the text.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"477\" data-end=\"720\"\u003eThese aren’t just any gummy candies - these are perfectly shaped, squishy, boob-shaped confections that say exactly what you’re thinking without you having to pick up the phone. Funny? Yes. Inappropriate? Absolutely. Delicious? Oh, hell yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"722\" data-end=\"824\"\u003eSo stop playing it safe. \u003cstrong data-start=\"747\" data-end=\"822\"\u003eClick Add to Cart, send them a bag of tits, and watch the chaos unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"829\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"871\"\u003eWhy This Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"873\" data-end=\"986\"\u003eWe live in a world of Amazon wish lists and “thanks for the gift card” texts. Predictable. Boring. Forgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003eNow picture this:\u003cbr data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1008\"\u003eThey open a mysterious, anonymous package. They see the words “You’re the Tits.” Inside? An entire bag of gummy boobs, bouncing around in their sweet little candy perfection. Maybe you went full savage and added the glitter option - now they’re shaking glitter out of their hair while chewing a boob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1312\" data-end=\"1339\"\u003eThis is a gift that says:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e“I care about you… but I’m also here to make your day weird.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003e“You matter to me… just not enough to send a Hallmark card.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e“I’m a good friend, but also a menace to society.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1530\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1532\" data-end=\"1597\"\u003eThe Gift That Keeps on Giving (And Sticking to Their Carpet)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1599\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003eIt’s not just about the candy. It’s about the \u003cem data-start=\"1645\" data-end=\"1653\"\u003emoment\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1658\" data-end=\"1917\"\u003eYour buddy opens the bag during a livestream and loses it on camera.\u003cbr data-start=\"1726\" data-end=\"1729\"\u003eYour friend’s birthday party goes from PG to “what the hell is wrong with you?” in two seconds flat.\u003cbr data-start=\"1829\" data-end=\"1832\"\u003eYour glitter-add-on choice leaves their kitchen looking like a strip club exploded.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1919\" data-end=\"1970\"\u003eThese are not just gummy tits. They are memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1972\" data-end=\"1975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1977\" data-end=\"2003\"\u003eReal Customer Stories\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2005\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2007\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e“Sent it to a guy I knew would appreciate them. On a live stream, he was happier than a kid on Christmas morning.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2124\"\u003e“Love it - had lots of laughs. I put the glitter option on the bag of tits and it was everywhere! I’ll be ordering again soon for a friend’s b-day.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2274\" data-end=\"2277\"\u003e“Got some tits for my daughter’s birthday and they were a big hit!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2350\" data-end=\"2353\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2355\" data-end=\"2386\"\u003eWhat You’re Really Sending\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2474\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003eA sealed bag of gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e – soft, fruity, and shaped for maximum awkwardness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2475\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2477\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2477\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003eStock message of your choice\u003c\/strong\u003e – “You’re the Tits,” “Suck a Bag of Tits,” “Enjoy Your Boobies,” “Calm Your Tits.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2624\"\u003eOptional glitter add-on\u003c\/strong\u003e – because why stop at awkward when you can make it messy?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2685\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2687\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2687\" data-end=\"2709\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e – they’ll never know it was you… unless you crack and tell them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2778\" data-end=\"2781\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2783\" data-end=\"2800\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"2866\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2866\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2826\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e – way better than another candle set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2867\" data-end=\"2951\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2951\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2902\"\u003eBachelor\/Bachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e – something to snack on between bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2952\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"2974\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e – strike and vanish like a true candy assassin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003eJust because\u003c\/strong\u003e – sometimes you just gotta send someone a bag of tits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3102\" data-end=\"3105\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3107\" data-end=\"3130\"\u003eHow to Pull It Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3132\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3132\" data-end=\"3155\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3135\" data-end=\"3155\"\u003ePick your message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3156\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3159\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003eDecide if you want to add glitter for maximum destruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3220\" data-end=\"3245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3223\" data-end=\"3245\"\u003eShip it anonymously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3246\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3249\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eWait for the text, the call, or the public Instagram meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3318\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3320\" data-end=\"3338\"\u003eThe Aftermath\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3340\" data-end=\"3415\"\u003eThis isn’t the type of gift that gets a polite “thanks.” Nope. This gets:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3418\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003eA shocked laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3437\" data-end=\"3472\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3439\" data-end=\"3472\"\u003eA room full of confused people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3473\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3475\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003eA lifelong story where your name is mentioned right before “absolute legend.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3556\" data-end=\"3660\"\u003eBecause anyone can send chocolates. But only the brave (and slightly unhinged) send \u003cstrong data-start=\"3640\" data-end=\"3657\"\u003ea bag of tits\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3662\" data-end=\"3665\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3667\" data-end=\"3902\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3670\" data-end=\"3696\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now.\u003c\/strong\u003e Send a sweet, squishy, boob-shaped gift that’s part candy, part chaos, and 100% unforgettable. They’ll eat it, they’ll laugh, and if you’re lucky, they’ll choke on a gummy nipple while cursing your name.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3667\" data-end=\"3902\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ ----","offer_id":17605713601,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ ----","offer_id":20804597249,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Enjoy Your Boobies \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":20804776833,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ ----","offer_id":36595996237,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325203981,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325211917,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Enjoy Your Boobies \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325216589,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325224077,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192151957588,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192153595988,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192156807252,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/bag-of-tits-3930265.jpg?v=1755879320"},{"product_id":"dick-tit-combo","title":"DICKS \u0026 TITS COMBO PACK!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"68\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDICKS \u0026amp; TITS COMBO PACK!\u003c\/strong\u003e - The Prank Gift That Hits Both Fronts\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"70\" data-end=\"356\"\u003eWhy choose between \u003cstrong data-start=\"89\" data-end=\"98\"\u003edicks\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"110\"\u003etits\u003c\/strong\u003e when you can send both in one glorious, inappropriate, gut-busting package? The \u003cstrong data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"218\"\u003eDICKS \u0026amp; TITS COMBO PACK\u003c\/strong\u003e is here to double the laughs, double the awkwardness, and double the “WTF” faces. It’s the \u003cem data-start=\"310\" data-end=\"354\"\u003eprank gift for people who don’t do subtle.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"358\" data-end=\"670\"\u003eThis pack comes loaded with a bag of \u003cstrong data-start=\"395\" data-end=\"410\"\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e and a bag of \u003cstrong data-start=\"424\" data-end=\"438\"\u003egummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e, each with its own loud, unapologetic message card: \u003cem data-start=\"491\" data-end=\"513\"\u003e“Eat a Bag of Dicks”\u003c\/em\u003e and \u003cem data-start=\"518\" data-end=\"541\"\u003e“Suck a Bag of Tits.”\u003c\/em\u003e And yes, they’re delicious. And yes, they’re delivered 100% anonymously so you can cause maximum chaos without getting caught.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"672\" data-end=\"791\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"672\" data-end=\"697\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e if you’re ready to drop the funniest, most inappropriate package someone will ever receive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"793\" data-end=\"796\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"798\" data-end=\"842\"\u003eWhy This Combo Pack is a God-Tier Prank\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"844\" data-end=\"1106\"\u003eBecause sending just dicks or just tits is fine… but sending both? That’s a power move. This isn’t just an edible gag gift, it’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003ecomplete emotional rollercoaster in a box\u003c\/strong\u003e. First, the laughter. Then, the disbelief. Then, the awkward candy tasting session.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1108\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eAnd since it ships anonymously, they’ll never know for sure it was you. Which means you get to sit back, relax, and wait for the confused texts to start rolling in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1334\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1334\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003eTwo hilarious edible gifts in one\u003c\/strong\u003e - dicks AND tits\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1335\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1337\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1337\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003eBold message cards\u003c\/strong\u003e that leave no room for interpretation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1400\" data-end=\"1482\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1482\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003eGourmet gummy candy\u003c\/strong\u003e that’s actually good (because bad candy is just cruel)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1483\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1485\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1485\" data-end=\"1522\"\u003eOptional glitter or dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e to crank up the chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1547\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1549\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1549\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003e100% anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e for ultimate prank protection\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1610\" data-end=\"1613\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1615\" data-end=\"1645\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1647\" data-end=\"1856\"\u003eImagine this: they open the package, see a bold card telling them to \u003cem data-start=\"1716\" data-end=\"1736\"\u003eeat a bag of dicks\u003c\/em\u003e and \u003cem data-start=\"1741\" data-end=\"1761\"\u003esuck a bag of tits\u003c\/em\u003e, and immediately wonder who in their life is deranged enough to send this. (Hint: it’s you.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1858\" data-end=\"2029\"\u003eThen they see the gummies. Maybe they laugh and start passing them around. Maybe they blush and stash them in the pantry for “private snacking.” Either way, \u003cstrong data-start=\"2015\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003eyou win.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2031\" data-end=\"2034\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2036\" data-end=\"2064\"\u003eReal Customer Reactions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2066\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2066\" data-end=\"2243\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2068\" data-end=\"2243\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2068\" data-end=\"2241\"\u003e“This is one of my favorite items to send. I have not even been present to see their faces but I can only imagine… How can you not want to receive a bag of dicks or tits?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2244\" data-end=\"2304\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2304\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003e“I sent this to my Work Best Friend :) She loved it!!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2423\"\u003e“I was thrilled to send this to someone, anonymously! Just wished I could have seen the expression on their face!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2427\" data-end=\"2430\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2432\" data-end=\"2448\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2450\" data-end=\"2744\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2450\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2472\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e that will haunt them in the best way\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2512\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2536\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e for friends who can take a joke\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2571\" data-end=\"2615\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2573\" data-end=\"2615\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2573\" data-end=\"2590\"\u003eBreakup jokes\u003c\/strong\u003e (petty but satisfying)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2616\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2618\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2618\" data-end=\"2639\"\u003eRevenge surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e that won’t get you arrested\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2744\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2744\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2695\"\u003eAdult novelty gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e for bachelorette parties or wild get-togethers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2746\" data-end=\"2749\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2751\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003eWhat’s Inside\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2771\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2771\" data-end=\"2830\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2773\" data-end=\"2830\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2773\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003e1 bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e with \u003cem data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2823\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks\u003c\/em\u003e card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2831\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2833\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2833\" data-end=\"2856\"\u003e1 bag of gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e with \u003cem data-start=\"2862\" data-end=\"2882\"\u003eSuck a Bag of Tits\u003c\/em\u003e card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2890\" data-end=\"2953\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2953\"\u003eOptional \u003cstrong data-start=\"2901\" data-end=\"2929\"\u003eglitter or dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e to up the mess factor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"2978\"\u003eDiscreet packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e so it’s a complete surprise\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3010\" data-end=\"3013\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3015\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3045\" data-end=\"3323\"\u003eBecause there’s something inherently funny about edible genitals. It’s juvenile, it’s shocking, it’s oddly wholesome once they start eating the candy. The combo pack doesn’t just make them laugh - it makes them wonder what kind of delightful lunatic they have in their circle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3325\" data-end=\"3411\"\u003eAnd let’s be honest - sending this says, \u003cem data-start=\"3366\" data-end=\"3409\"\u003e“I care enough to offend you creatively.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3413\" data-end=\"3416\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3418\" data-end=\"3434\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3436\" data-end=\"3666\"\u003eIf you’re looking for the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3462\" data-end=\"3522\"\u003eperfect blend of offensive, delicious, and unforgettable\u003c\/strong\u003e, the DICKS \u0026amp; TITS COMBO PACK is your move. It’s the kind of prank gift that gets talked about for years, probably at every holiday gathering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3668\" data-end=\"3771\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3668\" data-end=\"3693\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and become the legend who sent someone both dicks AND tits in the same box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3668\" data-end=\"3771\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":37723888717,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Glitter","offer_id":19770009665,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti","offer_id":37723816141,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/dicks-tits-combo-pack-2285138.jpg?v=1755879320"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-card","title":"Happy Birthday Card!","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] @[37rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] @[72rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:32rem] @[34rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @[64rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"a7d7ada7-b0c6-406f-a9b1-ecd03225de2f\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-5\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[3px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"98\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy Birthday Card! - The Gift That Says “I’m Thinking of You… In the Pettiest Way Possible”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"100\" data-end=\"312\"\u003eSometimes a generic “Happy Birthday” just won’t cut it. Sometimes you want a card that says, \u003cem data-start=\"193\" data-end=\"310\"\u003e“I remembered your birthday, but I also remembered that time you stole my fries in 2012 and I’m still not over it.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"314\" data-end=\"650\"\u003eEnter the \u003cstrong data-start=\"324\" data-end=\"348\"\u003eHappy Birthday Card!\u003c\/strong\u003e from DicksByMail. On the surface, it’s a normal, innocent birthday greeting. But the second they open it - whether you go with a sweet message or load it up with optional prank add-ons like \u003cstrong data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"556\"\u003edick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e or a \u003cstrong data-start=\"562\" data-end=\"578\"\u003ebag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - their special day just took a hard left turn into pure prank glory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"652\" data-end=\"869\"\u003eIt’s printed on \u003cstrong data-start=\"668\" data-end=\"708\"\u003epremium 14 pt double-sided cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e, folds neatly at \u003cstrong data-start=\"726\" data-end=\"747\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inches\u003c\/strong\u003e, and ships \u003cstrong data-start=\"759\" data-end=\"786\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e. Which means you get all the laughs and none of the awkward follow-up questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"993\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"892\"\u003eClick Add to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e right now and give the kind of birthday greeting they’ll never forget… and probably never forgive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"995\" data-end=\"998\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1055\"\u003eWhy This Birthday Card Beats Any Hallmark Nonsense\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1057\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003eSure, you could send a regular card. One with a puppy on it or some sappy poem about “another trip around the sun.” But where’s the fun in that?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1205\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003eThis card is for the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1226\" data-end=\"1255\"\u003ebold, unapologetic friend\u003c\/strong\u003e who knows that humor is the best gift… especially when it’s a little bit inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1347\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1347\" data-end=\"1423\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1349\" data-end=\"1423\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1349\" data-end=\"1370\"\u003ePremium cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e - feels classy enough to lure them into opening it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1424\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1426\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1426\" data-end=\"1451\"\u003ePerfect prank pairing\u003c\/strong\u003e - add dick confetti or a bag of gummy dicks for maximum chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1516\" data-end=\"1593\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1518\" data-end=\"1593\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1518\" data-end=\"1540\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - your secret is safe until you decide to spill it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1594\" data-end=\"1669\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1596\" data-end=\"1669\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1596\" data-end=\"1618\"\u003eCompact but deadly\u003c\/strong\u003e - the perfect size to hide the big reveal inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1670\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1672\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1672\" data-end=\"1699\"\u003eOptional custom message\u003c\/strong\u003e - heartfelt, hilarious, or downright savage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1747\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1752\" data-end=\"1782\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1784\" data-end=\"1933\"\u003ePicture it. Your buddy’s having a chill birthday. They open the mail, see a regular-sized birthday card, and smile - \u003cem data-start=\"1901\" data-end=\"1931\"\u003e“Aw, someone thought of me.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1935\" data-end=\"1950\"\u003eThey open it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1952\" data-end=\"2225\"\u003eIf you went with the plain version, they’re still caught off guard by the cheeky tone. But if you went all-in with the add-ons? Suddenly, their living room floor is covered in tiny paper dicks, or they’re staring at a literal \u003cstrong data-start=\"2178\" data-end=\"2194\"\u003ebag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e wondering how they got here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2227\" data-end=\"2406\"\u003eThey laugh, they curse, they maybe even take a photo for the group chat. And you? You’re just sitting there, innocent as can be, waiting for the text: \u003cem data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2404\"\u003e“It was you, wasn’t it?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2408\" data-end=\"2411\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2413\" data-end=\"2429\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2431\" data-end=\"2712\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2431\" data-end=\"2493\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2433\" data-end=\"2493\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2433\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003eBirthday pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e your friends will talk about for years\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2494\" data-end=\"2546\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2496\" data-end=\"2546\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2496\" data-end=\"2519\"\u003eAnonymous surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e that leave them guessing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2547\" data-end=\"2601\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2549\" data-end=\"2601\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2549\" data-end=\"2566\"\u003ePetty revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e wrapped in glitter and cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2602\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2604\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2604\" data-end=\"2620\"\u003eParty laughs\u003c\/strong\u003e that set the tone for a wild night\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2658\" data-end=\"2712\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2660\" data-end=\"2712\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2660\" data-end=\"2676\"\u003eInside jokes\u003c\/strong\u003e that only the two of you will get\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2714\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2719\" data-end=\"2743\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2745\" data-end=\"3123\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2745\" data-end=\"2836\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2747\" data-end=\"2836\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2747\" data-end=\"2787\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inch folded birthday card\u003c\/strong\u003e made from durable 14 pt double-sided cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2837\" data-end=\"2897\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2839\" data-end=\"2897\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2839\" data-end=\"2862\"\u003eBright, bold design\u003c\/strong\u003e that grabs attention immediately\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2898\" data-end=\"2957\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2900\" data-end=\"2957\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2900\" data-end=\"2922\"\u003eAnonymous delivery\u003c\/strong\u003e - no return address, no evidence\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2958\" data-end=\"3049\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2960\" data-end=\"3049\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2960\" data-end=\"2980\"\u003eOptional add-ons\u003c\/strong\u003e like dick confetti or a bag of gummy dicks for next-level trolling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3050\" data-end=\"3123\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3052\" data-end=\"3123\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3052\" data-end=\"3076\"\u003eCustomizable message\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can be as sweet or savage as you like\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3125\" data-end=\"3128\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3130\" data-end=\"3171\"\u003eReal Reviews from Real Evil Geniuses\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3173\" data-end=\"3766\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3173\" data-end=\"3700\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3175\" data-end=\"3700\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3175\" data-end=\"3698\"\u003e“I had ordered a bag of confetti dicks along with the birthday card for my buddy’s 40-something birthday as a prank and when it arrived at his home I was anticipating a phone call from him quite soon, and when I heard the message he left on my voicemail inquiring if I was one of the top 5 suspects on his list that would pull such a stunt I could not help but bust a gut laughing and called him back and confessed it was me as I didn't want him sending death threats to his ex in case she was still on his suspect list!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3701\" data-end=\"3740\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3703\" data-end=\"3740\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3703\" data-end=\"3738\"\u003e“The guy I sent it to loved it!!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3741\" data-end=\"3766\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3743\" data-end=\"3766\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3743\" data-end=\"3764\"\u003e“Great experience.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3768\" data-end=\"3771\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3773\" data-end=\"3803\"\u003eWhy This Works Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3805\" data-end=\"3999\"\u003eBecause it’s simple, cheap, and absolutely devastating in the right hands. You’re not just sending a card - you’re sending a story. The kind of story they’ll retell every birthday from now on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4001\" data-end=\"4096\"\u003eAnd thanks to \u003cstrong data-start=\"4015\" data-end=\"4037\"\u003eanonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e, you can keep the mystery alive for as long as you want.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4098\" data-end=\"4101\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4103\" data-end=\"4252\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4103\" data-end=\"4124\"\u003eClick Add to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now and send them a birthday wish they’ll remember every time they find another stray piece of dick confetti under the couch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4103\" data-end=\"4252\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":33370745485,"sku":"BDAYBODCARD","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter","offer_id":33557809869,"sku":"BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti","offer_id":33557836045,"sku":"BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/happy-birthday-card-8550653.jpg?v=1755879323"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-dick-head-greeting-card","title":"Happy Birthday DICKHEAD Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"331\"\u003eHappy Birthday DICKHEAD Greeting Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"333\" data-end=\"631\"\u003eLet’s be honest, some people don’t deserve a sweet card with kittens, balloons, or “best wishes.” They deserve a card that screams exactly what you’re thinking: \u003cstrong data-start=\"494\" data-end=\"524\"\u003e“Happy Birthday DICKHEAD.”\u003c\/strong\u003e This isn’t a typo, this is a statement. A savage, hilarious, unforgettable statement in 14 pt cardstock.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"633\" data-end=\"783\"\u003eSo yeah, skip the polite card aisle garbage. Send this and watch their jaw drop, followed by uncontrollable laughter (or rage, which is also funny).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"785\" data-end=\"866\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"785\" data-end=\"799\"\u003eBuy it now\u003c\/strong\u003e and give the gift of blunt honesty with a side of petty revenge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"868\" data-end=\"871\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"873\" data-end=\"915\"\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Dickhead Card\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"917\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003eBecause life’s too short for boring birthdays. The world doesn’t need another glittery Hallmark card about “friendship” or “getting older gracefully.” Screw that. What your buddy, sibling, roommate, or ex really needs is a brutal reminder of who they are: a complete dickhead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1197\" data-end=\"1448\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"1202\" data-end=\"1234\"\u003ehappy birthday dickhead card\u003c\/strong\u003e gets the job done. It’s sharp, it’s rude, and it’s funny as hell. Whether you’re pulling off a prank, settling a score, or just being the funniest friend in the group, this is the adult greeting card that kills.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1450\" data-end=\"1453\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1455\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003eA Story You’ll Appreciate\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1805\"\u003eOne customer dropped this banger: \u003cem data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1803\"\u003e“Thank you all for going above and beyond the call of duty to make sure that my dying brother-in-law got his birthday gift... even if it was late. After returning from the hospital today he thoroughly enjoyed being able to eat his tits and dicks at his leisure. Thank you again.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1807\" data-end=\"1916\"\u003eThat’s legendary. Dude literally came back from the hospital and his gift was a dickhead birthday surprise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1918\" data-end=\"2000\"\u003eAnother customer put it straight: \u003cem data-start=\"1952\" data-end=\"1998\"\u003e“Excellent surprise gift! Lots of laugh!!!!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2002\" data-end=\"2248\"\u003eAnd then there’s this gem: \u003cem data-start=\"2029\" data-end=\"2139\"\u003e“I am getting it for my best friend but she is a girl wondering if u have one for woman or are they unisex.”\u003c\/em\u003e Short answer: yes, calling someone a dickhead is 100% unisex. If you’ve got a head, you can be a dickhead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2250\" data-end=\"2253\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2255\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2282\" data-end=\"2721\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2282\" data-end=\"2367\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2284\" data-end=\"2367\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2286\" data-end=\"2326\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inch folded greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e printed with “Happy Birthday DICKHEAD”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2368\" data-end=\"2449\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2370\" data-end=\"2449\"\u003eMade of \u003cstrong data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2418\"\u003equality double-sided 14 pt cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e so it feels legit and sturdy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2450\" data-end=\"2547\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2547\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2468\"\u003eBlank inside\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can write something even meaner, funnier, or borderline incriminating\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2548\" data-end=\"2613\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2550\" data-end=\"2613\"\u003eComes with a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2581\"\u003ewhite envelope\u003c\/strong\u003e ready to mail or hand deliver\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2614\" data-end=\"2721\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2616\" data-end=\"2721\"\u003eShips 100 percent \u003cstrong data-start=\"2634\" data-end=\"2649\"\u003eanonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you don’t always want to get caught being the savage you are\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2723\" data-end=\"2726\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2728\" data-end=\"2745\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2747\" data-end=\"3140\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2747\" data-end=\"2813\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2749\" data-end=\"2813\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2751\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003ebirthday prank\u003c\/strong\u003e that lands harder than a tequila hangover\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2814\" data-end=\"2872\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2816\" data-end=\"2872\"\u003eAn \u003cstrong data-start=\"2819\" data-end=\"2841\"\u003eanonymous surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e for the jerk who deserves it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2873\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2875\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2877\" data-end=\"2900\"\u003ewhite elephant gift\u003c\/strong\u003e that nobody will top\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2924\" data-end=\"2981\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2926\" data-end=\"2981\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2928\" data-end=\"2950\"\u003epetty revenge play\u003c\/strong\u003e on someone who had it coming\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2982\" data-end=\"3052\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2984\" data-end=\"3052\"\u003eAn \u003cstrong data-start=\"2987\" data-end=\"3010\"\u003eadult greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e for people who can actually take a joke\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3053\" data-end=\"3140\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3055\" data-end=\"3140\"\u003eOr just your way of saying \u003cstrong data-start=\"3082\" data-end=\"3109\"\u003ehappy birthday dick pic\u003c\/strong\u003e without actually sending one\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3142\" data-end=\"3145\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3147\" data-end=\"3178\"\u003eReal Reviews, Real Laughs\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3180\" data-end=\"3438\"\u003e“Thank you all for going above and beyond the call of duty to make sure that my dying brother-in-law got his birthday gift… After returning from the hospital today he thoroughly enjoyed being able to eat his tits and dicks at his leisure. Thank you again.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3440\" data-end=\"3486\"\u003e“Excellent surprise gift! Lots of laugh!!!!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3488\" data-end=\"3597\"\u003e“I am getting it for my best friend but she is a girl wondering if u have one for woman or are the unisex.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3599\" data-end=\"3602\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3604\" data-end=\"3639\"\u003eWhy This Card Wins Every Time\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3641\" data-end=\"3900\"\u003eLook, anyone can buy a lame “Over the Hill” card with a picture of a cake or some boring joke about age. But those get tossed in the trash. This card? This card is legendary. People take pictures of it, they show it to friends, they remember it years later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3902\" data-end=\"4102\"\u003eIt’s the card that says exactly what you want to say but with better timing. Whether you’re roasting your best friend, your sibling, or your ex, this \u003cstrong data-start=\"4052\" data-end=\"4084\"\u003ehappy birthday dickhead card\u003c\/strong\u003e nails the vibe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4104\" data-end=\"4107\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"4109\" data-end=\"4126\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4128\" data-end=\"4346\"\u003eStop wasting money on sentimental nonsense. Birthdays are about laughs, not sap. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"4213\" data-end=\"4254\"\u003eHappy Birthday DICKHEAD Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is the best way to make someone laugh, cry, and question your friendship all in one shot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4348\" data-end=\"4452\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4348\" data-end=\"4373\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and make sure the next birthday party you crash is one they’ll never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4348\" data-end=\"4452\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":36537659085,"sku":"HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter","offer_id":36537856205,"sku":"HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD+GLITTER","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti","offer_id":36537856269,"sku":"HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/happy-birthday-dickhead-greeting-card-1967812.png?v=1755879236"},{"product_id":"prank-glitter-bomb-cards","title":"EXPLODING Glitter Bomb Cards!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"231\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"138\" data-end=\"229\"\u003eEXPLODING Glitter Bomb Cards – The Card That Says “I Care” in the Pettiest Way Possible\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"233\" data-end=\"399\"\u003eNormal greeting cards are boring. You open them, maybe there’s some half-assed joke inside, maybe twenty bucks if you’re lucky, and then you toss them in the trash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"401\" data-end=\"420\"\u003eNot this bad boy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"422\" data-end=\"769\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"426\" data-end=\"457\"\u003eEXPLODING Glitter Bomb Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is not here to say “Happy Birthday” or “Get Well Soon.” It’s here to say, \u003cem data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"629\"\u003eI love you enough to ruin your day with microscopic shiny chaos that will haunt you for months.\u003c\/em\u003e You know what’s better than sending a boring thank-you card? Sending one that detonates into a glitter apocalypse the moment it’s opened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"771\" data-end=\"963\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to combine thoughtful with evil, this is your chance. Pick a theme, ship it anonymously, and watch your target get absolutely annihilated by a blizzard of sparkly hell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"998\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"996\"\u003eSend it now. Laugh forever.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1003\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1037\"\u003eWhy You Should 100% Do This\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1039\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1039\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1041\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1041\" data-end=\"1070\"\u003eInstant mess, zero damage\u003c\/strong\u003e – It’s petty, not destructive. The perfect level of evil.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1131\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1153\"\u003eEndless reminder\u003c\/strong\u003e – Glitter sticks to everything, so they’ll be finding it in their socks, hair, and bathroom for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1262\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1262\" data-end=\"1280\"\u003eFull anonymity\u003c\/strong\u003e – No fingerprints, no trail. You are a ghost.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1330\" data-end=\"1333\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1335\" data-end=\"1367\"\u003eThe Glitter Storm in Action\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1369\" data-end=\"1559\"\u003eImagine this: your ex, your friend, your brother, whoever – they check the mail and see a cute little greeting card. Their guard is down. They’re expecting heartfelt words or maybe a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1561\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003eThen… \u003cstrong data-start=\"1567\" data-end=\"1575\"\u003eBOOM\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1580\" data-end=\"1822\"\u003eA payload of glitter or dick confetti bursts into the air like a Vegas showgirl exploded. It’s in their car vents. It’s in their phone case. The dog’s now wearing it. Weeks later, they’re still discovering tiny reminders of the day you won.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1824\" data-end=\"1827\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1829\" data-end=\"1856\"\u003eWhat People Are Saying\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1858\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1860\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e“I sent the anonymous package to my sister, she laughed so hard!!”\u003cbr data-start=\"1926\" data-end=\"1929\"\u003e“I didn’t see it go down but I did see the glitter on my coworker’s boots. 10\/10. ❤”\u003cbr data-start=\"2015\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003e“Sent the exploding card to an ex, he opened it in his car and said he vacuumed multiple times and it was still there. Job well done.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2161\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2163\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003eWhat You’re Actually Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2198\" data-end=\"2456\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2198\" data-end=\"2271\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2200\" data-end=\"2271\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2200\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003eFolded greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e rigged with a glitter or dick confetti bomb.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2272\" data-end=\"2317\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2274\" data-end=\"2317\"\u003eMultiple hilarious themes to choose from.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2318\" data-end=\"2379\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2320\" data-end=\"2379\"\u003eShips completely anonymously – no one will know it’s you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2456\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2382\" data-end=\"2456\"\u003eA perfectly balanced prank that’s funny, infuriating, and unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2458\" data-end=\"2461\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2463\" data-end=\"2504\"\u003ePerfect Situations for Maximum Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2506\" data-end=\"2743\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2506\" data-end=\"2559\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2508\" data-end=\"2559\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2508\" data-end=\"2525\"\u003eBreakup laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because closure is overrated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2560\" data-end=\"2617\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2562\" data-end=\"2617\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2562\" data-end=\"2583\"\u003eBirthday surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e – Outshine the cake, literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2618\" data-end=\"2674\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2620\" data-end=\"2674\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2620\" data-end=\"2637\"\u003ePetty revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e – The safe, legal way to get even.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2675\" data-end=\"2743\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2677\" data-end=\"2743\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2677\" data-end=\"2693\"\u003eJust because\u003c\/strong\u003e – No reason needed for glitter-based terrorism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2745\" data-end=\"2748\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2750\" data-end=\"2778\"\u003eHow to Pull the Trigger\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2780\" data-end=\"2958\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2780\" data-end=\"2806\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2783\" data-end=\"2806\"\u003ePick your card theme.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2807\" data-end=\"2873\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2810\" data-end=\"2873\"\u003eDecide between glitter or dick confetti (or go wild and mix).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2874\" data-end=\"2921\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2877\" data-end=\"2921\"\u003eEnter their address, keep yours out of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2922\" data-end=\"2958\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2925\" data-end=\"2958\"\u003eShip it. Wait. Enjoy the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2960\" data-end=\"3115\"\u003eThe fun part is they can never truly clean it up. Six months later they’ll still be muttering your name when they find glitter in their underwear drawer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3117\" data-end=\"3120\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3122\" data-end=\"3191\"\u003eDon’t Just Send a Card – Send a Story They’ll Never Stop Telling\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3193\" data-end=\"3370\"\u003eYou’re not buying a piece of cardstock. You’re buying a \u003cem data-start=\"3249\" data-end=\"3257\"\u003emoment\u003c\/em\u003e – a glitter-coated memory that will be retold at parties, group chats, and therapy sessions for years to come.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3372\" data-end=\"3519\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3378\" data-end=\"3393\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now and ship an \u003cstrong data-start=\"3410\" data-end=\"3441\"\u003eEXPLODING Glitter Bomb Card\u003c\/strong\u003e. Because if you’re going to say it, say it with sparkle-fueled destruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Have a Great Day!","offer_id":37300641869,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Sorry for the Dicks - Please Accept This Gift Card as an Apology","offer_id":37315700109,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sorry for the Dicks - Please Accept This Gift Card as an Apology (Middle Finger)","offer_id":37316087757,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sorry for the Dicks - Please Accept This Gift Card as an Apology (Middle Finger to the Face)","offer_id":37316132621,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sorry for the Dicks - Please Accept This Gift Card as an Apology (Haha Just Kidding Here's Some More Dicks) - Dick Confetti","offer_id":38625816205,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/exploding-glitter-bomb-cards-3277584.jpg?v=1755879243"},{"product_id":"the-joker-cricket","title":"The Joker Cricket","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePress Play and Cricket noise loops non-stop for 8+ hours\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCricket drop plays hours of cricket noise. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHide the cricket nearly anywhere with the very sticky adhesive on back!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePrank war? Leave a message for them on the front. So after the 5 hours of searching they know who to text. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo off switch. They must break it to stop it. Muhahah\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"1","offer_id":39108209805,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2","offer_id":39108209869,"sku":"","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4","offer_id":39108241037,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/the-joker-cricket-4562933.png?v=1755879238"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-original-greeting-card","title":"Eat a Dick - Original Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ciframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lc1VdWKMdrg\" height=\"315\" width=\"560\"\u003e\u003c\/iframe\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"216\"\u003eEat a Dick - Original Greeting Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"218\" data-end=\"415\"\u003eSome cards say “Happy Birthday.” Some say “Congratulations.” This one says \u003cstrong data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"307\"\u003eEAT A DICK\u003c\/strong\u003e in glorious 3D pop-up form because sometimes that’s the only sentiment that really captures how you feel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"417\" data-end=\"645\"\u003eWe’re talking about a high-quality folded greeting card that opens to reveal a proud pop-up penis with the boldest message imaginable. It’s not subtle. It’s not sweet. It’s a full-on comedic middle finger wrapped in cardstock.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"647\" data-end=\"762\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"647\" data-end=\"760\"\u003eOrder now, ship it anonymously, and let someone’s day explode into laughter, shock, and possibly a spit-take.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"764\" data-end=\"767\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"769\" data-end=\"822\"\u003eWhy This Card Slaps (Literally and Figuratively)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"960\"\u003eThink about the last time you got a greeting card. Probably had flowers, some boring cursive, and an impersonal “Best Wishes.” Snooze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"1278\"\u003eNow imagine handing or mailing someone a card that opens to a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1056\"\u003emassive unapologetic 3D dick\u003c\/strong\u003e. It’s pure chaos and it works every single time. Whether it’s revenge, a prank, or just a spontaneous “because I can,” this card is a guaranteed conversation piece. They won’t throw it away. They’ll show it to everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1280\" data-end=\"1426\"\u003eThis thing is made from sturdy double-sided 14 pt cardstock so it’s got that premium feel… if premium meant high-quality insult delivery system.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1428\" data-end=\"1431\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1433\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003eHow It Plays Out\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1456\" data-end=\"1619\"\u003eYou send the card. They open it expecting something sweet. Instead, boom — there it is, the mighty pop-up meat missile with “EAT A DICK” screaming in their face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1621\" data-end=\"1804\"\u003eThey freeze for a second. Then it happens. The laugh. The “WTF?!” The immediate photo taken and texted to friends. And if you send it anonymously, the mystery adds fuel to the fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1806\" data-end=\"1843\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1806\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003eReal reviews from real legends:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1847\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e“My husband laughed so hard, great surprise gift hahaha.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1907\" data-end=\"1997\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1909\" data-end=\"1997\"\u003e“The person I sent this to still has no idea who sent it. And I absolutely love that!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1998\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2000\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003e“This was payback for putting a rival team's stuff all over my truck. The recipient wasn't sure it was me but said ‘that made my day! Seriously, it made my day.’ It was fun and worth the money.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2198\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2219\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2221\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2221\" data-end=\"2269\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2223\" data-end=\"2269\"\u003eBirthday jokes that hit harder than confetti\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2317\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2272\" data-end=\"2317\"\u003eAnonymous revenge without the police report\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2318\" data-end=\"2375\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2320\" data-end=\"2375\"\u003eBreakup laughs that say “I’m fine, thanks for asking”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2423\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2423\"\u003eSports rival payback after a trash talk war\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2426\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003eRandom Tuesday chaos injection\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2460\" data-end=\"2463\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2465\" data-end=\"2496\"\u003eWhat You’re Really Sending\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2498\" data-end=\"2756\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2498\" data-end=\"2591\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2500\" data-end=\"2591\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2502\" data-end=\"2542\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inch folded greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e made from quality 14 pt double-sided cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2592\" data-end=\"2652\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2594\" data-end=\"2652\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2596\" data-end=\"2615\"\u003e3D pop-up penis\u003c\/strong\u003e with the words “EAT A DICK” inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2653\" data-end=\"2715\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2655\" data-end=\"2715\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping for maximum prank potential\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2756\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2756\"\u003eA story they will never stop telling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2758\" data-end=\"2761\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2763\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003eHow to Pull It Off Like a Pro\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2799\" data-end=\"2979\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2799\" data-end=\"2815\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"2815\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2816\" data-end=\"2881\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2819\" data-end=\"2881\"\u003eShip it straight to their doorstep with no trace back to you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2979\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2885\" data-end=\"2979\"\u003eSit back, relax, and wait for the confusion, laughter, and text messages to start rolling in\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2981\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"3006\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3008\" data-end=\"3254\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3012\" data-end=\"3051\"\u003eEat a Dick - Original Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is not polite. It’s not safe. It’s not something you give your sweet old aunt unless she’s cool. But it is the funniest most shockingly perfect way to say “screw you” while still making someone’s day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3256\" data-end=\"3378\"\u003eStop overthinking. Skip the flowers. Skip the generic “Happy Birthday.” \u003cstrong data-start=\"3328\" data-end=\"3376\"\u003eSend them the one card they’ll never forget.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3256\" data-end=\"3378\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":39619095821,"sku":"EATADCARD","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":39655016717,"sku":"EATADCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":39688850445,"sku":"EATADCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":39688877709,"sku":"EATADCARD+BOD","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-dick-original-greeting-card-7707185.jpg?v=1755879236"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-dick-bomb","title":"Spring Loaded Dick Bomb!","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause life’s too short not to blast your friends in the face with exploding dicks.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEver wished you could perfectly capture the magic of a “WTF just happened?!” moment? Something so unexpected, so wildly inappropriate, that your target is left gasping, laughing, and sweeping up tiny penis confetti for weeks? Enter the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, the glitter-dick-packed, prank-masterpiece disguised as a totally innocent incense tube… until \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBOOM\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIn one glorious split-second, their world goes from “Hmm, what’s this?” to \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eexploding dicks everywhere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Not metaphorical dicks. Not a polite “eat a bag of dicks” greeting card. No, we’re talking \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ereal, tangible, shiny\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003edick confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e flying through the air like a glittery tsunami of shame.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo yeah, if you’ve ever wanted to send the ultimate “I love you but I also hate you” message, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethis is your weapon of choice\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Scroll down, smash the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e button, and get ready to become the undisputed champion of petty revenge.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need a Dick Glitter Bomb in Your Life\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e isn’t just a prank. It’s performance art. Here’s why it’s so damn satisfying:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s 100% unexpected\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Nobody thinks, “Oh, this innocent-looking incense tube is gonna shoot a dick explosion in my face.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s petty perfection\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Revenge without the drama. Laughter without the cops.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s customizable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Add \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ejizz confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, more glitter, or go full chaos with both.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s not just for enemies\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Works just as well for bachelorette parties, birthdays, or the friend who “accidentally” ruined your favorite shirt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Art of the Exploding Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePicture this:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey pick up the package. “Hmm… what’s this?”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e They open it slowly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You’re somewhere across town, phone in hand, waiting like a deranged Bond villain.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSprrrrrang!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003espring loaded dick bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e erupts in a blinding storm of \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003epenis confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd just like that, they’re in the middle of a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eglitter dick apocalypse\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. It’s in their hair. It’s in their shoes. It’s on their dog. Weeks later, they’ll still be finding little sparkly dicks in the couch cushions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews From People Just As Twisted As You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“He loved the dicks, he had to dump out his shoes after it blew all over him……”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Definitely loved to prank my bestie! Let’s just say I won!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “One of my best friends and her daughter both wore glittery outfits to my Halloween party. I am still finding glitter. And after several weeks of them laughing about it, I had to seek my revenge quietly and carefully. The only obvious solution was a dick glitter bomb. I waited eagerly in anticipation for my phone to ring. And when it did the names I was called and the giggles I had made it all worth it. The follow up texts from the glitter dick finding over the next several days not only made me feel like it was revenge well served but also made me realize that therapy isn’t necessary. The only thing I need is dick glitter bombs. I’m a lot happier now. Thanks dick glitter bombs!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Specs (AKA What You’re Really Paying For)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDisguise:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Looks like a realistic incense tube\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMechanism:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Spring loaded container that fires \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003econfetti dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e with shocking force\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExtras:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Add jizz confetti, glitter, or both for maximum chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous, no return address, no snitching\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUses:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anonymous prank, hilarious gag gift, bachelorette party chaos, petty revenge against friends\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFrom:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The masters of prank warfare, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDicksByMail\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It Works Better Than Any Lame Prank You’ve Tried\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnyone can send a dumb meme or say “eat a bag of dicks” in a group chat. That’s amateur hour. But a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003espring loaded penis bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e? That’s a statement. It’s personal. It’s physical comedy. It’s something they’ll be talking about for years. Hell, you might even earn legendary status in your friend group as \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethat\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e person, the one who pulled off the perfect \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eglitter dick bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e strike.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDo It. You Know You Want To.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour future victim is out there right now, living their life, blissfully unaware that their carpet, clothes, and cat are about to get \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ecovered in exploding dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Don’t deny yourself this joy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-397e87c3-7fff-59b1-f1f6-f6a314228e52\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHit that \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e button. Send the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. And bask in the glow of knowing you just unleashed a wave of glittery chaos that’ll haunt them for weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Dicks","offer_id":41525668053076,"sku":"DICKBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Dicks","offer_id":41525100478548,"sku":"DOUBLEDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dick \u0026 Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41525100445780,"sku":"DICKANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Regular Glitter","offer_id":41525100511316,"sku":"DICKANDGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Golden Shower Glitter","offer_id":41525100544084,"sku":"DICKANDGOLDENGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hit 'em with the ultimate combo Dicks \u0026 Jizz \u0026 Glitter","offer_id":41525100576852,"sku":"DICKJIZZANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/spring-loaded-poop-emoji-glitter-cannon-prank-3477554.png?v=1755878733"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-giant-chocolate-dick","title":"Eat a Dick - The Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Dick – The Chocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSolid chocolate. Solid insult. Solid gold prank.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou know what’s better than sending someone flowers? Sending them a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egiant chocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e they have to unwrap, stare at, and decide if they’re gonna bite the tip first or go straight for the base.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Dick – Chocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is not subtle. It’s not romantic (unless your romance involves filthy jokes). It’s a big, solid, 4-to-5.5 inch \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made from gluten-free Peruvian cacao, and it shows up in a sleek black box like some luxury jewelry… if the “jewel” was a perfectly molded cocoa cock.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd the best part? It ships \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. No sender info. No return address. Just pure, edible confusion delivered right to their door.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo yeah, if you’ve got a friend, ex, sibling, or Valentine who deserves a big chocolate middle finger, this is it. Smash that \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e button and let the cocoa chaos begin.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Chocolate Penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the perfect edible “F you” for any occasion:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s edible art\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Made from high-quality gluten-free Peruvian cacao, it actually tastes amazing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a visual gut punch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They open the box and immediately regret their life choices.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s versatile\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Works for birthdays, bachelorette parties, Valentine’s Day, revenge gifts, or “just because.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s anonymous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They’ll never know it was you… unless you’re giggling too hard to keep the secret.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImagine this:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey get a package. Looks fancy. They open it expecting fine chocolates or maybe a nice watch. Nope. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egiant chocolate cock\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring them in the face like, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Hey there, champ. Eat me.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey laugh. They take a picture. They send it to three friends. Then they either eat it (because chocolate is chocolate) or put it on display like a weird edible trophy. Either way, you win.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Went There\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Great way to prank your best friend or not-so-best friend, anonymous and hilarious.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Bought it for a friend as a gag gift and it arrived on Valentine’s Day, she opened it in front of her 10-year-old son who won’t stop asking questions.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Sent it to my sister and she absolutely died laughing, she loved it.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Delicious Details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 4 to 5.5 inches, 3 to 4 oz of solid chocolate goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Gluten-free Peruvian cacao – because even insults should taste gourmet\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sleek black box that screams “classy” until you open it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExtras:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Optional upgraded gift box for maximum surprise factor\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous – the mystery is half the fun\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUse Cases:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anonymous prank, birthday\/gag gift, bachelorette party, Valentine’s Day joke, breakup revenge, just because you can\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause even if they hate you, they can’t hate chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because nothing breaks tension like opening a box to find a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig chocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring back at you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because this is a prank that’s edible, harmless, and yet deeply personal.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSeriously, your “eat a dick chocolate” moment will live rent-free in their head for years. It’s a conversation starter, a photo op, and a power move all in one shiny cocoa package.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend It. Bite It. Love It.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s the play:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEnter their address.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSit back and wait for the confused text, the awkward photo, or the phone call that starts with “What the hell, man?”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s that simple. You can send a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig chocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e for less than the price of a boring bouquet, and it’ll get way more laughs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-c363c91c-7fff-eff1-66c2-793662dace9e\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo do it. Make someone’s day. Make them eat a dick.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate Dick","offer_id":930360131597,"sku":"CHOCOD","price":22.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box","offer_id":41567798886484,"sku":"NUTSABOUTYOUCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something Fabulous In There Pride Box","offer_id":41567798919252,"sku":"FABULOUSCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regal - Fake Watch Gift Prank","offer_id":42636581765204,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"New Phone Gift Prank","offer_id":42636581797972,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Congratulations!","offer_id":42636581666900,"sku":"CONGRATSCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Happy Birthday Box","offer_id":32160656261204,"sku":"HBDCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Be Mine Box","offer_id":41567798853716,"sku":"BEMINECHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Christmas Box","offer_id":42636581699668,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Don","offer_id":42636581732436,"sku":"THEDONCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Christmas Box","offer_id":41567799017556,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/all-the-dicks-bundle-gummy-dicks-chocolate-dick-and-dick-glitter-bomb-6404789.jpg?v=1764100227"},{"product_id":"emojibator-go-fuck-yourself","title":"Emojibator - Go Fuck Yourself","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"152\" data-end=\"185\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmojibator - Go Fuck Yourself\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"187\" data-end=\"282\"\u003eBecause sometimes, the only logical thing left to say is \u003cstrong data-start=\"244\" data-end=\"266\"\u003e“Go Fuck Yourself”\u003c\/strong\u003e... literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"284\" data-end=\"702\"\u003eThis is not your average gag gift. This is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"329\" data-end=\"384\"\u003efully functional, 10-speed eggplant-shaped vibrator\u003c\/strong\u003e that manages to be both \u003cstrong data-start=\"409\" data-end=\"430\"\u003ehilariously petty\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"435\" data-end=\"456\"\u003eshockingly useful\u003c\/strong\u003e at the same time. Perfect for breakups, Galentine’s Day, bachelorette parties, or as a little love letter to yourself, the Emojibator - Go Fuck Yourself is the kind of gift that says \u003cem data-start=\"640\" data-end=\"649\"\u003eexactly\u003c\/em\u003e what you mean, with no room for misinterpretation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"704\" data-end=\"1030\"\u003eWhether you’re sending it to an ex as a parting shot or gifting it to your best friend with a wink and a laugh, this \u003cstrong data-start=\"821\" data-end=\"859\"\u003e4.84 x 1.22 inch purple powerhouse\u003c\/strong\u003e gets the point across. And the best part? It ships \u003cstrong data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"938\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e, so you can drop your little vibrating truth bomb without anyone ever knowing it was you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1032\" data-end=\"1118\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1032\" data-end=\"1047\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now and deliver the sassiest, most satisfying “f*** you” in history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1123\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1125\" data-end=\"1165\"\u003eWhy This is the Ultimate Petty Gift\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1167\" data-end=\"1463\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1167\" data-end=\"1216\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1216\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1191\"\u003eHilariously direct\u003c\/strong\u003e - the name says it all\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1287\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1287\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1237\"\u003eActually works\u003c\/strong\u003e - 10 vibration settings for maximum “self care”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1288\" data-end=\"1378\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1290\" data-end=\"1378\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1290\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003eCompact and cute\u003c\/strong\u003e - travel-sized eggplant emoji that fits in your bag or nightstand\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1379\" data-end=\"1463\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1381\" data-end=\"1463\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1381\" data-end=\"1403\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - no receipts, no return address, no awkward explanations\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1465\" data-end=\"1468\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1470\" data-end=\"1500\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1502\" data-end=\"1702\"\u003ePicture this. They get a small, innocent-looking package in the mail. They open it. There it is... an \u003cstrong data-start=\"1604\" data-end=\"1625\"\u003eeggplant vibrator\u003c\/strong\u003e staring them down with the smugness only a plastic vegetable can pull off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1704\" data-end=\"1836\"\u003eThey laugh. They blush. They don’t know whether to be insulted or impressed. But here’s the thing - they’re definitely keeping it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1838\" data-end=\"2110\"\u003eFast forward a week... they’re still talking about it. They’ve shown their friends. They’ve told the story ten times. You’ve given them the most unforgettable gag gift of their life - and you’re somewhere else, sipping wine, giggling to yourself like the genius you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2112\" data-end=\"2115\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2117\" data-end=\"2157\"\u003eReal Reviews From People Who Get It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2159\" data-end=\"2330\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2159\" data-end=\"2264\"\u003e\"It’s the perfect size, soo cute, travel size. Only thing is batteries go fast lol. 10\/10 Love it!!!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2264\" data-end=\"2267\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2267\" data-end=\"2328\"\u003e\"Amazing. Got this for myself and absolutely love it!!!!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2332\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2337\" data-end=\"2361\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2363\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2363\" data-end=\"2412\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2365\" data-end=\"2412\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2365\" data-end=\"2410\"\u003e4.84 x 1.22 inch eggplant-shaped vibrator\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2413\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2415\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2415\" data-end=\"2440\"\u003e10 vibration settings\u003c\/strong\u003e for a customizable ride\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2467\" data-end=\"2526\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2469\" data-end=\"2526\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2469\" data-end=\"2492\"\u003eTravel-sized design\u003c\/strong\u003e for easy storage or portability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2527\" data-end=\"2564\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2529\" data-end=\"2564\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2529\" data-end=\"2562\"\u003eMade from body-safe materials\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2565\" data-end=\"2612\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2567\" data-end=\"2612\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2567\" data-end=\"2589\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e for zero awkwardness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2613\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2615\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003eA perfect mix of \u003cstrong data-start=\"2632\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003ecomedy and actual functionality\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2671\" data-end=\"2674\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2676\" data-end=\"2704\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2706\" data-end=\"2894\"\u003eBecause it’s \u003cstrong data-start=\"2719\" data-end=\"2756\"\u003eequal parts insult and indulgence\u003c\/strong\u003e. Sure, it’s funny. Sure, it’s petty. But unlike most gag gifts, this one actually \u003cem data-start=\"2839\" data-end=\"2855\"\u003edoes something\u003c\/em\u003e. And that’s what makes it legendary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2896\" data-end=\"3179\"\u003eIt’s not just a joke. It’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2925\" data-end=\"2949\"\u003econversation starter\u003c\/strong\u003e, a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2953\" data-end=\"2973\"\u003ememorable moment\u003c\/strong\u003e, and in some cases... a gift that keeps on giving. Whether they laugh, roll their eyes, or send you a thank-you text they’ll regret later, you’ve officially cemented your place in their personal history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3181\" data-end=\"3184\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3186\" data-end=\"3224\"\u003eBe the Legend of Their Group Chat\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3226\" data-end=\"3362\"\u003eAnyone can send flowers or a card. It takes a true legend to send an \u003cstrong data-start=\"3295\" data-end=\"3326\"\u003eanonymous eggplant vibrator\u003c\/strong\u003e with a silent-but-deadly message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3364\" data-end=\"3509\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3370\" data-end=\"3385\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e. Send it. Sit back. And know you’ve just sent the most outrageous, on-brand “Go Fuck Yourself” the world has ever seen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3364\" data-end=\"3509\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----- \/ Emojibator","offer_id":1614136967181,"sku":"","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Go Fuck Yourself Literally Case \/ Emojibator","offer_id":1614136999949,"sku":"","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"----- \/ The Banana Emojibator","offer_id":4001244610573,"sku":"","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Go Fuck Yourself Literally Case \/ The Banana Emojibator","offer_id":21667773251668,"sku":"","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/emojibator-vibrator_2048x2048_efd17bd4-5b8e-4cbe-a6ea-cbac6417911a.jpg?v=1512007686"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-christmas-dick","title":"The Chocolate Christmas Dick","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a mouth full of solid chocolate dick.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTired of giving boring gifts like socks, candles, or that dumb bath set nobody uses? Time to level up your holiday game with something they’ll actually remember – \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not some flimsy little novelty candy. We’re talking about a hefty, 5 to 5.5 inch, 4 to 6 oz \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, made with organic ingredients and delivered in a discreet box. Oh, and it has a holiday tagline that reads “Hoe hoe hoe, for the hoe in your life.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, it’s edible. And yes, it will be the star of your Christmas morning, your white elephant exchange, or that family gift swap you always dread.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo if you want to be the MVP of gift giving this year, scroll down and hit \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Your friends, your enemies, and maybe even grandma will thank you… eventually.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need a Christmas Dick in Your Life\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the funniest stocking stuffer ever\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – No one forgets opening a box to find a giant chocolate cock staring back at them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s actually tasty\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Made with organic ingredients, so your prank can also be delicious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a conversation starter\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – And by conversation, we mean uncontrollable laughter followed by inappropriate photos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt ships anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They’ll have no clue who sent it unless you want to own your masterpiece.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re About to Create\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s Christmas morning. The room smells like cinnamon and coffee. Someone picks up a small box from their stocking, opens it, and freezes. The entire room goes silent before erupting in pure chaos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause inside that box is not a watch. Not a gift card. Not a heartfelt token of love. Nope. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig Christmas dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made entirely of chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere’s blushing. There’s laughter. Someone shouts “What the hell is wrong with you?” and you just smile because you know exactly what’s wrong, and it’s perfect.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who’ve Gone Full Naughty List\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Used this for a white elephant gift exchange and it by far got the best reaction! Everyone died laughing! It was perfect!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “I sent a Christmas dick to my ex!! He loves chocolate and it just tickles me to think of him eat a chocolate dick. He messaged me and said he wasn’t eating it. I told him to just hold it in his mouth… it would melt 🤣🤣🤣 I love it!!!! I love his reaction!!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “When I told her I sent it she told me it was the greatest thing she’s ever received.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Delicious Details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 5 to 5.5 inches tall, 4 to 6 oz of solid chocolate\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Rich, organic chocolate goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Discreet box with holiday “Hoe hoe hoe” theme\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous shipping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOrder Options:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e One dick, two dicks, three dicks, four dicks, six dicks for the family, ten dicks for when you’re pranking everyone\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Christmas gag gift, anonymous prank, stocking stuffer, revenge gift, holiday party joke, white elephant surprise\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Gift Works Every Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause everyone loves chocolate, but no one expects it to be shaped like a penis. It’s edible, it’s hilarious, and it’s the one thing they’ll be talking about long after the tree comes down.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven if they pretend to be offended, they’ll probably still take a bite. And when they do, they’ll realize it’s actually good chocolate, which makes your prank even sweeter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBe the Legend of This Year’s Christmas\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, you have the chance to turn a boring holiday gathering into an unforgettable moment of shock, laughter, and maybe a little drooling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMake this Christmas one for the naughty list.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DicksByMail","offers":[{"title":"Santa Box \/ One Dick!","offer_id":41726325129300,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":41726325162068,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":41726325194836,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42612887519316,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":41726325293140,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636622430292,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636622463060,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636622495828,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636622528596,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636622561364,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636633210964,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636633243732,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636633276500,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636633309268,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636633342036,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636633374804,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636633407572,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636633440340,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636633473108,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636633505876,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-chocolate-christmas-dick-9162712.jpg?v=1763155224"},{"product_id":"let-it-snow-glitter-bomb-card","title":"Let it Snow - Glitter Bomb Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"143\" data-end=\"178\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLet It Snow - Glitter Bomb Card\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"180\" data-end=\"320\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"180\" data-end=\"318\"\u003eBecause nothing says “Merry Christmas” like blasting your friend’s living room with enough glitter to make Santa choke on his cookies.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"322\" data-end=\"754\"\u003ePicture this: they’re sitting by the fire, sipping cocoa, feeling all warm and fuzzy about the holiday season. They see your festive Christmas card and think, “Aw, how sweet!” Then they open it… BOOM. Glitter apocalypse. It’s on their clothes, in their hair, probably in the cat’s litter box for the next six months. And the best part? It’s from you, sent anonymously, so they’ll never know when the next glitter attack is coming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"756\" data-end=\"976\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to ruin someone’s vacuum cleaner while making them laugh and swear in the same breath, the Let It Snow Glitter Bomb Card is your new favorite weapon. It’s festive chaos disguised as holiday cheer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"978\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"978\" data-end=\"1076\"\u003eOrder now, send it to your “special” someone, and let their holiday spirit sparkle… literally.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1080\" data-end=\"1083\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1085\" data-end=\"1120\"\u003eWhy You Need This in Your Life\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1122\" data-end=\"1324\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1122\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1124\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003eYou hate boring holiday cards that end up in the trash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1257\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1184\" data-end=\"1257\"\u003eYou believe Christmas is the perfect time for revenge wrapped in a bow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1258\" data-end=\"1324\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1324\"\u003eYou want to create a memory they’ll never forget (or forgive).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1326\" data-end=\"1700\"\u003eThis isn’t just a funny Christmas card. It’s a tactical glitter strike. It comes loaded with chunky glitter that pours out when opened, spreading yuletide destruction across every square inch of their home. And because we’re professionals at ruining days, we ship it 100% anonymously. They’ll have no idea it was you grinning like the Grinch from behind your phone screen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1702\" data-end=\"1705\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1707\" data-end=\"1731\"\u003eThe Setup Is Simple\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1840\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1736\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003ePick your target.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1756\" data-end=\"1792\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1759\" data-end=\"1792\"\u003eSend the card directly to them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1793\" data-end=\"1840\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1796\" data-end=\"1840\"\u003eSit back and wait for the chaos to unfold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1842\" data-end=\"2101\"\u003eYou can even choose to have the card arrive \u003cstrong data-start=\"1886\" data-end=\"1899\"\u003eactivated\u003c\/strong\u003e (ready to explode on opening) or \u003cstrong data-start=\"1933\" data-end=\"1950\"\u003enon-activated\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can write your own sappy message before sealing it up for destruction. Either way, you’re giving them a holiday they’ll talk about for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2103\" data-end=\"2246\"\u003eAnd if you’re wondering just how bad this thing gets… \u003cstrong data-start=\"2157\" data-end=\"2185\"\u003ewatch it in action here:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca data-start=\"2186\" data-end=\"2244\" class=\"\" rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/vimeo.com\/242452012\"\u003ehttps:\/\/vimeo.com\/242452012\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2251\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2253\" data-end=\"2281\"\u003eReal Customer Reactions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2283\" data-end=\"2406\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2283\" data-end=\"2404\"\u003e\"I sent this to my brother last Christmas. His wife is still finding glitter in the couch cushions. Worth every penny.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2408\" data-end=\"2563\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2408\" data-end=\"2561\"\u003e\"Perfect mix of festive and evil. My best friend laughed so hard she almost spilled her eggnog… until she realized how much glitter was in her carpet.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2565\" data-end=\"2660\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2565\" data-end=\"2658\"\u003e\"This card made me the unofficial MVP of our Secret Santa exchange. 10\/10 will send again.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2662\" data-end=\"2665\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2667\" data-end=\"2687\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2689\" data-end=\"2936\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2689\" data-end=\"2767\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2691\" data-end=\"2767\"\u003eFolded Christmas card with “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2768\" data-end=\"2815\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2770\" data-end=\"2815\"\u003ePacked with chunky glitter for maximum mess\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2816\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2818\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003eOption to send activated or non-activated so you can add your own message\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2894\" data-end=\"2936\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2896\" data-end=\"2936\"\u003eShips anonymously for ultimate mystery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2938\" data-end=\"2941\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2943\" data-end=\"2957\"\u003eYour Move\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2959\" data-end=\"3121\"\u003eYou could send a boring, store-bought Christmas card… or you could send a Let It Snow Glitter Bomb Card and go down in prank history. Which one sounds more fun?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3123\" data-end=\"3208\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3123\" data-end=\"3206\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and give the gift of a glitter-filled holiday meltdown.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3123\" data-end=\"3208\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":2317550583821,"sku":null,"price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/let-it-snow-glitter-bomb-card-1803027.jpg?v=1755879233"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"Eat a Dick - Original Valentines Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch1 data-start=\"234\" data-end=\"287\"\u003eEat a Dick - Original Valentine’s Day Greeting Card\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"408\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"408\"\u003eNothing says “I love you” or “go choke on a candy cane” like a Valentine’s Day card that literally pops out a dick.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"410\" data-end=\"617\"\u003eYou’ve got two kinds of people this time of year. The ones you want to bang, and the ones you want to haunt with a permanent mental image of a cartoon cock flying out of a card. This bad boy works for both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"619\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eIt’s romantic. It’s rude. It’s the emotional equivalent of flipping someone off with a smile. Whether you're breaking hearts or breaking wind, this card gets the job done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"902\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"902\"\u003eSo stop doom-scrolling and hit that add to cart button. It’s time to mail someone a throbbing paper penis.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"904\" data-end=\"907\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"959\"\u003eWhy This Card Slaps (Literally and Emotionally)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003eValentine’s Day is a joke. Not the funny kind. The overpriced dinner, chocolate-covered capitalism kind. You know what’s actually hilarious? A 3D dick popping out of a card like it’s auditioning for Magic Mike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1174\" data-end=\"1396\"\u003eWhether you're heartbroken, horny, or just hate love, this card is the therapy you didn't know you needed. It’s catharsis with a penis. It’s petty revenge with paper engineering. It’s everything you didn’t know you wanted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1398\" data-end=\"1401\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1403\" data-end=\"1440\"\u003eReal Reviews From Unhinged Legends\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1442\" data-end=\"1493\"\u003eDon't take our word for it. The people have spoken.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1495\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1497\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e“Definitely got the wow dickfactor. The perfect gift. The gift of dicks.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1572\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1574\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003e“Great!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1584\" data-end=\"1719\"\u003eThat’s it. That’s the review. Sometimes words fail when you’ve just been emotionally smacked in the face by a Valentine’s cock grenade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1721\" data-end=\"1724\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1726\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1757\" data-end=\"1836\"\u003eYou’re not just buying a card. You’re buying chaos, closure, and comedy gold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1838\" data-end=\"2258\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1838\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003eA folded Valentine’s Day card that proudly says \u003cstrong data-start=\"1888\" data-end=\"1904\"\u003e“EAT A DICK”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1907\" data-end=\"1964\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1909\" data-end=\"1964\"\u003eA pop-up 3D penis that springs out like your ex’s ego\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1965\" data-end=\"2031\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1967\" data-end=\"2031\"\u003eMade from sturdy cardstock so it survives transit and tantrums\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2032\" data-end=\"2098\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2034\" data-end=\"2098\"\u003eBlank on the back so you can add whatever foul poetry you want\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2099\" data-end=\"2126\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2101\" data-end=\"2126\"\u003eWhite envelope included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2127\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2129\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003eShips \u003cstrong data-start=\"2135\" data-end=\"2162\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e because plausible deniability is hot\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2202\" data-end=\"2258\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2204\" data-end=\"2258\"\u003eOptional glitter add-on for maximum emotional damage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2260\" data-end=\"2329\"\u003eThis is not a Hallmark moment. This is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2301\" data-end=\"2328\"\u003eValentine’s cock cannon\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2331\" data-end=\"2334\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2336\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003eWhen to Send It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2356\" data-end=\"2381\"\u003eThis card is perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2383\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2383\" data-end=\"2429\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2385\" data-end=\"2429\"\u003eYour ex who still follows you on Instagram\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2430\" data-end=\"2485\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2432\" data-end=\"2485\"\u003eThat “just friends” person who forgot your birthday\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2486\" data-end=\"2545\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2545\"\u003eYourself, because you deserve to laugh through the pain\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2546\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2548\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003eYour best friend, who’s just as toxic as you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003eAnyone who could benefit from a little \u003cstrong data-start=\"2636\" data-end=\"2655\"\u003evalentines cock\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2659\" data-end=\"2662\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2664\" data-end=\"2679\"\u003eWhy It Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2681\" data-end=\"2832\"\u003eBecause it’s not trying to be sweet. It’s not trying to be cute. It’s trying to say “Happy Valentine’s Day” while aggressively flashing a paper dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2834\" data-end=\"2876\"\u003eThat’s bold. That’s art. That’s healing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2878\" data-end=\"3039\"\u003eYou're not sending a card. You’re sending a message. A throbbing, veiny, cardstock message. One that says, “I still care. But mostly I care that you eat a dick.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3041\" data-end=\"3044\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3063\"\u003eYour Next Move\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3065\" data-end=\"3208\"\u003eDon’t overthink it. Buy the card. Choose the glitter if you’re feeling extra spicy. We’ll ship it out, no names attached, no regrets necessary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3210\" data-end=\"3259\"\u003eClick the \u003cstrong\u003eadd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e button. Mail the dick. Become a legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":3215728345101,"sku":"","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":3215728410637,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":3215728476173,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":3215728508941,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/go-f-yourself-valentines-day-pack-3003979.jpg?v=1755878740"},{"product_id":"eat-shit-chocolate-shit-in-a-box","title":"Eat Shit - Chocolate Shit in a Box","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"263\" data-end=\"305\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"265\" data-end=\"303\"\u003eEat Shit – Chocolate Shit in a Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"368\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"366\"\u003eFinally, a sweet way to tell someone exactly how you feel.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"370\" data-end=\"437\"\u003eSome gifts say “I love you.” This one says “Eat shit.” Literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"439\" data-end=\"701\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"439\" data-end=\"477\"\u003eEat Shit – Chocolate Shit in a Box\u003c\/strong\u003e is a realistic poop-shaped piece of premium milk chocolate, delivered straight to their door in a discreet box. It’s rich. It’s creamy. It’s hilarious. And it’s the perfect edible insult for when words just aren’t enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"703\" data-end=\"900\"\u003eNo boring gift cards. No predictable candy boxes. Just one beautifully molded chocolate turd that makes your point loud and clear… before they bite into it and realize it actually tastes amazing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"902\" data-end=\"1053\"\u003eSo quit sending flowers to people who deserve better (or worse). Click \u003cstrong data-start=\"973\" data-end=\"988\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e and make their day memorable, awkward, and surprisingly sweet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1055\" data-end=\"1058\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1060\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Chocolate Turd\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1104\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1104\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1141\"\u003eIt’s the ultimate edible insult\u003c\/strong\u003e – Way funnier than a text and way tastier than actual shit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1204\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1236\"\u003eIt’s 100 percent anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e – No return address, no receipt, no way to prove it was you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1300\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1302\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1302\" data-end=\"1320\"\u003eIt’s delicious\u003c\/strong\u003e – Premium milk chocolate that’s so good, they’ll hate how much they love it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1400\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1437\"\u003eIt works for any petty occasion\u003c\/strong\u003e – Birthdays, breakups, revenge gifts, coworker roasts, or just because.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1513\" data-end=\"1516\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1518\" data-end=\"1548\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1550\" data-end=\"1735\"\u003ePicture this: They get a package. No idea what it is. They open the box slowly. Inside, sitting in the middle like the crown jewel of comedy, is a perfectly molded \u003cstrong data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1732\"\u003echocolate shit\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1737\" data-end=\"1955\"\u003eAt first, confusion. Then laughter. Then the moment where they debate whether they should actually eat it. Spoiler – they will. Because it smells like chocolate. It looks like a prank, but tastes like a luxury treat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1957\" data-end=\"2088\"\u003eAnd you? You’re somewhere else, living your best life, knowing you just dropped the funniest, pettiest gift they’ll ever receive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2090\" data-end=\"2093\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2095\" data-end=\"2145\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Went Full Savage\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2147\" data-end=\"2343\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2149\" data-end=\"2343\"\u003e“Excellent service and timing. Always love ordering from Dicks by Mail! Thank you!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2232\" data-end=\"2235\"\u003e“It was best surprise gift yet!!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2273\"\u003e“Recipient had tears from laughter and had to show everyone else!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2345\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2350\" data-end=\"2374\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2417\"\u003eOne realistic poop-shaped chocolate\u003c\/strong\u003e made with premium milk chocolate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2453\" data-end=\"2533\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2455\" data-end=\"2533\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2455\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rich, creamy, and completely safe to eat (unlike the real thing)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2534\" data-end=\"2600\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2536\" data-end=\"2600\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2536\" data-end=\"2550\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Discreet plain box with no branding or receipts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2601\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2603\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2603\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships completely anonymously for maximum prank impact\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2673\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2675\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2675\" data-end=\"2691\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Anonymous prank, revenge gift, breakup joke, birthday gag, coworker roast, adult humor gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2787\" data-end=\"2790\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2792\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eWhy This Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2831\" data-end=\"3036\"\u003eBecause “Eat Shit” is one of the most universally understood insults on Earth. It works in every language, every situation, and now – thanks to this chocolate masterpiece – in every gift-giving scenario.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3038\" data-end=\"3304\"\u003eYou can send a chocolate turd to someone you love as a joke, or to someone you “love less” as a little payback. Either way, they’ll remember it. They’ll laugh. They might even post it online, giving you the satisfaction of knowing your gift is now internet famous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3306\" data-end=\"3446\"\u003eAnd the kicker? Even if they think you’re the world’s biggest jerk, they’ll probably still eat it. Because good chocolate wins every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3448\" data-end=\"3451\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3453\" data-end=\"3490\"\u003eSend It. Own It. Laugh About It.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3492\" data-end=\"3714\"\u003eRight now, someone in your life deserves to hear the words “Eat Shit.” But instead of saying it, you could mail it – wrapped in delicious milk chocolate, sitting in a box, ready to be the funniest gift they get all year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3716\" data-end=\"3811\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3722\" data-end=\"3737\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e. Send \u003cstrong data-start=\"3744\" data-end=\"3782\"\u003eEat Shit – Chocolate Shit in a Box\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003cbr data-start=\"3783\" data-end=\"3786\"\u003eWatch the chaos unfold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3716\" data-end=\"3811\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Eat Shit","offer_id":4087999627277,"sku":"ES","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double Shits (Save 10%)","offer_id":42649698631764,"sku":"ES2","price":28.78,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple Shits (Save 20%)","offer_id":42649698664532,"sku":"ES3","price":38.37,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/the-poop-prank-bundle-6034126.jpg?v=1762196781"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-jizz-bomb","title":"Spring Loaded Jizz Bomb!","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Jizz Bomb! – Because Subtlety is Overrated\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere are pranks… and then there’s launching a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Jizz Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e into someone’s life. This bad boy explodes in a shower of tiny white jizz-shaped confetti that gets \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eeverywhere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Floors. Counters. Hair. Clothes. Maybe even in their drink if the timing’s right. It’s messy, it’s obnoxious, and it’s so wildly inappropriate that it crosses the line, flips it off, and keeps running.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you want a prank that people will still be finding evidence of \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eweeks later\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, this is it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGrab one, pick your glitter weapon of choice, and make some poor soul’s day… unforgettable.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Jizz Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLasting Impact\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – The prank doesn’t stop when the tube pops. It lingers. It follows them to the store. It ends up on their couch two months later.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaximum Embarrassment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – These aren’t random sparkles. They’re \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eshapes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. And everyone will know exactly what they look like.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTotally Anonymous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Ships with zero branding, so you can watch the chaos from a safe, smug distance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImagine this: Your target opens what they think is a boring incense tube. They pop the cap… \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePOW!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A spring launches hundreds of little white “baby batter” cutouts into the air. Some stick to their shirt. A few land in their hair. The rest scatter across their floor like a glittery crime scene.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNow picture them at the grocery store hours later, still rocking a stray jizz piece in their bangs. A stranger notices, plucks it out, and hands it to them. “You dropped this.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat’s the Spring Loaded Jizz Bomb experience. And yes – it’s glorious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Customer Reactions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“What can I say… got him real good! Jizz went all over his kitchen counters, floors etc… I wish I could share more photos! Great gag!!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “It shot all over my face and went in my mouth… poor bastard still has no idea who sent it to him.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “My best friend had these little sly devils in her hair at the grocery store after the messy office fiasco. A stranger pulled one out and handed it to her 😂😂😂 This one was by far the BEST one!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat’s Inside the Tube\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFake incense tube disguise\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Looks innocent, until it isn’t.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring-loaded chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Packed to the brim with hundreds of jizz-shaped confetti pieces.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour choice of ammo:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eJust Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDouble the Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCombo Dick \u0026amp; Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMix in Regular Glitter w\/Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMix in Golden Shower Glitter w\/Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHit 'em with the ultimate combo – Dicks \u0026amp; Jizz \u0026amp; Glitter\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eShips 100% anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – No receipts, no clues, no regrets.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It’s Better Than Any Other Glitter Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGlitter bombs are fun. But let’s be honest – plain glitter is for kids’ crafts. This is the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eadult upgrade\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. The \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Jizz Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the prank equivalent of swapping a handshake for a full-on face slap.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s why it wins:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s not just messy, it’s \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eawkwardly specific\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe shapes make the story way funnier when they have to explain it to people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt travels. You’ll find these little guys everywhere for weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBirthday gags that will be talked about for years\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBreakup revenge that says “I’m fine” while clearly not being fine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBachelor party chaos before the tequila hits\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Just because” moments when your friend is getting too comfortable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHow to Pull It Off\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStep 1 – Pick your flavor of confetti filth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Step 2 – Add to cart and ship anonymously.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Step 3 – Wait for the glorious meltdown when they open it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThen just sit back, sip your drink, and know you’ve left a little piece of yourself (figuratively) in their home forever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend It. Watch the World Burn.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLife’s too short for polite pranks. If you’re going to interrupt someone’s day, you might as well \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eblast them with a load of spring-propelled jizz confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that’ll haunt them for weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClick\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-b3dc32f0-7fff-2804-93b2-f1f354f7f45f\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e now and send the prank that’s part glitter bomb, part awkward conversation starter, and 100 percent unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Jizz","offer_id":41525677850708,"sku":"JIZZBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Jizz","offer_id":41525106245716,"sku":"DOUBLEJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dick \u0026 Jizz","offer_id":41525106212948,"sku":"DICKANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Regular Glitter w\/ Jizz","offer_id":41525106278484,"sku":"JIZZANDGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Golden Shower Glitter w\/ Jizz","offer_id":41525106311252,"sku":"JIZZANDGOLDENGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hit 'em with the ultimate combo Dicks \u0026 Jizz \u0026 Glitter","offer_id":41525106344020,"sku":"DICKJIZZANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/Spring_Loaded_Jizz_Bomb_post_nut.heic?v=1723498553"},{"product_id":"roses-are-red-fart-card","title":"Roses Are Red - Shitty Fart Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"206\" data-start=\"170\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoses Are Red - Shitty Fart Card\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"285\" data-start=\"208\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"283\" data-start=\"208\"\u003eRoses are red, violets are blue, open this card… and smell literal poo.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"685\" data-start=\"287\"\u003eThere are pranks… and then there’s sending a fart by mail so foul it could knock a raccoon out of a dumpster. The \u003cem data-end=\"435\" data-start=\"401\"\u003eRoses Are Red - Shitty Fart Card\u003c\/em\u003e isn’t subtle. It isn’t kind. It’s a full-on stink grenade disguised as a sweet little love poem. You’re not just sending a card, you’re sending a chemical-level relationship ender, an olfactory assault, a bouquet of hell straight to their mailbox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"981\" data-start=\"687\"\u003eWhether it’s for an ex, a sibling, a frenemy, or that one person who still owes you $20 from 2018, this card will get your point across without you ever having to say a word. You just sit back and wait for the angry text that says, “WTF is wrong with you?” and know in your heart… you’ve won.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1088\" data-start=\"983\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1086\" data-start=\"983\"\u003eSend this today. Let your victim gag, curse your name, and then admit it was actually pretty funny.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1093\" data-start=\"1090\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1129\" data-start=\"1095\"\u003eWhy This Is The Perfect Prank\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1374\" data-start=\"1131\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1200\" data-start=\"1131\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1200\" data-start=\"1133\"\u003eIt’s \u003cstrong data-end=\"1151\" data-start=\"1138\"\u003eanonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can remain the mysterious stink dealer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1259\" data-start=\"1201\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1259\" data-start=\"1203\"\u003eThe smell? Horrifying. Like gym socks left in a swamp.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1340\" data-start=\"1260\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1340\" data-start=\"1262\"\u003eWorks for birthdays, breakups, revenge, or just to ruin someone’s afternoon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1374\" data-start=\"1341\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1374\" data-start=\"1343\"\u003eThey can’t un-smell it. Ever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1376\"\u003eThis isn’t some weak “haha” greeting card. This is a fart spray card that releases a cloud of weaponized nastiness the second it’s opened. They’ll think it’s a joke… until the smell hits. Then they’ll realize it’s not a joke. It’s war.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1618\" data-start=\"1615\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1637\" data-start=\"1620\"\u003eHow It Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"1845\" data-start=\"1639\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1654\" data-start=\"1639\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1654\" data-start=\"1642\"\u003eYou order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1733\" data-start=\"1655\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1733\" data-start=\"1658\"\u003eWe stuff the card with potent fart spray that smells like Satan’s armpit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1783\" data-start=\"1734\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1783\" data-start=\"1737\"\u003eWe mail it anonymously to your lucky target.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1845\" data-start=\"1784\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1845\" data-start=\"1787\"\u003eThey open it, the stink bomb goes off, and chaos ensues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1944\" data-start=\"1847\"\u003eNo return address. No way to trace it. Just you, sitting on your couch, laughing like a maniac.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1949\" data-start=\"1946\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1977\" data-start=\"1951\"\u003eReal Customer Carnage\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2035\" data-start=\"1979\"\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"2033\" data-start=\"1979\"\u003e\"Sent anonymously and everything I expected. Thank.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2150\" data-start=\"2037\"\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"2148\" data-start=\"2037\"\u003e\"I mailed this wonderful card to my ex boyfriend and he has finally left me alone. It was worth every penny.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2284\" data-start=\"2152\"\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"2282\" data-start=\"2152\"\u003e\"My sister never saw it coming, I practically shit in her face and now she tells everyone that she has the best brother ever ;)\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2289\" data-start=\"2286\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2311\" data-start=\"2291\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2514\" data-start=\"2313\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2355\" data-start=\"2313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2355\" data-start=\"2315\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inch double-sided cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2413\" data-start=\"2356\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2413\" data-start=\"2358\"\u003eRigged with potent fart spray for maximum stink power\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2440\" data-start=\"2414\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2440\" data-start=\"2416\"\u003eShips 100% anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2514\" data-start=\"2441\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2514\" data-start=\"2443\"\u003ePerfect for breakups, sibling wars, petty revenge, or birthday laughs\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2519\" data-start=\"2516\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2535\" data-start=\"2521\"\u003eYour Move\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2655\" data-start=\"2537\"\u003eYou could send a boring “Thinking of You” card… or you could send a fart card that smells like the end of the world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2681\" data-start=\"2657\"\u003eThe choice is obvious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2749\" data-start=\"2683\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2747\" data-start=\"2683\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and drop the stink bomb of the year.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2749\" data-start=\"2683\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":8435057426487,"sku":"","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/roses-are-red-shitty-fart-card-9465938.png?v=1755879234"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-white-chocolate-dick","title":"Eat a Dick - Valentine's White Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003cp\u003eRoses are so 2000. Chocolate is in......even better, a gross flesh colored chocolate dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis \u003cstrong\u003eWhite Chocolate Flesh Colored Dick in a box is perfect\u003c\/strong\u003e for a special occasion or just a friendly reminder to eat a dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade with white chocolate and orange coloring to create a flesh colored dong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003eGluten Free, nut free (no pun intended), and made from Peruvian cacao beans, these four ounce chocolates are perfect for your next practical joke, gag gift, or adult party. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003eThese delicious chocolate dicks run between 4-5 inches and 3-4 ounces of wonderful chocolate penis in your mouth. . Hmmm\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":12598433579063,"sku":"BW","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-dick-valentines-white-chocolate-dick-9272695.jpg?v=1755879235"},{"product_id":"the-classic-glitter-bomb-1","title":"The Classic Envolpe Glitter Bomb!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"110\" data-end=\"191\"\u003eThe Classic Envelope Glitter Bomb - The Pettiest Revenge You’ll Ever Love\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"193\" data-end=\"439\"\u003eYou know that person who just \u003cem data-start=\"223\" data-end=\"230\"\u003eneeds\u003c\/em\u003e a little chaos in their life? The one who’s overdue for a “surprise” that will stick with them for weeks? Well, congratulations, you’ve just found the perfect weapon - \u003cstrong data-start=\"399\" data-end=\"437\"\u003eThe Classic Envelope Glitter Bomb.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"441\" data-end=\"766\"\u003eIt’s simple. It’s petty. It’s \u003cem data-start=\"471\" data-end=\"479\"\u003ebrutal\u003c\/em\u003e. One second, your target is happily opening their mail. The next, they’re knee-deep in sparkling regret, cursing your name (but never actually knowing it was you). And the best part? You get to enjoy the fallout from a safe distance with zero cleanup and a big ol’ smile on your face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"768\" data-end=\"857\"\u003e🎯 \u003cstrong data-start=\"771\" data-end=\"855\"\u003eOrder now and become the legend who glitter-bombed their way into prank history.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"859\" data-end=\"862\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"864\" data-end=\"909\"\u003eWhy This is the King of All Petty Pranks\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"1036\"\u003eLook, anyone can send a mean text or unfollow someone. But that’s boring. Weak. Forgettable. A \u003cstrong data-start=\"1006\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003eglitter bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1038\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003eWhen they open that innocent-looking envelope, a glorious explosion of fine, clingy glitter rains down on their clothes, their carpet, their pets, maybe even their coffee. It sticks to everything. It’s basically herpes, but for arts and crafts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1441\"\u003eAnd because this ships 100% anonymously, you can just sit back and imagine the mess - knowing they’ll still be finding tiny sparkles six months from now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1443\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1448\" data-end=\"1472\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1474\" data-end=\"1888\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1474\" data-end=\"1559\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1476\" data-end=\"1559\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1476\" data-end=\"1499\"\u003eA standard envelope\u003c\/strong\u003e - harmless-looking, like it could be a card from Grandma.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1560\" data-end=\"1660\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1562\" data-end=\"1660\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1562\" data-end=\"1589\"\u003eA metric ton of glitter\u003c\/strong\u003e - okay, not \u003cem data-start=\"1602\" data-end=\"1613\"\u003eliterally\u003c\/em\u003e a ton, but enough to coat their living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1661\" data-end=\"1730\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1663\" data-end=\"1730\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1663\" data-end=\"1681\"\u003eA printed note\u003c\/strong\u003e letting them know they’ve been glitter bombed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1731\" data-end=\"1830\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1830\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1754\"\u003eOptional upgrades\u003c\/strong\u003e like dick confetti or even a bag of dicks for the overachievers among us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1831\" data-end=\"1888\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1833\" data-end=\"1888\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1833\" data-end=\"1855\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - so you can deny, deny, deny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1890\" data-end=\"1893\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1895\" data-end=\"1924\"\u003eReal Stories, Real Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1926\" data-end=\"1984\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1928\" data-end=\"1984\"\u003e“Absolutely the best prank! Great BANG for your buck!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1986\" data-end=\"2175\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1988\" data-end=\"2175\"\u003e“I sent this to a friend a couple days before his wedding. The day it got delivered he texted me a photo of the mess asking if this was me. It was hard not to take credit for the mess.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2177\" data-end=\"2308\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2179\" data-end=\"2308\"\u003e“These are always hilarious, just wish HR would learn it's rude to open other people's mail so it reaches its intended target.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2310\" data-end=\"2379\"\u003ePeople don’t just \u003cem data-start=\"2328\" data-end=\"2337\"\u003ereceive\u003c\/em\u003e glitter bombs - they \u003cem data-start=\"2359\" data-end=\"2371\"\u003eexperience\u003c\/em\u003e them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2381\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2386\" data-end=\"2403\"\u003ePerfect for…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2405\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2405\" data-end=\"2461\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2407\" data-end=\"2461\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2407\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e - keep ‘em guessing for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2462\" data-end=\"2547\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2464\" data-end=\"2547\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2464\" data-end=\"2481\"\u003ePetty revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e - because blocking them on Instagram just doesn’t hit the same.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2548\" data-end=\"2605\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2550\" data-end=\"2605\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2550\" data-end=\"2568\"\u003eBirthday jokes\u003c\/strong\u003e - the gift that keeps on shedding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2606\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2608\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2608\" data-end=\"2641\"\u003eBachelor\/Bachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e - nothing says “Congrats” like glitter in your beer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2697\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2699\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2699\" data-end=\"2727\"\u003eWhite elephant exchanges\u003c\/strong\u003e - watch your coworkers live in sparkly regret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2778\" data-end=\"2781\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2783\" data-end=\"2831\"\u003eHow to Pull Off the Ultimate Glitter Ambush\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2833\" data-end=\"3133\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2833\" data-end=\"2914\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2836\" data-end=\"2914\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2836\" data-end=\"2856\"\u003ePick your victim\u003c\/strong\u003e - friend, ex, sibling, that guy who still owes you $20.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2915\" data-end=\"3000\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2918\" data-end=\"3000\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2918\" data-end=\"2942\"\u003eChoose your upgrades\u003c\/strong\u003e - go classic glitter or crank it up with dick confetti.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3001\" data-end=\"3057\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3004\" data-end=\"3057\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3004\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003ePlace your order\u003c\/strong\u003e - takes less than two minutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3058\" data-end=\"3133\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3061\" data-end=\"3133\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3061\" data-end=\"3082\"\u003eSit back and wait\u003c\/strong\u003e - your masterpiece of mischief is now in motion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3135\" data-end=\"3138\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3140\" data-end=\"3177\"\u003eWhy This Beats Every Other Prank\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3179\" data-end=\"3382\"\u003eUnlike a pie to the face or a prank call, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3225\" data-end=\"3258\"\u003eClassic Envelope Glitter Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e is sneaky. It’s patient. It lulls your target into a false sense of security and then delivers an \u003cem data-start=\"3357\" data-end=\"3372\"\u003eunforgettable\u003c\/em\u003e payoff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3384\" data-end=\"3639\"\u003ePlus, glitter has this supernatural ability to stick to everything. They’ll find it on their shoes at work, in their laundry weeks later, and somehow inside their phone case. You’re not just pulling a prank - you’re creating a long-term sparkle problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3641\" data-end=\"3644\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3646\" data-end=\"3670\"\u003eFinal Word: Send It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3672\" data-end=\"3951\"\u003eHere’s the deal - petty is an art, and the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3715\" data-end=\"3748\"\u003eClassic Envelope Glitter Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e is the Mona Lisa of mail-based mayhem. It’s affordable, fast, and ridiculously effective. And with completely anonymous shipping, you can prank without a single shred of evidence pointing back to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3953\" data-end=\"4074\"\u003e✨ \u003cstrong data-start=\"3955\" data-end=\"3988\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” right now\u003c\/strong\u003e and deliver the kind of glittery chaos your friends (or enemies) will never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Standard Glitter Bomb \/ ----","offer_id":12633786941495,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Glitter \/ ----","offer_id":12633786974263,"sku":"DOUBLEGB","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Glitter Bomb \/ Bag of Dicks","offer_id":29346429468756,"sku":"GBBOD","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Glitter \/ Bag of Dicks","offer_id":29346440806484,"sku":"DOUBLEGBBOD","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Glitter Bomb \/ Dick Confetti","offer_id":29346467643476,"sku":"GBDICKS","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Glitter \/ Dick Confetti","offer_id":29346471379028,"sku":"DOUBLEGBDICKS","price":1499.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/the-classic-envolpe-glitter-bomb-5132237.jpg?v=1755879205"},{"product_id":"valentines-day-card-love-of-my-life","title":"Love of My Life Pop Up Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] @[37rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] @[72rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:32rem] @[34rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @[64rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"24bd1e38-4c66-4660-874c-ac49bf7f1f5f\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-5\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[3px]\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003eThe Valentine’s Day Card That Says “I Love You”… and Then Tells Them to Eat a Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"327\" data-end=\"731\"\u003eForget flowers, chocolates, and all that mushy Hallmark garbage. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"396\" data-end=\"427\"\u003eLove of My Life Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is the most brutally honest, laugh-out-loud, slightly offensive way to say “I care” without actually being romantic. On the outside, it looks like a sweet Valentine’s Day greeting card. On the inside? Boom, a glorious 3D pop-up penis springs to life along with the heartfelt message: \u003cstrong data-start=\"712\" data-end=\"729\"\u003e“EAT A DICK.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"733\" data-end=\"966\"\u003eThis isn’t just a card. This is a statement. A bold, ballsy, unforgettable way to make your partner, ex, or even your best friend howl with laughter. And because it ships 100 percent anonymously, you can keep them guessing forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"968\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"968\" data-end=\"993\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and give someone the most memorable Valentine’s Day surprise of their life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1076\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003eWhy This Card Is the Only One Worth Buying\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1308\"\u003eEvery other Valentine’s card is just boring. You buy it, they open it, they smile politely, and it ends up in the trash two days later. But this card? This card is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1305\"\u003ethe moment\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1310\" data-end=\"1613\"\u003eWhether you’re pulling off the ultimate romantic prank or delivering a breakup burn they will never forget, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1422\" data-end=\"1453\"\u003eLove of My Life Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e nails the balance between sweet and savage. Pair it with optional add-ons like a bag of dicks, dick confetti, or glitter for an even more explosive surprise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1615\" data-end=\"1618\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1620\" data-end=\"1654\"\u003eA True Story of Pop-Up Glory\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1655\" data-end=\"1980\"\u003ePicture this. It’s Valentine’s morning. Your partner opens the envelope, expecting some mushy love poem. The card unfolds, and there it is, a full-on, unapologetic pop-up penis in all its 3D glory. They laugh so hard they can’t breathe. You just secured your spot in the Hall of Fame for funniest Valentine’s Day gift ever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1982\" data-end=\"2010\"\u003eDon’t take my word for it:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2011\" data-end=\"2131\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2011\" data-end=\"2056\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2013\" data-end=\"2056\"\u003e“This really brought out a great laugh!!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2057\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2059\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e“My favorite gift lol”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2131\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2131\"\u003e“This was a shocking hit... They loved it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2133\" data-end=\"2136\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2138\" data-end=\"2160\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2161\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2161\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2163\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003eFolded Valentine’s Day greeting card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2202\" data-end=\"2261\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2204\" data-end=\"2261\"\u003e3D pop-up penis with bold \u003cstrong data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2244\"\u003eEAT A DICK\u003c\/strong\u003e message inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2262\" data-end=\"2295\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2264\" data-end=\"2295\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2298\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003eOptional add-ons: bag of dicks, dick confetti, glitter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2355\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2357\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003ePerfect for Valentine’s Day prank, romantic gag gift, Galentine’s joke, breakup revenge, cheeky celebration\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2468\" data-end=\"2471\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2473\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003eHow to Use It for Maximum Laughs\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2512\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2512\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003eSlip it into a pile of serious gifts so it is the last thing they expect\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2589\" data-end=\"2662\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2591\" data-end=\"2662\"\u003eHand-deliver it with a straight face and act confused when they react\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2665\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003eSend it anonymously to keep them guessing for years\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2719\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2721\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003ePair it with chocolate or flowers for the perfect “sweet but savage” combo\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2799\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2826\"\u003eThe Secret Sauce\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2827\" data-end=\"3112\"\u003eThe genius of this card is in the \u003cstrong data-start=\"2861\" data-end=\"2880\"\u003esurprise factor\u003c\/strong\u003e. The outside says “romance.” The inside says “eat a dick.” And the pop-up makes sure they cannot miss the point. It is a physical joke they will remember forever, which is more than you can say about a teddy bear holding a heart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3114\" data-end=\"3117\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3119\" data-end=\"3136\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3137\" data-end=\"3409\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3141\" data-end=\"3172\"\u003eLove of My Life Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the bold, the mischievous, and the people who think romance and laughter should come in equal doses. Whether you are celebrating love, mocking it, or just trying to make your friends cry-laugh, this card is the ultimate weapon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3411\" data-end=\"3525\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3411\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send the funniest, most inappropriate Valentine’s Day card they will ever receive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3395\" data-end=\"3507\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":21488978002004,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":21488978067540,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":21488978133076,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":21488978165844,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/love-of-my-life-pop-up-card-6888878.png?v=1755879205"},{"product_id":"the-chocolate-dick-bag-of-dicks-combo","title":"The Chocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo!","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDouble the dicks. Double the laughs. Double the deliciously inappropriate chaos.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"662\" data-start=\"379\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to send the perfect “I adore you but also go eat a dick” gift, you’ve just found it. \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(255, 42, 0);\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-end=\"529\" data-start=\"490\"\u003eChocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e is the ultimate edible prank package – a classy-meets-crass masterpiece that delivers both shock value and snack value in one box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"935\" data-start=\"664\"\u003eInside, you’ll find a hefty 5 inch, 4 ounce \u003cstrong data-end=\"733\" data-start=\"708\"\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao, paired with a bag of fruity, chewy gummy dicks. It’s basically the fine wine and cheese board of inappropriate gifts… only much funnier and way less pretentious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1176\" data-start=\"937\"\u003eIt ships 100 percent anonymously in a plain, discreet box, so you can unleash your edible chaos without ever getting caught. Perfect for birthdays, white elephant exchanges, breakups, office parties, or the sweet, sweet taste of revenge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1258\" data-start=\"1178\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-end=\"1199\" data-start=\"1184\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e right now. Send the combo. Sit back. Wait for the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1263\" data-start=\"1260\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1309\" data-start=\"1265\"\u003eWhy This Combo is the King of Gag Gifts\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1311\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1311\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1313\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1335\" data-start=\"1313\"\u003eDouble the trouble\u003c\/strong\u003e – One big chocolate cock plus a whole bag of gummy dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1522\" data-start=\"1396\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1522\" data-start=\"1398\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1416\" data-start=\"1398\"\u003eActually tasty\u003c\/strong\u003e – Gourmet chocolate that melts in your mouth and fruity gummies that don’t taste like cheap joke candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1523\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1525\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1549\" data-start=\"1525\"\u003eCompletely anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e – No sender info, no receipt, no way to trace it back to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1614\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1616\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1658\" data-start=\"1616\"\u003ePerfect for any inappropriate occasion\u003c\/strong\u003e – From birthday gag gifts to revenge pranks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1710\" data-start=\"1707\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1742\" data-start=\"1712\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1932\" data-start=\"1744\"\u003ePicture this. They open the box, expecting socks or maybe a boring gift card. Instead – boom – a \u003cstrong data-end=\"1879\" data-start=\"1841\"\u003eperfectly sculpted chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e staring them down like it knows all their secrets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2157\" data-start=\"1934\"\u003eThen, just when they think they’ve seen it all, they find the bag of gummy dicks. Bright, colorful, and unapologetically phallic. Now it’s laughter, blushing, maybe a few phone pics that hit the group chat within seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2337\" data-start=\"2159\"\u003eThey either eat it right away or display it on the counter like a weird edible trophy. Either way, they’ll never forget the moment they got your chocolate and candy dick combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2342\" data-start=\"2339\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2385\" data-start=\"2344\"\u003eReal Reviews from Real Prank Legends\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2721\" data-start=\"2387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2721\" data-start=\"2389\"\u003e“I ordered this for Father’s Day as a joke to my ex. He thought it was absolutely hilarious and said the candy was great quality. Lol. He said to rate this 5 stars.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2557\" data-start=\"2554\"\u003e“It’s was delicious and solid… The chocolate was so rich I couldn’t stop eating it.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2646\" data-start=\"2643\"\u003e“Perfect for white elephant holiday gift. Gummies were actually tasty!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2726\" data-start=\"2723\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2752\" data-start=\"2728\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"2754\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2840\" data-start=\"2754\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2840\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2801\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003eOne 5 inch, 4 ounce solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2898\" data-start=\"2841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2898\" data-start=\"2843\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2869\" data-start=\"2843\"\u003eOne bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e in multiple fruity flavors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2956\" data-start=\"2899\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2956\" data-start=\"2901\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2913\" data-start=\"2901\"\u003eFlavors:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rich chocolate, plus sweet chewy gummies\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3022\" data-start=\"2957\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3022\" data-start=\"2959\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2973\" data-start=\"2959\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Discreet plain box with no branding or receipt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3070\" data-start=\"3023\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3070\" data-start=\"3025\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3038\" data-start=\"3025\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"3071\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3089\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday gag gift, anonymous prank, white elephant gift, breakup joke, office party surprise, edible revenge gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3210\" data-start=\"3207\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3247\" data-start=\"3212\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3506\" data-start=\"3249\"\u003eBecause it’s not just one joke gift – it’s two. They get the big chocolate shock factor, and then the gummy follow-up that keeps the laughter going. Even people who act fake-offended will sneak a taste, because good chocolate and gummies are irresistible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3719\" data-start=\"3508\"\u003ePlus, it’s the kind of gift that gets talked about for weeks. It pops up in group chats. It gets a mention in awkward family conversations. It might even make someone think twice before messing with you again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3724\" data-start=\"3721\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3763\" data-start=\"3726\"\u003eSend the Combo. Make the Memory.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3936\" data-start=\"3765\"\u003eThis isn’t the time for half measures. Don’t just send a bag of dicks. Don’t just send a chocolate penis. Send both in one glorious, edible, unforgettable prank package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"4042\" data-start=\"3938\"\u003eHit \u003cstrong data-end=\"3957\" data-start=\"3942\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now. Be the reason someone says, “You won’t believe what I got in the mail today.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21880891670612,"sku":"","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-chocolate-dick-bag-of-dicks-combo-3219535.jpg?v=1755879211"},{"product_id":"mothers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card","title":"Mother's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"333\"\u003eMother’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"694\"\u003eHappy Mother’s Day? Not this year. This year you’re sending the most savage card on the internet: the \u003cstrong data-start=\"437\" data-end=\"476\"\u003eMother’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e. Forget the flowers, screw the chocolates, and toss out the sappy Hallmark crap. This card starts sweet… then rips the rug out and hits the reader right in the gut with the punchline: \u003cstrong data-start=\"661\" data-end=\"692\"\u003e“Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"936\"\u003eThis is not your grandma’s card. This is the \u003cstrong data-start=\"741\" data-end=\"773\"\u003ehappy Mother’s Day dick card\u003c\/strong\u003e that doubles as a middle finger in cardstock form. It’s the perfect weapon for pranks, revenge, or just proving you’re funnier than everyone else in the family.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"938\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"938\" data-end=\"957\"\u003eAdd to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and prepare for the most brutal Mother’s Day laugh in history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1027\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1029\" data-end=\"1066\"\u003eWhy You Actually Need This Card\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1294\"\u003eBecause sometimes “Happy Mother’s Day” isn’t enough. Sometimes you want to send something more… memorable. Something that doesn’t get shoved in a drawer and forgotten. This is the card that will have people talking for weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003eMaybe you’ve got a twisted sense of humor. Maybe you’ve got some petty revenge cooking. Or maybe you just think a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1410\" data-end=\"1437\"\u003eMother’s Day penis card\u003c\/strong\u003e is the greatest invention since brunch mimosas. Whatever the reason, this dick pop up card does the job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1546\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1551\" data-end=\"1581\"\u003eA Story You’ll Relate To\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1582\" data-end=\"1785\"\u003eOne customer said: \u003cem data-start=\"1601\" data-end=\"1706\"\u003e“This was to my boss, me and her are super close and I knew this would be a good laugh for both of us!”\u003c\/em\u003e That’s the power of this card. Instant chaos, instant laugh, instant memory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1953\"\u003eAnother customer went savage mode: \u003cem data-start=\"1822\" data-end=\"1926\"\u003e“She absolutely hated it but she cheated on me so I think it was perfectly executed. Would use again.”\u003c\/em\u003e Brutal. Cold. Legendary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1955\" data-end=\"2152\"\u003eAnd then there’s the delivery experience: \u003cem data-start=\"1997\" data-end=\"2076\"\u003e“Delivered on time and anonymously to put that ‘smile’ on someone’s face 😁.”\u003c\/em\u003e Because yes, it ships 100 percent anonymous, which makes it even juicier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2154\" data-end=\"2157\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2159\" data-end=\"2184\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2185\" data-end=\"2587\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2185\" data-end=\"2267\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2187\" data-end=\"2267\"\u003eA folded \u003cstrong data-start=\"2196\" data-end=\"2220\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inch card\u003c\/strong\u003e that looks sweet and innocent on the outside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2268\" data-end=\"2365\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2365\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2292\"\u003eHappy Mother’s Day\u003c\/strong\u003e on the front, with the hidden “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick” reveal inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2366\" data-end=\"2438\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2368\" data-end=\"2438\"\u003eMade with premium \u003cstrong data-start=\"2386\" data-end=\"2418\"\u003e14 pt double-sided cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e so it feels legit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2439\" data-end=\"2513\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2441\" data-end=\"2513\"\u003ePackaged in cellophane with a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2471\" data-end=\"2489\"\u003ewhite envelope\u003c\/strong\u003e so it’s ready to send\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2587\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2516\" data-end=\"2587\"\u003eShips discreetly and \u003cstrong data-start=\"2537\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003eanonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can keep your secret safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2589\" data-end=\"2592\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2594\" data-end=\"2611\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2612\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2612\" data-end=\"2670\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2614\" data-end=\"2670\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2616\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003eMother’s Day prank\u003c\/strong\u003e when love and sarcasm collide\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2671\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2673\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2673\" data-end=\"2694\"\u003eAnonymous revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e that hits harder than a bad tattoo\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2732\" data-end=\"2801\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2734\" data-end=\"2801\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2736\" data-end=\"2752\"\u003ebreakup joke\u003c\/strong\u003e that says everything you wish you could scream\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"2863\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2863\"\u003eAn \u003cstrong data-start=\"2807\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eadult novelty card\u003c\/strong\u003e that doubles as a story starter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2864\" data-end=\"2916\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2866\" data-end=\"2916\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2868\" data-end=\"2886\"\u003epetty surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e for anyone who deserves one\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2917\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2919\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2921\" data-end=\"2950\"\u003eMother’s Day dickpop card\u003c\/strong\u003e that will be remembered forever\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"2989\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2991\" data-end=\"3027\"\u003eCustomer Reviews That Prove It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3028\" data-end=\"3318\"\u003e“This was to my boss, me and her are super close and I knew this would be a good laugh for both of us!”\u003cbr data-start=\"3131\" data-end=\"3134\"\u003e“She absolutely hated it but she cheated on me so I think it was perfectly executed. Would use again.”\u003cbr data-start=\"3236\" data-end=\"3239\"\u003e“Delivered on time and anonymously to put that ‘smile’ on someone’s face 😁.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3320\" data-end=\"3323\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3325\" data-end=\"3371\"\u003eWhy This Card Slaps Harder Than the Rest\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3372\" data-end=\"3621\"\u003eTraditional Mother’s Day cards are lame. They all say the same crap: “You’re the best mom in the world,” or “Thanks for everything.” Snooze fest. This one fakes sincerity and then absolutely destroys expectations with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3594\" data-end=\"3619\"\u003eeat a dick punchline.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3623\" data-end=\"3837\"\u003eIt’s funny. It’s shocking. And it’s the type of prank that creates a moment instead of just filling an envelope. That’s why people keep coming back for more. Because once you pull this off, nothing else compares.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3839\" data-end=\"3842\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3844\" data-end=\"3861\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3862\" data-end=\"4111\"\u003eIf you want to give a boring “I love you mom” card, hit up Target. But if you want to unleash a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3958\" data-end=\"3985\"\u003eMother’s Day prank card\u003c\/strong\u003e that doubles as a savage joke and a legendary memory, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"4044\" data-end=\"4083\"\u003eMother’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is your weapon of choice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4113\" data-end=\"4202\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4113\" data-end=\"4138\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send a Mother’s Day message that no one will ever forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4113\" data-end=\"4202\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":28058708082772,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":28058708148308,"sku":"","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":28058708213844,"sku":"","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":28058708246612,"sku":"","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/mothers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card-7137373.png?v=1755879207"},{"product_id":"fathers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card","title":"Father's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"174\" data-end=\"214\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFather’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"216\" data-end=\"351\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"216\" data-end=\"349\"\u003eThis Father’s Day, forget the socks, ties, and boring mugs. Give Dad the one thing he’s not expecting - a heartfelt “Eat a Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"353\" data-end=\"762\"\u003eSeriously, why waste your money on a generic card that’s going straight in a drawer? This is the card that makes people choke on their coffee, spit out their beer, and laugh until they cry. It starts off all sweet - “Happy Father’s Day” in a nice, innocent font. He opens it up, probably expecting some sappy “Thanks for everything, Dad” crap. Nope. Big, bold, and beautiful: \u003cstrong data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"760\"\u003e“Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"764\" data-end=\"940\"\u003eIt’s not just a card. It’s a Father’s Day experience. A rollercoaster of emotions in 3 seconds flat. And because we’re all about pranks done right, it ships 100% anonymously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"942\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"942\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now and make Dad’s Father’s Day one for the history books.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1026\" data-end=\"1029\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1031\" data-end=\"1088\"\u003eWhy This Card Crushes Every Other Father’s Day Gift\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1089\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003eLet’s be honest. Father’s Day gifts have been phoned in for decades. Golf tees, grilling tools, and those weird “Best Dad” beer koozies that end up in a garage drawer. This card breaks the cycle. It’s:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1294\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1294\" data-end=\"1342\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1342\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1311\"\u003eUnexpected:\u003c\/strong\u003e Starts sincere, ends savage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1343\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1345\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1345\" data-end=\"1369\"\u003eInstantly memorable:\u003c\/strong\u003e He’ll never forget the year you told him to eat a dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1428\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003eEffortless:\u003c\/strong\u003e No shopping mall nightmare. Just click, ship, and wait for the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1519\" data-end=\"1662\"\u003eAnd if your relationship with Dad is full of roasts, jabs, and inappropriate humor - this card is basically your love language in paper form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1664\" data-end=\"1667\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1669\" data-end=\"1702\"\u003eThe Scene: How It Plays Out\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1703\" data-end=\"1944\"\u003ePicture it. You hand Dad his Father’s Day card. Maybe you even throw in a gift bag with a 6-pack or a bottle of whiskey so he’s extra relaxed. He smiles, reads “Happy Father’s Day,” and probably starts thanking you before he even opens it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2133\"\u003eThen - bam. “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1985\" data-end=\"1988\"\u003eThe room explodes. You’re laughing. He’s laughing. Mom’s rolling her eyes but trying not to laugh too. And that’s it - you’ve won Father’s Day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2135\" data-end=\"2138\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2140\" data-end=\"2161\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2162\" data-end=\"2556\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2162\" data-end=\"2213\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2164\" data-end=\"2213\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2164\" data-end=\"2173\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.25 x 5.50 inch folded greeting card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2214\" data-end=\"2249\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2216\" data-end=\"2249\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2216\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Happy Father’s Day”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2250\" data-end=\"2306\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2252\" data-end=\"2306\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2252\" data-end=\"2263\"\u003eInside:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick” in bold print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2361\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2309\" data-end=\"2361\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2309\" data-end=\"2322\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium double-sided 14 pt cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2362\" data-end=\"2421\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2364\" data-end=\"2421\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2364\" data-end=\"2378\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cellophane wrapped with a white envelope\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2422\" data-end=\"2463\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2463\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2437\"\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% anonymous delivery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2464\" data-end=\"2556\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2466\" data-end=\"2556\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2466\" data-end=\"2480\"\u003eOccasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Father’s Day prank, gag gift for Dad, family roast, novelty greeting card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2558\" data-end=\"2561\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2599\"\u003eWhat Real Customers Are Saying\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2600\" data-end=\"2784\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2600\" data-end=\"2712\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2602\" data-end=\"2712\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2602\" data-end=\"2710\"\u003e“It was hilarious to see his reaction. I'd definitely be back to buy some more stuff. My friend loved it!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2713\" data-end=\"2784\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2715\" data-end=\"2784\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2715\" data-end=\"2782\"\u003e“Delivered as promised. It was the perfect gag for Father’s Day.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2786\" data-end=\"2789\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2791\" data-end=\"2823\"\u003eHow to Make it Even Better\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2824\" data-end=\"3033\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2824\" data-end=\"2925\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2826\" data-end=\"2925\"\u003ePair it with one of our edible pranks like \u003cstrong data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2891\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong data-start=\"2895\" data-end=\"2922\"\u003eCheeky Chocolate Treats\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2926\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2928\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003eAdd it to a gift basket so it’s even more unexpected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2984\" data-end=\"3033\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"3033\"\u003eMail it anonymously for maximum “WTF” factor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3035\" data-end=\"3038\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3040\" data-end=\"3214\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3040\" data-end=\"3056\"\u003eBottom line:\u003c\/strong\u003e This isn’t just another Father’s Day card. It’s the kind of gift that makes family memories - the kind you can’t post on Facebook without getting reported.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3216\" data-end=\"3312\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3216\" data-end=\"3310\"\u003eSo stop being basic. Click Add to Cart and give Dad the only card he’ll actually remember.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3216\" data-end=\"3312\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":28140133744724,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":28140133810260,"sku":"","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":28140133875796,"sku":"","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":28140133908564,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/fathers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card-1871380.jpg?v=1755879206"},{"product_id":"suction-willies-prank","title":"Suction Willies!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"113\" data-end=\"170\"\u003eSuction Willies - Stick These Tiny Dicks Anywhere\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"172\" data-end=\"419\"\u003eSometimes life gives you lemons. Other times, it gives you the chance to stick a glow-in-the-dark dick to your friend’s car mirror and watch them discover it three hours later in the Starbucks drive-thru. \u003cstrong data-start=\"377\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eThat’s the magic of Suction Willies.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"421\" data-end=\"829\"\u003eThese bad boys come in a pack of three mini suction cup dicks, ready to stick to windows, doors, bathroom mirrors, laptops, car windshields, or, if you’ve got the guts, right on someone’s forehead. They’re available in multiple colors (including glow-in-the-dark for that late-night “WTF is that?!” reveal), and they ship in discreet packaging so no one knows you’re the diabolical genius behind the prank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"929\"\u003eLife’s too short for boring jokes. Upgrade your prank game. Upgrade it with \u003cstrong data-start=\"907\" data-end=\"927\"\u003eSuction Willies.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"931\" data-end=\"1016\"\u003e👉 \u003cstrong data-start=\"934\" data-end=\"1014\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now before someone else sticks a dick on your stuff first.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1018\" data-end=\"1021\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1023\" data-end=\"1069\"\u003eWhy You Need Suction Willies in Your Life\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1071\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1071\" data-end=\"1151\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1151\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003eMultiple colors\u003c\/strong\u003e including glow-in-the-dark - because why limit yourself?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1152\" data-end=\"1200\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1154\" data-end=\"1200\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1154\" data-end=\"1166\"\u003eReusable\u003c\/strong\u003e - stick, laugh, remove, repeat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1201\" data-end=\"1297\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1203\" data-end=\"1297\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1203\" data-end=\"1220\"\u003eFits anywhere\u003c\/strong\u003e - windows, mirrors, computer screens, even the back of your buddy’s phone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1298\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1300\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1300\" data-end=\"1321\"\u003eShips anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - no one will ever suspect you… unless you can’t stop giggling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1389\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003eThese aren’t your run-of-the-mill cheap pranks. These are the kind of dick jokes that people will still be laughing about weeks later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1530\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1532\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003eReal-Life Reactions That Prove It Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1578\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003eOne customer wrote:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1600\" data-end=\"1777\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1602\" data-end=\"1777\"\u003e“It was great, stuck it a glow in the dark stickie Dickie to a buddies license plate and he drove an hour home and back the next day before seeing it in his reverse camera.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1779\" data-end=\"1798\"\u003eAnother fan said:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1799\" data-end=\"1892\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1801\" data-end=\"1892\"\u003e“Great prank. Tons of laughs. This is my daughter after she found it on her side mirror.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1894\" data-end=\"1934\"\u003eAnd the ultimate office prank success:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1935\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003e“I love them! I bought one in every color. Everyone is getting an incredible laugh. I’ve stuck them all over my job and all the recipients have cried with laughter.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2106\" data-end=\"2185\"\u003eThis is proof that sticking a tiny penis to something is \u003cem data-start=\"2163\" data-end=\"2183\"\u003euniversally funny.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2187\" data-end=\"2190\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2192\" data-end=\"2247\"\u003eThe Many Beautiful Uses of a Mini Suction Cup Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2249\" data-end=\"2579\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2249\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2251\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2251\" data-end=\"2264\"\u003eCar prank\u003c\/strong\u003e - slap one on a side mirror and wait for the discovery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2373\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2324\" data-end=\"2373\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2324\" data-end=\"2341\"\u003eBirthday joke\u003c\/strong\u003e - better than a Hallmark card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2374\" data-end=\"2432\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2432\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2398\"\u003eAnonymous surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e - because subtlety is overrated\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2433\" data-end=\"2487\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2435\" data-end=\"2487\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2435\" data-end=\"2455\"\u003eStocking stuffer\u003c\/strong\u003e - Santa’s dirty little secret\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2579\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2490\" data-end=\"2579\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2490\" data-end=\"2524\"\u003eBachelor or bachelorette party\u003c\/strong\u003e - nothing says “congrats” like tiny dicks everywhere\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2581\" data-end=\"2584\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2586\" data-end=\"2639\"\u003eHow to Execute the Perfect Suction Willies Prank\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"3000\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2725\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2644\" data-end=\"2725\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2644\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003eChoose your target.\u003c\/strong\u003e Friend, sibling, stranger - anyone who can take a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2726\" data-end=\"2844\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2729\" data-end=\"2844\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2729\" data-end=\"2782\"\u003eStick it somewhere they won’t notice immediately.\u003c\/strong\u003e Mirrors, screens, the fridge, the inside of a cabinet door.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2845\" data-end=\"2912\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2848\" data-end=\"2912\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2848\" data-end=\"2862\"\u003eWalk away.\u003c\/strong\u003e The slower the discovery, the bigger the laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2913\" data-end=\"3000\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2916\" data-end=\"3000\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2916\" data-end=\"2935\"\u003eOptional bonus:\u003c\/strong\u003e Go for the glow-in-the-dark version for nighttime comedy gold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3002\" data-end=\"3005\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3007\" data-end=\"3040\"\u003eThe Art of the Stick and Run\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3042\" data-end=\"3274\"\u003eThe best part about Suction Willies? They come right off without leaving a mark - which means you can move them, reuse them, and pull off multiple pranks with the same set. They’re like the gift that keeps on giving… and sticking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3276\" data-end=\"3476\"\u003eWhether you’re going for a slow-burn prank where someone notices it three days later, or an immediate “What the hell is this?!” reveal, these little suction cup penises never fail to get a reaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3478\" data-end=\"3481\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3483\" data-end=\"3538\"\u003eFinal Word: Buy Them Before Someone Gets You First\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3540\" data-end=\"3736\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3544\" data-end=\"3563\"\u003eSuction Willies\u003c\/strong\u003e pack is not just a purchase. It’s an investment in your prank career. It’s the difference between being the person who laughs at the joke and the person who \u003cem data-start=\"3721\" data-end=\"3730\"\u003ecreates\u003c\/em\u003e it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3738\" data-end=\"3883\"\u003eThey’re small, portable, reusable, and dangerously hilarious. And since they ship anonymously, you can prank anyone without blowing your cover.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3885\" data-end=\"4097\"\u003e🎯 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3888\" data-end=\"3902\"\u003eOrder now.\u003c\/strong\u003e Make your friends cry-laugh. Make strangers question reality. And make sure the next time someone’s car pulls into a meeting, it’s got three tiny suction dicks proudly stuck to the windshield.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option for any prank products. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Glow in The Dark","offer_id":32919495409748,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink","offer_id":32919479976020,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":32919480008788,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue","offer_id":32919480074324,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold","offer_id":32919480139860,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple","offer_id":40597407072340,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rainbow","offer_id":41643295473748,"sku":"RAINBOWSUCTION","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/suction-willies-9729645.jpg?v=1755879090"},{"product_id":"same-dick-forever-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"Same Dick Forever Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"127\"\u003eTrue Love Means Settling - And Laughing About It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"129\" data-end=\"558\"\u003eThere comes a day in every relationship when you stop chasing butterflies and start chasing your partner’s farts out of the sheets. And that, my friend, is when you know you’ve found \u003cem data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"321\"\u003ethe one\u003c\/em\u003e. The one dick. The same dick. \u003cstrong data-start=\"352\" data-end=\"364\"\u003eForever.\u003c\/strong\u003e So celebrate that oddly comforting, mildly frustrating, and occasionally disappointing reality with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"495\"\u003eSame Dick Forever Card\u003c\/strong\u003e - a brutally honest love letter to your eternal penis partner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003eBuy now if you're brave enough to admit monogamy is just loving the same genitals on loop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"659\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"661\" data-end=\"713\"\u003eBecause Flowers Die, But Dick Jokes Live Forever\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"1032\"\u003eLet’s skip the sappy cards that pretend you still text each other “good morning” unironically. You’ve been through it. The fights, the makeup sex, the awkward family holidays, and that one time you both got food poisoning and still high-fived through it. You’re locked in. And not just emotionally - but anatomically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"1038\" data-end=\"1080\"\u003eSame Dick Forever Valentine’s Day Card\u003c\/strong\u003e says what Hallmark never will. It’s the only Valentine’s Day card that dares to honor the penis that’s been disappointing you since the first drunken hookup. And honestly? That kind of consistency deserves a standing ovation. Or at least a sarcastic applause and this card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1361\" data-end=\"1411\"\u003eA Love Story Told in One Blunt, Hilarious Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1728\"\u003eFlashback: You met. You flirted. You banged. You texted. You banged again. Eventually, you started leaving toothbrushes at each other’s place. Then came the “What are we?” talk, the “Let’s move in” moment, and the eventual horror realization that you’ve been staring at the same damn peen since Obama was in office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1730\" data-end=\"1865\"\u003eBut here you are. Still together. Still tolerating each other. Still making dick jokes to hide how deeply you actually love each other.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1867\" data-end=\"1885\"\u003eThis card gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1887\" data-end=\"1890\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1892\" data-end=\"1947\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Getting, You Brave Romantic, You\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"1982\"\u003eFolded Valentine’s Day card\u003c\/strong\u003e featuring the glorious phrase “Same Dick Forever” - just in case they forgot what they signed up for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2106\"\u003eOptional add-ons\u003c\/strong\u003e like a bag of dicks, because why stop at a card when you can double down on dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - so if you're secretly roasting a situationship, your secret’s safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2294\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003ePrinted on thick, quality cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e - unlike that limp noodle you’re roasting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2398\"\u003eBlank interior\u003c\/strong\u003e - for your own crude message, heartfelt apology, or explicit drawing of what “forever dick” looks like\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2503\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2508\" data-end=\"2576\"\u003ePerfect For These Deliciously Petty, Painfully Relatable Moments\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2607\"\u003eValentine’s Day sarcasm\u003c\/strong\u003e - Let Cupid choke on this card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2639\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2661\"\u003eAnniversary gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - Celebrate another 365 days of that familiar shaft\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2714\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2742\"\u003eFunny gift for couples\u003c\/strong\u003e - Because therapy’s expensive and laughter’s free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2793\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2821\"\u003eRelationship milestone\u003c\/strong\u003e - Make your 5-year mark with a card that screams “you’re stuck now”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2890\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2914\"\u003ePetty revenge gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - For the one you love and lowkey hate at the same time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2972\" data-end=\"2975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2977\" data-end=\"3023\"\u003eMake ‘Em Laugh, Cringe, and Probably Blush\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eThis isn’t just a card. It’s a commitment wrapped in sarcasm, dipped in honesty, and served with a side of “Yep... this is our life now.” Whether you’re the kind of couple that has matching socks or the kind that argues over whose turn it is to buy toilet paper, this card is your anthem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3492\"\u003eSo if your idea of romance involves brutally honest jokes, relentless sarcasm, and a complete lack of emotional boundaries - \u003cstrong data-start=\"3440\" data-end=\"3459\"\u003econgratulations\u003c\/strong\u003e. You’ve found your perfect card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3494\" data-end=\"3497\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3499\" data-end=\"3577\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” Before Your Partner Realizes They Could’ve Done Better\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003eWhy wait? Show them you care \u003cem data-start=\"3608\" data-end=\"3616\"\u003eenough\u003c\/em\u003e to get them a card. But not so much that it doesn’t come with a solid dick roast. \u003cstrong data-start=\"3699\" data-end=\"3720\"\u003eSame Dick Forever\u003c\/strong\u003e - because at this point, what choice do you really have?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":33029492015188,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":33029492080724,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":33029492146260,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":33029492179028,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/same-dick-forever-card-2088547.jpg?v=1755878873"},{"product_id":"i-love-your-big-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"I Love You....And Your Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"318\" data-end=\"365\"\u003eSay \"I Love You\" - But Also, I Love Your Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"434\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"434\"\u003eBecause let’s be honest - you’re not just here for the cuddles.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"436\" data-end=\"670\"\u003eValentine’s Day is all hearts, flowers, and sappy cards that say things like “forever yours” or “you complete me.” That’s sweet and all, but what about the real MVP in the relationship? The one that \u003cem data-start=\"635\" data-end=\"645\"\u003eactually\u003c\/em\u003e shows up when it counts?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"672\" data-end=\"705\"\u003eWe’re talkin’ about his \u003cstrong data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"704\"\u003edick\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003eIf you’re the kind of person who loves to laugh, doesn’t do boring romance, and wants to say “I love you” with a side of “I want your penis in and around me,” this is your card. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"951\"\u003e\"I Love You...And Your Dick\" Valentine's Day Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is the brutally honest, hilarious, and slightly disturbing way to say exactly what you're thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003eGrab one now and ruin Hallmark’s day with one glorious pop-up penis.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1132\" data-end=\"1165\"\u003eA Card That’s Hard - Literally\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1167\" data-end=\"1331\"\u003eThis ain’t your average grocery store greeting. It’s a full-blown \u003cstrong data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1261\"\u003eValentine’s Day gag gift\u003c\/strong\u003e with a surprise that pops harder than a teenager home alone with HBO.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1333\" data-end=\"1444\"\u003eHere’s the setup: Outside, it’s classy-ish. Simple. “I Love You...And Your Dick.” Kinda sweet. Almost innocent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1446\" data-end=\"1643\"\u003eThen - BAM - you open it, and out comes a glorious 3D penis with “EAT A DICK” printed inside. Because nothing says \u003cem data-start=\"1561\" data-end=\"1596\"\u003eI care deeply about your genitals\u003c\/em\u003e like sending a paper schlong through the mail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1645\" data-end=\"1648\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1650\" data-end=\"1672\"\u003eThis Card Is For...\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1674\" data-end=\"1915\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1674\" data-end=\"1722\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1676\" data-end=\"1722\"\u003eCouples who love to laugh and hate being basic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1723\" data-end=\"1776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1725\" data-end=\"1776\"\u003eBold-as-hell girlfriends and wives with zero filter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1777\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1779\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003eHusbands and boyfriends who actually have a sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1838\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003eHorny, sarcastic weirdos who can’t be tamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1884\" data-end=\"1915\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1886\" data-end=\"1915\"\u003eYou. You filthy romantic, you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1917\" data-end=\"2145\"\u003eThis isn’t just a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1935\" data-end=\"1962\"\u003efunny romantic surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e, it’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1971\" data-end=\"2000\"\u003enovelty relationship card\u003c\/strong\u003e that says what every hot-blooded adult is \u003cem data-start=\"2043\" data-end=\"2051\"\u003ereally\u003c\/em\u003e thinking on Valentine’s Day. Love? Sure. Loyalty? Absolutely. But also... \u003cstrong data-start=\"2126\" data-end=\"2144\"\u003egive me that D\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2147\" data-end=\"2150\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2152\" data-end=\"2174\"\u003eInside the Package:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2176\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2176\" data-end=\"2255\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2178\" data-end=\"2255\"\u003eOne folded \u003cstrong data-start=\"2189\" data-end=\"2213\"\u003eValentine’s Day card\u003c\/strong\u003e printed with “I Love You...And Your Dick”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2256\" data-end=\"2320\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2258\" data-end=\"2320\"\u003eInside: a fully erect 3D pop-up penis and “EAT A DICK” message\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2321\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2323\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003ePremium cardstock, because your penis deserves quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2433\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2433\"\u003eWhite envelope included for discreet mailing (or not)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2434\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2436\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously, so feel free to be as reckless as you want\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2511\" data-end=\"2578\"\u003eWant to leave them shocked, laughing, and a little turned on? Done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2583\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2585\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003eWhat Real Freaks Are Saying:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2618\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2620\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e“Cute card for my husband.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2647\" data-end=\"2650\"\u003e“I bought this for my boyfriend for his birthday. Look on his face was priceless!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2736\" data-end=\"2783\"\u003eTranslation: it worked. And so will it for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2785\" data-end=\"2788\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2790\" data-end=\"2817\"\u003eWhy You Should Send This\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2819\" data-end=\"2962\"\u003eBecause you’re not basic. You’re not boring. And you’re not writing “Roses are red, violets are blue” unless it ends with something truly foul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2964\" data-end=\"3092\"\u003eYou’re bold. You’re funny. You’re the kind of person who buys a card that features a penis that literally springs out to say hi.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3094\" data-end=\"3392\"\u003eThis isn’t just a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3112\" data-end=\"3136\"\u003echeeky couple’s joke\u003c\/strong\u003e - it’s a f***ing experience. The kind of card that gets shown to friends, kept in drawers, and laughed about for years. It’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3264\" data-end=\"3293\"\u003efunny adult birthday card\u003c\/strong\u003e, a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3297\" data-end=\"3322\"\u003esexy Valentine’s card\u003c\/strong\u003e, a flirty nuke of love and horniness dropped right on their doorstep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3394\" data-end=\"3397\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3399\" data-end=\"3433\"\u003eLet’s Get Balls Deep in Romance\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3435\" data-end=\"3646\"\u003eOrder the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3445\" data-end=\"3491\"\u003e\"I Love You...And Your Dick\" greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e now and become the romantic hero no one saw coming. We’ll ship it anonymously so you can stay mysterious, but your message? Loud, proud, and full of dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3648\" data-end=\"3769\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3648\" data-end=\"3769\"\u003eClick add to cart. Show them you care - about their dick, their soul, and their ability to laugh with their pants on.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3648\" data-end=\"3769\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"1 Eat a Dick Greeting Card \/ ----","offer_id":33032373502036,"sku":"","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/i-love-youand-your-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card-3682429.jpg?v=1755878873"},{"product_id":"happy-valentines-day-big-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"Happy Valentine's Day Big Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"57\" data-end=\"132\"\u003eRoses are red, violets are fine - here’s a big pop-up dick, now be mine\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"134\" data-end=\"480\"\u003eTired of giving the same weak-ass Valentine’s Day card that looks like it was farted out by a Hallmark factory worker on their lunch break? Good. We’ve got something better. Way better. Introducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"336\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eHappy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card\u003c\/strong\u003e - the only card that says “I love you” by smacking your partner in the face with a literal pop-up penis.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"482\" data-end=\"722\"\u003eThat’s right. You open the card and - \u003cem data-start=\"520\" data-end=\"526\"\u003eBOOM\u003c\/em\u003e - there it is. A 3D dick. Unapologetic. Proud. Pointing directly at whoever dared to open it. It’s bold, it’s brilliant, and it’s basically Cupid if he ditched the arrows and just whipped it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"727\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"807\"\u003eWhy Just Say “I Love You” When You Can \u003cem data-start=\"772\" data-end=\"778\"\u003eShow\u003c\/em\u003e It With a Card Full of Dick?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"809\" data-end=\"1114\"\u003eListen, Valentine’s Day is already one of those holidays you either love, hate, or fake your way through. Whether you’re madly in love, chronically single, or just vibing through situationships - \u003cstrong data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003ethis card fits.\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s the universal language of chaos and affection all rolled into one perfect penis pop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1116\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eAnd let’s be real - your partner doesn’t want another teddy bear or coupon for \"one free back rub.\" They want a card that screams, \u003cem data-start=\"1247\" data-end=\"1314\"\u003e\"I care about you enough to prank you with a cardboard erection.\"\u003c\/em\u003e That’s love. That’s romance. That’s the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eHappy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1419\"\u003ePicture This…\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1421\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003eYou hand them the envelope. They look at you all gooey-eyed. They’re expecting something heartfelt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1616\"\u003eThen they open it. And the dick pops up like it’s been waiting all year for this exact moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1618\" data-end=\"1715\"\u003eThey gasp. They laugh. Maybe they snort wine out of their nose. You win Valentine’s Day. Forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1717\" data-end=\"1720\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1722\" data-end=\"1768\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting (Besides Eternal Love)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1770\" data-end=\"2107\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1770\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1772\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003eA folded Valentine’s Day card that \u003cstrong data-start=\"1807\" data-end=\"1839\"\u003eexplodes with 3D dick energy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1842\" data-end=\"1934\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1844\" data-end=\"1934\"\u003ePrinted on \u003cstrong data-start=\"1855\" data-end=\"1881\"\u003ehigh-quality cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e that screams “this isn’t your grandma’s love note”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1935\" data-end=\"2011\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"2011\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"1965\"\u003eFully anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e, because some things are better untraceable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2012\" data-end=\"2081\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2014\" data-end=\"2081\"\u003eComes in a classic envelope, just innocent enough to lure them in\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2082\" data-end=\"2107\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2107\"\u003eShips fast, hits harder\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2109\" data-end=\"2112\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2114\" data-end=\"2130\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2132\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2132\" data-end=\"2186\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2134\" data-end=\"2186\"\u003eYour partner with a dirty mind and zero boundaries\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2187\" data-end=\"2242\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2189\" data-end=\"2242\"\u003eYour ex (if you're still close and weird like that)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2243\" data-end=\"2313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2245\" data-end=\"2313\"\u003eAnyone whose idea of romance involves laughter and genital origami\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2314\" data-end=\"2369\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2316\" data-end=\"2369\"\u003eThat friend who treats Valentine’s Day like a sport\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2370\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2372\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003eYourself, because self-love is real and dicks are funny\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2429\" data-end=\"2432\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2434\" data-end=\"2473\"\u003eA Card That’s Got Balls (Literally)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2475\" data-end=\"2661\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"2479\" data-end=\"2518\"\u003eHappy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is not for the weak. This thing is for people who want to make a \u003cem data-start=\"2584\" data-end=\"2595\"\u003estatement\u003c\/em\u003e. Who aren’t afraid to show their love with a towering paper peen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eAnd best of all? It’s totally safe for work - \u003cem data-start=\"2709\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eif your workplace is a strip club or a pirate ship.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2764\" data-end=\"2993\"\u003eThere’s a reason “valentines day dick” is one of the most searched terms on our site. People are out here looking for cards with a sense of humor and a healthy dose of shock value. And this one delivers - in every throbbing inch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2995\" data-end=\"2998\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3000\" data-end=\"3051\"\u003eSo... Wanna Make Someone’s Valentine’s Day Pop?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3053\" data-end=\"3153\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3059\" data-end=\"3074\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e and send a dick that truly comes from the heart. Or from your loins. Whatever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3155\" data-end=\"3219\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3155\" data-end=\"3170\"\u003eGet it now.\u003c\/strong\u003e Before the mail carrier starts asking questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"1 Eat a Dick Greeting Card \/ ----","offer_id":33032374190164,"sku":"","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/happy-valentines-day-big-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card-8002311.jpg?v=1755878873"},{"product_id":"milfs-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card","title":"MILF's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"44\" data-end=\"104\"\u003eIt’s Almost MILF Day... Time to Let That Savage Side Out\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"106\" data-end=\"462\"\u003eNothing says “I appreciate you, Mom” like a pop-up penis screaming \u003cstrong data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"187\"\u003eEAT A DICK\u003c\/strong\u003e when she opens her heartfelt Mother’s Day card. Okay, maybe not \u003cem data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"258\"\u003eyour\u003c\/em\u003e mom - unless she’s an absolute legend. But if you’ve got a MILF in your life who can take a joke (or an ex who definitely can’t), this is your golden ticket to chaos, laughter, and uncomfortable silence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"705\"\u003eThis is not your average “Happy Mother’s Day” card. It’s a Trojan Horse with a dick inside - literally. We call it the \u003cstrong data-start=\"583\" data-end=\"620\"\u003eMILF's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e, and it’s here to shock, offend, and make somebody cackle so hard they pee a little.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"710\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"712\" data-end=\"778\"\u003eWhy This MILF Day Card Slaps Harder Than Your Childhood Trauma\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"1196\"\u003eLook, not all moms are precious angels baking cookies and knitting sweaters. Some are MILFs. Some are spicy, sarcastic, and would rather get a bottle of tequila and a giggle-worthy \u003cstrong data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"974\"\u003emilf card\u003c\/strong\u003e than another lame scented candle. And some of your friends probably \u003cem data-start=\"1043\" data-end=\"1060\"\u003ecall themselves\u003c\/em\u003e MILFs because it makes them feel alive. Whatever the case, this card delivers two things: unexpected laughs and a giant cardboard dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1198\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003eIt’s the perfect surprise for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1382\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003eMILFs with a wild side\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1254\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1256\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003eFriends who need to be humbled\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1287\" data-end=\"1333\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1289\" data-end=\"1333\"\u003eExes who deserve confusion more than closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1334\" data-end=\"1382\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1336\" data-end=\"1382\"\u003eAnyone who thinks Mother’s Day needs more dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1384\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1389\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003eDick Pop - The Greeting Card Upgrade Nobody Asked For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1448\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003eLet’s be real: greeting cards are boring. They say things like “Wishing you joy and flowers.” You know what’s better than flowers? A \u003cstrong data-start=\"1581\" data-end=\"1596\"\u003edick pop up\u003c\/strong\u003e right in the face. That’s why we designed this masterpiece.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1658\" data-end=\"1922\"\u003eImagine this: someone’s holding what looks like a sweet \u003cstrong data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1734\"\u003ehappy MILF’s day\u003c\/strong\u003e card. They’re smiling. Maybe even touched. Then they open it - and BOOM - \u003cstrong data-start=\"1809\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003eJust Kidding! Eat a Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e with a veiny little cardboard surprise that springs up like a pervy jack-in-the-box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1924\" data-end=\"2030\"\u003eSilent pause. Jaw drop. Confused laughter. Uncontrollable giggling. Disowned? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2032\" data-end=\"2035\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2037\" data-end=\"2076\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Actually Getting\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2737\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2199\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2080\" data-end=\"2199\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2080\" data-end=\"2110\"\u003eDeceptively Sweet Exterior\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2110\" data-end=\"2113\"\u003eFront reads “Happy Mother’s Day.” Classic. Safe. Grandma-approved... until it’s not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2201\" data-end=\"2318\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2318\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2230\"\u003eExplosive Inside Energy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2233\"\u003eA full-blown \u003cstrong data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2263\"\u003edick popout\u003c\/strong\u003e that says “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.” Surprise, b*tch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2320\" data-end=\"2454\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2454\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2362\"\u003ePremium Materials, Trashy Intentions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2362\" data-end=\"2365\"\u003e14 pt double-sided cardstock. Pop-up engineering that’s so good, NASA could’ve made it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2456\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2458\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2458\" data-end=\"2488\"\u003eTotally Anonymous Shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2491\"\u003eNo names. No shame. Just pure, untraceable genius. Your hands are clean. Ish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2572\" data-end=\"2737\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2574\" data-end=\"2737\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2574\" data-end=\"2611\"\u003ePerfect for the MILF in Your Life\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2614\"\u003eWhether you’re celebrating, trolling, or just being a degenerate friend - this is the \u003cstrong data-start=\"2702\" data-end=\"2719\"\u003emilf day card\u003c\/strong\u003e that says it all.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2739\" data-end=\"2742\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2744\" data-end=\"2780\"\u003eSo... You Gonna Send It or What?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2782\" data-end=\"3107\"\u003eIf you’ve read this far, you’re exactly the type of beautiful degenerate who should be sending this \u003cstrong data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2901\"\u003eHappy MILFs Day\u003c\/strong\u003e card. It’s not just funny - it’s legendary. And with keywords like \u003cstrong data-start=\"2969\" data-end=\"2982\"\u003emilfs day\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong data-start=\"2984\" data-end=\"2995\"\u003edickpop\u003c\/strong\u003e, and \u003cstrong data-start=\"3001\" data-end=\"3022\"\u003emother's day dick\u003c\/strong\u003e baked right into the experience, you know you’re making the internet a better place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3109\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003eSo click that button. Send the card. Make someone question every decision they’ve made.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3278\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3229\"\u003eBecause MILFs deserve dick.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3229\" data-end=\"3232\"\u003eJust... maybe not the one they were expecting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3278\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":39327780569172,"sku":"","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":39327780634708,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":39327780700244,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":39327780733012,"sku":"","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/milfs-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card-8529608.jpg?v=1755878874"},{"product_id":"box-of-nothing","title":"Box of Nothing","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"67\" data-end=\"130\"\u003eFinally - The Perfect Gift for People Who Deserve Jack Sh*t\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"132\" data-end=\"503\"\u003eEver wanted to give someone the middle finger, but, like... with shipping and tracking? Introducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"236\" data-end=\"254\"\u003eBox of Nothing\u003c\/strong\u003e - a beautifully petty, painfully empty package that screams “I thought of you and still decided to send absolutely nothing.” Yep. It’s a real box. It shows up. It says “Nothing” inside. That’s it. That’s the joke. That’s the burn. That’s the magic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"505\" data-end=\"587\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"505\" data-end=\"587\"\u003eSo go ahead - send a big fat box of disappointment to someone who’s earned it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"589\" data-end=\"592\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"649\"\u003eBecause Sometimes, Nothing Says More Than Something\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"651\" data-end=\"1005\"\u003eForget flowers. Forget candy. Forget those dumbass candles that smell like someone’s anxiety. Sometimes, the only thing a person truly deserves is \u003cstrong data-start=\"798\" data-end=\"809\"\u003enothing\u003c\/strong\u003e. Like, literally. A whole-ass box of nothing. A fully shipped, priority-mail, effort-was-made-empty-ass box. It’s the ultimate passive-aggressive flex - and the most honest gift you’ll ever give.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1007\" data-end=\"1241\"\u003eGot a flaky friend who ghosted your birthday? Send a Box of Nothing.\u003cbr data-start=\"1075\" data-end=\"1078\"\u003eBoss promised you a raise and gave you “pizza in the breakroom” instead? Box of Nothing.\u003cbr data-start=\"1166\" data-end=\"1169\"\u003eEx hit you with the “let’s still be friends”? Box. Of. F*cking. Nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1243\" data-end=\"1246\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1248\" data-end=\"1291\"\u003eLet Me Paint You a Petty Little Picture\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1495\"\u003eImagine Karen at work opening her priority-mail package. She's thinking she scored a Starbucks gift card or maybe a cute little succulent. Nope. Just a cardboard box. Inside? A note that says “Nothing.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1497\" data-end=\"1562\"\u003eCue confusion. Cue offended snort. Cue peak white-elephant glory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1564\" data-end=\"1712\"\u003eWhether you’re the hero of the holiday party or just the anonymous villain your ex deserves, this box delivers laughs, gasps, and existential dread.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1717\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1719\" data-end=\"1789\"\u003eWhat You’re Actually Getting (Besides the Joy of Crushing Spirits)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1791\" data-end=\"2170\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1791\" data-end=\"1890\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1793\" data-end=\"1890\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1793\" data-end=\"1823\"\u003eOne box. Literally. A box.\u003c\/strong\u003e Cardboard. Shipped priority. It's real, just like your bitterness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1891\" data-end=\"2001\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1893\" data-end=\"2001\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1893\" data-end=\"1913\"\u003eInside? Nothing.\u003c\/strong\u003e Not a single damn thing. Just air, disappointment, and maybe a whiff of your pettiness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2002\" data-end=\"2110\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2004\" data-end=\"2110\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2004\" data-end=\"2039\"\u003eShipped 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - so they’ll never know who dunked on them unless you spill the beans.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2111\" data-end=\"2170\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2113\" data-end=\"2170\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2113\" data-end=\"2138\"\u003ePremium-grade sarcasm\u003c\/strong\u003e packed in USPS-certified shade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2172\" data-end=\"2175\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2177\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003eGreat For These Moments of Delightful Spite\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2226\" data-end=\"2625\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2226\" data-end=\"2314\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2314\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003ePetty revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e - because being the bigger person is for people with less creativity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2315\" data-end=\"2380\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2317\" data-end=\"2380\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2317\" data-end=\"2336\"\u003eBreakup closure\u003c\/strong\u003e - nothing says “we’re done” like... nothing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2381\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2383\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2383\" data-end=\"2409\"\u003eBirthday “celebration”\u003c\/strong\u003e - for the friend who never remembers yours\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2453\" data-end=\"2535\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2455\" data-end=\"2535\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2455\" data-end=\"2481\"\u003eWhite elephant parties\u003c\/strong\u003e - turn your office party into a moment of viral chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2536\" data-end=\"2625\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2538\" data-end=\"2625\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2538\" data-end=\"2572\"\u003ePassive-aggressive power moves\u003c\/strong\u003e - for in-laws, ex-roommates, or Todd from accounting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2627\" data-end=\"2630\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2632\" data-end=\"2692\"\u003eWarning: May Cause Confusion, Offense, and Loud Laughter\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2694\" data-end=\"2927\"\u003eThis isn’t some cutesy prank. This is industrial-strength sarcasm in a box. It’s art. It’s therapy. It’s a statement. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"2816\" data-end=\"2834\"\u003eBox of Nothing\u003c\/strong\u003e is your way of saying, “I care enough to send something... but not enough to make it count.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2929\" data-end=\"3165\"\u003eHell, one customer said it best:\u003cbr data-start=\"2961\" data-end=\"2964\"\u003e“Just what I needed to send my ex without breaking a restraining order. Got a laugh and the message landed hard.” \u003cem data-start=\"3078\" data-end=\"3165\"\u003e(Disclaimer: definitely don’t violate any legal agreements. We’re petty, not stupid.)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3167\" data-end=\"3170\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3172\" data-end=\"3248\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” - Then Sit Back and Ruin Someone’s Day (Beautifully)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3250\" data-end=\"3489\"\u003eDon’t wait for karma. Be the karma. Send the box. Make ‘em feel seen, but in the worst way possible. Whether it’s revenge, sarcasm, or just the joy of watching someone open a box of nothing with a confused expression - this is your chance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3491\" data-end=\"3620\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eSo what are you waiting for? \u003cstrong data-start=\"3520\" data-end=\"3557\"\u003eSend a whole lot of nothing today\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003cbr data-start=\"3558\" data-end=\"3561\"\u003eBecause sometimes, \u003cstrong data-start=\"3580\" data-end=\"3619\"\u003enothing is the pettiest gift of all\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39684547903572,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/box-of-nothing-1385885.png?v=1755878864"},{"product_id":"wheel-willies-penis-valve-cap-covers","title":"Wheel Willies - Hilarious Weiner Valve Caps","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"202\" data-start=\"142\"\u003eWheel Willies - Because Your Ride Deserves Some Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"458\" data-start=\"204\"\u003eLook, your car is boring. Your motorcycle is boring. Hell, your bicycle is boring. But slap a set of \u003cstrong data-end=\"322\" data-start=\"305\"\u003eWheel Willies\u003c\/strong\u003e on those tires and suddenly you’re rolling through town like the absolute legend you are - with four tiny penises spinning at 60 mph.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"722\" data-start=\"460\"\u003eYes, they’re real. Yes, they’re glorious. And yes, they screw right onto any standard valve stem like they were meant to be there all along. The only thing more satisfying than seeing them is watching the slow, confused reaction of someone who finally notices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1029\" data-start=\"724\"\u003eIf you’ve ever thought, “My vehicle needs more personality,” the answer isn’t a bumper sticker or fuzzy dice - it’s \u003cstrong data-end=\"870\" data-start=\"840\"\u003eglow-in-the-dark dick caps\u003c\/strong\u003e. And lucky for you, these ship 100% anonymously so you can prank your friends, your ex, or even yourself without anyone knowing you’re the genius behind it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1151\" data-start=\"1031\"\u003e👉 \u003cstrong data-end=\"1149\" data-start=\"1034\"\u003eStop pretending your car is fine the way it is. Click Add to Cart and give those wheels the balls they deserve.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1156\" data-start=\"1153\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1200\" data-start=\"1158\"\u003eWhy You Absolutely Need Wheel Willies\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1583\" data-start=\"1202\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1307\" data-start=\"1202\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1307\" data-start=\"1204\"\u003eThey fit \u003cem data-end=\"1218\" data-start=\"1213\"\u003eany\u003c\/em\u003e standard valve stem - cars, trucks, motorcycles, even that sad scooter in your garage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1403\" data-start=\"1308\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1403\" data-start=\"1310\"\u003eAvailable in multiple colors, including \u003cstrong data-end=\"1370\" data-start=\"1350\"\u003eglow-in-the-dark\u003c\/strong\u003e for maximum nighttime giggles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1500\" data-start=\"1404\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1500\" data-start=\"1406\"\u003eThey’re the perfect mix of stupid and genius, which is basically the highest form of comedy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1583\" data-start=\"1501\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1583\" data-start=\"1503\"\u003eShips completely anonymously - no one will know where the dick caps came from.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1693\" data-start=\"1585\"\u003eThese aren’t just a gag gift - they’re a rolling reminder that life’s too short to drive something boring.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1698\" data-start=\"1695\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1750\" data-start=\"1700\"\u003eThe Real-Life Reactions Are Worth Every Penny\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1772\" data-start=\"1752\"\u003eOne customer said:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"1935\" data-start=\"1773\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1935\" data-start=\"1775\"\u003e“Had a lot of fun with these for April Fool’s Day! Coworkers still don’t know how cool they are rolling through town with little glowing Wheel Willies. Lmao.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1954\" data-start=\"1937\"\u003eAnother review?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2035\" data-start=\"1955\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2035\" data-start=\"1957\"\u003e“Looks great on my car. Got them since my car is constantly fucking me lol.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2064\" data-start=\"2037\"\u003eAnd my personal favorite:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2291\" data-start=\"2065\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2291\" data-start=\"2067\"\u003e“Put them on my buddy’s truck cause I knew he was getting new tires soon. He went later that day. Tire guy came out and asked if he put the caps on his tires. Friend said YES. Tire guy says ‘OK, cause they are penis’ 😂😂”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2363\" data-start=\"2293\"\u003eIf that’s not the reaction you want from life, I don’t know what is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2368\" data-start=\"2365\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2387\" data-start=\"2370\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2740\" data-start=\"2389\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2461\" data-start=\"2389\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2461\" data-start=\"2391\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2405\" data-start=\"2391\"\u003eCar pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e - give your buddy’s truck a little extra “horsepower”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2520\" data-start=\"2462\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2520\" data-start=\"2464\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2488\" data-start=\"2464\"\u003eMotorcycle gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e - Harley riders need love too\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2591\" data-start=\"2521\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2591\" data-start=\"2523\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2551\" data-start=\"2523\"\u003eBachelor party surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e - because strippers are too expensive\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2664\" data-start=\"2592\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2664\" data-start=\"2594\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2629\" data-start=\"2594\"\u003eAdult novelty stocking stuffers\u003c\/strong\u003e - Santa’s been naughty this year\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2740\" data-start=\"2665\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2740\" data-start=\"2667\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2684\" data-start=\"2667\"\u003eFunny revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e - the kind that makes people laugh, not call the cops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2745\" data-start=\"2742\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2799\" data-start=\"2747\"\u003eHow to Pull Off the Perfect Wheel Willies Prank\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"3029\" data-start=\"2801\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2857\" data-start=\"2801\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2857\" data-start=\"2804\"\u003eOrder a set (or four) and pick your favorite color.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2930\" data-start=\"2858\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2930\" data-start=\"2861\"\u003eScrew them onto your victim’s valve stems when they’re not looking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2969\" data-start=\"2931\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2969\" data-start=\"2934\"\u003eWalk away. Wait. Enjoy the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3029\" data-start=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3029\" data-start=\"2973\"\u003eDeny everything while secretly laughing like a maniac.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3139\" data-start=\"3031\"\u003eBonus tip: The \u003cstrong data-end=\"3071\" data-start=\"3046\"\u003eglow-in-the-dark ones\u003c\/strong\u003e turn any nighttime drive into a weird little light show of shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3144\" data-start=\"3141\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3209\" data-start=\"3146\"\u003eGive Your Ride (or Someone Else’s) the Package It Deserves\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3374\" data-start=\"3211\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-end=\"3262\" data-start=\"3215\"\u003eWheel Willies - Hilarious Weiner Valve Caps\u003c\/strong\u003e aren’t just a product - they’re a lifestyle choice. A declaration. A middle finger to boring cars everywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3555\" data-start=\"3376\"\u003eEvery time your friend pulls up to a gas station, parks at a restaurant, or hits a stoplight, someone’s going to notice. And when they do? That’s your moment. That’s the payoff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3560\" data-start=\"3557\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3813\" data-start=\"3562\"\u003e🎯 \u003cstrong data-end=\"3590\" data-start=\"3565\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send a set of these beauties rolling into someone’s life. Whether it’s a buddy, a bachelor party victim, or your own set of wheels, Wheel Willies are the easiest, funniest, and most immature upgrade you’ll ever make.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT\u003c\/strong\u003e: Must be 18 years or older, and please read out Terms of Service\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e  \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Green(Glow in the Dark)","offer_id":39927951032404,"sku":"TD_Glow","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Rainbow","offer_id":41643320115284,"sku":"","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":39927951097940,"sku":"TD_Black","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Blue","offer_id":39927951163476,"sku":"TD_Blue","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gold","offer_id":39927951229012,"sku":"TD_Gold","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink","offer_id":40511363907668,"sku":"","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Purple","offer_id":42409233481812,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Regular Green","offer_id":42409233514580,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/wheel-willies-hilarious-weiner-valve-caps-7147748.jpg?v=1755878870"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-glitter-bomb","title":"Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb!","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"228\" data-start=\"127\"\u003eSpring Loaded Glitter Bomb - The Tiny Package That Wrecks Their Day in the Most Hilarious Way\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"391\" data-start=\"230\"\u003eNothing says “I’m thinking of you” quite like blasting someone in the face with a rainbow explosion of glitter they’ll be finding in their underwear for weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"571\" data-start=\"393\"\u003eMeet the \u003cstrong data-end=\"432\" data-start=\"402\"\u003eSpring Loaded Glitter Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e - the ultimate prank for anyone who deserves a \u003cem data-end=\"489\" data-start=\"480\"\u003esparkly\u003c\/em\u003e reminder of your love, your pettiness, or your need for pure, unfiltered chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"838\" data-start=\"573\"\u003eThis isn’t some weak sprinkle of glitter in an envelope. No. This bad boy is locked, loaded, and ready to detonate hundreds of shiny, clingy pieces the second they open it. One pull of the packaging and \u003cem data-end=\"781\" data-start=\"776\"\u003eBAM\u003c\/em\u003e - instant regret. For them. Pure satisfaction for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"938\" data-start=\"840\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"936\" data-start=\"840\"\u003eOrder now, ship anonymously, and let gravity, physics, and poor decision-making do the rest.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"943\" data-start=\"940\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"992\" data-start=\"945\"\u003eWhy This is the Prank That Keeps on Giving\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1207\" data-start=\"994\"\u003eBecause glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. It’s the gift that \u003cem data-end=\"1069\" data-start=\"1062\"\u003enever\u003c\/em\u003e goes away. You’re not just sending a prank - you’re sending weeks, maybe months, of “why is there still glitter in my carpet?” moments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1436\" data-start=\"1209\"\u003eThis spring loaded glitter bomb isn’t just a laugh in the moment. It’s the long game. Every time they find another speck, they’ll think of you. And not in a Hallmark way. In a “dammit, I still have glitter in my toaster” way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1441\" data-start=\"1438\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1503\" data-start=\"1443\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Now Fully Understand Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"1694\" data-start=\"1505\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1694\" data-start=\"1507\"\u003e“Thought I was ordering the jizz confetti bomb, it may have been my mistake. But it worked like it was supposed to and gave me and my friend laughs for days 🤣”\u003cbr data-end=\"1670\" data-start=\"1667\"\u003e“Perfect funny gift”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1699\" data-start=\"1696\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1718\" data-start=\"1701\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2038\" data-start=\"1720\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1771\" data-start=\"1720\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1771\" data-start=\"1722\"\u003ePetty revenge that looks cute from the outside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1836\" data-start=\"1772\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1836\" data-start=\"1774\"\u003eBirthday surprises that literally burst with joy (and mess).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1914\" data-start=\"1837\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1914\" data-start=\"1839\"\u003eBachelor or bachelorette parties where you need a \u003cem data-end=\"1900\" data-start=\"1889\"\u003esparkling\u003c\/em\u003e icebreaker.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1978\" data-start=\"1915\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1978\" data-start=\"1917\"\u003eAnonymous pranks you can brag about without getting caught.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2038\" data-start=\"1979\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2038\" data-start=\"1981\"\u003eThat one friend who “loves glitter” - prove them wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2043\" data-start=\"2040\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2082\" data-start=\"2045\"\u003eHow the Magic (and Mayhem) Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2403\" data-start=\"2084\"\u003eIt looks like a small, innocent package. Maybe a gift, maybe a cute little surprise. They open it with curiosity. Inside is a coiled spring mechanism armed with multi-colored glitter (or themed glitter if you’re feeling fancy). The second that lid pops… glitter goes airborne like it’s been training for the Olympics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2573\" data-start=\"2405\"\u003eIt sticks to skin. It sticks to clothes. It sticks to places you didn’t even know glitter could go. And cleanup? Oh honey… they’re gonna need a shop vac and a prayer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2578\" data-start=\"2575\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2597\" data-start=\"2580\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2922\" data-start=\"2599\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2678\" data-start=\"2599\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2678\" data-start=\"2601\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2635\" data-start=\"2601\"\u003eOne spring loaded glitter bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e designed for maximum coverage and chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2760\" data-start=\"2679\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2760\" data-start=\"2681\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2707\" data-start=\"2681\"\u003eYour choice of glitter\u003c\/strong\u003e - multi-colored or themed for that personal touch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2843\" data-start=\"2761\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2843\" data-start=\"2763\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2785\" data-start=\"2763\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can watch the fallout without catching any heat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2922\" data-start=\"2844\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2922\" data-start=\"2846\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2861\" data-start=\"2846\"\u003eNo branding\u003c\/strong\u003e - nothing to give you away unless you want to take credit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2927\" data-start=\"2924\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2981\" data-start=\"2929\"\u003eThe Simple 3-Step Plan for Instant Satisfaction\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"3230\" data-start=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3069\" data-start=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3069\" data-start=\"2986\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3001\" data-start=\"2986\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e - because nothing bad ever starts with “I bought a glitter bomb.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3141\" data-start=\"3070\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3141\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3084\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003eShip it\u003c\/strong\u003e - send directly to your target with no return address.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3230\" data-start=\"3142\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3230\" data-start=\"3145\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3167\" data-start=\"3145\"\u003eSit back and enjoy\u003c\/strong\u003e - you’ve just gifted them months of sparkle-based suffering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3235\" data-start=\"3232\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3288\" data-start=\"3237\"\u003eThe Bottom Line: This is How You Win at Pranks\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3624\" data-start=\"3290\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-end=\"3324\" data-start=\"3294\"\u003eSpring Loaded Glitter Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just a product. It’s a lifestyle choice. It’s petty, it’s over-the-top, and it’s exactly the kind of chaos the world needs right now. Whether you’re aiming for a quick laugh, a slow-burn revenge, or just want to watch someone question all their life decisions, this is your weapon of choice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3734\" data-start=\"3626\"\u003eSo quit sending boring gifts. \u003cstrong data-end=\"3683\" data-start=\"3656\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now\u003c\/strong\u003e and make someone’s day… inconveniently fabulous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3734\" data-start=\"3626\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Multi Colored Glitter","offer_id":40653811744852,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Glitter *Larger Sized Glitter","offer_id":42412155469908,"sku":null,"price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"D-shaped Glitter","offer_id":42412155404372,"sku":null,"price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Valentine's Heart Shaped Glitter","offer_id":42833534877780,"sku":null,"price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Poo Glitter","offer_id":42412155371604,"sku":null,"price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow - Golden Shower Bomb!","offer_id":40653811777620,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Eco-Friendly paper glitter","offer_id":42412155502676,"sku":null,"price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas Glitter","offer_id":42412194201684,"sku":null,"price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Halloween Glitter","offer_id":42412194168916,"sku":null,"price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/spring-loaded-glitter-bomb-7713453.jpg?v=1756397507"},{"product_id":"dicksbymail-gift-cards-copy","title":"Dicksbymail Gift Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eShopping for someone else but not sure what to give them? Give them the gift of choice with a Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks Gift Card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift cards are delivered by email and contain instructions to redeem them at checkout. Our gift cards have no additional processing fees.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"$5.00","offer_id":41424122970196,"sku":"","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/dicksbymail-gift-card-4639849.png?v=1755878861"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-halloween-bomb-trick-or-treat","title":"Spring Loaded Halloween Bomb! Trick or Treat","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"229\" data-end=\"278\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpring Loaded Halloween Bomb! Trick or Treat\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"347\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"345\"\u003eThis Halloween, skip the candy and blow their freaking minds.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"349\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eForget the cheap plastic spider rings, the lame candy corn, and the “Boo!” signs that no one cares about. If you really want to make someone scream this spooky season, you send them a \u003cstrong data-start=\"533\" data-end=\"565\"\u003eSpring Loaded Halloween Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e. One second, they’re thinking they’re about to unwrap a cute Halloween surprise. The next, they’re getting blasted in the face with an eruption of Halloween confetti. And because we know you’re a devious little goblin, you can upgrade that chaos with dick confetti, jizz confetti, or glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"862\" data-end=\"1132\"\u003eThis isn’t your standard party favor. This is a weaponized “Trick” in a holiday built on jump scares and sugar highs. And here’s the best part - it ships 100 percent anonymously. They’ll have no idea you sent it… unless you want to stand up and claim your prank crown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1134\" data-end=\"1198\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1134\" data-end=\"1196\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and make your Halloween legendary.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1200\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1205\" data-end=\"1251\"\u003eWhy This is the Ultimate Halloween Prank\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1252\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003eAnyone can hand out candy. Anyone can hang cobwebs on their porch. But only the bold send an explosive confetti bomb straight to someone’s unsuspecting hands. It’s not just a prank - it’s a Halloween event that unfolds in 3 seconds:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1635\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1491\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003eThey open the tube, probably thinking it’s candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1543\" data-end=\"1589\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1546\" data-end=\"1589\"\u003eThe spring goes off like a party grenade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"1635\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1593\" data-end=\"1635\"\u003eHalloween-shaped chaos flies everywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1637\" data-end=\"1769\"\u003eAnd if you’ve gone for the dick or jizz confetti add-ons, let’s just say this is a “trick” they won’t be forgetting any time soon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1771\" data-end=\"1774\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1776\" data-end=\"1798\"\u003eHow It Goes Down\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1799\" data-end=\"2205\"\u003eImagine your friend gets a package in the mail. It’s a slim incense-style tube, totally harmless looking. Maybe they’re at home, maybe they’re at a Halloween party. They pop it open… \u003cstrong data-start=\"1982\" data-end=\"1990\"\u003eBAM!\u003c\/strong\u003e Confetti everywhere. Ghosts. Pumpkins. Maybe some tiny paper dicks flying through the air if you really went for it. People scream. People laugh. Someone’s still picking glitter out of their hair two weeks later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2207\" data-end=\"2269\"\u003eThat’s not just a prank - that’s an instant Halloween story.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2271\" data-end=\"2274\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2276\" data-end=\"2297\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2298\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2298\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2300\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2300\" data-end=\"2311\"\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e Standard incense-style tube rigged with a spring-loaded confetti blast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2385\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2387\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2387\" data-end=\"2405\"\u003eConfetti Type:\u003c\/strong\u003e Halloween-themed confetti included, with optional dick confetti, jizz confetti, or glitter add-ons\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2507\" data-end=\"2554\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2509\" data-end=\"2554\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2509\" data-end=\"2522\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2646\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2646\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2571\"\u003eOccasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Halloween pranks, revenge surprises, party gags, spooky anonymous tricks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2647\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2660\"\u003eImpact:\u003c\/strong\u003e Big enough blast to cover a small room in festive chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2720\" data-end=\"2723\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2725\" data-end=\"2749\"\u003eWhy People Love It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2750\" data-end=\"3112\"\u003eIt’s quick. It’s shocking. It’s ridiculously funny. And it’s not the kind of Halloween surprise you forget. Even the most boring, pumpkin-spice-basic recipient will suddenly have the most interesting thing to talk about for weeks. It’s also completely harmless - unless you count the emotional trauma of finding dick confetti on your kitchen floor in December.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3114\" data-end=\"3273\"\u003eThe Spring Loaded Halloween Bomb is basically Halloween’s answer to the glitter bomb Christmas card - only louder, messier, and way more seasonally on point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3275\" data-end=\"3278\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3280\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eHow to Make it Extra Savage\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3314\" data-end=\"3688\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3314\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3316\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3316\" data-end=\"3341\"\u003eUpgrade the Confetti:\u003c\/strong\u003e Add dick or jizz confetti for that perfect “WTF” factor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3401\" data-end=\"3478\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3403\" data-end=\"3478\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3403\" data-end=\"3427\"\u003eSend it Anonymously:\u003c\/strong\u003e Keep them guessing and watch the paranoia build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3479\" data-end=\"3575\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3481\" data-end=\"3575\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3481\" data-end=\"3503\"\u003eTime the Delivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Get it there right before a party so it goes off in front of a crowd.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3576\" data-end=\"3688\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3578\" data-end=\"3688\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3578\" data-end=\"3608\"\u003ePair it with Another Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e Follow it up with an Eat a Bag of Dicks package for the ultimate prank combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3690\" data-end=\"3693\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3695\" data-end=\"3881\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3695\" data-end=\"3711\"\u003eBottom line:\u003c\/strong\u003e this is the Halloween prank that will have them laughing, cursing, and vacuuming for days. It’s fast, it’s sneaky, and it’s way more memorable than fun-sized Snickers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3883\" data-end=\"3987\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3883\" data-end=\"3985\"\u003eSo stop being boring. Click “Add to Cart” and give someone a Halloween they’ll never recover from.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3883\" data-end=\"3987\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Halloween","offer_id":41615678734420,"sku":"HALLOWEENBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Halloween Confetti","offer_id":41615678767188,"sku":"DOUBLEHALLOWEENBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dicks \u0026 Halloween Confetti","offer_id":41615678799956,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix Halloween and Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41615678865492,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Trick or Treat combo Halloween \u0026 Dicks \u0026 Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41615678898260,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDDICKANDJIZZABOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix Halloween Confetti \u0026 Regular Glitter","offer_id":41615678832724,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/spring-loaded-halloween-bomb-trick-or-treat-6176086.jpg?v=1755878847"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-christmas-glitter-bomb","title":"Spring Loaded Christmas Glitter Cannon Prank!","description":"\u003cp\u003eGive a Christmas gift that will have the whole family feeling festive this year. Our brand new Spring Loaded Christmas Confetti Bomb will shoot out Holiday themed confetti (mixed with Dicks or Jizz if you want to add them) for a holiday surprise. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOur Spring Loaded Dick Christmas comes in a standard tube that looks similar to the second picture, not the third and fourth picture - those are just to demo the dick and jizz confetti. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Christmas","offer_id":41710676377684,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Christmas Confetti","offer_id":41710676410452,"sku":"DOUBLECHRISTMASBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dicks \u0026 Christmas Confetti","offer_id":41710676443220,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix Christmas and Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41710676475988,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas \u0026 Dicks \u0026 Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41710676508756,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDDICKANDJIZZABOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas Confetti \u0026 Regular Glitter","offer_id":41710676541524,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDDICKANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-christmas-bundle-5590301.jpg?v=1755878738"},{"product_id":"baby-daddy-mug-copy","title":"Calm Your Tits Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhether you're drinking your morning coffee, evening tea, or something in between – this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e• Black and glossy\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41713905336404,"sku":"CALMYOURTITSMUG","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/calm-your-tits-mug-1003779.png?v=1755878736"},{"product_id":"valentines-day-bundle-i-heard-you-needed-some-dick","title":"Valentine’s Day Bundle: The Dick Gift Set","description":"\u003cp\u003ehis Valentine’s Day, say goodbye to boring gifts and embrace the laughter with the ultimate \u003cstrong\u003echocolate cock\u003c\/strong\u003e and candy combo. The \u003cstrong\u003e\"I Heard You Needed Some Dick\" Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e is here to deliver humor, sweetness, and a playful dose of sass to anyone who could use a good laugh (and maybe a little “dick”) this holiday. Whether it’s for your partner, bestie, or that one friend who’s always joking about needing a chocolate penis, this bundle is the perfect mix of sweet and cheeky fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Included in This Hilarious Valentine’s Day Bundle:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🍫 \u003cstrong\u003eChocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e: A rich, indulgent chocolate penis made with premium Peruvian cacao that’s as delicious as it is daring. Perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh with their dessert.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🍬 \u003cstrong\u003eHeartfelt Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e: Sweet, fruity gummy dicks that are the ultimate Valentine’s candy for someone who needs to “eat a bag of dicks” in the most delicious way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🍫 \u003cstrong\u003eChocolate Cock – Valentine’s Edition\u003c\/strong\u003e: A second chocolate masterpiece because one \u003cstrong\u003echocolate cock\u003c\/strong\u003e just isn’t enough! This bold treat is perfect for snacking and sharing (or keeping all to yourself).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🍆 \u003cstrong\u003eA Dash of Self-Love\u003c\/strong\u003e: The bundle also features a cheeky self-care surprise because Valentine’s Day is all about loving yourself—literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s the Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❤️ \u003cstrong\u003eFor Your Partner\u003c\/strong\u003e: Remind them how sweet (and funny) love can be with a delicious \u003cstrong\u003echocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e and some Valentine’s candy they’ll never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e😂 \u003cstrong\u003eFor Your Single Friends\u003c\/strong\u003e: Joking about needing dick on Valentine’s Day? Problem solved—this bundle’s got chocolate, candy, and laughs to spare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💔 \u003cstrong\u003eFor Your Ex\u003c\/strong\u003e: Because nothing says “closure” like sending them a bag of dicks or a \u003cstrong\u003echocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e with a side of sass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong\u003eFor Anyone Who Needs a Laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e: The perfect mix of humor, sweetness, and inappropriate fun for friends, coworkers, or Galentines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy Everyone Loves It:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDelicious Treats\u003c\/strong\u003e: From fruity gummy dicks to rich, velvety \u003cstrong\u003echocolate cock\u003c\/strong\u003e, there’s something for every sweet tooth.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnforgettable Humor\u003c\/strong\u003e: The ultimate gag gift that’s bold, funny, and absolutely unforgettable.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePerfectly Themed for Valentine’s Day\u003c\/strong\u003e: Whether it’s love, laughter, or sweet revenge, this bundle covers it all.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"bundle variant #1","offer_id":41800976498772,"sku":null,"price":80.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #2","offer_id":41800976531540,"sku":null,"price":84.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #3","offer_id":41800976564308,"sku":null,"price":90.24,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #4","offer_id":41800976597076,"sku":null,"price":94.04,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #5","offer_id":41800976629844,"sku":null,"price":99.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #6","offer_id":41800976662612,"sku":null,"price":103.52,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #7","offer_id":41800976695380,"sku":null,"price":108.45,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #8","offer_id":41800976728148,"sku":null,"price":112.24,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #9","offer_id":41800976760916,"sku":null,"price":120.59,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #10","offer_id":41800976793684,"sku":null,"price":124.39,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #11","offer_id":41800976826452,"sku":null,"price":144.1,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #12","offer_id":41800976859220,"sku":null,"price":147.9,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/valentines-day-bundle-the-dick-gift-set-5545704.png?v=1755878734"},{"product_id":"the-dark-chocolate-cock-eat-a-dick","title":"The Dark Chocolate Cock - Eat A Dick","description":"\u003chr data-end=\"141\" data-start=\"138\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"223\" data-start=\"143\"\u003eThe Dark Chocolate Cock – The Sweetest Way to Tell Someone to Eat a Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"303\" data-start=\"225\"\u003eSome gifts say “I care.”\u003cbr data-end=\"252\" data-start=\"249\"\u003eThis one says \u003cstrong data-end=\"301\" data-start=\"266\"\u003e“I care… but also, eat a dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"564\" data-start=\"305\"\u003eMeet the \u003cstrong data-end=\"337\" data-start=\"314\"\u003eDark Chocolate Cock\u003c\/strong\u003e – a solid, 4 to 5.5-inch slab of gluten-free Peruvian cacao shaped exactly like a penis. Yes, it’s edible. Yes, it’s delicious. And yes, it’s going to make whoever gets it laugh, blush, and maybe question their life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"811\" data-start=\"566\"\u003eYou can send flowers, sure. Or… you can send a big, beautiful, edible dick in a discreet box. \u003cstrong data-end=\"718\" data-start=\"660\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now and make their day unforgettable\u003c\/strong\u003e – whether it’s out of love, revenge, or just because you’re a chaotic good kind of person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"816\" data-start=\"813\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"851\" data-start=\"818\"\u003eWhy This is the Perfect Gift\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1027\" data-start=\"853\"\u003eLife’s too short for boring presents. You’ve got two choices: buy them another scented candle they’ll never use, or send them a dark chocolate penis they’ll \u003cem data-end=\"1024\" data-start=\"1010\"\u003enever forget\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1285\" data-start=\"1029\"\u003eThis isn’t some cheap gag candy that tastes like wax. This is rich, smooth, premium Peruvian dark chocolate – but molded into the shape of a cock. It’s the perfect mix of classy and trashy. They’ll get the joke… but they’ll also actually enjoy eating it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1473\" data-start=\"1287\"\u003eWhether you’re saying “Happy Birthday,” “Congrats on the divorce,” or “Thanks for being a dick – here’s one for you,” this chocolate masterpiece gets the message across loud and clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1478\" data-start=\"1475\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1526\" data-start=\"1480\"\u003eA Story You’ll Want to Tell Over and Over\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1741\" data-start=\"1528\"\u003ePicture this: your friend opens the discreet little box, expecting… who knows what. Jewelry? A heartfelt note? Then they pull back the wrapping and \u003cem data-end=\"1682\" data-start=\"1676\"\u003eboom\u003c\/em\u003e – staring them in the face is a solid chocolate schlong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1771\" data-start=\"1743\"\u003eOne customer said it best:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"1773\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"1775\"\u003e“Imagine your billion dollar company cans you two months before your five-year anniversary with zero notice. A few months later, you think… wait, I can send the president of the company a chocolate surprise. Made me laugh and feel better. And yes, I hope he sees this too – ahahahahahhaahahah!!!!! It worked.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2111\" data-start=\"2088\"\u003eAnother fan favorite:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2272\" data-start=\"2113\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2272\" data-start=\"2115\"\u003e“Even with a Google Pay glitch, customer service made sure it got to the right destination. I’ve used this company twice and I’ve never been disappointed.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2301\" data-start=\"2274\"\u003eAnd my personal favorite:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2405\" data-start=\"2303\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2405\" data-start=\"2305\"\u003e“Great experience. Easy purchase. Delivered as promised.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2365\" data-start=\"2362\"\u003eTranslation: Yes, they got their dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2410\" data-start=\"2407\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2445\" data-start=\"2412\"\u003eWhat You’re Actually Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2743\" data-start=\"2447\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2500\" data-start=\"2447\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2500\" data-start=\"2449\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2498\" data-start=\"2449\"\u003e4 to 5.5 inches of solid dark chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2614\" data-start=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2614\" data-start=\"2503\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2546\" data-start=\"2503\"\u003e3 to 4 ounces of premium Peruvian cacao\u003c\/strong\u003e – gluten-free, so even the health nuts can suck on it guilt-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2695\" data-start=\"2615\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2695\" data-start=\"2617\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2639\" data-start=\"2617\"\u003eDiscreet packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e – no one will know what’s inside until it’s too late.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2743\" data-start=\"2696\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2743\" data-start=\"2698\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2722\" data-start=\"2698\"\u003eHilarious and edible\u003c\/strong\u003e – a perfect combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2748\" data-start=\"2745\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2767\" data-start=\"2750\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2935\" data-start=\"2769\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2791\" data-start=\"2769\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2791\" data-start=\"2771\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2812\" data-start=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2812\" data-start=\"2794\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2832\" data-start=\"2813\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2832\" data-start=\"2815\"\u003eBreakup revenge\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2857\" data-start=\"2833\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2857\" data-start=\"2835\"\u003eBachelorette parties\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2886\" data-start=\"2858\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2886\" data-start=\"2860\"\u003e“Just because” surprises\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2935\" data-start=\"2887\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2935\" data-start=\"2889\"\u003eThat friend who says they’ve seen everything\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2940\" data-start=\"2937\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2974\" data-start=\"2942\"\u003ePro Tips for Maximum Impact\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"3158\" data-start=\"2976\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3017\" data-start=\"2976\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3017\" data-start=\"2979\"\u003eOrder it anonymously for peak chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3083\" data-start=\"3018\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3083\" data-start=\"3021\"\u003eAdd your own note – sweet, sarcastic, or straight-up savage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3158\" data-start=\"3084\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3158\" data-start=\"3087\"\u003eSit back and wait for the text that says, “WTF did you just send me?”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3163\" data-start=\"3160\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3207\" data-start=\"3165\"\u003eThe Sweet Taste of Petty Satisfaction\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3365\" data-start=\"3209\"\u003eSure, you could send an edible arrangement. But will they tell \u003cem data-end=\"3278\" data-start=\"3272\"\u003ethat\u003c\/em\u003e story at every party for the next year? Nope. This, though… this is legend material.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3525\" data-start=\"3367\"\u003eThe Dark Chocolate Cock isn’t just a treat – it’s a statement. It’s the edible equivalent of a mic drop. A sweet, cocoa-rich middle finger wrapped in humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3530\" data-start=\"3527\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3757\" data-start=\"3532\"\u003e🎯 \u003cstrong data-end=\"3560\" data-start=\"3535\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send someone the most delicious, most inappropriate gift they’ll ever unwrap. Whether they laugh, blush, or choke on it (hey, it’s possible), one thing’s for sure – they’ll never forget you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3757\" data-start=\"3532\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate Dick","offer_id":41835942903892,"sku":"DARKCHOCODICK","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bach Shit Crazy","offer_id":41835955650644,"sku":"DARKCHOCODICKBACH","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Nuts About You Box","offer_id":41835943002196,"sku":"NUTSABOUTYOUDARKCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Christmas Box","offer_id":41835942936660,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODICKDARK","price":21.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"There's Something Fabulous In There Pride Box","offer_id":41835943034964,"sku":"FABULOUSDARKCHOCO","price":21.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-dark-chocolate-cock-eat-a-dick-1763557.jpg?v=1755878737"},{"product_id":"valentines-dick-edible-arrangement","title":"The Naughty Valentine’s Edible Arrangement: Chocolate Dicks, Gummy Dicks \u0026 Chocolate Buttholes","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Naughty Valentine’s Edible Arrangement: Chocolate Dicks, Gummy Dicks \u0026amp; Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLooking for a \u003cstrong\u003ehilarious, slightly scandalous Valentine’s gift\u003c\/strong\u003e? Skip the cliché heart-shaped box and go straight for an \u003cstrong\u003eNSFW edible arrangement\u003c\/strong\u003e packed with \u003cstrong\u003emilk chocolate dicks, chewy gummy dicks, and rich dark chocolate buttholes.\u003c\/strong\u003e This bundle is \u003cstrong\u003ethe ultimate mix of sweet, sassy, and a little sinful.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💖 \u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Inside?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🍆 \u003cstrong\u003e\"Be Mine\" Solid Milk Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because nothing says \"love\" like a thick, handcrafted chocolate surprise.\u003cbr\u003e🍫 \u003cstrong\u003e\"Nuts About You\" Dark Chocolate Dick with Crunchy Nuts\u003c\/strong\u003e – Tell them how crazy you are about them with SECOND chocolate dick\u003cbr\u003e🍑 \u003cstrong\u003e\"Eat Ass\" Dark Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because sometimes, dessert is all about the backside.\u003cbr\u003e🍬 \u003cstrong\u003e\"I Thought You Could Use Some Dick\" Fruity Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – A chewy, flavorful way to say \"You're on my mind.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎯 \u003cstrong\u003eWho’s This For?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eThe Valentine with a wild sense of humor\u003c\/strong\u003e (\u003cem\u003ebecause regular chocolate is just too basic\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eThat single friend who keeps saying they “need some dick”\u003c\/strong\u003e (\u003cem\u003ewe’re just here to help\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eA bachelorette, bachelor, or Galentine’s party\u003c\/strong\u003e (\u003cem\u003ethis candy gets people talking\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eAnyone who appreciates top-tier chocolate with a side of laughter\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💝 \u003cstrong\u003eSweet, spicy, and guaranteed to get a reaction.\u003c\/strong\u003e This isn’t just a gift—it’s a conversation starter, a memory-maker, and the best way to send a message they won’t forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e👉 \u003cem\u003eStock is limited—grab yours before they’re gone!\u003c\/em\u003e Because nothing lasts forever… except our dedication to shipping dicks across the country.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Regular","offer_id":41859034939476,"sku":null,"price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-naughty-valentines-edible-arrangement-chocolate-dicks-gummy-dicks-chocolate-buttholes-3757470.png?v=1755878738"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-poop-emoji-glitter-cannon-prank","title":"Spring Loaded Poop Emoji Glitter Cannon Prank","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"178\" data-end=\"228\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpring Loaded Poop Emoji Glitter Cannon Prank\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"230\" data-end=\"333\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"230\" data-end=\"331\"\u003eBecause sometimes words just aren’t enough… you have to send someone a face full of sparkly poop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"682\"\u003eYou know that one person who’s been begging for a little “special attention”? Maybe it’s your ex, your roommate who keeps “borrowing” your stuff, or your friend who still owes you $20 from 2017. Now you can give them the ultimate gift - a \u003cstrong data-start=\"574\" data-end=\"615\"\u003espring loaded poop emoji glitter bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e that explodes in their face like a brown, sparkly middle finger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"684\" data-end=\"955\"\u003eThis isn’t some sad sprinkle in an envelope. This is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"739\" data-end=\"765\"\u003eweaponized poop cannon\u003c\/strong\u003e in disguise, locked and loaded to fire an avalanche of glittery turds the moment they crack it open. And the best part? It ships 100% anonymously. You’re the ghost of petty revenge, baby.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"1033\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"1031\"\u003eOrder now before you change your mind and settle for something boring.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1035\" data-end=\"1038\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1100\"\u003eWhy This Poop Cannon is a Work of Art in Petty Warfare\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1101\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003eThere are pranks, and then there are \u003cem data-start=\"1138\" data-end=\"1146\"\u003epranks\u003c\/em\u003e. This thing is like the Mona Lisa of revenge gifts. Here’s why:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1240\"\u003eDisguised packaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Looks like a harmless incense tube until… boom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003eExplosive delivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e The spring mechanism launches poop emoji confetti in all directions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1388\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1430\"\u003eMaximum chaos, zero cleanup for you:\u003c\/strong\u003e They deal with the mess. You deal with the satisfaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1490\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003eUniversal appeal:\u003c\/strong\u003e Poop jokes never go out of style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1551\" data-end=\"1701\"\u003eIf you’re looking for an \u003cstrong data-start=\"1576\" data-end=\"1595\"\u003eanonymous prank\u003c\/strong\u003e that’s equal parts savage and hilarious, this is your golden ticket - or rather, brown glittery ticket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1703\" data-end=\"1706\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1708\" data-end=\"1753\"\u003eThe Scene: Instant, Unforgettable Chaos\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1754\" data-end=\"1960\"\u003eImagine this. Your target receives a mysterious tube. Curiosity takes over. They pop it open. Suddenly - \u003cstrong data-start=\"1859\" data-end=\"1869\"\u003eKABOOM\u003c\/strong\u003e - a tidal wave of glittery poop emojis blasts across their floor, couch, hair, and soul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1962\" data-end=\"2159\"\u003eIt’s too late for them to stop it. They’re sparkling like a fabulous turd, wondering what life choices brought them here. Meanwhile, you’re somewhere else, sipping coffee, grinning like a maniac.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2161\" data-end=\"2164\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2166\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2503\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2204\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Fake incense tube for stealth delivery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2262\"\u003eMechanism:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring-loaded glitter cannon\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2294\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2308\"\u003ePayload:\u003c\/strong\u003e Poop emoji confetti for maximum humiliation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2355\" data-end=\"2387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2357\" data-end=\"2387\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2357\" data-end=\"2370\"\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% anonymous\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2503\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2503\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2404\"\u003eOccasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Breakup joke, birthday surprise, revenge glitter bomb, poop-themed prank war, anonymous gag gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2505\" data-end=\"2508\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2510\" data-end=\"2544\"\u003eWays to Take It Over the Top\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2545\" data-end=\"2787\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2545\" data-end=\"2637\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2547\" data-end=\"2637\"\u003ePair it with a card from our \u003cstrong data-start=\"2576\" data-end=\"2606\"\u003eglitter bomb greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e collection for a double hit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2638\" data-end=\"2726\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2640\" data-end=\"2726\"\u003eSend it alongside our \u003cstrong data-start=\"2662\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e gummies for the ultimate one-two punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2727\" data-end=\"2787\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2729\" data-end=\"2787\"\u003eMail it during a holiday for extra “Why me?!” confusion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2789\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2794\" data-end=\"2810\"\u003eFinal Word\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2811\" data-end=\"2878\"\u003eLife’s too short for boring revenge. Go big. Go sparkly. Go poop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2880\" data-end=\"3124\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"2884\" data-end=\"2933\"\u003eSpring Loaded Poop Emoji Glitter Cannon Prank\u003c\/strong\u003e is your fast-track to legend status in the prank hall of fame. They’ll be picking glitter out of their carpet for months, and every time they find another poop emoji, they’ll think of you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3126\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3126\" data-end=\"3187\"\u003eClick Add to Cart and let the shitty glitter storm begin.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3126\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Poop Emojis","offer_id":41913576816724,"sku":"POOPBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double Poop Emojis","offer_id":41913576849492,"sku":"DOUBLEPOOPBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop \u0026 Trouser Snake Confetti","offer_id":41913576882260,"sku":"POOPANDDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop \u0026 Baby Batter Confetti","offer_id":41913576915028,"sku":"POOPANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop Confetti \u0026 Glitter","offer_id":41913576947796,"sku":"POOPANDGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop \u0026 Trouser Snake \u0026 Baby Batter","offer_id":41913576980564,"sku":"POOPANDDICKANDJIZZBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-poop-prank-bundle-5117254.jpg?v=1755878741"},{"product_id":"happy-fin-surprise-glitter-card","title":"Happy F'in Surprise Glitter Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"151\" data-end=\"187\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy F’in Surprise Glitter Card\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"189\" data-end=\"309\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"189\" data-end=\"307\"\u003eIt’s the birthday card that says “I care” and then immediately says “Screw you” in a sparkling explosion of chaos.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"311\" data-end=\"701\"\u003eIf you want to make someone laugh, gasp, swear, and regret opening their mail all in one glorious moment, this is it. The \u003cem data-start=\"433\" data-end=\"467\"\u003eHappy F’in Surprise Glitter Card\u003c\/em\u003e is not your grandma’s Hallmark. This bad boy hides a glitter payload that goes off the second they open it, covering their clothes, hair, and possibly their cat in enough sparkles to make them look like a low-budget Vegas showgirl.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"703\" data-end=\"869\"\u003eYou’re not just sending a card. You’re sending a memory. And by “memory,” I mean a glittery mess they’ll be vacuuming for the next six months while thinking of you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"957\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"955\"\u003eOrder now. Make them laugh. Make them cry. Make them sparkle against their will.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"962\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"964\" data-end=\"998\"\u003eWhy This Card Wins Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1002\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1002\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003eIt’s anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e so they’ll have no idea which “friend” did this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1142\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1074\" data-end=\"1142\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1074\" data-end=\"1096\"\u003eIt’s instant chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e - they open it, boom, it’s raining glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1143\" data-end=\"1235\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1145\" data-end=\"1235\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1145\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003eIt works for everything\u003c\/strong\u003e - birthdays, revenge, or just because you’re a lovable jerk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1236\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1238\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1238\" data-end=\"1277\"\u003eIt’s impossible to clean completely\u003c\/strong\u003e - the gift that keeps on giving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1314\" data-end=\"1458\"\u003eThis isn’t just a glitter card prank. This is the \u003cem data-start=\"1364\" data-end=\"1389\"\u003eprank card with glitter\u003c\/em\u003e that turns your “Happy Birthday” into “Ha, clean that up, sucker.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1460\" data-end=\"1463\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1465\" data-end=\"1498\"\u003eHow The Glitter Ambush Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"1500\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1500\" data-end=\"1553\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1503\" data-end=\"1553\"\u003eYou order it like the sneaky mastermind you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1622\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1557\" data-end=\"1622\"\u003eWe prep the card with enough glitter to make a unicorn jealous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1623\" data-end=\"1676\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1626\" data-end=\"1676\"\u003eWe mail it directly to your unsuspecting target.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1677\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1680\" data-end=\"1745\"\u003eThey open it thinking, “Aw, how sweet…” and then it’s too late.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1747\" data-end=\"1829\"\u003eGlitter’s in their hair, on their couch, and somehow inside their shoe. You win.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1831\" data-end=\"1834\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1836\" data-end=\"1866\"\u003eReal-Life Glitter Carnage\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1868\" data-end=\"2102\"\u003eWe’ve had customers say it’s the funniest and most evil thing they’ve ever sent. Some relationships have grown stronger from the laughter. Others… not so much. But all of them have one thing in common - \u003cstrong data-start=\"2071\" data-end=\"2099\"\u003enobody forgets this card\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2104\" data-end=\"2107\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2109\" data-end=\"2129\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2131\" data-end=\"2446\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2131\" data-end=\"2202\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2133\" data-end=\"2202\"\u003eStandard-size folded greeting card made from high-quality cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2277\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2277\"\u003ePacked with non-toxic, easy-to-clean glitter (but honestly, good luck)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2278\" data-end=\"2304\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2280\" data-end=\"2304\"\u003eShips 100% anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2367\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2367\"\u003eBlank interior for your own message - sweet, mean, or both\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2368\" data-end=\"2446\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2370\" data-end=\"2446\"\u003ePerfect for birthdays, office gags, petty revenge, or random acts of chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2448\" data-end=\"2451\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2453\" data-end=\"2467\"\u003eYour Move\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2469\" data-end=\"2632\"\u003eYou can send a boring “Congrats” card that ends up in the trash… or you can send a \u003cem data-start=\"2552\" data-end=\"2586\"\u003eHappy F’in Surprise Glitter Card\u003c\/em\u003e that ends up everywhere else in their life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2634\" data-end=\"2747\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2634\" data-end=\"2745\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and give someone the sparkling disaster they never asked for but will never forget.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Activated","offer_id":41925166530644,"sku":"gbcFING2-8","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Not Activated","offer_id":41925166563412,"sku":"gbcFING2","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/happy-fin-surprise-glitter-card-2326635.jpg?v=1755878733"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-chocolate-dick-copy","title":"Trick Or Treat - Halloween Themed Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDick-or-Treat! \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLimited Edition Halloween Chocolate Dick\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis candy isn't one you had out to the kids on the block, this 5.5 inch chocolate dick is the perfect trick (and treat), to bring to your adult costume party or to play a prank and send to your friend anonymously.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWrapped in our Trick-or-Treat sleeve with “Happy Halloween” screaming across it, this sweet and slightly scandalous treat is the ultimate prank-gift crossover. It’s equal parts trick, treat, and WTF did you just send me?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Your friend who loves Halloween a little too much\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat ex who ghosted you last October\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eAnyone who deserves a good laugh (or a good scare)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEach chocolate masterpiece is hand-poured, solid milk chocolate, and 100% ready to haunt someone’s sweet tooth. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWarning: Side effects may include uncontrollable laughter, blushing, and proudly yelling “Dick-or-Treat, bitches!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLimited Halloween drop, once they’re gone, they’re six feet under.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42613165293652,"sku":"HALLOWEENCHOCHOCOLATED","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/trick-or-treat-halloween-themed-chocolate-dick-5297338.jpg?v=1761334315"},{"product_id":"surprise-gourmet-chocolate-gag-gift-poop-shaped-chocolate","title":"The Dollop - Poop-Shaped Chocolate Surprise Gourmet Chocolate Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eGive someone the ultimate prank gift that actually tastes amazing. Inside this plain, anonymous box is a premium milk-chocolate piece molded into a cheeky poop shaped rich, creamy, and completely edible. It’s perfect for birthdays, breakups, coworker roasts, or any time you want to send a hilarious (and tasty!) message.\u003cbr\u003eWhat’s included:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne realistic poop-shaped premium milk chocolate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDiscreet plain box- no branding, no receipt, no clue who sent it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDelivered anonymously for maximum prank impact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy you’ll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWay funnier than a card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTaste beats the joke every time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWorks for anyone with a sense of humor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEasy, memorable, and guaranteed to get a reaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow to use it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAdd recipient name \u0026amp; shipping address at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSit back while they open the box… confusion. laughter. then delicious chocolate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnjoy your moment of comedic revenge (or gift-giving glory).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the poop. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":42731846107220,"sku":"ES-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Double Shits (Save 10%)","offer_id":42731846139988,"sku":"ES-2","price":28.78,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Triple Shits (Save 20%)","offer_id":42731846172756,"sku":"ES-3","price":38.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/the-poop-prank-bundle-5734396.jpg?v=1762196781"},{"product_id":"you-might-be-a-dick-but-youre-my-dick-pop-up-dick-card","title":"You Might Be A Dick, But You're My Dick Pop-Up Dick Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"127\"\u003eTrue Love Means Settling - And Laughing About It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"129\" data-end=\"558\"\u003eThere comes a day in every relationship when you stop chasing butterflies and start chasing your partner’s farts out of the sheets. And that, my friend, is when you know you’ve found \u003cem data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"321\"\u003ethe one\u003c\/em\u003e. The one dick. The same dick. \u003cstrong data-start=\"352\" data-end=\"364\"\u003eForever.\u003c\/strong\u003e So celebrate that oddly comforting, mildly frustrating, and occasionally disappointing reality with the \u003cstrong\u003eYou're MY Dick \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"495\"\u003eCard\u003c\/strong\u003e - a brutally honest love letter to your eternal penis partner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003eBuy now if you're brave enough to admit monogamy is just loving the same genitals on loop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"659\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"661\" data-end=\"713\"\u003eBecause Flowers Die, But Dick Jokes Live Forever\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"1032\"\u003eLet’s skip the sappy cards that pretend you still text each other “good morning” unironically. You’ve been through it. The fights, the makeup sex, the awkward family holidays, and that one time you both got food poisoning and still high-fived through it. You’re locked in. And not just emotionally - but anatomically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eYou're MY Dick \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1038\" data-end=\"1080\"\u003eCard\u003c\/strong\u003e says what Hallmark never will. It’s the only Valentine’s Day card that dares to honor the penis that’s been disappointing you since the first drunken hookup. And honestly? That kind of consistency deserves a standing ovation. Or at least a sarcastic applause and this card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1361\" data-end=\"1411\"\u003eA Love Story Told in One Blunt, Hilarious Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1728\"\u003eFlashback: You met. You flirted. You banged. You texted. You banged again. Eventually, you started leaving toothbrushes at each other’s place. Then came the “What are we?” talk, the “Let’s move in” moment, and the eventual horror realization that you’ve been staring at the same damn peen since Obama was in office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1730\" data-end=\"1865\"\u003eBut here you are. Still together. Still tolerating each other. Still making dick jokes to hide how deeply you actually love each other.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1867\" data-end=\"1885\"\u003eThis card gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1887\" data-end=\"1890\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1892\" data-end=\"1947\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Getting, You Brave Romantic, You\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"1982\"\u003eCard\u003c\/strong\u003e featuring the glorious phrase “ You're MY Dick” - just in case they forgot what they signed up for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2106\"\u003eOptional add-ons\u003c\/strong\u003e like a bag of dicks, because why stop at a card when you can double down on dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - so if you're secretly roasting a situationship, your secret’s safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2294\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003ePrinted on thick, quality cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e - unlike that limp noodle you’re roasting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2398\"\u003eBlank interior\u003c\/strong\u003e - for your own crude message, heartfelt apology, or explicit drawing of what “forever dick” looks like\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2503\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2508\" data-end=\"2576\"\u003ePerfect For These Deliciously Petty, Painfully Relatable Moments\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2607\"\u003eValentine’s Day sarcasm\u003c\/strong\u003e - Let Cupid choke on this card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2639\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2661\"\u003eAnniversary gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - Celebrate another 365 days of that familiar shaft\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2714\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2742\"\u003eFunny gift for couples\u003c\/strong\u003e - Because therapy’s expensive and laughter’s free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2793\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2821\"\u003eRelationship milestone\u003c\/strong\u003e - Make your 5-year mark with a card that screams “you’re stuck now”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2890\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2914\"\u003ePetty revenge gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - For the one you love and lowkey hate at the same time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2972\" data-end=\"2975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2977\" data-end=\"3023\"\u003eMake ‘Em Laugh, Cringe, and Probably Blush\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eThis isn’t just a card. It’s a commitment wrapped in sarcasm, dipped in honesty, and served with a side of “Yep... this is our life now.” Whether you’re the kind of couple that has matching socks or the kind that argues over whose turn it is to buy toilet paper, this card is your anthem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3492\"\u003eSo if your idea of romance involves brutally honest jokes, relentless sarcasm, and a complete lack of emotional boundaries - \u003cstrong data-start=\"3440\" data-end=\"3459\"\u003econgratulations\u003c\/strong\u003e. You’ve found your perfect card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3494\" data-end=\"3497\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3499\" data-end=\"3577\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” Before Your Partner Realizes They Could’ve Done Better\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003eWhy wait? Show them you care \u003cem data-start=\"3608\" data-end=\"3616\"\u003eenough\u003c\/em\u003e to get them a card. But not so much that it doesn’t come with a solid dick roast.  You're MY Dick - because at this point, what choice do you really have?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46864775413844,"sku":"YOUREMYDICKCARD","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/you-might-be-a-dick-but-youre-my-dick-pop-up-dick-card-9709888.webp?v=1778917993"}],"url":"https:\/\/dicksbymail.com\/collections\/more-anonymous-pranks\/chocolate-poo.oembed","provider":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}