{"title":"Bags of Dicks","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks-sent-anonymously","title":"Bag of Dicks - Sent Anonymously","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks (Anonymously) - The Pettiest Gift You’ll Ever Love\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet’s be real. There’s someone in your life who absolutely, without question, deserves to eat a bag of dicks. Maybe it’s your loudmouth buddy. Maybe it’s your ex-best friend. Maybe it’s just your mom... apparently. Whoever it is, now you can \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003email a bag of dicks anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and let the candy do the talking.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis isn’t a cheap prank. This is \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003edicks by mail\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e done right - fruity, chewy, and offensive in the best way possible. You pick the victim, we ship the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. No names. No clues. Just a surprise that screams: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Hey you, eat a bag of dicks.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e👉 \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScroll up and smash that Add to Cart button. Do it. You know who this is for.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy Would Anyone Send a Bag of Dicks?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause flowers wilt and teddy bears are for virgins. But a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebox of dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e? That’s a legacy move.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e This is how legends prank. This is \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ehow to send a bag of dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and sleep like a baby after.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePetty revenge\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e with a sugar-coated smile\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBirthday or gag gifts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that ruin expectations in the best way\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBachelorette parties\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that need more 🍆 energy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOr just because it’s a Wednesday and your group chat needs chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey’ll Never See It Coming (But They’ll Never Forget It)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImagine this:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e They get a cute, innocent-looking floral gift bag. They smile. They open it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e And BAM - \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Eat A Bag Of Dicks”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring them in the face like a middle finger dipped in sugar.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThen they find 10 glorious \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003edick gummies\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e in red, green, and blue.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCherry. Green apple. Blue raspberry.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Tastes like regret.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s what actual customers said:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“She loved them and exclaimed, ‘They were bigger than expected,’ with a huge smile on her face.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Sent a package to a friend who took less than 10 minutes to figure out who sent it. We both had a good laugh.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “I sent this to my mom for her birthday. She absolutely loved it!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYep. Even moms love a good \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egummy bag of dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. What a world.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat’s in This Bag of Dicks?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis isn’t your average candy. This is elite-level, semi-phallic, prank snackery.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s what you get when you ship a bag of dicks:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🍒 10 premium gummy dicks - 4 red, 3 green, 3 blue\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🌸 A floral gift bag that’s cute until it isn’t\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e💌 Optional Happy Birthday box or card - because you’re thoughtful like that\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🎉 Add-ons like glitter or \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003edick confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e (you're a monster)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🤫 Anonymous delivery. No paper trail. We don’t snitch.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStill Wondering If You Should Send a Dick?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet me be clear:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWant to \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003esend someone a bag of dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and walk away like a legend? ✅\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWant to make someone laugh, scream, or side-eye their whole friend group? ✅\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWant to say “suck a bag of dicks” without opening your mouth? ✅\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWant to sprinkle in some \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003epenis confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e like it’s emotional shrapnel? ✅\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYeah, this is for you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhether you’re going subtle with a basic \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of dicks gummy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or going full psychopath with glitter and \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003emini dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, it’s the prank that keeps on giving - in the mail, in their mouth, in their memories.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOne Final Thing…\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you’re still scrolling, you already know what to do.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Go back to the top.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHit that Add to Cart button\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e like it insulted your grandma.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Choose your options. Confetti? Card? Glitter? (Yes. Always yes.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd then? Sit back and wait. Because nothing feels better than knowing somewhere, someone just opened a gift and whispered...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“This… could be a bag of dicks.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-58af14fb-7fff-73e4-d981-12b02d14a458\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFinal reminder: Your target deserves it. You know they do.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart. Mail Dicks. Wreak Delicious Havoc.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\" style=\"font-size: xx-small;\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"---- \/ ----","offer_id":29025852365,"sku":"BOD","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Glitter - Add Glitter to their package! \/ ----","offer_id":29025823309,"sku":"BOD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-shaped confetti! \/ ----","offer_id":29025830541,"sku":"BOD+GLITTER-DICK","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Double the Dicks! - Add a Bag for 1\/2 off!","offer_id":31442059405,"sku":"2XBOD","price":23.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Glitter - Add Glitter to their package! \/ Double the Dicks! - Add a Bag for 1\/2 off!","offer_id":31442064589,"sku":"2XBOD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-shaped confetti! \/ Double the Dicks! - Add a Bag for 1\/2 off!","offer_id":31442081869,"sku":"2XBOD+GLITTER-DICK","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday (Eat a Bag of Dicks) Card!","offer_id":33415993293,"sku":"BOD+BDAYBODCARD","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Glitter - Add Glitter to their package! \/ Happy Birthday (Eat a Bag of Dicks) Card!","offer_id":33416054285,"sku":"BOD+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-shaped confetti! \/ Happy Birthday (Eat a Bag of Dicks) Card!","offer_id":33416079885,"sku":"BOD+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":36537404877,"sku":"BOD+HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Glitter - Add Glitter to their package! \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":36537431821,"sku":"BOD+HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-shaped confetti! \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":36537441613,"sku":"BOD+HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215847245,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BIRTHYDAYBOD-1+BDAYBODCARD","price":21.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-shaped confetti! \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215860109,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BIRTHDAYBOD-1+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Glitter - Add Glitter to their package! \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":27979204526164,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BIRTHDAYBOD-1+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/bag-of-dicks-sent-anonymously-4684652.jpg?v=1755879326"},{"product_id":"gummy-boobs-new-product","title":"Bag of Tits!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"122\" data-end=\"186\"\u003eBag of Tits – Because Sometimes a Card Just Won’t Cut It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"188\" data-end=\"438\"\u003eListen, life’s too short for boring gifts. You could send a boring “Happy Birthday” text, or you could send a sealed bag of \u003cstrong data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"340\"\u003esweet, chewy, gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e with a message like “Suck a Bag of Tits” or “Calm Your Tits.” Guess which one they’ll remember?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"475\"\u003eSpoiler alert: It’s not the text.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"477\" data-end=\"720\"\u003eThese aren’t just any gummy candies - these are perfectly shaped, squishy, boob-shaped confections that say exactly what you’re thinking without you having to pick up the phone. Funny? Yes. Inappropriate? Absolutely. Delicious? Oh, hell yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"722\" data-end=\"824\"\u003eSo stop playing it safe. \u003cstrong data-start=\"747\" data-end=\"822\"\u003eClick Add to Cart, send them a bag of tits, and watch the chaos unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"829\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"871\"\u003eWhy This Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"873\" data-end=\"986\"\u003eWe live in a world of Amazon wish lists and “thanks for the gift card” texts. Predictable. Boring. Forgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003eNow picture this:\u003cbr data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1008\"\u003eThey open a mysterious, anonymous package. They see the words “You’re the Tits.” Inside? An entire bag of gummy boobs, bouncing around in their sweet little candy perfection. Maybe you went full savage and added the glitter option - now they’re shaking glitter out of their hair while chewing a boob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1312\" data-end=\"1339\"\u003eThis is a gift that says:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e“I care about you… but I’m also here to make your day weird.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003e“You matter to me… just not enough to send a Hallmark card.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e“I’m a good friend, but also a menace to society.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1530\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1532\" data-end=\"1597\"\u003eThe Gift That Keeps on Giving (And Sticking to Their Carpet)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1599\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003eIt’s not just about the candy. It’s about the \u003cem data-start=\"1645\" data-end=\"1653\"\u003emoment\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1658\" data-end=\"1917\"\u003eYour buddy opens the bag during a livestream and loses it on camera.\u003cbr data-start=\"1726\" data-end=\"1729\"\u003eYour friend’s birthday party goes from PG to “what the hell is wrong with you?” in two seconds flat.\u003cbr data-start=\"1829\" data-end=\"1832\"\u003eYour glitter-add-on choice leaves their kitchen looking like a strip club exploded.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1919\" data-end=\"1970\"\u003eThese are not just gummy tits. They are memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1972\" data-end=\"1975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1977\" data-end=\"2003\"\u003eReal Customer Stories\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2005\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2007\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e“Sent it to a guy I knew would appreciate them. On a live stream, he was happier than a kid on Christmas morning.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2124\"\u003e“Love it - had lots of laughs. I put the glitter option on the bag of tits and it was everywhere! I’ll be ordering again soon for a friend’s b-day.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2274\" data-end=\"2277\"\u003e“Got some tits for my daughter’s birthday and they were a big hit!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2350\" data-end=\"2353\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2355\" data-end=\"2386\"\u003eWhat You’re Really Sending\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2474\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003eA sealed bag of gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e – soft, fruity, and shaped for maximum awkwardness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2475\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2477\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2477\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003eStock message of your choice\u003c\/strong\u003e – “You’re the Tits,” “Suck a Bag of Tits,” “Enjoy Your Boobies,” “Calm Your Tits.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2624\"\u003eOptional glitter add-on\u003c\/strong\u003e – because why stop at awkward when you can make it messy?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2685\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2687\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2687\" data-end=\"2709\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e – they’ll never know it was you… unless you crack and tell them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2778\" data-end=\"2781\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2783\" data-end=\"2800\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"2866\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2866\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2826\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e – way better than another candle set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2867\" data-end=\"2951\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2951\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2902\"\u003eBachelor\/Bachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e – something to snack on between bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2952\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"2974\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e – strike and vanish like a true candy assassin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003eJust because\u003c\/strong\u003e – sometimes you just gotta send someone a bag of tits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3102\" data-end=\"3105\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3107\" data-end=\"3130\"\u003eHow to Pull It Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3132\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3132\" data-end=\"3155\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3135\" data-end=\"3155\"\u003ePick your message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3156\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3159\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003eDecide if you want to add glitter for maximum destruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3220\" data-end=\"3245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3223\" data-end=\"3245\"\u003eShip it anonymously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3246\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3249\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eWait for the text, the call, or the public Instagram meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3318\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3320\" data-end=\"3338\"\u003eThe Aftermath\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3340\" data-end=\"3415\"\u003eThis isn’t the type of gift that gets a polite “thanks.” Nope. This gets:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3418\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003eA shocked laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3437\" data-end=\"3472\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3439\" data-end=\"3472\"\u003eA room full of confused people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3473\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3475\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003eA lifelong story where your name is mentioned right before “absolute legend.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3556\" data-end=\"3660\"\u003eBecause anyone can send chocolates. But only the brave (and slightly unhinged) send \u003cstrong data-start=\"3640\" data-end=\"3657\"\u003ea bag of tits\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3662\" data-end=\"3665\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3667\" data-end=\"3902\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3670\" data-end=\"3696\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now.\u003c\/strong\u003e Send a sweet, squishy, boob-shaped gift that’s part candy, part chaos, and 100% unforgettable. They’ll eat it, they’ll laugh, and if you’re lucky, they’ll choke on a gummy nipple while cursing your name.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3667\" data-end=\"3902\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ ----","offer_id":17605713601,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ ----","offer_id":20804597249,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Enjoy Your Boobies \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":20804776833,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ ----","offer_id":36595996237,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325203981,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325211917,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Enjoy Your Boobies \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325216589,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325224077,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192151957588,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192153595988,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192156807252,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/bag-of-tits-3930265.jpg?v=1755879320"},{"product_id":"big-box-of-dicks","title":"BIG BOX OF DICKS!","description":"\u003cp\u003eNow, our new and improved BOX of dicks! With this delectable item you will receive an entire BOX of dicks. Included in the box will be 5 delicious bags of dicks ready to be eaten by your friends or (fr)enemies. That's over 125 individual gummy penises to get the party started. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese will be perfect for any occasion or if you just REALLY need to get the point across. Enjoy!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Big Box of Dicks - 5 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":18805207425,"sku":"","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Giant Box of Dicks -10 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":34451931725,"sku":"","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Quarantine Box of Dicks - 36 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":32039788675156,"sku":"","price":249.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/big-box-of-dicks-4239334.jpg?v=1755879321"},{"product_id":"giant-box-of-dicks","title":"GIANT BOX OF DICKS!","description":"\u003cp\u003eWOW!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust when you thought it couldn't get any better. Why settle for the big box of dicks, when you can upgrade to the GIANT box of dicks? These are perfect for bachelorette parties or really any party of all shapes and sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe'll include 10 beautiful bags of dicks to be shared with your friends, family, mother, grandmother, bachelorettes, anything you want. It's your life. Enjoy your buffet of dicks!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUpgrade to 20, 50 or 100 bags!!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"10 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":18805344257,"sku":"","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":3423121604621,"sku":"","price":149.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"50 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":3423121670157,"sku":"","price":349.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"100 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":3423121702925,"sku":"","price":549.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/giant-box-of-dicks-4965466.jpg?v=1755879321"},{"product_id":"dick-tit-combo","title":"DICKS \u0026 TITS COMBO PACK!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"68\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDICKS \u0026amp; TITS COMBO PACK!\u003c\/strong\u003e - The Prank Gift That Hits Both Fronts\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"70\" data-end=\"356\"\u003eWhy choose between \u003cstrong data-start=\"89\" data-end=\"98\"\u003edicks\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"110\"\u003etits\u003c\/strong\u003e when you can send both in one glorious, inappropriate, gut-busting package? The \u003cstrong data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"218\"\u003eDICKS \u0026amp; TITS COMBO PACK\u003c\/strong\u003e is here to double the laughs, double the awkwardness, and double the “WTF” faces. It’s the \u003cem data-start=\"310\" data-end=\"354\"\u003eprank gift for people who don’t do subtle.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"358\" data-end=\"670\"\u003eThis pack comes loaded with a bag of \u003cstrong data-start=\"395\" data-end=\"410\"\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e and a bag of \u003cstrong data-start=\"424\" data-end=\"438\"\u003egummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e, each with its own loud, unapologetic message card: \u003cem data-start=\"491\" data-end=\"513\"\u003e“Eat a Bag of Dicks”\u003c\/em\u003e and \u003cem data-start=\"518\" data-end=\"541\"\u003e“Suck a Bag of Tits.”\u003c\/em\u003e And yes, they’re delicious. And yes, they’re delivered 100% anonymously so you can cause maximum chaos without getting caught.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"672\" data-end=\"791\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"672\" data-end=\"697\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e if you’re ready to drop the funniest, most inappropriate package someone will ever receive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"793\" data-end=\"796\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"798\" data-end=\"842\"\u003eWhy This Combo Pack is a God-Tier Prank\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"844\" data-end=\"1106\"\u003eBecause sending just dicks or just tits is fine… but sending both? That’s a power move. This isn’t just an edible gag gift, it’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003ecomplete emotional rollercoaster in a box\u003c\/strong\u003e. First, the laughter. Then, the disbelief. Then, the awkward candy tasting session.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1108\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eAnd since it ships anonymously, they’ll never know for sure it was you. Which means you get to sit back, relax, and wait for the confused texts to start rolling in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1334\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1334\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1278\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003eTwo hilarious edible gifts in one\u003c\/strong\u003e - dicks AND tits\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1335\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1337\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1337\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003eBold message cards\u003c\/strong\u003e that leave no room for interpretation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1400\" data-end=\"1482\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1482\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003eGourmet gummy candy\u003c\/strong\u003e that’s actually good (because bad candy is just cruel)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1483\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1485\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1485\" data-end=\"1522\"\u003eOptional glitter or dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e to crank up the chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1547\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1549\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1549\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003e100% anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e for ultimate prank protection\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1610\" data-end=\"1613\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1615\" data-end=\"1645\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1647\" data-end=\"1856\"\u003eImagine this: they open the package, see a bold card telling them to \u003cem data-start=\"1716\" data-end=\"1736\"\u003eeat a bag of dicks\u003c\/em\u003e and \u003cem data-start=\"1741\" data-end=\"1761\"\u003esuck a bag of tits\u003c\/em\u003e, and immediately wonder who in their life is deranged enough to send this. (Hint: it’s you.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1858\" data-end=\"2029\"\u003eThen they see the gummies. Maybe they laugh and start passing them around. Maybe they blush and stash them in the pantry for “private snacking.” Either way, \u003cstrong data-start=\"2015\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003eyou win.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2031\" data-end=\"2034\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2036\" data-end=\"2064\"\u003eReal Customer Reactions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2066\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2066\" data-end=\"2243\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2068\" data-end=\"2243\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2068\" data-end=\"2241\"\u003e“This is one of my favorite items to send. I have not even been present to see their faces but I can only imagine… How can you not want to receive a bag of dicks or tits?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2244\" data-end=\"2304\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2304\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003e“I sent this to my Work Best Friend :) She loved it!!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2423\"\u003e“I was thrilled to send this to someone, anonymously! Just wished I could have seen the expression on their face!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2427\" data-end=\"2430\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2432\" data-end=\"2448\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2450\" data-end=\"2744\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2450\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2472\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e that will haunt them in the best way\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2512\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2536\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e for friends who can take a joke\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2571\" data-end=\"2615\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2573\" data-end=\"2615\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2573\" data-end=\"2590\"\u003eBreakup jokes\u003c\/strong\u003e (petty but satisfying)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2616\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2618\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2618\" data-end=\"2639\"\u003eRevenge surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e that won’t get you arrested\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2744\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2744\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2695\"\u003eAdult novelty gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e for bachelorette parties or wild get-togethers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2746\" data-end=\"2749\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2751\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003eWhat’s Inside\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2771\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2771\" data-end=\"2830\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2773\" data-end=\"2830\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2773\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003e1 bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e with \u003cem data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2823\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks\u003c\/em\u003e card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2831\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2833\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2833\" data-end=\"2856\"\u003e1 bag of gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e with \u003cem data-start=\"2862\" data-end=\"2882\"\u003eSuck a Bag of Tits\u003c\/em\u003e card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2890\" data-end=\"2953\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2953\"\u003eOptional \u003cstrong data-start=\"2901\" data-end=\"2929\"\u003eglitter or dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e to up the mess factor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"2978\"\u003eDiscreet packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e so it’s a complete surprise\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3010\" data-end=\"3013\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3015\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3045\" data-end=\"3323\"\u003eBecause there’s something inherently funny about edible genitals. It’s juvenile, it’s shocking, it’s oddly wholesome once they start eating the candy. The combo pack doesn’t just make them laugh - it makes them wonder what kind of delightful lunatic they have in their circle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3325\" data-end=\"3411\"\u003eAnd let’s be honest - sending this says, \u003cem data-start=\"3366\" data-end=\"3409\"\u003e“I care enough to offend you creatively.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3413\" data-end=\"3416\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3418\" data-end=\"3434\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3436\" data-end=\"3666\"\u003eIf you’re looking for the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3462\" data-end=\"3522\"\u003eperfect blend of offensive, delicious, and unforgettable\u003c\/strong\u003e, the DICKS \u0026amp; TITS COMBO PACK is your move. It’s the kind of prank gift that gets talked about for years, probably at every holiday gathering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3668\" data-end=\"3771\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3668\" data-end=\"3693\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and become the legend who sent someone both dicks AND tits in the same box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3668\" data-end=\"3771\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":37723888717,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Glitter","offer_id":19770009665,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti","offer_id":37723816141,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/dicks-tits-combo-pack-2285138.jpg?v=1755879320"},{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks-prank-candle-combo","title":"Bag of Dicks + Prank Candle Combo","description":"\u003cp\u003eWe'll include both a Bag of Dicks with the note \"EAT A BAG OF DICKS\", and one of our Prank Candles with the message \"SORRY ABOUT THE DICKS, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS CANDLE AS MY APOLOGY\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWatch them burn the prank candle and see it turn into a terrible dirty fart or dick breath scent!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28374997441,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/bag-of-dicks-prank-candle-combo-2161959.png?v=1755879322"},{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks","title":"Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks (Literally. They’re Delicious.)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ePicture it you open your mail, open a package, and it's... a bag of dicks? There's no return address and you can't figure out who sent it, so you have to through everyone who you ever wronged.. just to have it be your friend who tells you it was them 2 year later. It's the perfect prank. And you can do it to whoever you want today.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSend them a floral bag filled with gummy dicks and a side of “who the hell sent this?” These chewy little bastards are 2.5 inches long (yes, people comment on the size), come in three shockingly tasty flavors, and arrive anonymously—unless you want credit for the prank.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWhether it’s a bachelor party, a coworker’s birthday, or you’re just bored and petty on a Wednesday afternoon, this is your go-to “screw you, but make it sweet.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s in the Bag?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eInside each 5 oz package, you’ll find\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e10 thick, chewy gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein three delightfully bold flavors: red cherry, green apple, and blue raspberry. Each one is about 2.5 inches long and an inch wide at the base (a.k.a. the balls), making them surprisingly satisfying to chew- and weirdly hard to forget.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe whole package comes sealed in a bold floral pouch stamped with the words\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Eat a Bag of Dicks”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eright on the front. It's weirdly classy. Shockingly colorful. And entirely unforgettable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eAnonymous Pranks - messing with your friends and family\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSending a mess to your fr(enemies)... in a funny way\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eBachelorette parties (bonus points if Grandma’s in town)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eBirthday pranks that escalate just enough\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eGroup chat dares\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSecret Santa with no rules\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe friend who’s always “soooo hard to shop for”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWhether you send it anonymously to spark chaos or sign it with pride, the outcome’s the same: confused joy, contagious laughter, and a mental image they’ll never unsee.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ePeople love these things. Not just because they’re hilarious, but because they’re actually good. Like, “I meant to prank my roommate and ended up snacking on one myself” good. Don’t be surprised if your recipient eats the whole bag and still wants to know where it came from.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eAnd yes, we’ve been shipping\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ebags of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003efor years. Real ones know. If you’ve ever searched “send a bag of dicks,” “funny gummy candy,” or “anonymous prank gift,” this is what you were looking for... even if you didn’t know it yet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eNo glitter. No mess. Just a mouthful of mystery and a whole lot of flavor.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSend a bag. Or two. Chaos loves company.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"---- \/ ----","offer_id":39391283533,"sku":"292372447279","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Double the Dicks! A Second Bag for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":39391296333,"sku":"","price":23.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card!","offer_id":39391303565,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Double the Dicks! A Second Bag for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":39391279373,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ ----","offer_id":39391314701,"sku":"","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Double the Dicks! A Second Bag for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":39391319885,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":39391360717,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":39391367309,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ ----","offer_id":39391369741,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":39391473293,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card","offer_id":39391502605,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card","offer_id":39391510157,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215816013,"sku":"","price":21.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215827149,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215835277,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/buy-two-bag-of-dicks-get-one-free-3247013.jpg?v=1755878735"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-original-greeting-card","title":"Eat a Dick - Original Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ciframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lc1VdWKMdrg\" height=\"315\" width=\"560\"\u003e\u003c\/iframe\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"216\"\u003eEat a Dick - Original Greeting Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"218\" data-end=\"415\"\u003eSome cards say “Happy Birthday.” Some say “Congratulations.” This one says \u003cstrong data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"307\"\u003eEAT A DICK\u003c\/strong\u003e in glorious 3D pop-up form because sometimes that’s the only sentiment that really captures how you feel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"417\" data-end=\"645\"\u003eWe’re talking about a high-quality folded greeting card that opens to reveal a proud pop-up penis with the boldest message imaginable. It’s not subtle. It’s not sweet. It’s a full-on comedic middle finger wrapped in cardstock.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"647\" data-end=\"762\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"647\" data-end=\"760\"\u003eOrder now, ship it anonymously, and let someone’s day explode into laughter, shock, and possibly a spit-take.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"764\" data-end=\"767\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"769\" data-end=\"822\"\u003eWhy This Card Slaps (Literally and Figuratively)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"960\"\u003eThink about the last time you got a greeting card. Probably had flowers, some boring cursive, and an impersonal “Best Wishes.” Snooze.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"1278\"\u003eNow imagine handing or mailing someone a card that opens to a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1056\"\u003emassive unapologetic 3D dick\u003c\/strong\u003e. It’s pure chaos and it works every single time. Whether it’s revenge, a prank, or just a spontaneous “because I can,” this card is a guaranteed conversation piece. They won’t throw it away. They’ll show it to everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1280\" data-end=\"1426\"\u003eThis thing is made from sturdy double-sided 14 pt cardstock so it’s got that premium feel… if premium meant high-quality insult delivery system.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1428\" data-end=\"1431\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1433\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003eHow It Plays Out\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1456\" data-end=\"1619\"\u003eYou send the card. They open it expecting something sweet. Instead, boom — there it is, the mighty pop-up meat missile with “EAT A DICK” screaming in their face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1621\" data-end=\"1804\"\u003eThey freeze for a second. Then it happens. The laugh. The “WTF?!” The immediate photo taken and texted to friends. And if you send it anonymously, the mystery adds fuel to the fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1806\" data-end=\"1843\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1806\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003eReal reviews from real legends:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1847\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e“My husband laughed so hard, great surprise gift hahaha.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1907\" data-end=\"1997\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1909\" data-end=\"1997\"\u003e“The person I sent this to still has no idea who sent it. And I absolutely love that!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1998\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2000\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003e“This was payback for putting a rival team's stuff all over my truck. The recipient wasn't sure it was me but said ‘that made my day! Seriously, it made my day.’ It was fun and worth the money.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2198\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2219\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2221\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2221\" data-end=\"2269\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2223\" data-end=\"2269\"\u003eBirthday jokes that hit harder than confetti\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2317\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2272\" data-end=\"2317\"\u003eAnonymous revenge without the police report\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2318\" data-end=\"2375\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2320\" data-end=\"2375\"\u003eBreakup laughs that say “I’m fine, thanks for asking”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2423\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2423\"\u003eSports rival payback after a trash talk war\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2426\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003eRandom Tuesday chaos injection\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2460\" data-end=\"2463\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2465\" data-end=\"2496\"\u003eWhat You’re Really Sending\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2498\" data-end=\"2756\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2498\" data-end=\"2591\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2500\" data-end=\"2591\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2502\" data-end=\"2542\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inch folded greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e made from quality 14 pt double-sided cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2592\" data-end=\"2652\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2594\" data-end=\"2652\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2596\" data-end=\"2615\"\u003e3D pop-up penis\u003c\/strong\u003e with the words “EAT A DICK” inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2653\" data-end=\"2715\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2655\" data-end=\"2715\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping for maximum prank potential\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2756\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2756\"\u003eA story they will never stop telling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2758\" data-end=\"2761\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2763\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003eHow to Pull It Off Like a Pro\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2799\" data-end=\"2979\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2799\" data-end=\"2815\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"2815\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2816\" data-end=\"2881\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2819\" data-end=\"2881\"\u003eShip it straight to their doorstep with no trace back to you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2979\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2885\" data-end=\"2979\"\u003eSit back, relax, and wait for the confusion, laughter, and text messages to start rolling in\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2981\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"3006\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3008\" data-end=\"3254\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3012\" data-end=\"3051\"\u003eEat a Dick - Original Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is not polite. It’s not safe. It’s not something you give your sweet old aunt unless she’s cool. But it is the funniest most shockingly perfect way to say “screw you” while still making someone’s day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3256\" data-end=\"3378\"\u003eStop overthinking. Skip the flowers. Skip the generic “Happy Birthday.” \u003cstrong data-start=\"3328\" data-end=\"3376\"\u003eSend them the one card they’ll never forget.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3256\" data-end=\"3378\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":39619095821,"sku":"EATADCARD","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":39655016717,"sku":"EATADCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":39688850445,"sku":"EATADCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":39688877709,"sku":"EATADCARD+BOD","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-dick-original-greeting-card-7707185.jpg?v=1755879236"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-dick-bomb","title":"Spring Loaded Dick Bomb!","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause life’s too short not to blast your friends in the face with exploding dicks.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEver wished you could perfectly capture the magic of a “WTF just happened?!” moment? Something so unexpected, so wildly inappropriate, that your target is left gasping, laughing, and sweeping up tiny penis confetti for weeks? Enter the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, the glitter-dick-packed, prank-masterpiece disguised as a totally innocent incense tube… until \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBOOM\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIn one glorious split-second, their world goes from “Hmm, what’s this?” to \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eexploding dicks everywhere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Not metaphorical dicks. Not a polite “eat a bag of dicks” greeting card. No, we’re talking \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ereal, tangible, shiny\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003edick confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e flying through the air like a glittery tsunami of shame.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo yeah, if you’ve ever wanted to send the ultimate “I love you but I also hate you” message, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethis is your weapon of choice\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Scroll down, smash the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e button, and get ready to become the undisputed champion of petty revenge.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need a Dick Glitter Bomb in Your Life\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e isn’t just a prank. It’s performance art. Here’s why it’s so damn satisfying:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s 100% unexpected\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Nobody thinks, “Oh, this innocent-looking incense tube is gonna shoot a dick explosion in my face.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s petty perfection\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Revenge without the drama. Laughter without the cops.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s customizable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Add \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ejizz confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, more glitter, or go full chaos with both.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s not just for enemies\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Works just as well for bachelorette parties, birthdays, or the friend who “accidentally” ruined your favorite shirt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Art of the Exploding Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePicture this:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey pick up the package. “Hmm… what’s this?”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e They open it slowly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You’re somewhere across town, phone in hand, waiting like a deranged Bond villain.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSprrrrrang!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003espring loaded dick bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e erupts in a blinding storm of \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003epenis confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd just like that, they’re in the middle of a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eglitter dick apocalypse\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. It’s in their hair. It’s in their shoes. It’s on their dog. Weeks later, they’ll still be finding little sparkly dicks in the couch cushions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews From People Just As Twisted As You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“He loved the dicks, he had to dump out his shoes after it blew all over him……”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Definitely loved to prank my bestie! Let’s just say I won!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “One of my best friends and her daughter both wore glittery outfits to my Halloween party. I am still finding glitter. And after several weeks of them laughing about it, I had to seek my revenge quietly and carefully. The only obvious solution was a dick glitter bomb. I waited eagerly in anticipation for my phone to ring. And when it did the names I was called and the giggles I had made it all worth it. The follow up texts from the glitter dick finding over the next several days not only made me feel like it was revenge well served but also made me realize that therapy isn’t necessary. The only thing I need is dick glitter bombs. I’m a lot happier now. Thanks dick glitter bombs!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Specs (AKA What You’re Really Paying For)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDisguise:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Looks like a realistic incense tube\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMechanism:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Spring loaded container that fires \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003econfetti dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e with shocking force\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExtras:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Add jizz confetti, glitter, or both for maximum chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous, no return address, no snitching\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUses:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anonymous prank, hilarious gag gift, bachelorette party chaos, petty revenge against friends\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFrom:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The masters of prank warfare, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDicksByMail\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It Works Better Than Any Lame Prank You’ve Tried\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnyone can send a dumb meme or say “eat a bag of dicks” in a group chat. That’s amateur hour. But a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003espring loaded penis bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e? That’s a statement. It’s personal. It’s physical comedy. It’s something they’ll be talking about for years. Hell, you might even earn legendary status in your friend group as \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethat\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e person, the one who pulled off the perfect \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eglitter dick bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e strike.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDo It. You Know You Want To.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour future victim is out there right now, living their life, blissfully unaware that their carpet, clothes, and cat are about to get \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ecovered in exploding dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Don’t deny yourself this joy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-397e87c3-7fff-59b1-f1f6-f6a314228e52\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHit that \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e button. Send the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Dick Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. And bask in the glow of knowing you just unleashed a wave of glittery chaos that’ll haunt them for weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Dicks","offer_id":41525668053076,"sku":"DICKBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Dicks","offer_id":41525100478548,"sku":"DOUBLEDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dick \u0026 Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41525100445780,"sku":"DICKANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Regular Glitter","offer_id":41525100511316,"sku":"DICKANDGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Golden Shower Glitter","offer_id":41525100544084,"sku":"DICKANDGOLDENGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hit 'em with the ultimate combo Dicks \u0026 Jizz \u0026 Glitter","offer_id":41525100576852,"sku":"DICKJIZZANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/spring-loaded-poop-emoji-glitter-cannon-prank-3477554.png?v=1755878733"},{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks-free-koozie","title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Can Cooler!","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdd a Free Can Cooler to your Bag of Dicks!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Black Koozie","offer_id":40733525773,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Gray Koozie","offer_id":40733525837,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Red Koozie","offer_id":40733525901,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Keep Calm and Eat a Bag of Dicks Koozie","offer_id":40733525965,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/bag-of-dicks-free-can-cooler-8883041.png?v=1755879238"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-giant-chocolate-dick","title":"Eat a Dick - The Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Dick – The Chocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSolid chocolate. Solid insult. Solid gold prank.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou know what’s better than sending someone flowers? Sending them a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egiant chocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e they have to unwrap, stare at, and decide if they’re gonna bite the tip first or go straight for the base.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Dick – Chocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is not subtle. It’s not romantic (unless your romance involves filthy jokes). It’s a big, solid, 4-to-5.5 inch \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made from gluten-free Peruvian cacao, and it shows up in a sleek black box like some luxury jewelry… if the “jewel” was a perfectly molded cocoa cock.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd the best part? It ships \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. No sender info. No return address. Just pure, edible confusion delivered right to their door.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo yeah, if you’ve got a friend, ex, sibling, or Valentine who deserves a big chocolate middle finger, this is it. Smash that \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e button and let the cocoa chaos begin.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Chocolate Penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the perfect edible “F you” for any occasion:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s edible art\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Made from high-quality gluten-free Peruvian cacao, it actually tastes amazing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a visual gut punch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They open the box and immediately regret their life choices.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s versatile\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Works for birthdays, bachelorette parties, Valentine’s Day, revenge gifts, or “just because.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s anonymous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They’ll never know it was you… unless you’re giggling too hard to keep the secret.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImagine this:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey get a package. Looks fancy. They open it expecting fine chocolates or maybe a nice watch. Nope. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egiant chocolate cock\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring them in the face like, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Hey there, champ. Eat me.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey laugh. They take a picture. They send it to three friends. Then they either eat it (because chocolate is chocolate) or put it on display like a weird edible trophy. Either way, you win.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Went There\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Great way to prank your best friend or not-so-best friend, anonymous and hilarious.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Bought it for a friend as a gag gift and it arrived on Valentine’s Day, she opened it in front of her 10-year-old son who won’t stop asking questions.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Sent it to my sister and she absolutely died laughing, she loved it.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Delicious Details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 4 to 5.5 inches, 3 to 4 oz of solid chocolate goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Gluten-free Peruvian cacao – because even insults should taste gourmet\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sleek black box that screams “classy” until you open it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExtras:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Optional upgraded gift box for maximum surprise factor\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous – the mystery is half the fun\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUse Cases:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anonymous prank, birthday\/gag gift, bachelorette party, Valentine’s Day joke, breakup revenge, just because you can\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause even if they hate you, they can’t hate chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because nothing breaks tension like opening a box to find a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig chocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring back at you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because this is a prank that’s edible, harmless, and yet deeply personal.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSeriously, your “eat a dick chocolate” moment will live rent-free in their head for years. It’s a conversation starter, a photo op, and a power move all in one shiny cocoa package.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend It. Bite It. Love It.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s the play:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEnter their address.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSit back and wait for the confused text, the awkward photo, or the phone call that starts with “What the hell, man?”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s that simple. You can send a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig chocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e for less than the price of a boring bouquet, and it’ll get way more laughs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-c363c91c-7fff-eff1-66c2-793662dace9e\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo do it. Make someone’s day. Make them eat a dick.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate Dick","offer_id":930360131597,"sku":"CHOCOD","price":22.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box","offer_id":41567798886484,"sku":"NUTSABOUTYOUCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something Fabulous In There Pride Box","offer_id":41567798919252,"sku":"FABULOUSCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regal - Fake Watch Gift Prank","offer_id":42636581765204,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"New Phone Gift Prank","offer_id":42636581797972,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Congratulations!","offer_id":42636581666900,"sku":"CONGRATSCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Happy Birthday Box","offer_id":32160656261204,"sku":"HBDCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Be Mine Box","offer_id":41567798853716,"sku":"BEMINECHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Christmas Box","offer_id":42636581699668,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Don","offer_id":42636581732436,"sku":"THEDONCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Christmas Box","offer_id":41567799017556,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/all-the-dicks-bundle-gummy-dicks-chocolate-dick-and-dick-glitter-bomb-6404789.jpg?v=1764100227"},{"product_id":"secret-santa-bag-of-dicks-package","title":"Secret Santa Bag of D's Package","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"62\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSecret Santa Bag of D'sPackage \u003c\/strong\u003e- The Gift That Sleighs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"64\" data-end=\"387\"\u003eNothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like a \u003cstrong data-start=\"108\" data-end=\"130\"\u003ebag of gummy D's\u003c\/strong\u003e wrapped in festive cheer and sprinkled with enough glitter to haunt their home until next December. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"235\" data-end=\"272\"\u003eSecret Santa Bag of D's Package\u003c\/strong\u003e is here to turn your wholesome holiday exchange into an unforgettable mix of laughter, shock, and messy revenge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"389\" data-end=\"630\"\u003eImagine their face when they open a cheery Christmas box… only to find a note that says \u003cstrong data-start=\"477\" data-end=\"501\"\u003e“Eat a Bag of D's”\u003c\/strong\u003e, a big ol’ bag of candy peckers, and a snowstorm of red and green glitter. That’s not just a gift - that’s a holiday \u003cem data-start=\"619\" data-end=\"627\"\u003emoment\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"632\" data-end=\"718\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"632\" data-end=\"657\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and become the most talked-about Secret Santa of all time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"720\" data-end=\"723\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"725\" data-end=\"768\"\u003eWhy This Is the Ultimate Holiday Prank\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"770\" data-end=\"1104\"\u003eBecause everyone else is going to bring gift cards and scented candles - you’re bringing chaos wrapped in Christmas spirit. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"898\" data-end=\"935\"\u003eSecret Santa Bag of D's Package\u003c\/strong\u003e is a perfect mix of naughty and nice. It’s just harmless enough to pass off as a joke, but just savage enough to make them remember it long after the tree comes down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1348\"\u003eWith anonymous shipping, you can drop this festive bomb without a trace. You’ll be sipping cocoa at home while they’re vacuuming glitter out of the carpet and trying to decide if they should eat the gummy d's (spoiler: they totally will).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1350\" data-end=\"1353\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1381\"\u003eWhat’s Inside the Box\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1383\" data-end=\"1794\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1383\" data-end=\"1468\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1385\" data-end=\"1468\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1385\" data-end=\"1426\"\u003eFestive Secret Santa-themed packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e that looks sweet and innocent… at first\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1469\" data-end=\"1538\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1538\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1500\"\u003eA full bag of gummy D's \u003c\/strong\u003e for their holiday snacking pleasure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1539\" data-end=\"1620\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1541\" data-end=\"1620\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1541\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"1678\" data-end=\"1711\"\u003eMerry Christmas\u003c\/strong\u003e “Eat a Bag of D's” \u003cstrong data-start=\"1678\" data-end=\"1711\"\u003egreeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e to make your intentions perfectly clear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1621\" data-end=\"1675\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1623\" data-end=\"1675\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1623\" data-end=\"1648\"\u003eRed and green glitter\u003c\/strong\u003e for maximum holiday mess\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1731\" data-end=\"1794\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1794\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1766\"\u003eCompletely anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can keep your halo\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1796\" data-end=\"1799\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1801\" data-end=\"1818\"\u003ePicture This\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1820\" data-end=\"2190\"\u003eIt’s the annual Secret Santa exchange. Everyone’s going around, unwrapping boring mugs and novelty socks. Then it’s your recipient’s turn. They open your gift, expecting the same safe nonsense. Instead, their hands come out sparkling like they just fought an elf in a glitter factory, and the room erupts in laughter as they realize they’re holding a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2171\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003ebag of D's\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2192\" data-end=\"2297\"\u003eSomeone asks who sent it. You sit there, sipping your drink, smiling like an angel. They’ll never know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2299\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2304\" data-end=\"2320\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2602\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2368\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2324\" data-end=\"2368\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2324\" data-end=\"2347\"\u003eSecret Santa pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e that win the party\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2369\" data-end=\"2428\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2371\" data-end=\"2428\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2371\" data-end=\"2394\"\u003eChristmas gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e for friends who can take a joke\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2429\" data-end=\"2470\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2431\" data-end=\"2470\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2431\" data-end=\"2448\"\u003eRevenge gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e disguised in tinsel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2471\" data-end=\"2521\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2473\" data-end=\"2521\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2473\" data-end=\"2494\"\u003eStocking stuffers\u003c\/strong\u003e for the twisted at heart\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2522\" data-end=\"2602\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2524\" data-end=\"2602\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2524\" data-end=\"2555\"\u003eAnonymous holiday surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e that make December a little more interesting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2604\" data-end=\"2607\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2609\" data-end=\"2630\"\u003eCustomer Reviews\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2632\" data-end=\"2853\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2632\" data-end=\"2851\"\u003e\"Christmas tradition! I send the Christmas box every year to my friend. He loves them! Maybe not the glitter but his wife thinks it's hilarious because he has to clean it up. Love it! Definitely a worthy tradition.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2981\" data-end=\"3113\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2981\" data-end=\"3111\"\u003e\"This was a great gift!! Packaging was so festive and glitter didn’t go everywhere but definitely made a statement. Love DBM.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3115\" data-end=\"3118\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3120\" data-end=\"3140\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3142\" data-end=\"3458\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3146\" data-end=\"3183\"\u003eSecret Santa Bag of D's Package\u003c\/strong\u003e is more than a gift - it’s a holiday highlight. It’s the perfect balance of festive fun and petty mischief. Whether you’re keeping a long-running prank tradition alive or just want to shock the hell out of someone in the most Christmas-y way possible, this is your ticket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3460\" data-end=\"3520\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3460\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and let the holiday havoc begin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3460\" data-end=\"3520\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of D's, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":1156855005197,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double the Dicks!","offer_id":1156871028749,"sku":"","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/secret-santa-bag-of-dicks-package-2939876.png?v=1755879236"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-christmas-dick","title":"The Chocolate Christmas Dick","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a mouth full of solid chocolate dick.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTired of giving boring gifts like socks, candles, or that dumb bath set nobody uses? Time to level up your holiday game with something they’ll actually remember – \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not some flimsy little novelty candy. We’re talking about a hefty, 5 to 5.5 inch, 4 to 6 oz \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, made with organic ingredients and delivered in a discreet box. Oh, and it has a holiday tagline that reads “Hoe hoe hoe, for the hoe in your life.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, it’s edible. And yes, it will be the star of your Christmas morning, your white elephant exchange, or that family gift swap you always dread.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo if you want to be the MVP of gift giving this year, scroll down and hit \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Your friends, your enemies, and maybe even grandma will thank you… eventually.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need a Christmas Dick in Your Life\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the funniest stocking stuffer ever\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – No one forgets opening a box to find a giant chocolate cock staring back at them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s actually tasty\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Made with organic ingredients, so your prank can also be delicious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a conversation starter\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – And by conversation, we mean uncontrollable laughter followed by inappropriate photos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt ships anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They’ll have no clue who sent it unless you want to own your masterpiece.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re About to Create\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s Christmas morning. The room smells like cinnamon and coffee. Someone picks up a small box from their stocking, opens it, and freezes. The entire room goes silent before erupting in pure chaos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause inside that box is not a watch. Not a gift card. Not a heartfelt token of love. Nope. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig Christmas dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made entirely of chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere’s blushing. There’s laughter. Someone shouts “What the hell is wrong with you?” and you just smile because you know exactly what’s wrong, and it’s perfect.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who’ve Gone Full Naughty List\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Used this for a white elephant gift exchange and it by far got the best reaction! Everyone died laughing! It was perfect!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “I sent a Christmas dick to my ex!! He loves chocolate and it just tickles me to think of him eat a chocolate dick. He messaged me and said he wasn’t eating it. I told him to just hold it in his mouth… it would melt 🤣🤣🤣 I love it!!!! I love his reaction!!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “When I told her I sent it she told me it was the greatest thing she’s ever received.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Delicious Details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 5 to 5.5 inches tall, 4 to 6 oz of solid chocolate\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Rich, organic chocolate goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Discreet box with holiday “Hoe hoe hoe” theme\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous shipping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOrder Options:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e One dick, two dicks, three dicks, four dicks, six dicks for the family, ten dicks for when you’re pranking everyone\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Christmas gag gift, anonymous prank, stocking stuffer, revenge gift, holiday party joke, white elephant surprise\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Gift Works Every Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause everyone loves chocolate, but no one expects it to be shaped like a penis. It’s edible, it’s hilarious, and it’s the one thing they’ll be talking about long after the tree comes down.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven if they pretend to be offended, they’ll probably still take a bite. And when they do, they’ll realize it’s actually good chocolate, which makes your prank even sweeter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBe the Legend of This Year’s Christmas\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, you have the chance to turn a boring holiday gathering into an unforgettable moment of shock, laughter, and maybe a little drooling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMake this Christmas one for the naughty list.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DicksByMail","offers":[{"title":"Santa Box \/ One Dick!","offer_id":41726325129300,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":41726325162068,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":41726325194836,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42612887519316,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":41726325293140,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636622430292,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636622463060,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636622495828,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636622528596,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636622561364,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636633210964,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636633243732,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636633276500,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636633309268,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636633342036,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636633374804,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636633407572,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636633440340,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636633473108,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636633505876,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-chocolate-christmas-dick-9162712.jpg?v=1763155224"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"Eat a Dick - Original Valentines Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch1 data-start=\"234\" data-end=\"287\"\u003eEat a Dick - Original Valentine’s Day Greeting Card\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"408\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"408\"\u003eNothing says “I love you” or “go choke on a candy cane” like a Valentine’s Day card that literally pops out a dick.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"410\" data-end=\"617\"\u003eYou’ve got two kinds of people this time of year. The ones you want to bang, and the ones you want to haunt with a permanent mental image of a cartoon cock flying out of a card. This bad boy works for both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"619\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eIt’s romantic. It’s rude. It’s the emotional equivalent of flipping someone off with a smile. Whether you're breaking hearts or breaking wind, this card gets the job done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"902\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"902\"\u003eSo stop doom-scrolling and hit that add to cart button. It’s time to mail someone a throbbing paper penis.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"904\" data-end=\"907\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"959\"\u003eWhy This Card Slaps (Literally and Emotionally)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003eValentine’s Day is a joke. Not the funny kind. The overpriced dinner, chocolate-covered capitalism kind. You know what’s actually hilarious? A 3D dick popping out of a card like it’s auditioning for Magic Mike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1174\" data-end=\"1396\"\u003eWhether you're heartbroken, horny, or just hate love, this card is the therapy you didn't know you needed. It’s catharsis with a penis. It’s petty revenge with paper engineering. It’s everything you didn’t know you wanted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1398\" data-end=\"1401\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1403\" data-end=\"1440\"\u003eReal Reviews From Unhinged Legends\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1442\" data-end=\"1493\"\u003eDon't take our word for it. The people have spoken.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1495\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1497\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e“Definitely got the wow dickfactor. The perfect gift. The gift of dicks.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1572\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1574\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003e“Great!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1584\" data-end=\"1719\"\u003eThat’s it. That’s the review. Sometimes words fail when you’ve just been emotionally smacked in the face by a Valentine’s cock grenade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1721\" data-end=\"1724\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1726\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1757\" data-end=\"1836\"\u003eYou’re not just buying a card. You’re buying chaos, closure, and comedy gold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1838\" data-end=\"2258\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1838\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1906\"\u003eA folded Valentine’s Day card that proudly says \u003cstrong data-start=\"1888\" data-end=\"1904\"\u003e“EAT A DICK”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1907\" data-end=\"1964\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1909\" data-end=\"1964\"\u003eA pop-up 3D penis that springs out like your ex’s ego\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1965\" data-end=\"2031\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1967\" data-end=\"2031\"\u003eMade from sturdy cardstock so it survives transit and tantrums\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2032\" data-end=\"2098\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2034\" data-end=\"2098\"\u003eBlank on the back so you can add whatever foul poetry you want\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2099\" data-end=\"2126\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2101\" data-end=\"2126\"\u003eWhite envelope included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2127\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2129\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003eShips \u003cstrong data-start=\"2135\" data-end=\"2162\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e because plausible deniability is hot\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2202\" data-end=\"2258\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2204\" data-end=\"2258\"\u003eOptional glitter add-on for maximum emotional damage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2260\" data-end=\"2329\"\u003eThis is not a Hallmark moment. This is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2301\" data-end=\"2328\"\u003eValentine’s cock cannon\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2331\" data-end=\"2334\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2336\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003eWhen to Send It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2356\" data-end=\"2381\"\u003eThis card is perfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2383\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2383\" data-end=\"2429\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2385\" data-end=\"2429\"\u003eYour ex who still follows you on Instagram\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2430\" data-end=\"2485\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2432\" data-end=\"2485\"\u003eThat “just friends” person who forgot your birthday\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2486\" data-end=\"2545\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2545\"\u003eYourself, because you deserve to laugh through the pain\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2546\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2548\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003eYour best friend, who’s just as toxic as you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2657\"\u003eAnyone who could benefit from a little \u003cstrong data-start=\"2636\" data-end=\"2655\"\u003evalentines cock\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2659\" data-end=\"2662\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2664\" data-end=\"2679\"\u003eWhy It Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2681\" data-end=\"2832\"\u003eBecause it’s not trying to be sweet. It’s not trying to be cute. It’s trying to say “Happy Valentine’s Day” while aggressively flashing a paper dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2834\" data-end=\"2876\"\u003eThat’s bold. That’s art. That’s healing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2878\" data-end=\"3039\"\u003eYou're not sending a card. You’re sending a message. A throbbing, veiny, cardstock message. One that says, “I still care. But mostly I care that you eat a dick.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3041\" data-end=\"3044\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3063\"\u003eYour Next Move\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3065\" data-end=\"3208\"\u003eDon’t overthink it. Buy the card. Choose the glitter if you’re feeling extra spicy. We’ll ship it out, no names attached, no regrets necessary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3210\" data-end=\"3259\"\u003eClick the \u003cstrong\u003eadd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e button. Mail the dick. Become a legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":3215728345101,"sku":"","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":3215728410637,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":3215728476173,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":3215728508941,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/go-f-yourself-valentines-day-pack-3003979.jpg?v=1755878740"},{"product_id":"bag-of-glitter-dicks","title":"Bag of Glitter Dicks!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"60\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBag of Glitter Dicks - Sweet, Sticky, and Petty as Hell\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"62\" data-end=\"344\"\u003eSometimes a simple “screw you” just doesn’t cut it. You need something louder, messier, and stickier. Something that doesn’t just send a message - it explodes all over their life in the most hilarious, inconvenient way possible. That’s where the \u003cstrong data-start=\"308\" data-end=\"332\"\u003eBag of Glitter Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e comes in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"346\" data-end=\"771\"\u003eIt’s not just a gag gift. It’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"379\" data-end=\"422\"\u003esugar-coated glitter bomb of pure chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e. Inside is a bag of fruity, chewy gummy dicks, an “Eat a Bag of Dicks” notecard for that extra insult, and an entire envelope of glitter waiting to scatter across every inch of their floor, couch, or unsuspecting lap. And yes - it ships \u003cstrong data-start=\"660\" data-end=\"687\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e, so you can sit back and enjoy the fallout without anyone tracing it back to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"773\" data-end=\"962\"\u003eSo, if you’ve got a birthday coming up, a prank war to win, or just an urge to send someone a sticky little “fuck you” in the mail, \u003cstrong data-start=\"905\" data-end=\"926\"\u003eclick Add to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e and prepare for absolute carnage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"964\" data-end=\"967\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"969\" data-end=\"1005\"\u003eWhy This Prank Works Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1007\" data-end=\"1178\"\u003eMost pranks are over in seconds. Someone jumps, they laugh, everyone moves on. But \u003cstrong data-start=\"1090\" data-end=\"1146\"\u003ethe Bag of Glitter Dicks is built for lasting damage\u003c\/strong\u003e - emotionally and physically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1363\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003eThe glitter? It’ll be in their carpet for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1234\" data-end=\"1302\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1236\" data-end=\"1302\"\u003eThe candy dicks? Delicious enough that they can’t even stay mad.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1303\" data-end=\"1363\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1305\" data-end=\"1363\"\u003eThe notecard? A keepsake they’ll never admit to keeping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1365\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003eIt’s the perfect mix of \u003cstrong data-start=\"1389\" data-end=\"1429\"\u003epetty revenge and sweet satisfaction\u003c\/strong\u003e. You’re not just sending them candy. You’re sending them a mess, a laugh, and a memory they won’t ever forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1544\" data-end=\"1547\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1549\" data-end=\"1579\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1581\" data-end=\"1596\"\u003ePicture this:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1598\" data-end=\"1780\"\u003eThey open their mailbox and pull out a totally normal-looking package. Harmless. Innocent. They open it at their kitchen counter, maybe at a party, maybe even in their living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1782\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003eFirst, they see the notecard: \u003cstrong data-start=\"1812\" data-end=\"1834\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e. Confusion sets in. Then they see the colorful, squishy gummy dicks. Shock. Then they notice… the glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1945\" data-end=\"2128\"\u003eIt’s already too late. The glitter has exploded across their hands, their floor, their clothes. It’s in their hair. Their pet has glitter now. The room looks like a unicorn sneezed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2130\" data-end=\"2283\"\u003eThey’re laughing. They’re swearing. They’re trying to figure out who sent it. But you? You’re somewhere else, sipping coffee and feeling like a genius.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2285\" data-end=\"2288\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2290\" data-end=\"2333\"\u003eReal Reviews from Real Mischief-Makers\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2335\" data-end=\"2771\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2335\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003e\"I had this sent to my hubby’s job. It came packaged inconspicuously. Apparently when he opened it he ripped the box and glitter went everywhere! I followed it up about a week later with a spring loaded dick-fetti bomb. He’s scarred for life and worried because I told him I signed him up for the dick of the month club 😂 Fortunately everyone was laughing and shared the gummy dicks around the shop. I hear they were very tasty.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2773\" data-end=\"2939\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2773\" data-end=\"2937\"\u003e\"I laughed so hard at the text I received from the prankee that I nearly peed myself. He thought it was great; his wife, not as much as glitter was EVERYWHERE!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2941\" data-end=\"3041\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2941\" data-end=\"3039\"\u003e\"Every year for my friend’s birthday, I buy him this and it makes me laugh every single time.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3043\" data-end=\"3046\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3048\" data-end=\"3072\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3074\" data-end=\"3446\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3074\" data-end=\"3146\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3076\" data-end=\"3146\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3076\" data-end=\"3107\"\u003eA bag of fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - soft, chewy, and dangerously tasty\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3147\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3149\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3149\" data-end=\"3185\"\u003eAn “Eat a Bag of Dicks” notecard\u003c\/strong\u003e - subtle as a brick to the face\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3220\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3222\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3222\" data-end=\"3252\"\u003eA full envelope of glitter\u003c\/strong\u003e - the mess that keeps on giving\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3287\" data-end=\"3382\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3289\" data-end=\"3382\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3289\" data-end=\"3311\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - because you’re smart enough to keep your name off this masterpiece\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3383\" data-end=\"3446\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3385\" data-end=\"3446\"\u003eOptional prank add-ons for when you really want to escalate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3448\" data-end=\"3451\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3453\" data-end=\"3470\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3472\" data-end=\"3740\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3472\" data-end=\"3523\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3474\" data-end=\"3523\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3474\" data-end=\"3494\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e that leave a glittery mark\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3524\" data-end=\"3582\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3526\" data-end=\"3582\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3526\" data-end=\"3548\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e that will be remembered forever\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3583\" data-end=\"3623\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3585\" data-end=\"3623\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3585\" data-end=\"3602\"\u003ePetty revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e with a sweet twist\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3624\" data-end=\"3685\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3626\" data-end=\"3685\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3626\" data-end=\"3662\"\u003eBachelor or bachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e that need more chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3686\" data-end=\"3740\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3688\" data-end=\"3740\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3688\" data-end=\"3738\"\u003eThat one friend who swears they’re unprankable\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3742\" data-end=\"3745\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3747\" data-end=\"3783\"\u003eWhy You Should Pull the Trigger\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3785\" data-end=\"4026\"\u003eBecause the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3797\" data-end=\"3821\"\u003eBag of Glitter Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is more than a prank - it’s a chain reaction of laughter, swearing, and regret that keeps going long after the glitter has settled. And the best part? You don’t even have to be there to watch it happen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4028\" data-end=\"4097\"\u003eIf you’re going to send a message, send one that sticks. Literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4099\" data-end=\"4102\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4104\" data-end=\"4340\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4104\" data-end=\"4125\"\u003eClick Add to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e right now and give someone the most ridiculous, sticky, inappropriate, and flat-out unforgettable surprise of their life. Then sit back, relax, and wait for the angry-yet-hilarious text that says, “Was this you?”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4104\" data-end=\"4340\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"---- \/ -----","offer_id":3906312798221,"sku":"BOD+GLITTER-DICK","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday DickHead Card! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3906312830989,"sku":"2XBOD+HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":27.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3906312962061,"sku":"2XBOD+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":27.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday Box! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3906313093133,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BIRTHDAYBOD-2+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICKS","price":27.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3906316828685,"sku":"2XBOD+GLITTER-DICK","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday DickHead Card! \/ -----","offer_id":3906340749325,"sku":"BOD+HAPPYBDAYDICKHEADCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card! \/ -----","offer_id":3906341568525,"sku":"BOD+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday Box! \/ -----","offer_id":3906341601293,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BIRTHDAYBOD-1+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-dicks-dick-confetti-4336620.jpg?v=1755879238"},{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks-dick-confetti","title":"Bag of Dicks + Dick Confetti!","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"209\" data-start=\"138\"\u003eBag of Dicks + Dick Confetti – Because Just Candy Wasn’t Enough\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"336\" data-start=\"211\"\u003eYou could send a sweet card. You could send flowers. Hell, you could even Venmo them 20 bucks. But where’s the fun in that?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"587\" data-start=\"338\"\u003eInstead, imagine this: They tear open a mystery package, out spills a colorful avalanche of \u003cstrong data-end=\"454\" data-start=\"430\"\u003edick-shaped confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e, and right there in the middle is a big ol’ bag of fruity gummy dicks with a note that proudly declares, \u003cstrong data-end=\"585\" data-start=\"560\"\u003e“Eat a Bag of Dicks.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"706\" data-start=\"589\"\u003eIt’s edible, it’s messy, it’s wildly inappropriate, and it’s the exact kind of prank gift that will live in infamy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"858\" data-start=\"708\"\u003eIf you want to send something that’ll have them laughing, swearing, and still finding penis-shaped glitter in their carpet weeks later - this is it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"932\" data-start=\"860\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"930\" data-start=\"860\"\u003eStop overthinking. Send them a Bag of Dicks + Dick Confetti today.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"937\" data-start=\"934\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"969\" data-start=\"939\"\u003eWhy This Works Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1137\" data-start=\"971\"\u003eRegular gummy dicks? Hilarious.\u003cbr data-end=\"1005\" data-start=\"1002\"\u003eA bag of gummy dicks \u003cstrong data-end=\"1034\" data-start=\"1026\"\u003eplus\u003c\/strong\u003e hundreds of tiny penis confetti pieces that scatter everywhere like the glitter of shame? Legendary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1175\" data-start=\"1139\"\u003eIt’s the ultimate two-punch combo:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"1344\" data-start=\"1176\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1225\" data-start=\"1176\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1225\" data-start=\"1179\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1198\" data-start=\"1179\"\u003eImmediate laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e when they see the candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1344\" data-start=\"1226\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1344\" data-start=\"1229\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1248\" data-start=\"1229\"\u003eLingering chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e when they realize they’ll be finding confetti penises in their car, purse, or hair for weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1401\" data-start=\"1346\"\u003eThis isn’t just a gag gift - it’s a whole experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1406\" data-start=\"1403\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1477\" data-start=\"1408\"\u003eA Birthday, Breakup, or “Just Because” Gift They’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1513\" data-start=\"1479\"\u003eHere’s how it usually goes down:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1842\" data-start=\"1515\"\u003eThey open the bag. Confetti explodes everywhere. They laugh, choke on their coffee, maybe call you names.\u003cbr data-end=\"1623\" data-start=\"1620\"\u003eThen they actually eat the gummies… and realize they’re not just funny, they’re delicious.\u003cbr data-end=\"1716\" data-start=\"1713\"\u003eFinally, they’re vacuuming their couch a week later and still finding little pink and gold dicks stuck between the cushions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1944\" data-start=\"1844\"\u003eCongratulations - you just gave them a gift and a long-term reminder that you’re a lovable menace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1949\" data-start=\"1946\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2001\" data-start=\"1951\"\u003eReal Reviews From People Who’ve Pulled It Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2357\" data-start=\"2003\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2357\" data-start=\"2005\"\u003e“Made my boss turn 7 shades of red. Perfect!”\u003cbr data-end=\"2053\" data-start=\"2050\"\u003e“I sent them to my brother-in-law and his wife… they ate all of them in 5 minutes. Said they tasted amazing. Great gag gift!”\u003cbr data-end=\"2183\" data-start=\"2180\"\u003e“I love this company and every product! The bag of dicks makes for a great gift and laugh! All my friends have loved their delicious gummies and the surprise every time.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2362\" data-start=\"2359\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2405\" data-start=\"2364\"\u003eWhat’s in the Bag (and on the Floor)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2803\" data-start=\"2407\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2494\" data-start=\"2407\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2494\" data-start=\"2409\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2440\" data-start=\"2409\"\u003eA bag of fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – sweet, chewy, and shaped for maximum awkwardness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2584\" data-start=\"2495\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2584\" data-start=\"2497\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2534\" data-start=\"2497\"\u003eAn “Eat a Bag of Dicks” note card\u003c\/strong\u003e – direct, tasteful, classy. (Okay, not classy.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2662\" data-start=\"2585\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2662\" data-start=\"2587\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2630\" data-start=\"2587\"\u003eA full envelope of dick-shaped confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e – the real MVP of this prank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2724\" data-start=\"2663\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2724\" data-start=\"2665\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2685\" data-start=\"2665\"\u003eOptional add-ons\u003c\/strong\u003e for birthdays or extra prank damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2803\" data-start=\"2725\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2803\" data-start=\"2727\"\u003e100% anonymous shipping so you can sit back and enjoy the chaos from afar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2808\" data-start=\"2805\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2827\" data-start=\"2810\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"3053\" data-start=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2876\" data-start=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2876\" data-start=\"2831\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2844\" data-start=\"2831\"\u003eBirthdays\u003c\/strong\u003e – skip the boring candle set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2926\" data-start=\"2877\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2926\" data-start=\"2879\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2896\" data-start=\"2879\"\u003eRevenge gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e – sweet justice, literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3013\" data-start=\"2927\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3013\" data-start=\"2929\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2962\" data-start=\"2929\"\u003eBachelor\/Bachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e – give the bride or groom something to snack on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3053\" data-start=\"3014\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3053\" data-start=\"3016\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3032\" data-start=\"3016\"\u003ePetty pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e – because you can.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3058\" data-start=\"3055\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3107\" data-start=\"3060\"\u003eHow to Send a Bag of Dicks + Dick Confetti\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"3292\" data-start=\"3109\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3134\" data-start=\"3109\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3134\" data-start=\"3112\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3191\" data-start=\"3135\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3191\" data-start=\"3138\"\u003eType in your victim’s… I mean, recipient’s address.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3241\" data-start=\"3192\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3241\" data-start=\"3195\"\u003eDecide if you want to add extra prank flair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3292\" data-start=\"3242\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3292\" data-start=\"3245\"\u003eShip it anonymously and wait for the fallout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3297\" data-start=\"3294\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3317\" data-start=\"3299\"\u003eThe Aftermath\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3407\" data-start=\"3319\"\u003eThis isn’t the type of gift they throw away and forget about. Nope. You’ve given them:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"3511\" data-start=\"3408\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3441\" data-start=\"3408\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3441\" data-start=\"3410\"\u003eA snack they’ll actually eat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3475\" data-start=\"3442\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3475\" data-start=\"3444\"\u003eA mess they’ll curse you for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3511\" data-start=\"3476\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3511\" data-start=\"3478\"\u003eA story they’ll tell for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3665\" data-start=\"3513\"\u003eBecause honestly, anybody can send a box of chocolates. But only a true friend, sibling, or chaotic genius sends \u003cstrong data-end=\"3662\" data-start=\"3626\"\u003ea bag of dicks AND dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3670\" data-start=\"3667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3870\" data-start=\"3672\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-end=\"3799\" data-start=\"3675\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and send them a gift that’s part delicious treat, part nuclear glitter bomb of penis-shaped joy. \u003c\/strong\u003eThey’ll never see it coming… but they’ll sure as hell remember it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3870\" data-start=\"3672\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"---- \/ -----","offer_id":3969903001613,"sku":"BOD+GLITTER-DICK","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday DickHead Card! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903034381,"sku":"BOD-2+GLITTER-DICK+BDAYDICKHEADCARD","price":27.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903067149,"sku":"BOD-2+GLITTER-DICK+BDAYBODCARD","price":27.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday Box! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903099917,"sku":"BOD-2+GLITTER-DICK+BDAYBUNDLEBOX","price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903132685,"sku":"BOD-2+GLITTER-DICK","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday DickHead Card! \/ -----","offer_id":3969903165453,"sku":"BOD+GLITTER-DICK+BDAYDICKHEADCARD","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card! \/ -----","offer_id":3969903198221,"sku":"BOD+GLITTER-DICK+BDAYBODCARD","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday Box! \/ -----","offer_id":3969903230989,"sku":"BOD+GLITTER-DICK+BDAYBUNDLEBOX","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-dicks-dick-confetti-4336620.jpg?v=1755879238"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-pack","title":"Happy Birthday Pack","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHappy Birthday Pack – The Gift They’ll Never Forget (or Forgive)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause nothing says “Happy Birthday” like a mouthful of gummy dicks.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBalloons? Overdone. Cake? Basic. Singing “Happy Birthday” off-key? Awkward. If you really want to make someone’s birthday memorable, you send them the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHappy Birthday Pack\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – a birthday-themed box stuffed with a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, an “Eat a Bag of Dicks” notecard, and a greeting card that’s guaranteed to make them laugh, blush, or both.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a gift that walks the fine line between hilarious and offensive. It’s equal parts sweet and savage. And it ships 100 percent anonymously, so you can watch the chaos unfold without anyone pointing the finger at you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e now. Make this the birthday they talk about for years – and possibly hold against you forever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy The Happy Birthday Pack Is The Ultimate Birthday Dicks Move\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInstant laughter\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – No one expects to open a birthday gift and find a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring back at them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s actually tasty\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Chewy, fruity gummies that deliver both the joke and the sugar rush.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFully anonymous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – You get the glory, not the blame.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCustomizable mischief\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Add glitter, dick confetti, or a second bag of dicks for half off.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImagine it’s their birthday. The party’s in full swing. Someone hands them a brightly colored box. They tear it open… and freeze. Inside:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA bold “Eat a Bag of Dicks” notecard.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA cheeky birthday greeting card.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd, if you’re feeling extra spicy, a bit of extra glitter or dick confetti in the box makes a hilarious, festive dick sparkle go with their birthday present\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLaughter erupts. Someone pulls out their phone. Instagram stories are uploaded. And just like that, you’ve stolen the show without even being there.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews From Savage Gift-Givers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“I sent this to my sister for her birthday. She loved it!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “I sent this as a joke to my brother-in-law for his birthday. He laughed so hard.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Everyone got a laugh. We will be finding dick confetti for months.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBirthday-themed gift box\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that looks innocent… until it’s not\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOne bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e in fruity flavors\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks notecard\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e for maximum comedic impact\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBirthday greeting card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e with your personal touch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOptional extras:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Glitter, dick confetti, or a second bag of dicks for half price\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e so you can stay a mystery\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Birthday gag gift, anonymous surprise, petty revenge, office party prank, funny edible gift, white elephant birthday exchange\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It Works Every Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause birthdays are supposed to be fun – and nothing’s more fun than catching someone completely off guard. The \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHappy Birthday Pack\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the perfect mix of edible prank, inside joke, and social media gold.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven the people who pretend to be offended will secretly eat the gummy dicks, because they’re actually delicious. And unlike boring presents, this one lives rent-free in their head (and maybe in their carpet if you go for the glitter option).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend It. Laugh About It. Pretend It Wasn’t You.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, there’s a birthday coming up that’s begging for a little chaos. You could send something boring… or you could send a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHappy Birthday Pack\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and instantly become the most memorable part of their day.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHit  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e Ship a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of birthday dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e straight to their doorstep.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Make their wish come true – even if it’s the wish they didn’t know they had.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----- \/ -----","offer_id":3969903263757,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BIRTHDAYBOD-1+BDAYBODCARD","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter \/ -----","offer_id":3969903296525,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BIRTHDAYBOD-1+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti \/ -----","offer_id":3969903329293,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BDAYBOD-1+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903362061,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BDAYBOD-2+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903394829,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BDAYBOD-2+BDAYBODCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"----- \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903525901,"sku":"BDAYBUNDLEBOX+BDAYBOD-2+BDAYBODCARD","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/happy-birthday-pack-5784445.jpg?v=1755879236"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-jizz-bomb","title":"Spring Loaded Jizz Bomb!","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Jizz Bomb! – Because Subtlety is Overrated\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere are pranks… and then there’s launching a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Jizz Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e into someone’s life. This bad boy explodes in a shower of tiny white jizz-shaped confetti that gets \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eeverywhere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Floors. Counters. Hair. Clothes. Maybe even in their drink if the timing’s right. It’s messy, it’s obnoxious, and it’s so wildly inappropriate that it crosses the line, flips it off, and keeps running.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you want a prank that people will still be finding evidence of \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eweeks later\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, this is it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGrab one, pick your glitter weapon of choice, and make some poor soul’s day… unforgettable.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Jizz Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLasting Impact\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – The prank doesn’t stop when the tube pops. It lingers. It follows them to the store. It ends up on their couch two months later.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaximum Embarrassment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – These aren’t random sparkles. They’re \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eshapes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. And everyone will know exactly what they look like.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTotally Anonymous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Ships with zero branding, so you can watch the chaos from a safe, smug distance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImagine this: Your target opens what they think is a boring incense tube. They pop the cap… \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePOW!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A spring launches hundreds of little white “baby batter” cutouts into the air. Some stick to their shirt. A few land in their hair. The rest scatter across their floor like a glittery crime scene.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNow picture them at the grocery store hours later, still rocking a stray jizz piece in their bangs. A stranger notices, plucks it out, and hands it to them. “You dropped this.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat’s the Spring Loaded Jizz Bomb experience. And yes – it’s glorious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Customer Reactions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“What can I say… got him real good! Jizz went all over his kitchen counters, floors etc… I wish I could share more photos! Great gag!!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “It shot all over my face and went in my mouth… poor bastard still has no idea who sent it to him.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “My best friend had these little sly devils in her hair at the grocery store after the messy office fiasco. A stranger pulled one out and handed it to her 😂😂😂 This one was by far the BEST one!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat’s Inside the Tube\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFake incense tube disguise\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Looks innocent, until it isn’t.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring-loaded chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Packed to the brim with hundreds of jizz-shaped confetti pieces.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour choice of ammo:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eJust Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDouble the Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCombo Dick \u0026amp; Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMix in Regular Glitter w\/Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMix in Golden Shower Glitter w\/Jizz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"2\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHit 'em with the ultimate combo – Dicks \u0026amp; Jizz \u0026amp; Glitter\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eShips 100% anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – No receipts, no clues, no regrets.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It’s Better Than Any Other Glitter Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGlitter bombs are fun. But let’s be honest – plain glitter is for kids’ crafts. This is the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eadult upgrade\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. The \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSpring Loaded Jizz Bomb\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the prank equivalent of swapping a handshake for a full-on face slap.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s why it wins:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s not just messy, it’s \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eawkwardly specific\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe shapes make the story way funnier when they have to explain it to people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt travels. You’ll find these little guys everywhere for weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBirthday gags that will be talked about for years\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBreakup revenge that says “I’m fine” while clearly not being fine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBachelor party chaos before the tequila hits\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Just because” moments when your friend is getting too comfortable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHow to Pull It Off\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStep 1 – Pick your flavor of confetti filth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Step 2 – Add to cart and ship anonymously.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Step 3 – Wait for the glorious meltdown when they open it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThen just sit back, sip your drink, and know you’ve left a little piece of yourself (figuratively) in their home forever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend It. Watch the World Burn.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLife’s too short for polite pranks. If you’re going to interrupt someone’s day, you might as well \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eblast them with a load of spring-propelled jizz confetti\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that’ll haunt them for weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClick\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-b3dc32f0-7fff-2804-93b2-f1f354f7f45f\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e now and send the prank that’s part glitter bomb, part awkward conversation starter, and 100 percent unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Jizz","offer_id":41525677850708,"sku":"JIZZBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Jizz","offer_id":41525106245716,"sku":"DOUBLEJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dick \u0026 Jizz","offer_id":41525106212948,"sku":"DICKANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Regular Glitter w\/ Jizz","offer_id":41525106278484,"sku":"JIZZANDGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix in Golden Shower Glitter w\/ Jizz","offer_id":41525106311252,"sku":"JIZZANDGOLDENGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hit 'em with the ultimate combo Dicks \u0026 Jizz \u0026 Glitter","offer_id":41525106344020,"sku":"DICKJIZZANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/Spring_Loaded_Jizz_Bomb_post_nut.heic?v=1723498553"},{"product_id":"eat-a-bag-of-dicks-coloring-book","title":"Eat a Bag of Dicks Coloring Book!","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] @[37rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] @[72rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:32rem] @[34rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @[64rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"ee80aedc-1f78-45b4-a294-e9864bd716a6\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-5\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[3px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"90\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks Coloring Book!\u003c\/strong\u003e - The Most Offensive Stress Relief You’ll Ever Love\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"92\" data-end=\"455\"\u003eLook, adult coloring books are supposed to be relaxing. Zen. Meditative. But what if your “mindful art time” involved 75 pages of ridiculous, unapologetic cartoon dicks? Welcome to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"277\" data-end=\"314\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks Coloring Book!\u003c\/strong\u003e - the only coffee table coloring book that’s equal parts stress relief, laughter therapy, and “holy crap, did they really just draw that?”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"457\" data-end=\"883\"\u003eIf you’re looking for a \u003cstrong data-start=\"481\" data-end=\"502\"\u003ebirthday gag gift\u003c\/strong\u003e, a petty breakup present, or just something to make your adult “me time” a lot more inappropriate, this is it. It’s printed on \u003cstrong data-start=\"630\" data-end=\"661\"\u003ethick, artist-quality paper\u003c\/strong\u003e so your markers, crayons, or colored pencils glide like a dream. And the best part? Every order comes with a \u003cstrong data-start=\"771\" data-end=\"798\"\u003efree bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e because you deserve to snack while you color your way through a parade of penises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"885\" data-end=\"998\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"885\" data-end=\"910\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and make your next coloring session unforgettable, crude, and borderline therapeutic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1003\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1040\"\u003eWhy You Need This in Your Life\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1042\" data-end=\"1386\"\u003eBecause regular coloring books are boring. This isn’t flowers and mandalas - this is page after page of \u003cstrong data-start=\"1146\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003ehand-drawn cartoon dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e doing everything from riding skateboards to wearing tiny hats. It’s the kind of book you bring out at parties, bachelorette weekends, or when you’ve had a crap day and just need to laugh until your sides hurt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1388\" data-end=\"1814\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1388\" data-end=\"1459\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1459\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1424\"\u003e75 original dick illustrations\u003c\/strong\u003e - no repeats, no lazy copy-paste\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1460\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1491\"\u003eFull-size 8.5 x 11 inches\u003c\/strong\u003e - big pages for big laughs\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1521\" data-end=\"1600\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1600\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1546\"\u003ePremium thick paper\u003c\/strong\u003e - won’t bleed through when you go wild with markers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1601\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1603\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1603\" data-end=\"1630\"\u003eFree bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - snack while you color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1657\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1692\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - because some people just won’t understand your genius\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1751\" data-end=\"1814\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1753\" data-end=\"1814\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1753\" data-end=\"1812\"\u003ePerfect for birthdays, revenge, or “just because” gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1816\" data-end=\"1819\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1821\" data-end=\"1851\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1853\" data-end=\"2159\"\u003ePicture this: You’re hanging out with friends, someone sees this coloring book on your coffee table, and suddenly a chill night turns into an hours-long inappropriate art session. Or maybe you send it anonymously to your ex with a note that says “Thought you could use something to keep your hands busy.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2161\" data-end=\"2450\"\u003eOr maybe, like one of our reviewers, you send it to a friend recovering in the hospital, and the thing gets lost in the chaos. Instead of just shrugging, we send them \u003cstrong data-start=\"2328\" data-end=\"2378\"\u003ea new coloring book, crayons, and dick candies\u003c\/strong\u003e straight to their home. Because customer service, but make it filthy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2455\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2457\" data-end=\"2496\"\u003eReal Reviews from Repeat Offenders\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2498\" data-end=\"3244\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2498\" data-end=\"3012\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2500\" data-end=\"3012\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2500\" data-end=\"3010\"\u003e“I got this fantastic coloring book for a friend who needed some cheering up. Most definitely did do that! But the best thing that ever happened was that I had originally sent this to the hospital. But it got lost somewhere at the hospital. Your awesome company sent my friend a new coloring book and crayons, along with some dick candies to her house once she was home. That is beyond the best customer service I could ever ask for. Thank you for cheering up my friend. I will definitely be ordering again.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3013\" data-end=\"3138\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3015\" data-end=\"3138\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3015\" data-end=\"3136\"\u003e“Omg this is seriously the best coloring book ever!!!! I love every single page!!! I highly recommend it to everyone!!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3139\" data-end=\"3244\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3141\" data-end=\"3244\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3141\" data-end=\"3242\"\u003e“Absolutely love this coloring book!! It's so funny and makes my adult away time so much more fun.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3246\" data-end=\"3249\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3251\" data-end=\"3267\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3269\" data-end=\"3548\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3269\" data-end=\"3320\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3271\" data-end=\"3320\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3271\" data-end=\"3293\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e that people actually use\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3321\" data-end=\"3372\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3323\" data-end=\"3372\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3323\" data-end=\"3342\"\u003eBreakup revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e that’s more funny than mean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3373\" data-end=\"3433\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3375\" data-end=\"3433\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3375\" data-end=\"3392\"\u003eStress relief\u003c\/strong\u003e for people with a dirty sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3434\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3436\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3436\" data-end=\"3459\"\u003eAnonymous surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e that get people talking\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3486\" data-end=\"3548\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3488\" data-end=\"3548\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3488\" data-end=\"3512\"\u003eBachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e that need an activity and a laugh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3550\" data-end=\"3553\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3555\" data-end=\"3579\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3581\" data-end=\"3946\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3581\" data-end=\"3626\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3583\" data-end=\"3626\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3583\" data-end=\"3624\"\u003eFull-size 8.5 x 11 inch coloring book\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3627\" data-end=\"3701\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3629\" data-end=\"3701\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3629\" data-end=\"3658\"\u003e75 original illustrations\u003c\/strong\u003e of cartoon dicks in hilarious situations\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3702\" data-end=\"3776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3704\" data-end=\"3776\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3704\" data-end=\"3735\"\u003eThick, artist-quality paper\u003c\/strong\u003e that’s perfect for any coloring medium\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3777\" data-end=\"3825\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3779\" data-end=\"3825\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3779\" data-end=\"3806\"\u003eFree bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e with every order\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3826\" data-end=\"3862\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3828\" data-end=\"3862\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3828\" data-end=\"3860\"\u003eShips completely anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3863\" data-end=\"3946\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3865\" data-end=\"3946\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3865\" data-end=\"3886\"\u003eGuaranteed laughs\u003c\/strong\u003e or at least some very weird looks from anyone who sees it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3948\" data-end=\"3951\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3953\" data-end=\"3988\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3990\" data-end=\"4272\"\u003eBecause it’s unexpected, it’s outrageous, and it turns something as wholesome as coloring into a filthy, laugh-until-you-snort experience. This isn’t a gift they’ll shove in a drawer - it’s a gift they’ll whip out whenever they want to feel better, kill time, or shock new guests.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4274\" data-end=\"4374\"\u003eSo don’t just color inside the lines - color a page full of cartoon dicks while eating candy ones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4376\" data-end=\"4497\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4376\" data-end=\"4401\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and give yourself (or someone else) the kind of creative therapy you can’t find at Michael’s.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"1 + Free Bag of Dicks Promo! \/ Standard","offer_id":8470736633911,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"1 \/ Standard","offer_id":12302794653751,"sku":"","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2 \/ Standard","offer_id":12302794686519,"sku":"","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4 \/ Standard","offer_id":12302794719287,"sku":"","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"1 + Free Bag of Dicks Promo! \/ Christmas Version","offer_id":12802690220087,"sku":"","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"1 \/ Christmas Version","offer_id":12802692153399,"sku":"","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2 \/ Christmas Version","offer_id":12802692218935,"sku":"","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4 \/ Christmas Version","offer_id":12802692382775,"sku":"","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-bag-of-dicks-coloring-book-3469638.jpg?v=1755879241"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-white-chocolate-dick","title":"Eat a Dick - Valentine's White Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003cp\u003eRoses are so 2000. Chocolate is in......even better, a gross flesh colored chocolate dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis \u003cstrong\u003eWhite Chocolate Flesh Colored Dick in a box is perfect\u003c\/strong\u003e for a special occasion or just a friendly reminder to eat a dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade with white chocolate and orange coloring to create a flesh colored dong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003eGluten Free, nut free (no pun intended), and made from Peruvian cacao beans, these four ounce chocolates are perfect for your next practical joke, gag gift, or adult party. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003eThese delicious chocolate dicks run between 4-5 inches and 3-4 ounces of wonderful chocolate penis in your mouth. . Hmmm\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":12598433579063,"sku":"BW","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-dick-valentines-white-chocolate-dick-9272695.jpg?v=1755879235"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-valentines-day-dick","title":"Eat a Dick - Chocolate Dick in Nuts About You","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"197\" data-end=\"250\"\u003eEat a Dick - Chocolate Dick in Nuts About You\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"540\"\u003eValentine’s Day is full of roses, teddy bears, and “I love you” cards. Boring. Predictable. Lame. If you want to truly surprise someone, skip the clichés and give them the one gift they’ll never forget - a solid chocolate penis tucked inside a Valentine’s Day “Nuts About You” gift box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"542\" data-end=\"885\"\u003eYep. You read that right. A premium gluten free Peruvian cacao cock, lovingly molded for maximum comedic effect, sitting pretty in a pink pixel-heart-themed box. Whether it’s for your partner, your gal pal, your ex, or just someone who deserves a mouthful of rich chocolate justice, this is the ultimate gag gift with actual gourmet quality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"1044\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"1042\"\u003eOrder now, ship it 100 percent anonymously, and watch the confusion turn into laughter (and possibly a suspiciously long pause before that first bite).\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1049\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003eWhy You Need This in Your Life\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1088\" data-end=\"1369\"\u003eMost Valentine’s gifts are instantly forgettable. This? Not a chance. No one is tossing this in a drawer. No one is leaving it on the table without a double take. This is the kind of present that sparks stories - the “remember when” tales that live on in friend groups for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1371\" data-end=\"1623\"\u003eIt’s not just a joke. This chocolate dick is made from legit, gluten free Peruvian cacao, so even if they’re shocked, they’re also getting a seriously good piece of candy. You’re not just sending laughs. You’re sending laughs that melt in your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1625\" data-end=\"1628\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1630\" data-end=\"1672\"\u003eHow It Goes Down (Pun Fully Intended)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1674\" data-end=\"1858\"\u003ePicture this: they see the Valentine’s Day box. They think, “Aww, how sweet.” They open it. Boom. There it is. A proud, 4 to 5.5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce chocolate penis staring them down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1860\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003eThe reaction is always the same - stunned silence, immediate laughter, and then a wave of naughty jokes that last the whole night. Some people eat it right away. Some keep it as a trophy. Some post it online and let the internet do its thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2106\" data-end=\"2109\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2111\" data-end=\"2154\"\u003eStraight From the Legends Who Sent It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2156\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2156\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e“I never buy a Valentine’s present for my lover but when I scrolled past this on IG, it was a MUST BUY. He came home grumpy so I gave it to him early. He was embarrassed, wouldn’t let me take photos, but I didn’t stop making every naughty joke possible and still do!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2428\" data-end=\"2569\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2430\" data-end=\"2569\"\u003e“This was the perfect Valentine gift for my friend!! She laughed so much when she opened it. Best part - the chocolate is really good!!!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2570\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2572\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e“Arrived SO quickly and looked exactly like the photos. My best friend still talks about it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2669\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2674\" data-end=\"2690\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2692\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2692\" data-end=\"2746\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2694\" data-end=\"2746\"\u003eValentine’s Day gifts that actually get remembered\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2747\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2749\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003eGalentine’s pranks between besties\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2786\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2788\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eBreakup revenge with a sweet aftertaste\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"2857\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2832\" data-end=\"2857\"\u003eAnonymous edible pranks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2858\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2860\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003eAdult novelty gifts that don’t suck (but might get sucked on)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2925\" data-end=\"2928\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2930\" data-end=\"2961\"\u003eWhat You’re Really Sending\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2963\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2963\" data-end=\"3017\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2965\" data-end=\"3017\"\u003eA Valentine’s Day pixel-heart-themed pink gift box\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3018\" data-end=\"3077\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3020\" data-end=\"3077\"\u003eA solid chocolate penis, 4 to 5.5 inches, 3 to 4 ounces\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3078\" data-end=\"3142\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3142\"\u003eMade from gluten free Peruvian cacao for rich, smooth flavor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3143\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3145\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously for maximum mystery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3201\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3203\" data-end=\"3233\"\u003eHow to Send It Like a Pro\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3235\" data-end=\"3423\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3235\" data-end=\"3259\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3238\" data-end=\"3259\"\u003eAdd it to your cart\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3260\" data-end=\"3333\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3263\" data-end=\"3333\"\u003eChoose where it’s going (direct to them or to you for hand delivery)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3334\" data-end=\"3423\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3337\" data-end=\"3423\"\u003eSit back and prepare yourself for the texts, calls, or Instagram stories that follow\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3425\" data-end=\"3428\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3430\" data-end=\"3446\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3448\" data-end=\"3734\"\u003eThe Eat a Dick - Chocolate Dick in Nuts About You gift is more than just candy. It’s comedy, shock value, and a gourmet treat all rolled into one box. It’s the Valentine’s Day present for people who hate boring presents. It’s the ultimate edible “gotcha” for friends, lovers, or exes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3736\" data-end=\"3863\"\u003eForget the flowers. Forget the jewelry. If you want something unforgettable, sweet, and just a little scandalous, this is it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3865\" data-end=\"3917\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3865\" data-end=\"3915\"\u003eSend the dick. Make the memory. Laugh forever.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3972\" data-start=\"3920\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21425264001108,"sku":"NUTSCHOCODICK","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-dark-chocolate-cock-eat-a-dick-1390259.jpg?v=1772056670"},{"product_id":"valentines-day-pack","title":"Valentine’s Day Pack: Gummy Bag of Dicks, Pop-Up Dick Card, and Optional Dick Confetti","description":"\u003ch3\u003eValentine’s Day Pack: Gummy Bag of Dicks, Pop-Up Dick Card, and Optional Glitter or Confetti 🍬💌✨\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis Valentine’s Day, ditch the boring gifts and send something unforgettable (and slightly inappropriate). The \u003cstrong\u003eValentine’s Day Pack\u003c\/strong\u003e has everything you need to bring laughter, sass, and maybe just a little chaos to someone’s day. It’s packed with \u003cstrong\u003edelicious gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e, a \u003cstrong\u003epop-up dick card\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the option to sprinkle in \u003cstrong\u003eglitter or dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e for good measure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Inside:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🍬 \u003cstrong\u003e\"I Thought You Could Use Some Dick\" Gummy Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – Sweet, fruity, and ridiculously hilarious, these \u003cstrong\u003edelicious gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e are guaranteed to make anyone laugh (and snack happily).\u003cbr\u003e💌 \u003cstrong\u003eValentine's Day Pop-Up Dick Card\u003c\/strong\u003e – A bold, cheeky card that literally pops up to tell them to eat a dick, but in the cutest way possible.\u003cbr\u003e✨ \u003cstrong\u003eOptional Glitter or Dick Confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because nothing says “I care” like glitter in places they’ll be finding for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s the Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGive Your Galentine Some Dick (You Knew They Were Missing)\u003c\/strong\u003e – Show your bestie you’re looking out for them. After all, every Galentine deserves a little extra love… in gummy form.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTell Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend There’s More Dick Coming\u003c\/strong\u003e – The pop-up card and \u003cstrong\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e are just the start. Consider it a teaser for what’s to come later.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eConfuse the Shit Out of Someone Anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e – Send this to a friend, crush, or coworker, and let them wonder if “eat a dick” is a compliment or an insult. (It’s both.)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTell Your Asshole Ex to Eat a Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because closure tastes sweeter when it’s shaped like a gummy penis.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy They’ll Love It (Even If They Hate It):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e are \u003cstrong\u003edeliciously fruity\u003c\/strong\u003e, making them the perfect snack (and subtle roast).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe pop-up card is bold enough to say what you’re thinking but cute enough to soften the blow.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOptional glitter or \u003cstrong\u003edick-shaped confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e ensures they’ll be talking about this gift long after Valentine’s Day.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis \u003cstrong\u003eheart gift box for her, him, or anyone\u003c\/strong\u003e is your one-stop shop for laughter, awkwardness, and unforgettable memories. Whether it’s for your \u003cstrong\u003egirlfriend\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003eboyfriend\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003eGalentine\u003c\/strong\u003e, or that \u003cstrong\u003eex who really deserves it\u003c\/strong\u003e, the \u003cstrong\u003eValentine’s Day Pack\u003c\/strong\u003e is here to bring the fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo, go ahead—spread some joy, send some sass, and give someone the sweetest sack of dicks they’ll ever receive. 💌✨🍬\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----- \/ -----","offer_id":21425316134996,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter \/ -----","offer_id":21425316167764,"sku":"","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti \/ -----","offer_id":21425316200532,"sku":"","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":21425316233300,"sku":"","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":21425316266068,"sku":"","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"----- \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":21425316298836,"sku":"","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/go-f-yourself-valentines-day-pack-2999489.jpg?v=1755878740"},{"product_id":"valentines-day-card-love-of-my-life","title":"Love of My Life Pop Up Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] @[37rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] @[72rem]:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:32rem] @[34rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @[64rem]:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"24bd1e38-4c66-4660-874c-ac49bf7f1f5f\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-5\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[3px]\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003eThe Valentine’s Day Card That Says “I Love You”… and Then Tells Them to Eat a Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"327\" data-end=\"731\"\u003eForget flowers, chocolates, and all that mushy Hallmark garbage. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"396\" data-end=\"427\"\u003eLove of My Life Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is the most brutally honest, laugh-out-loud, slightly offensive way to say “I care” without actually being romantic. On the outside, it looks like a sweet Valentine’s Day greeting card. On the inside? Boom, a glorious 3D pop-up penis springs to life along with the heartfelt message: \u003cstrong data-start=\"712\" data-end=\"729\"\u003e“EAT A DICK.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"733\" data-end=\"966\"\u003eThis isn’t just a card. This is a statement. A bold, ballsy, unforgettable way to make your partner, ex, or even your best friend howl with laughter. And because it ships 100 percent anonymously, you can keep them guessing forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"968\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"968\" data-end=\"993\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and give someone the most memorable Valentine’s Day surprise of their life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1076\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003eWhy This Card Is the Only One Worth Buying\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1308\"\u003eEvery other Valentine’s card is just boring. You buy it, they open it, they smile politely, and it ends up in the trash two days later. But this card? This card is \u003cstrong data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1305\"\u003ethe moment\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1310\" data-end=\"1613\"\u003eWhether you’re pulling off the ultimate romantic prank or delivering a breakup burn they will never forget, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1422\" data-end=\"1453\"\u003eLove of My Life Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e nails the balance between sweet and savage. Pair it with optional add-ons like a bag of dicks, dick confetti, or glitter for an even more explosive surprise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1615\" data-end=\"1618\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1620\" data-end=\"1654\"\u003eA True Story of Pop-Up Glory\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1655\" data-end=\"1980\"\u003ePicture this. It’s Valentine’s morning. Your partner opens the envelope, expecting some mushy love poem. The card unfolds, and there it is, a full-on, unapologetic pop-up penis in all its 3D glory. They laugh so hard they can’t breathe. You just secured your spot in the Hall of Fame for funniest Valentine’s Day gift ever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1982\" data-end=\"2010\"\u003eDon’t take my word for it:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2011\" data-end=\"2131\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2011\" data-end=\"2056\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2013\" data-end=\"2056\"\u003e“This really brought out a great laugh!!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2057\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2059\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e“My favorite gift lol”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2131\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2131\"\u003e“This was a shocking hit... They loved it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2133\" data-end=\"2136\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2138\" data-end=\"2160\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2161\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2161\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2163\" data-end=\"2201\"\u003eFolded Valentine’s Day greeting card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2202\" data-end=\"2261\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2204\" data-end=\"2261\"\u003e3D pop-up penis with bold \u003cstrong data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2244\"\u003eEAT A DICK\u003c\/strong\u003e message inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2262\" data-end=\"2295\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2264\" data-end=\"2295\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2298\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003eOptional add-ons: bag of dicks, dick confetti, glitter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2355\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2357\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003ePerfect for Valentine’s Day prank, romantic gag gift, Galentine’s joke, breakup revenge, cheeky celebration\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2468\" data-end=\"2471\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2473\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003eHow to Use It for Maximum Laughs\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2512\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2512\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003eSlip it into a pile of serious gifts so it is the last thing they expect\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2589\" data-end=\"2662\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2591\" data-end=\"2662\"\u003eHand-deliver it with a straight face and act confused when they react\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2665\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003eSend it anonymously to keep them guessing for years\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2719\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2721\" data-end=\"2797\"\u003ePair it with chocolate or flowers for the perfect “sweet but savage” combo\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2799\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2826\"\u003eThe Secret Sauce\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2827\" data-end=\"3112\"\u003eThe genius of this card is in the \u003cstrong data-start=\"2861\" data-end=\"2880\"\u003esurprise factor\u003c\/strong\u003e. The outside says “romance.” The inside says “eat a dick.” And the pop-up makes sure they cannot miss the point. It is a physical joke they will remember forever, which is more than you can say about a teddy bear holding a heart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3114\" data-end=\"3117\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3119\" data-end=\"3136\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3137\" data-end=\"3409\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3141\" data-end=\"3172\"\u003eLove of My Life Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the bold, the mischievous, and the people who think romance and laughter should come in equal doses. Whether you are celebrating love, mocking it, or just trying to make your friends cry-laugh, this card is the ultimate weapon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3411\" data-end=\"3525\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3411\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send the funniest, most inappropriate Valentine’s Day card they will ever receive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3395\" data-end=\"3507\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":21488978002004,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":21488978067540,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":21488978133076,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":21488978165844,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/love-of-my-life-pop-up-card-6888878.png?v=1755879205"},{"product_id":"the-chocolate-dick-bag-of-dicks-combo","title":"The Chocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo!","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDouble the dicks. Double the laughs. Double the deliciously inappropriate chaos.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"662\" data-start=\"379\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to send the perfect “I adore you but also go eat a dick” gift, you’ve just found it. \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(255, 42, 0);\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-end=\"529\" data-start=\"490\"\u003eChocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e is the ultimate edible prank package – a classy-meets-crass masterpiece that delivers both shock value and snack value in one box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"935\" data-start=\"664\"\u003eInside, you’ll find a hefty 5 inch, 4 ounce \u003cstrong data-end=\"733\" data-start=\"708\"\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao, paired with a bag of fruity, chewy gummy dicks. It’s basically the fine wine and cheese board of inappropriate gifts… only much funnier and way less pretentious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1176\" data-start=\"937\"\u003eIt ships 100 percent anonymously in a plain, discreet box, so you can unleash your edible chaos without ever getting caught. Perfect for birthdays, white elephant exchanges, breakups, office parties, or the sweet, sweet taste of revenge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1258\" data-start=\"1178\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-end=\"1199\" data-start=\"1184\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e right now. Send the combo. Sit back. Wait for the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1263\" data-start=\"1260\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1309\" data-start=\"1265\"\u003eWhy This Combo is the King of Gag Gifts\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1311\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1311\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1313\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1335\" data-start=\"1313\"\u003eDouble the trouble\u003c\/strong\u003e – One big chocolate cock plus a whole bag of gummy dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1522\" data-start=\"1396\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1522\" data-start=\"1398\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1416\" data-start=\"1398\"\u003eActually tasty\u003c\/strong\u003e – Gourmet chocolate that melts in your mouth and fruity gummies that don’t taste like cheap joke candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1523\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1525\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1549\" data-start=\"1525\"\u003eCompletely anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e – No sender info, no receipt, no way to trace it back to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1614\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1616\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1658\" data-start=\"1616\"\u003ePerfect for any inappropriate occasion\u003c\/strong\u003e – From birthday gag gifts to revenge pranks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1710\" data-start=\"1707\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1742\" data-start=\"1712\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1932\" data-start=\"1744\"\u003ePicture this. They open the box, expecting socks or maybe a boring gift card. Instead – boom – a \u003cstrong data-end=\"1879\" data-start=\"1841\"\u003eperfectly sculpted chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e staring them down like it knows all their secrets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2157\" data-start=\"1934\"\u003eThen, just when they think they’ve seen it all, they find the bag of gummy dicks. Bright, colorful, and unapologetically phallic. Now it’s laughter, blushing, maybe a few phone pics that hit the group chat within seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2337\" data-start=\"2159\"\u003eThey either eat it right away or display it on the counter like a weird edible trophy. Either way, they’ll never forget the moment they got your chocolate and candy dick combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2342\" data-start=\"2339\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2385\" data-start=\"2344\"\u003eReal Reviews from Real Prank Legends\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2721\" data-start=\"2387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2721\" data-start=\"2389\"\u003e“I ordered this for Father’s Day as a joke to my ex. He thought it was absolutely hilarious and said the candy was great quality. Lol. He said to rate this 5 stars.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2557\" data-start=\"2554\"\u003e“It’s was delicious and solid… The chocolate was so rich I couldn’t stop eating it.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2646\" data-start=\"2643\"\u003e“Perfect for white elephant holiday gift. Gummies were actually tasty!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2726\" data-start=\"2723\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2752\" data-start=\"2728\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"2754\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2840\" data-start=\"2754\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2840\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2801\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003eOne 5 inch, 4 ounce solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2898\" data-start=\"2841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2898\" data-start=\"2843\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2869\" data-start=\"2843\"\u003eOne bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e in multiple fruity flavors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2956\" data-start=\"2899\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2956\" data-start=\"2901\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2913\" data-start=\"2901\"\u003eFlavors:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rich chocolate, plus sweet chewy gummies\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3022\" data-start=\"2957\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3022\" data-start=\"2959\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2973\" data-start=\"2959\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Discreet plain box with no branding or receipt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3070\" data-start=\"3023\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3070\" data-start=\"3025\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3038\" data-start=\"3025\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"3071\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3089\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday gag gift, anonymous prank, white elephant gift, breakup joke, office party surprise, edible revenge gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3210\" data-start=\"3207\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3247\" data-start=\"3212\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3506\" data-start=\"3249\"\u003eBecause it’s not just one joke gift – it’s two. They get the big chocolate shock factor, and then the gummy follow-up that keeps the laughter going. Even people who act fake-offended will sneak a taste, because good chocolate and gummies are irresistible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3719\" data-start=\"3508\"\u003ePlus, it’s the kind of gift that gets talked about for weeks. It pops up in group chats. It gets a mention in awkward family conversations. It might even make someone think twice before messing with you again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3724\" data-start=\"3721\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3763\" data-start=\"3726\"\u003eSend the Combo. Make the Memory.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3936\" data-start=\"3765\"\u003eThis isn’t the time for half measures. Don’t just send a bag of dicks. Don’t just send a chocolate penis. Send both in one glorious, edible, unforgettable prank package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"4042\" data-start=\"3938\"\u003eHit \u003cstrong data-end=\"3957\" data-start=\"3942\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now. Be the reason someone says, “You won’t believe what I got in the mail today.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21880891670612,"sku":"","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-chocolate-dick-bag-of-dicks-combo-3219535.jpg?v=1755879211"},{"product_id":"mothers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card","title":"Mother's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"333\"\u003eMother’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"694\"\u003eHappy Mother’s Day? Not this year. This year you’re sending the most savage card on the internet: the \u003cstrong data-start=\"437\" data-end=\"476\"\u003eMother’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e. Forget the flowers, screw the chocolates, and toss out the sappy Hallmark crap. This card starts sweet… then rips the rug out and hits the reader right in the gut with the punchline: \u003cstrong data-start=\"661\" data-end=\"692\"\u003e“Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"936\"\u003eThis is not your grandma’s card. This is the \u003cstrong data-start=\"741\" data-end=\"773\"\u003ehappy Mother’s Day dick card\u003c\/strong\u003e that doubles as a middle finger in cardstock form. It’s the perfect weapon for pranks, revenge, or just proving you’re funnier than everyone else in the family.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"938\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"938\" data-end=\"957\"\u003eAdd to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and prepare for the most brutal Mother’s Day laugh in history.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1027\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1029\" data-end=\"1066\"\u003eWhy You Actually Need This Card\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1294\"\u003eBecause sometimes “Happy Mother’s Day” isn’t enough. Sometimes you want to send something more… memorable. Something that doesn’t get shoved in a drawer and forgotten. This is the card that will have people talking for weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003eMaybe you’ve got a twisted sense of humor. Maybe you’ve got some petty revenge cooking. Or maybe you just think a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1410\" data-end=\"1437\"\u003eMother’s Day penis card\u003c\/strong\u003e is the greatest invention since brunch mimosas. Whatever the reason, this dick pop up card does the job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1546\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1551\" data-end=\"1581\"\u003eA Story You’ll Relate To\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1582\" data-end=\"1785\"\u003eOne customer said: \u003cem data-start=\"1601\" data-end=\"1706\"\u003e“This was to my boss, me and her are super close and I knew this would be a good laugh for both of us!”\u003c\/em\u003e That’s the power of this card. Instant chaos, instant laugh, instant memory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1953\"\u003eAnother customer went savage mode: \u003cem data-start=\"1822\" data-end=\"1926\"\u003e“She absolutely hated it but she cheated on me so I think it was perfectly executed. Would use again.”\u003c\/em\u003e Brutal. Cold. Legendary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1955\" data-end=\"2152\"\u003eAnd then there’s the delivery experience: \u003cem data-start=\"1997\" data-end=\"2076\"\u003e“Delivered on time and anonymously to put that ‘smile’ on someone’s face 😁.”\u003c\/em\u003e Because yes, it ships 100 percent anonymous, which makes it even juicier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2154\" data-end=\"2157\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2159\" data-end=\"2184\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2185\" data-end=\"2587\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2185\" data-end=\"2267\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2187\" data-end=\"2267\"\u003eA folded \u003cstrong data-start=\"2196\" data-end=\"2220\"\u003e4.25 x 5.5 inch card\u003c\/strong\u003e that looks sweet and innocent on the outside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2268\" data-end=\"2365\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2365\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2292\"\u003eHappy Mother’s Day\u003c\/strong\u003e on the front, with the hidden “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick” reveal inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2366\" data-end=\"2438\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2368\" data-end=\"2438\"\u003eMade with premium \u003cstrong data-start=\"2386\" data-end=\"2418\"\u003e14 pt double-sided cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e so it feels legit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2439\" data-end=\"2513\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2441\" data-end=\"2513\"\u003ePackaged in cellophane with a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2471\" data-end=\"2489\"\u003ewhite envelope\u003c\/strong\u003e so it’s ready to send\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2514\" data-end=\"2587\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2516\" data-end=\"2587\"\u003eShips discreetly and \u003cstrong data-start=\"2537\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003eanonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can keep your secret safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2589\" data-end=\"2592\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2594\" data-end=\"2611\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2612\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2612\" data-end=\"2670\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2614\" data-end=\"2670\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2616\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003eMother’s Day prank\u003c\/strong\u003e when love and sarcasm collide\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2671\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2673\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2673\" data-end=\"2694\"\u003eAnonymous revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e that hits harder than a bad tattoo\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2732\" data-end=\"2801\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2734\" data-end=\"2801\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2736\" data-end=\"2752\"\u003ebreakup joke\u003c\/strong\u003e that says everything you wish you could scream\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"2863\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2863\"\u003eAn \u003cstrong data-start=\"2807\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eadult novelty card\u003c\/strong\u003e that doubles as a story starter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2864\" data-end=\"2916\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2866\" data-end=\"2916\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2868\" data-end=\"2886\"\u003epetty surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e for anyone who deserves one\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2917\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2919\" data-end=\"2984\"\u003eA \u003cstrong data-start=\"2921\" data-end=\"2950\"\u003eMother’s Day dickpop card\u003c\/strong\u003e that will be remembered forever\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"2989\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2991\" data-end=\"3027\"\u003eCustomer Reviews That Prove It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3028\" data-end=\"3318\"\u003e“This was to my boss, me and her are super close and I knew this would be a good laugh for both of us!”\u003cbr data-start=\"3131\" data-end=\"3134\"\u003e“She absolutely hated it but she cheated on me so I think it was perfectly executed. Would use again.”\u003cbr data-start=\"3236\" data-end=\"3239\"\u003e“Delivered on time and anonymously to put that ‘smile’ on someone’s face 😁.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3320\" data-end=\"3323\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3325\" data-end=\"3371\"\u003eWhy This Card Slaps Harder Than the Rest\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3372\" data-end=\"3621\"\u003eTraditional Mother’s Day cards are lame. They all say the same crap: “You’re the best mom in the world,” or “Thanks for everything.” Snooze fest. This one fakes sincerity and then absolutely destroys expectations with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3594\" data-end=\"3619\"\u003eeat a dick punchline.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3623\" data-end=\"3837\"\u003eIt’s funny. It’s shocking. And it’s the type of prank that creates a moment instead of just filling an envelope. That’s why people keep coming back for more. Because once you pull this off, nothing else compares.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3839\" data-end=\"3842\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3844\" data-end=\"3861\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3862\" data-end=\"4111\"\u003eIf you want to give a boring “I love you mom” card, hit up Target. But if you want to unleash a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3958\" data-end=\"3985\"\u003eMother’s Day prank card\u003c\/strong\u003e that doubles as a savage joke and a legendary memory, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"4044\" data-end=\"4083\"\u003eMother’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is your weapon of choice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4113\" data-end=\"4202\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4113\" data-end=\"4138\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send a Mother’s Day message that no one will ever forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4113\" data-end=\"4202\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":28058708082772,"sku":"MOTHERSDAYEATADCARD","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":28058708148308,"sku":"MOTHERSDAYEATADCARD+GLITTER-BLUE","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":28058708213844,"sku":"MOTHERSDAYEATADCARD+GLITTER-DICK","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":28058708246612,"sku":"MOTHERSDAYEATADCARD+BOD","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/mothers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card-7137373.png?v=1755879207"},{"product_id":"fathers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card","title":"Father's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"174\" data-end=\"214\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFather’s Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"216\" data-end=\"351\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"216\" data-end=\"349\"\u003eThis Father’s Day, forget the socks, ties, and boring mugs. Give Dad the one thing he’s not expecting - a heartfelt “Eat a Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"353\" data-end=\"762\"\u003eSeriously, why waste your money on a generic card that’s going straight in a drawer? This is the card that makes people choke on their coffee, spit out their beer, and laugh until they cry. It starts off all sweet - “Happy Father’s Day” in a nice, innocent font. He opens it up, probably expecting some sappy “Thanks for everything, Dad” crap. Nope. Big, bold, and beautiful: \u003cstrong data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"760\"\u003e“Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"764\" data-end=\"940\"\u003eIt’s not just a card. It’s a Father’s Day experience. A rollercoaster of emotions in 3 seconds flat. And because we’re all about pranks done right, it ships 100% anonymously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"942\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"942\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now and make Dad’s Father’s Day one for the history books.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1026\" data-end=\"1029\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1031\" data-end=\"1088\"\u003eWhy This Card Crushes Every Other Father’s Day Gift\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1089\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003eLet’s be honest. Father’s Day gifts have been phoned in for decades. Golf tees, grilling tools, and those weird “Best Dad” beer koozies that end up in a garage drawer. This card breaks the cycle. It’s:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1294\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1294\" data-end=\"1342\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1342\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1311\"\u003eUnexpected:\u003c\/strong\u003e Starts sincere, ends savage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1343\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1345\" data-end=\"1427\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1345\" data-end=\"1369\"\u003eInstantly memorable:\u003c\/strong\u003e He’ll never forget the year you told him to eat a dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1428\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1430\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003eEffortless:\u003c\/strong\u003e No shopping mall nightmare. Just click, ship, and wait for the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1519\" data-end=\"1662\"\u003eAnd if your relationship with Dad is full of roasts, jabs, and inappropriate humor - this card is basically your love language in paper form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1664\" data-end=\"1667\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1669\" data-end=\"1702\"\u003eThe Scene: How It Plays Out\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1703\" data-end=\"1944\"\u003ePicture it. You hand Dad his Father’s Day card. Maybe you even throw in a gift bag with a 6-pack or a bottle of whiskey so he’s extra relaxed. He smiles, reads “Happy Father’s Day,” and probably starts thanking you before he even opens it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2133\"\u003eThen - bam. “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1985\" data-end=\"1988\"\u003eThe room explodes. You’re laughing. He’s laughing. Mom’s rolling her eyes but trying not to laugh too. And that’s it - you’ve won Father’s Day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2135\" data-end=\"2138\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2140\" data-end=\"2161\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2162\" data-end=\"2556\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2162\" data-end=\"2213\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2164\" data-end=\"2213\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2164\" data-end=\"2173\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.25 x 5.50 inch folded greeting card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2214\" data-end=\"2249\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2216\" data-end=\"2249\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2216\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Happy Father’s Day”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2250\" data-end=\"2306\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2252\" data-end=\"2306\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2252\" data-end=\"2263\"\u003eInside:\u003c\/strong\u003e “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick” in bold print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2361\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2309\" data-end=\"2361\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2309\" data-end=\"2322\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium double-sided 14 pt cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2362\" data-end=\"2421\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2364\" data-end=\"2421\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2364\" data-end=\"2378\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cellophane wrapped with a white envelope\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2422\" data-end=\"2463\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2463\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2437\"\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% anonymous delivery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2464\" data-end=\"2556\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2466\" data-end=\"2556\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2466\" data-end=\"2480\"\u003eOccasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Father’s Day prank, gag gift for Dad, family roast, novelty greeting card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2558\" data-end=\"2561\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2599\"\u003eWhat Real Customers Are Saying\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2600\" data-end=\"2784\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2600\" data-end=\"2712\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2602\" data-end=\"2712\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2602\" data-end=\"2710\"\u003e“It was hilarious to see his reaction. I'd definitely be back to buy some more stuff. My friend loved it!”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2713\" data-end=\"2784\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2715\" data-end=\"2784\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2715\" data-end=\"2782\"\u003e“Delivered as promised. It was the perfect gag for Father’s Day.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2786\" data-end=\"2789\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2791\" data-end=\"2823\"\u003eHow to Make it Even Better\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2824\" data-end=\"3033\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2824\" data-end=\"2925\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2826\" data-end=\"2925\"\u003ePair it with one of our edible pranks like \u003cstrong data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2891\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong data-start=\"2895\" data-end=\"2922\"\u003eCheeky Chocolate Treats\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2926\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2928\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003eAdd it to a gift basket so it’s even more unexpected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2984\" data-end=\"3033\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"3033\"\u003eMail it anonymously for maximum “WTF” factor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3035\" data-end=\"3038\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3040\" data-end=\"3214\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3040\" data-end=\"3056\"\u003eBottom line:\u003c\/strong\u003e This isn’t just another Father’s Day card. It’s the kind of gift that makes family memories - the kind you can’t post on Facebook without getting reported.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3216\" data-end=\"3312\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3216\" data-end=\"3310\"\u003eSo stop being basic. Click Add to Cart and give Dad the only card he’ll actually remember.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3216\" data-end=\"3312\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":28140133744724,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":28140133810260,"sku":"","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":28140133875796,"sku":"","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":28140133908564,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/fathers-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card-1871380.jpg?v=1755879206"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-pride-box-limited-edition","title":"Eat a Chocolate Dick - The Pride Box","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis milk chocolate dick is the perfect way to ring in PRIDE 2019 for all of your celebrating needs. Happy Dicking! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003eGluten Free, nut free (no pun intended), and made from Peruvian cacao beans, these four ounce chocolates are perfect for your next practical joke, gag gift, or adult party. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003eThese delicious chocolate dicks run between 4-5 inches and 3-4 ounces of wonderful chocolate penis in your mouth. Hmmm\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan face=\"arial, helvetica, sans-serif\"\u003eShipped anonymously of course.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28664928731220,"sku":"FABULOUSCHOCOD","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-dark-chocolate-cock-eat-a-dick-5856655.jpg?v=1779392635"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-valentines-day","title":"Be Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"100\" data-end=\"185\"\u003eBe Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick: The Valentine’s Day Gift They’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"187\" data-end=\"268\"\u003eRoses are red, violets are blue, here’s a chocolate dick… now choke on it, boo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"270\" data-end=\"595\"\u003eIf you’re tired of boring Valentine’s Day gifts, it’s time to level up from heart-shaped boxes and cheap teddy bears. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"392\" data-end=\"426\"\u003eBe Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e box is the ultimate blend of romance, roast, and ridiculousness. It’s sweet. It’s offensive. And it’s guaranteed to get a bigger reaction than any bouquet ever could.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"789\"\u003eWhether you’re playing the flirty lover, the sarcastic friend, or the petty ex with a wicked sense of humor, this solid chocolate penis is your ticket to an unforgettable Valentine’s moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"791\" data-end=\"849\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"791\" data-end=\"847\"\u003eOrder now. Ship anonymously. Watch the chaos unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"851\" data-end=\"854\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"856\" data-end=\"906\"\u003eWhy This Chocolate Dick Beats Flowers Any Day\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"1034\"\u003eThink about it, flowers die in a week. This chocolate dick? It gets devoured in minutes… and lives forever in their memory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1036\" data-end=\"1091\"\u003eIt’s more than just candy. It’s a statement. It says:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1143\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1094\" data-end=\"1143\"\u003e“I like you… but I also like messing with you.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1144\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1146\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003e“I’m not afraid to make Valentine’s Day weird.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1196\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1198\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e“Here’s a penis. You’re welcome.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1235\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003eMade from organic ingredients, this 4 to 5.5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce solid chocolate masterpiece is handcrafted to perfection. It’s delicious, inappropriate, and wrapped in a cute pink pixel-heart Valentine’s box, the perfect disguise for what’s inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1491\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1493\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Have No Regrets\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1544\" data-end=\"1808\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1546\" data-end=\"1808\"\u003e“My friend was shocked and pleased. Her mother, who was there when she opened it, is forever disappointed in my choices! Worth every penny.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1686\" data-end=\"1689\"\u003e“Excellent gift.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1708\" data-end=\"1711\"\u003e“Little did I know my friend would find this a choking hazard while he gobbled on it!!!! LOL”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1810\" data-end=\"1813\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1815\" data-end=\"1832\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1834\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1834\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1836\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003eValentine’s Day pranks that walk the line between love and chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1904\" data-end=\"1974\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1974\"\u003eRomantic gag gifts for partners who don’t take life too seriously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1975\" data-end=\"2060\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1977\" data-end=\"2060\"\u003eGalentine’s Day surprises for the girlfriends who deserve both candy and a laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2061\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2063\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003eBreakup revenge, sweet, petty, and oh-so satisfying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2119\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003eAnyone you love enough to offend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2161\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2163\" data-end=\"2199\"\u003eHow It Goes Down (Pun Intended)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2201\" data-end=\"2499\"\u003ePicture this: your Valentine gets a delivery. The packaging is cute, sweet, and oh-so Valentine’s. They’re expecting chocolates, maybe a cute card. They open the box… and boom. Solid chocolate penis. The room goes silent for a second, then there’s laughter, disbelief, and probably a few blushes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2501\" data-end=\"2635\"\u003eThey either eat it immediately or take a photo and post it online for the world to see. Either way, you’ve just won Valentine’s Day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2637\" data-end=\"2640\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2642\" data-end=\"2659\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2661\" data-end=\"2972\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2661\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2692\"\u003eOne solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e - 4 to 5.5 inches of sweet, edible art.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2735\" data-end=\"2800\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2737\" data-end=\"2800\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2737\" data-end=\"2760\"\u003eOrganic ingredients\u003c\/strong\u003e - because even jokes deserve quality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2801\" data-end=\"2888\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2888\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2833\"\u003eCute Valentine’s packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e - a pink pixel-heart box hiding the surprise inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2889\" data-end=\"2972\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2891\" data-end=\"2972\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2891\" data-end=\"2912\"\u003eDiscreet shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - they’ll never know it was you… unless you want them to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2974\" data-end=\"2977\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2979\" data-end=\"2997\"\u003eThe Game Plan\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2999\" data-end=\"3235\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2999\" data-end=\"3042\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3002\" data-end=\"3042\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3002\" data-end=\"3017\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e - commit to the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3043\" data-end=\"3101\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3101\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3066\"\u003eShip anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - plausible deniability is sexy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3102\" data-end=\"3163\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3105\" data-end=\"3163\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3105\" data-end=\"3130\"\u003eWait for the reaction\u003c\/strong\u003e - you’ll know when it happens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3164\" data-end=\"3235\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3167\" data-end=\"3235\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3167\" data-end=\"3190\"\u003eBask in your genius\u003c\/strong\u003e - because you just nailed Valentine’s Day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3237\" data-end=\"3240\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3242\" data-end=\"3303\"\u003eFinal Word: This is How You Make February 14th Legendary\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3305\" data-end=\"3566\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3309\" data-end=\"3343\"\u003eBe Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e is not your average Valentine’s gift. It’s a mix of sugar, sass, and pure comedic gold. Whether you’re looking to make your partner laugh, your friends scream, or your ex question all their life choices, this is the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3568\" data-end=\"3679\"\u003eSo forget the predictable flowers and candy hearts. This year, send them something they’ll actually remember.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3681\" data-end=\"3772\"\u003e💘 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3684\" data-end=\"3770\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and make Valentine’s Day awkward in the best way possible.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31781682184276,"sku":"BEMINECHOCODICK","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-a-d-the-chocolate-d-6572732.jpg?v=1772056670"},{"product_id":"eat-a-chocolate-dick-the-happy-birthday-box","title":"Eat a Chocolate Dick - The Happy Birthday Box","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"248\" data-end=\"301\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"250\" data-end=\"299\"\u003eEat a Chocolate Dick – The Happy Birthday Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"393\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"391\"\u003eBecause nothing says “Happy Birthday” like unwrapping a big, beautiful chocolate penis.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"395\" data-end=\"669\"\u003eForget boring birthday cards, overpriced flowers, and gift cards that will sit in a drawer for six months. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"506\" data-end=\"551\"\u003eEat a Chocolate Dick – Happy Birthday Box\u003c\/strong\u003e is the birthday gift that turns a normal celebration into a laugh-until-you-cry story that will get told for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"671\" data-end=\"974\"\u003eInside this innocent-looking Happy Birthday-themed box is a 4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce \u003cstrong data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"782\"\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from rich, gluten free Peruvian cacao. It’s perfectly molded, hilariously inappropriate, and ships 100 percent anonymously. They won’t know whether to laugh, blush, or take a big bite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"976\" data-end=\"1167\"\u003eIf you’re going to say “Happy Birthday,” you might as well say it with chocolate… and a giant dick. Click \u003cstrong data-start=\"1082\" data-end=\"1097\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now and make sure this year’s present is the one they never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1174\" data-end=\"1213\"\u003eWhy This Gift Is a Birthday Legend\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1237\"\u003eThe shock factor\u003c\/strong\u003e – They’ll never expect to unwrap a chocolate cock.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003eActually delicious\u003c\/strong\u003e – Made with high-quality Peruvian cacao that tastes as good as it looks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1391\" data-end=\"1481\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1393\" data-end=\"1481\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1393\" data-end=\"1417\"\u003eCompletely anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e – You stay innocent while they try to figure out who sent it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1482\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1528\"\u003ePerfect for adults who love a good laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e – Friends, siblings, partners, or that one cousin who’s a little too into crude humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1619\" data-end=\"1622\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1624\" data-end=\"1654\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1656\" data-end=\"1877\"\u003eIt’s their birthday. Everyone’s gathered around. They open the bright Happy Birthday box, expecting something sweet and wholesome. And technically, they get it. It’s sweet. It’s chocolate. It’s just… shaped like a dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1879\" data-end=\"2111\"\u003eLaughter breaks out. Phones come out. Instagram stories go up. And while everyone is laughing at the perfect detail on their new edible friend, you’re somewhere else, smug and satisfied, knowing you nailed the gift game this year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2113\" data-end=\"2116\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2118\" data-end=\"2165\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Pulled It Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2167\" data-end=\"2524\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2169\" data-end=\"2524\"\u003e“The recipient LOVED this gift. The level of detail was spot on.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2234\" data-end=\"2237\"\u003e“Sent this to my husband’s twin brother who enjoyed the prank and the chocolate dick.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2325\" data-end=\"2328\"\u003e“Sent to my sister for her birthday. A solid 2 weeks went by without a word being said. Finally asked her if she'd received anything weird in the mail recently. She ate it with peanut butter.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2526\" data-end=\"2529\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2531\" data-end=\"2555\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2944\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2653\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2559\" data-end=\"2653\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2559\" data-end=\"2614\"\u003eOne 4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2697\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2656\" data-end=\"2697\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2656\" data-end=\"2670\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday-themed gift box\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2698\" data-end=\"2763\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2700\" data-end=\"2763\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2700\" data-end=\"2721\"\u003eOptional add-ons:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday card and gift box presentation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2764\" data-end=\"2810\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2766\" data-end=\"2810\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2766\" data-end=\"2779\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships completely anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2811\" data-end=\"2944\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2813\" data-end=\"2944\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2813\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday gag gift, funny edible surprise, prank between friends, anonymous joke, adult party gift, breakup laugh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2946\" data-end=\"2949\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2951\" data-end=\"2986\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2988\" data-end=\"3210\"\u003eBecause birthdays are about creating moments, and nothing creates a moment like unwrapping a perfectly molded chocolate cock in front of your friends. It’s part gag gift, part gourmet treat, and all-around unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3212\" data-end=\"3508\"\u003eThey might laugh, they might blush, they might question your friendship. But at the end of the day, they’ll probably still eat it – because it’s damn good chocolate. And long after the last bite is gone, they’ll still be telling people about “that time I got a chocolate penis for my birthday.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3510\" data-end=\"3513\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3515\" data-end=\"3565\"\u003eBe the Best (or Worst) Gift Giver of the Year\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3567\" data-end=\"3737\"\u003eIf you want to give them something they’ll actually remember, this is it. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"3645\" data-end=\"3678\"\u003eHappy Birthday Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e is funny, delicious, and just the right amount of wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3739\" data-end=\"3939\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3745\" data-end=\"3760\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now. Ship it straight to their door.\u003cbr data-start=\"3797\" data-end=\"3800\"\u003eAnd enjoy knowing you just made their birthday 100 times better… or worse, depending on how they feel about eating dick-shaped chocolate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3739\" data-end=\"3939\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32160726941780,"sku":"HBD","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-chocolate-dick-the-happy-birthday-box-5677511.jpg?v=1755879092"},{"product_id":"eat-a-chocolate-dick-the-congrats-box","title":"Eat a Chocolate Dick - The Congrats Box","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"154\" data-end=\"197\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEat a Chocolate Dick - The Congrats Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"199\" data-end=\"293\"\u003eBecause nothing says “congratulations” quite like a \u003cstrong data-start=\"251\" data-end=\"276\"\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e in a gift box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"295\" data-end=\"630\"\u003eThis isn’t flowers. This isn’t a card. This is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"344\" data-end=\"379\"\u003egluten free Peruvian cacao cock\u003c\/strong\u003e that screams “I’m proud of you” in the most inappropriate, unforgettable way possible. Whether they got a new job, finished school, or finally broke up with that human dumpster fire they were dating, this is how you celebrate with maximum laughter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"632\" data-end=\"843\"\u003eYou could give them champagne. You could give them a watch. But you’re better than that. You’re here to give them a \u003cstrong data-start=\"748\" data-end=\"792\"\u003e4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce chocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e that will live rent-free in their brain forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"845\" data-end=\"943\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"845\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now and deliver the only “Congrats” they’ll still be laughing about years later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"945\" data-end=\"948\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"950\" data-end=\"989\"\u003eWhy This Gift Hits Hard Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"991\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"991\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"993\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"993\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003eRidiculously funny\u003c\/strong\u003e - perfect balance of shock value and sweetness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1065\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1067\" data-end=\"1089\"\u003eActually delicious\u003c\/strong\u003e - made from gluten free Peruvian cacao\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1131\" data-end=\"1218\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1218\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1159\"\u003eThemed for celebration\u003c\/strong\u003e - comes in a “Congrats” gift box so it’s classy… kind of\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1219\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1243\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - you get all the laughs, none of the blame\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1294\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1296\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1328\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003ePicture this. Your buddy gets a small package. They’re expecting maybe a mug, a tie, or a boring fruit basket. They open it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1456\" data-end=\"1517\"\u003eBam. A chocolate penis. Staring back at them. Mocking them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1519\" data-end=\"1800\"\u003eThey burst out laughing. They take pictures. They send them to the group chat. They maybe even take a \u003cem data-start=\"1621\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003every\u003c\/em\u003e questionable selfie with it. You’ve just created a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1679\" data-end=\"1689\"\u003emoment\u003c\/strong\u003e. One that’s going to get retold at every party, family gathering, and drunken night out for the next decade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1802\" data-end=\"1909\"\u003eAnd you? You’re just sitting there, sipping coffee, knowing you’ve just won the gift-giving game forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1911\" data-end=\"1914\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1916\" data-end=\"1958\"\u003eReal Reviews From Legends Who Sent It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1960\" data-end=\"2239\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1960\" data-end=\"2089\"\u003e\"Sent a big ol chocolate dick to my buddy in Florida, got sent pics of my pal deep throating that bad boy, totally worth it.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2089\" data-end=\"2092\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2092\" data-end=\"2193\"\u003e\"Amazing 🤩 It was for my co worker’s last day at work and she loved it! Couldn’t stop laughing.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2193\" data-end=\"2196\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2196\" data-end=\"2237\"\u003e\"Recipient loved it. Very surprised.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2241\" data-end=\"2244\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2270\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2272\" data-end=\"2617\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2272\" data-end=\"2327\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2274\" data-end=\"2327\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2274\" data-end=\"2325\"\u003e4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2328\" data-end=\"2409\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2330\" data-end=\"2409\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2330\" data-end=\"2370\"\u003eMade from gluten free Peruvian cacao\u003c\/strong\u003e - rich, smooth, and dangerously good\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2410\" data-end=\"2491\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2412\" data-end=\"2491\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2412\" data-end=\"2440\"\u003eCongrats-themed gift box\u003c\/strong\u003e that makes it \u003cem data-start=\"2455\" data-end=\"2461\"\u003elook\u003c\/em\u003e like you’re being wholesome\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2492\" data-end=\"2563\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2494\" data-end=\"2563\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2494\" data-end=\"2527\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - no name, no trace, just mystery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2564\" data-end=\"2617\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2566\" data-end=\"2617\"\u003eA perfect mix of \u003cstrong data-start=\"2583\" data-end=\"2615\"\u003eprank and actual edible gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2619\" data-end=\"2622\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2624\" data-end=\"2659\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2661\" data-end=\"2854\"\u003eBecause it’s \u003cstrong data-start=\"2674\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003epersonal and petty at the same time\u003c\/strong\u003e. Sure, they’ll laugh. But they’ll also actually eat it. And that’s the beauty of it - it’s a hilarious joke \u003cem data-start=\"2822\" data-end=\"2827\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e a genuinely tasty treat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2856\" data-end=\"3044\"\u003eThis is a gift that gets a reaction. It’s not going to sit in a drawer. It’s going to be the center of attention. It’s going to make their day better, funnier, and slightly more awkward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3049\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3051\" data-end=\"3107\"\u003eBe the Reason They’ll Never Forget This Celebration\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3109\" data-end=\"3221\"\u003eSkip the boring congratulations card. Skip the predictable bottle of wine. Go big. Go bold. Go chocolate dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3223\" data-end=\"3371\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3229\" data-end=\"3244\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e. Send it. Sit back.And enjoy knowing you just gave them the most inappropriate, perfectly-timed “Congrats” of their life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3223\" data-end=\"3371\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32160734249044,"sku":"CNGRTS","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-chocolate-dick-the-congrats-box-4518083.jpg?v=1755879092"},{"product_id":"insulation-pack","title":"Ice and Insulation Pack","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt's hot out. We don't want your dicks to melt. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShip them with an ice pack in an insulated mailer to keep them from turning into piles of vaguely dick shaped goo (unless you're into that kind of thing).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOrder over $40 worth of chocolate and gummies and the ice pack and insulated mailer is free!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32484839227476,"sku":"ICEPACK","price":7.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/ice-and-insulation-pack-9874138.webp?v=1755879082"},{"product_id":"same-dick-forever-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"Same Dick Forever Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"127\"\u003eTrue Love Means Settling - And Laughing About It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"129\" data-end=\"558\"\u003eThere comes a day in every relationship when you stop chasing butterflies and start chasing your partner’s farts out of the sheets. And that, my friend, is when you know you’ve found \u003cem data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"321\"\u003ethe one\u003c\/em\u003e. The one dick. The same dick. \u003cstrong data-start=\"352\" data-end=\"364\"\u003eForever.\u003c\/strong\u003e So celebrate that oddly comforting, mildly frustrating, and occasionally disappointing reality with the \u003cstrong data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"495\"\u003eSame Dick Forever Card\u003c\/strong\u003e - a brutally honest love letter to your eternal penis partner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003eBuy now if you're brave enough to admit monogamy is just loving the same genitals on loop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"659\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"661\" data-end=\"713\"\u003eBecause Flowers Die, But Dick Jokes Live Forever\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"1032\"\u003eLet’s skip the sappy cards that pretend you still text each other “good morning” unironically. You’ve been through it. The fights, the makeup sex, the awkward family holidays, and that one time you both got food poisoning and still high-fived through it. You’re locked in. And not just emotionally - but anatomically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"1038\" data-end=\"1080\"\u003eSame Dick Forever Valentine’s Day Card\u003c\/strong\u003e says what Hallmark never will. It’s the only Valentine’s Day card that dares to honor the penis that’s been disappointing you since the first drunken hookup. And honestly? That kind of consistency deserves a standing ovation. Or at least a sarcastic applause and this card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1361\" data-end=\"1411\"\u003eA Love Story Told in One Blunt, Hilarious Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1728\"\u003eFlashback: You met. You flirted. You banged. You texted. You banged again. Eventually, you started leaving toothbrushes at each other’s place. Then came the “What are we?” talk, the “Let’s move in” moment, and the eventual horror realization that you’ve been staring at the same damn peen since Obama was in office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1730\" data-end=\"1865\"\u003eBut here you are. Still together. Still tolerating each other. Still making dick jokes to hide how deeply you actually love each other.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1867\" data-end=\"1885\"\u003eThis card gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1887\" data-end=\"1890\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1892\" data-end=\"1947\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Getting, You Brave Romantic, You\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"1982\"\u003eFolded Valentine’s Day card\u003c\/strong\u003e featuring the glorious phrase “Same Dick Forever” - just in case they forgot what they signed up for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2106\"\u003eOptional add-ons\u003c\/strong\u003e like a bag of dicks, because why stop at a card when you can double down on dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - so if you're secretly roasting a situationship, your secret’s safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2294\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003ePrinted on thick, quality cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e - unlike that limp noodle you’re roasting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2398\"\u003eBlank interior\u003c\/strong\u003e - for your own crude message, heartfelt apology, or explicit drawing of what “forever dick” looks like\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2503\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2508\" data-end=\"2576\"\u003ePerfect For These Deliciously Petty, Painfully Relatable Moments\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2607\"\u003eValentine’s Day sarcasm\u003c\/strong\u003e - Let Cupid choke on this card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2639\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2661\"\u003eAnniversary gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - Celebrate another 365 days of that familiar shaft\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2714\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2742\"\u003eFunny gift for couples\u003c\/strong\u003e - Because therapy’s expensive and laughter’s free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2793\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2821\"\u003eRelationship milestone\u003c\/strong\u003e - Make your 5-year mark with a card that screams “you’re stuck now”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2890\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2914\"\u003ePetty revenge gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - For the one you love and lowkey hate at the same time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2972\" data-end=\"2975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2977\" data-end=\"3023\"\u003eMake ‘Em Laugh, Cringe, and Probably Blush\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eThis isn’t just a card. It’s a commitment wrapped in sarcasm, dipped in honesty, and served with a side of “Yep... this is our life now.” Whether you’re the kind of couple that has matching socks or the kind that argues over whose turn it is to buy toilet paper, this card is your anthem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3492\"\u003eSo if your idea of romance involves brutally honest jokes, relentless sarcasm, and a complete lack of emotional boundaries - \u003cstrong data-start=\"3440\" data-end=\"3459\"\u003econgratulations\u003c\/strong\u003e. You’ve found your perfect card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3494\" data-end=\"3497\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3499\" data-end=\"3577\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” Before Your Partner Realizes They Could’ve Done Better\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003eWhy wait? Show them you care \u003cem data-start=\"3608\" data-end=\"3616\"\u003eenough\u003c\/em\u003e to get them a card. But not so much that it doesn’t come with a solid dick roast. \u003cstrong data-start=\"3699\" data-end=\"3720\"\u003eSame Dick Forever\u003c\/strong\u003e - because at this point, what choice do you really have?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":33029492015188,"sku":"","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":33029492080724,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":33029492146260,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":33029492179028,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/same-dick-forever-card-2088547.jpg?v=1755878873"},{"product_id":"i-love-your-big-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"I Love You....And Your Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"318\" data-end=\"365\"\u003eSay \"I Love You\" - But Also, I Love Your Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"434\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"434\"\u003eBecause let’s be honest - you’re not just here for the cuddles.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"436\" data-end=\"670\"\u003eValentine’s Day is all hearts, flowers, and sappy cards that say things like “forever yours” or “you complete me.” That’s sweet and all, but what about the real MVP in the relationship? The one that \u003cem data-start=\"635\" data-end=\"645\"\u003eactually\u003c\/em\u003e shows up when it counts?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"672\" data-end=\"705\"\u003eWe’re talkin’ about his \u003cstrong data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"704\"\u003edick\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003eIf you’re the kind of person who loves to laugh, doesn’t do boring romance, and wants to say “I love you” with a side of “I want your penis in and around me,” this is your card. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"951\"\u003e\"I Love You...And Your Dick\" Valentine's Day Greeting Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is the brutally honest, hilarious, and slightly disturbing way to say exactly what you're thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1125\"\u003eGrab one now and ruin Hallmark’s day with one glorious pop-up penis.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1130\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1132\" data-end=\"1165\"\u003eA Card That’s Hard - Literally\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1167\" data-end=\"1331\"\u003eThis ain’t your average grocery store greeting. It’s a full-blown \u003cstrong data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1261\"\u003eValentine’s Day gag gift\u003c\/strong\u003e with a surprise that pops harder than a teenager home alone with HBO.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1333\" data-end=\"1444\"\u003eHere’s the setup: Outside, it’s classy-ish. Simple. “I Love You...And Your Dick.” Kinda sweet. Almost innocent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1446\" data-end=\"1643\"\u003eThen - BAM - you open it, and out comes a glorious 3D penis with “EAT A DICK” printed inside. Because nothing says \u003cem data-start=\"1561\" data-end=\"1596\"\u003eI care deeply about your genitals\u003c\/em\u003e like sending a paper schlong through the mail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1645\" data-end=\"1648\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1650\" data-end=\"1672\"\u003eThis Card Is For...\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1674\" data-end=\"1915\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1674\" data-end=\"1722\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1676\" data-end=\"1722\"\u003eCouples who love to laugh and hate being basic\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1723\" data-end=\"1776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1725\" data-end=\"1776\"\u003eBold-as-hell girlfriends and wives with zero filter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1777\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1779\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003eHusbands and boyfriends who actually have a sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1838\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003eHorny, sarcastic weirdos who can’t be tamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1884\" data-end=\"1915\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1886\" data-end=\"1915\"\u003eYou. You filthy romantic, you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1917\" data-end=\"2145\"\u003eThis isn’t just a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1935\" data-end=\"1962\"\u003efunny romantic surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e, it’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1971\" data-end=\"2000\"\u003enovelty relationship card\u003c\/strong\u003e that says what every hot-blooded adult is \u003cem data-start=\"2043\" data-end=\"2051\"\u003ereally\u003c\/em\u003e thinking on Valentine’s Day. Love? Sure. Loyalty? Absolutely. But also... \u003cstrong data-start=\"2126\" data-end=\"2144\"\u003egive me that D\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2147\" data-end=\"2150\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2152\" data-end=\"2174\"\u003eInside the Package:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2176\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2176\" data-end=\"2255\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2178\" data-end=\"2255\"\u003eOne folded \u003cstrong data-start=\"2189\" data-end=\"2213\"\u003eValentine’s Day card\u003c\/strong\u003e printed with “I Love You...And Your Dick”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2256\" data-end=\"2320\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2258\" data-end=\"2320\"\u003eInside: a fully erect 3D pop-up penis and “EAT A DICK” message\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2321\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2323\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003ePremium cardstock, because your penis deserves quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2433\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2433\"\u003eWhite envelope included for discreet mailing (or not)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2434\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2436\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously, so feel free to be as reckless as you want\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2511\" data-end=\"2578\"\u003eWant to leave them shocked, laughing, and a little turned on? Done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2583\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2585\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003eWhat Real Freaks Are Saying:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2618\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2620\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e“Cute card for my husband.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2647\" data-end=\"2650\"\u003e“I bought this for my boyfriend for his birthday. Look on his face was priceless!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2736\" data-end=\"2783\"\u003eTranslation: it worked. And so will it for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2785\" data-end=\"2788\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2790\" data-end=\"2817\"\u003eWhy You Should Send This\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2819\" data-end=\"2962\"\u003eBecause you’re not basic. You’re not boring. And you’re not writing “Roses are red, violets are blue” unless it ends with something truly foul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2964\" data-end=\"3092\"\u003eYou’re bold. You’re funny. You’re the kind of person who buys a card that features a penis that literally springs out to say hi.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3094\" data-end=\"3392\"\u003eThis isn’t just a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3112\" data-end=\"3136\"\u003echeeky couple’s joke\u003c\/strong\u003e - it’s a f***ing experience. The kind of card that gets shown to friends, kept in drawers, and laughed about for years. It’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3264\" data-end=\"3293\"\u003efunny adult birthday card\u003c\/strong\u003e, a \u003cstrong data-start=\"3297\" data-end=\"3322\"\u003esexy Valentine’s card\u003c\/strong\u003e, a flirty nuke of love and horniness dropped right on their doorstep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3394\" data-end=\"3397\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3399\" data-end=\"3433\"\u003eLet’s Get Balls Deep in Romance\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3435\" data-end=\"3646\"\u003eOrder the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3445\" data-end=\"3491\"\u003e\"I Love You...And Your Dick\" greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e now and become the romantic hero no one saw coming. We’ll ship it anonymously so you can stay mysterious, but your message? Loud, proud, and full of dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3648\" data-end=\"3769\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3648\" data-end=\"3769\"\u003eClick add to cart. Show them you care - about their dick, their soul, and their ability to laugh with their pants on.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3648\" data-end=\"3769\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"1 Eat a Dick Greeting Card \/ ----","offer_id":33032373502036,"sku":"","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/i-love-youand-your-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card-3682429.jpg?v=1755878873"},{"product_id":"happy-valentines-day-big-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"Happy Valentine's Day Big Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"57\" data-end=\"132\"\u003eRoses are red, violets are fine - here’s a big pop-up dick, now be mine\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"134\" data-end=\"480\"\u003eTired of giving the same weak-ass Valentine’s Day card that looks like it was farted out by a Hallmark factory worker on their lunch break? Good. We’ve got something better. Way better. Introducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"336\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eHappy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card\u003c\/strong\u003e - the only card that says “I love you” by smacking your partner in the face with a literal pop-up penis.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"482\" data-end=\"722\"\u003eThat’s right. You open the card and - \u003cem data-start=\"520\" data-end=\"526\"\u003eBOOM\u003c\/em\u003e - there it is. A 3D dick. Unapologetic. Proud. Pointing directly at whoever dared to open it. It’s bold, it’s brilliant, and it’s basically Cupid if he ditched the arrows and just whipped it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"727\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"807\"\u003eWhy Just Say “I Love You” When You Can \u003cem data-start=\"772\" data-end=\"778\"\u003eShow\u003c\/em\u003e It With a Card Full of Dick?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"809\" data-end=\"1114\"\u003eListen, Valentine’s Day is already one of those holidays you either love, hate, or fake your way through. Whether you’re madly in love, chronically single, or just vibing through situationships - \u003cstrong data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003ethis card fits.\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s the universal language of chaos and affection all rolled into one perfect penis pop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1116\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eAnd let’s be real - your partner doesn’t want another teddy bear or coupon for \"one free back rub.\" They want a card that screams, \u003cem data-start=\"1247\" data-end=\"1314\"\u003e\"I care about you enough to prank you with a cardboard erection.\"\u003c\/em\u003e That’s love. That’s romance. That’s the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1395\"\u003eHappy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1419\"\u003ePicture This…\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1421\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003eYou hand them the envelope. They look at you all gooey-eyed. They’re expecting something heartfelt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1522\" data-end=\"1616\"\u003eThen they open it. And the dick pops up like it’s been waiting all year for this exact moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1618\" data-end=\"1715\"\u003eThey gasp. They laugh. Maybe they snort wine out of their nose. You win Valentine’s Day. Forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1717\" data-end=\"1720\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1722\" data-end=\"1768\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting (Besides Eternal Love)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1770\" data-end=\"2107\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1770\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1772\" data-end=\"1841\"\u003eA folded Valentine’s Day card that \u003cstrong data-start=\"1807\" data-end=\"1839\"\u003eexplodes with 3D dick energy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1842\" data-end=\"1934\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1844\" data-end=\"1934\"\u003ePrinted on \u003cstrong data-start=\"1855\" data-end=\"1881\"\u003ehigh-quality cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e that screams “this isn’t your grandma’s love note”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1935\" data-end=\"2011\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"2011\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"1965\"\u003eFully anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e, because some things are better untraceable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2012\" data-end=\"2081\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2014\" data-end=\"2081\"\u003eComes in a classic envelope, just innocent enough to lure them in\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2082\" data-end=\"2107\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2107\"\u003eShips fast, hits harder\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2109\" data-end=\"2112\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2114\" data-end=\"2130\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2132\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2132\" data-end=\"2186\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2134\" data-end=\"2186\"\u003eYour partner with a dirty mind and zero boundaries\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2187\" data-end=\"2242\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2189\" data-end=\"2242\"\u003eYour ex (if you're still close and weird like that)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2243\" data-end=\"2313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2245\" data-end=\"2313\"\u003eAnyone whose idea of romance involves laughter and genital origami\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2314\" data-end=\"2369\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2316\" data-end=\"2369\"\u003eThat friend who treats Valentine’s Day like a sport\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2370\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2372\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003eYourself, because self-love is real and dicks are funny\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2429\" data-end=\"2432\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2434\" data-end=\"2473\"\u003eA Card That’s Got Balls (Literally)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2475\" data-end=\"2661\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"2479\" data-end=\"2518\"\u003eHappy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card\u003c\/strong\u003e is not for the weak. This thing is for people who want to make a \u003cem data-start=\"2584\" data-end=\"2595\"\u003estatement\u003c\/em\u003e. Who aren’t afraid to show their love with a towering paper peen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eAnd best of all? It’s totally safe for work - \u003cem data-start=\"2709\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eif your workplace is a strip club or a pirate ship.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2764\" data-end=\"2993\"\u003eThere’s a reason “valentines day dick” is one of the most searched terms on our site. People are out here looking for cards with a sense of humor and a healthy dose of shock value. And this one delivers - in every throbbing inch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2995\" data-end=\"2998\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3000\" data-end=\"3051\"\u003eSo... Wanna Make Someone’s Valentine’s Day Pop?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3053\" data-end=\"3153\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3059\" data-end=\"3074\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e and send a dick that truly comes from the heart. Or from your loins. Whatever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3155\" data-end=\"3219\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3155\" data-end=\"3170\"\u003eGet it now.\u003c\/strong\u003e Before the mail carrier starts asking questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"1 Eat a Dick Greeting Card \/ ----","offer_id":33032374190164,"sku":"","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/happy-valentines-day-big-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card-8002311.jpg?v=1755878873"},{"product_id":"milfs-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card","title":"MILF's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"44\" data-end=\"104\"\u003eIt’s Almost MILF Day... Time to Let That Savage Side Out\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"106\" data-end=\"462\"\u003eNothing says “I appreciate you, Mom” like a pop-up penis screaming \u003cstrong data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"187\"\u003eEAT A DICK\u003c\/strong\u003e when she opens her heartfelt Mother’s Day card. Okay, maybe not \u003cem data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"258\"\u003eyour\u003c\/em\u003e mom - unless she’s an absolute legend. But if you’ve got a MILF in your life who can take a joke (or an ex who definitely can’t), this is your golden ticket to chaos, laughter, and uncomfortable silence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"705\"\u003eThis is not your average “Happy Mother’s Day” card. It’s a Trojan Horse with a dick inside - literally. We call it the \u003cstrong data-start=\"583\" data-end=\"620\"\u003eMILF's Day Eat a Dick Pop Up Card\u003c\/strong\u003e, and it’s here to shock, offend, and make somebody cackle so hard they pee a little.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"707\" data-end=\"710\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"712\" data-end=\"778\"\u003eWhy This MILF Day Card Slaps Harder Than Your Childhood Trauma\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"1196\"\u003eLook, not all moms are precious angels baking cookies and knitting sweaters. Some are MILFs. Some are spicy, sarcastic, and would rather get a bottle of tequila and a giggle-worthy \u003cstrong data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"974\"\u003emilf card\u003c\/strong\u003e than another lame scented candle. And some of your friends probably \u003cem data-start=\"1043\" data-end=\"1060\"\u003ecall themselves\u003c\/em\u003e MILFs because it makes them feel alive. Whatever the case, this card delivers two things: unexpected laughs and a giant cardboard dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1198\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003eIt’s the perfect surprise for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1382\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003eMILFs with a wild side\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1254\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1256\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003eFriends who need to be humbled\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1287\" data-end=\"1333\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1289\" data-end=\"1333\"\u003eExes who deserve confusion more than closure\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1334\" data-end=\"1382\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1336\" data-end=\"1382\"\u003eAnyone who thinks Mother’s Day needs more dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1384\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1389\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003eDick Pop - The Greeting Card Upgrade Nobody Asked For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1448\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003eLet’s be real: greeting cards are boring. They say things like “Wishing you joy and flowers.” You know what’s better than flowers? A \u003cstrong data-start=\"1581\" data-end=\"1596\"\u003edick pop up\u003c\/strong\u003e right in the face. That’s why we designed this masterpiece.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1658\" data-end=\"1922\"\u003eImagine this: someone’s holding what looks like a sweet \u003cstrong data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1734\"\u003ehappy MILF’s day\u003c\/strong\u003e card. They’re smiling. Maybe even touched. Then they open it - and BOOM - \u003cstrong data-start=\"1809\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003eJust Kidding! Eat a Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e with a veiny little cardboard surprise that springs up like a pervy jack-in-the-box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1924\" data-end=\"2030\"\u003eSilent pause. Jaw drop. Confused laughter. Uncontrollable giggling. Disowned? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2032\" data-end=\"2035\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2037\" data-end=\"2076\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Actually Getting\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2737\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2199\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2080\" data-end=\"2199\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2080\" data-end=\"2110\"\u003eDeceptively Sweet Exterior\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2110\" data-end=\"2113\"\u003eFront reads “Happy Mother’s Day.” Classic. Safe. Grandma-approved... until it’s not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2201\" data-end=\"2318\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2318\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2230\"\u003eExplosive Inside Energy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2233\"\u003eA full-blown \u003cstrong data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2263\"\u003edick popout\u003c\/strong\u003e that says “Just Kidding! Eat a Dick.” Surprise, b*tch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2320\" data-end=\"2454\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2454\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2362\"\u003ePremium Materials, Trashy Intentions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2362\" data-end=\"2365\"\u003e14 pt double-sided cardstock. Pop-up engineering that’s so good, NASA could’ve made it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2456\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2458\" data-end=\"2570\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2458\" data-end=\"2488\"\u003eTotally Anonymous Shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2491\"\u003eNo names. No shame. Just pure, untraceable genius. Your hands are clean. Ish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2572\" data-end=\"2737\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2574\" data-end=\"2737\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2574\" data-end=\"2611\"\u003ePerfect for the MILF in Your Life\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2614\"\u003eWhether you’re celebrating, trolling, or just being a degenerate friend - this is the \u003cstrong data-start=\"2702\" data-end=\"2719\"\u003emilf day card\u003c\/strong\u003e that says it all.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2739\" data-end=\"2742\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2744\" data-end=\"2780\"\u003eSo... You Gonna Send It or What?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2782\" data-end=\"3107\"\u003eIf you’ve read this far, you’re exactly the type of beautiful degenerate who should be sending this \u003cstrong data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2901\"\u003eHappy MILFs Day\u003c\/strong\u003e card. It’s not just funny - it’s legendary. And with keywords like \u003cstrong data-start=\"2969\" data-end=\"2982\"\u003emilfs day\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong data-start=\"2984\" data-end=\"2995\"\u003edickpop\u003c\/strong\u003e, and \u003cstrong data-start=\"3001\" data-end=\"3022\"\u003emother's day dick\u003c\/strong\u003e baked right into the experience, you know you’re making the internet a better place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3109\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003eSo click that button. Send the card. Make someone question every decision they’ve made.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3278\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3229\"\u003eBecause MILFs deserve dick.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3229\" data-end=\"3232\"\u003eJust... maybe not the one they were expecting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3278\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"----","offer_id":39327780569172,"sku":"","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter!","offer_id":39327780634708,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Dick Confetti!","offer_id":39327780700244,"sku":"","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add a Bag of Dicks!","offer_id":39327780733012,"sku":"","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/milfs-day-eat-a-dick-pop-up-card-8529608.jpg?v=1755878874"},{"product_id":"christmas-bag-of-d-cks-funny-gummies","title":"Christmas Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe holiday spirit just got a whole lot dirtier.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eForget cookies, carols, and cinnamon-scented candles. The real way to spread Christmas cheer is to send someone a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and watch their wholesome holiday spirit explode into shock, laughter, and maybe a little blushing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not your typical stocking stuffer. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003elimited edition Christmas-themed bag\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e packed with 10 deliciously chewy, perfectly inappropriate gummy dicks in festive red and green. Five red, five green, each 2.5 inches long, each screaming “Merry Dickmas” in the most edible way possible.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd yes, they actually taste amazing. So while your gift might start as a crude joke, it will probably end with someone proudly munching on a cherry or green apple gummy penis in front of the Christmas tree.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf that mental image alone doesn’t make you smash the Add to Cart button, you might be dead inside.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Should Absolutely Send a Christmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the ultimate Christmas gag gift\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – way funnier than another “World’s Best Dad” mug.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the perfect stocking stuffer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – imagine your aunt pulling out a bag of gummy dicks in front of the whole family.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s versatile\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – works for white elephant, secret Santa, family pranks, or your “holiday party” that got out of hand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt ships 100% anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – no one will know it was you unless you crack and spill the beans.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s Christmas morning. Someone tears open a festive little package. They expect candy canes, maybe a chocolate Santa. Instead, they’re holding a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Red. Green. Proudly 2.5 inches each.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLaughter erupts. Grandma nearly chokes on her coffee. Your cousin pulls out their phone to film the chaos. And somewhere, you’re sitting back, sipping eggnog, and grinning like the Grinch after stealing all the gifts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not just candy. This is an edible punchline.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from Real Degenerates\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“I had just received this! I LOVE it. I go around all time telling people eat a bag of dicks.. lol so much so when I got them my 14 year old went ‘but that’s your joke’ lol I still haven’t figured out who sent them but they need a high five and some praise!! Thank you for making such a amazing gift!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Great white elephant gift.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “My friend blushed so much! It was perfect. She said the gummy candy tasted really good.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCandy Count:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 10 gummies - 5 red, 5 green\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 2.5 inches each (size matters)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlavors:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Cherry and green apple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Limited edition Christmas-themed bag\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOrder Options:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Single, double em, three, four, five, six for the whole family, eight, ten for grandma too, fifteen for all the cousins, twenty for when you’re feeling generous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous for maximum mischief\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Works Every Single Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause Christmas is already a circus of weird traditions, awkward family moments, and questionable gifts. A \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e slides right into the mix perfectly. It’s shocking, hilarious, and actually edible.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven the people who pretend to be offended will sneak one when no one’s looking. And unlike boring candy canes, no one will forget who sent it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDo It. You Know You Want To.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, there’s a stocking hanging somewhere that desperately needs a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e inside it. It could be your brother’s. Your best friend’s. Your white elephant victim’s.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-2b64ee3c-7fff-5570-2d50-d1a4a83b8b26\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo click Add to Cart.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Send a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e And make sure this holiday season is one they’ll never forget.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41614441250900,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41614441283668,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Three","offer_id":41614441316436,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-3","price":41.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Five - for the whole family","offer_id":41614441381972,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-5","price":64.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Ten - Grandma gets one too","offer_id":41614441480276,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Fifteen - All the Cousins","offer_id":41614441513044,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-15","price":149.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Twenty - We're getting the whole office","offer_id":41614441545812,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-20","price":179.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/christmas-bag-of-dicks-2051179.png?v=1770741836"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-halloween-bomb-trick-or-treat","title":"Spring Loaded Halloween Bomb! Trick or Treat","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"229\" data-end=\"278\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpring Loaded Halloween Bomb! Trick or Treat\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"347\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"345\"\u003eThis Halloween, skip the candy and blow their freaking minds.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"349\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eForget the cheap plastic spider rings, the lame candy corn, and the “Boo!” signs that no one cares about. If you really want to make someone scream this spooky season, you send them a \u003cstrong data-start=\"533\" data-end=\"565\"\u003eSpring Loaded Halloween Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e. One second, they’re thinking they’re about to unwrap a cute Halloween surprise. The next, they’re getting blasted in the face with an eruption of Halloween confetti. And because we know you’re a devious little goblin, you can upgrade that chaos with dick confetti, jizz confetti, or glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"862\" data-end=\"1132\"\u003eThis isn’t your standard party favor. This is a weaponized “Trick” in a holiday built on jump scares and sugar highs. And here’s the best part - it ships 100 percent anonymously. They’ll have no idea you sent it… unless you want to stand up and claim your prank crown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1134\" data-end=\"1198\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1134\" data-end=\"1196\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and make your Halloween legendary.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1200\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1205\" data-end=\"1251\"\u003eWhy This is the Ultimate Halloween Prank\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1252\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003eAnyone can hand out candy. Anyone can hang cobwebs on their porch. But only the bold send an explosive confetti bomb straight to someone’s unsuspecting hands. It’s not just a prank - it’s a Halloween event that unfolds in 3 seconds:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1635\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1491\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003eThey open the tube, probably thinking it’s candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1543\" data-end=\"1589\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1546\" data-end=\"1589\"\u003eThe spring goes off like a party grenade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"1635\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1593\" data-end=\"1635\"\u003eHalloween-shaped chaos flies everywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1637\" data-end=\"1769\"\u003eAnd if you’ve gone for the dick or jizz confetti add-ons, let’s just say this is a “trick” they won’t be forgetting any time soon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1771\" data-end=\"1774\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1776\" data-end=\"1798\"\u003eHow It Goes Down\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1799\" data-end=\"2205\"\u003eImagine your friend gets a package in the mail. It’s a slim incense-style tube, totally harmless looking. Maybe they’re at home, maybe they’re at a Halloween party. They pop it open… \u003cstrong data-start=\"1982\" data-end=\"1990\"\u003eBAM!\u003c\/strong\u003e Confetti everywhere. Ghosts. Pumpkins. Maybe some tiny paper dicks flying through the air if you really went for it. People scream. People laugh. Someone’s still picking glitter out of their hair two weeks later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2207\" data-end=\"2269\"\u003eThat’s not just a prank - that’s an instant Halloween story.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2271\" data-end=\"2274\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2276\" data-end=\"2297\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2298\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2298\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2300\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2300\" data-end=\"2311\"\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e Standard incense-style tube rigged with a spring-loaded confetti blast\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2385\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2387\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2387\" data-end=\"2405\"\u003eConfetti Type:\u003c\/strong\u003e Halloween-themed confetti included, with optional dick confetti, jizz confetti, or glitter add-ons\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2507\" data-end=\"2554\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2509\" data-end=\"2554\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2509\" data-end=\"2522\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2646\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2646\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2571\"\u003eOccasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Halloween pranks, revenge surprises, party gags, spooky anonymous tricks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2647\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2718\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2660\"\u003eImpact:\u003c\/strong\u003e Big enough blast to cover a small room in festive chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2720\" data-end=\"2723\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2725\" data-end=\"2749\"\u003eWhy People Love It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2750\" data-end=\"3112\"\u003eIt’s quick. It’s shocking. It’s ridiculously funny. And it’s not the kind of Halloween surprise you forget. Even the most boring, pumpkin-spice-basic recipient will suddenly have the most interesting thing to talk about for weeks. It’s also completely harmless - unless you count the emotional trauma of finding dick confetti on your kitchen floor in December.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3114\" data-end=\"3273\"\u003eThe Spring Loaded Halloween Bomb is basically Halloween’s answer to the glitter bomb Christmas card - only louder, messier, and way more seasonally on point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3275\" data-end=\"3278\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3280\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eHow to Make it Extra Savage\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3314\" data-end=\"3688\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3314\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3316\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3316\" data-end=\"3341\"\u003eUpgrade the Confetti:\u003c\/strong\u003e Add dick or jizz confetti for that perfect “WTF” factor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3401\" data-end=\"3478\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3403\" data-end=\"3478\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3403\" data-end=\"3427\"\u003eSend it Anonymously:\u003c\/strong\u003e Keep them guessing and watch the paranoia build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3479\" data-end=\"3575\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3481\" data-end=\"3575\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3481\" data-end=\"3503\"\u003eTime the Delivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Get it there right before a party so it goes off in front of a crowd.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3576\" data-end=\"3688\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3578\" data-end=\"3688\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3578\" data-end=\"3608\"\u003ePair it with Another Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e Follow it up with an Eat a Bag of Dicks package for the ultimate prank combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3690\" data-end=\"3693\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3695\" data-end=\"3881\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3695\" data-end=\"3711\"\u003eBottom line:\u003c\/strong\u003e this is the Halloween prank that will have them laughing, cursing, and vacuuming for days. It’s fast, it’s sneaky, and it’s way more memorable than fun-sized Snickers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3883\" data-end=\"3987\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3883\" data-end=\"3985\"\u003eSo stop being boring. Click “Add to Cart” and give someone a Halloween they’ll never recover from.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3883\" data-end=\"3987\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Halloween","offer_id":41615678734420,"sku":"HALLOWEENBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Halloween Confetti","offer_id":41615678767188,"sku":"DOUBLEHALLOWEENBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dicks \u0026 Halloween Confetti","offer_id":41615678799956,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix Halloween and Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41615678865492,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Trick or Treat combo Halloween \u0026 Dicks \u0026 Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41615678898260,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDDICKANDJIZZABOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix Halloween Confetti \u0026 Regular Glitter","offer_id":41615678832724,"sku":"HALLOWEENANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/spring-loaded-halloween-bomb-trick-or-treat-6176086.jpg?v=1755878847"},{"product_id":"all-the-dicks-bundle-gummy-dicks-chocolate-dick-and-dick-glitter-bomb","title":"All The Dicks Bundle (Gummy Dicks, Chocolate Dick, and Dick Glitter Bomb)","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"155\" data-end=\"206\"\u003eThe Ultimate Triple Threat of Dick-Based Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"208\" data-end=\"473\"\u003eWhy settle for one prank when you can hit them with \u003cstrong data-start=\"260\" data-end=\"277\"\u003eall the dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e at once?\u003cbr data-start=\"286\" data-end=\"289\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"317\"\u003eAll The Dicks Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just a gag gift, it’s a full-on edible, explosive, and glittery assault that leaves your target laughing, gagging, and possibly sweeping for hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"475\" data-end=\"531\"\u003eInside this glorious package of nonsense, they’ll get:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"764\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"580\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"580\"\u003eA solid chocolate dick they can actually eat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"581\" data-end=\"673\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"583\" data-end=\"673\"\u003eA bag of chewy gummy dicks they can snack or spit out depending on their emotional state\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"674\" data-end=\"764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"676\" data-end=\"764\"\u003eA spring-loaded dick confetti bomb that blasts a glittery mess straight into their lap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"766\" data-end=\"877\"\u003eAll packed up and shipped \u003cstrong data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"819\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can watch the chaos unfold from a safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"904\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send someone the ultimate edible and glitter combo prank that will be remembered (and vacuumed) for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1070\"\u003eWhy This Bundle Is Pure Prank Perfection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1071\" data-end=\"1219\"\u003eYou could just send a chocolate dick. You could just send a gummy dick. You could even just send a glitter dick bomb. But where’s the fun in that?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1414\"\u003eThe real comedy comes from hitting them with all three. They think they’ve seen the joke? Nope, here’s another. And another. It’s the prank equivalent of a triple punch combo in a video game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1416\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003ePlus, this bundle saves you money, so you get to be both hilarious and financially responsible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1515\" data-end=\"1518\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1520\" data-end=\"1554\"\u003eA Visual You’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1555\" data-end=\"1835\"\u003ePicture this: your friend gets a mysterious package. They open it and find a sweet chocolate dick. Funny, right? Then they notice the bag of gummy dicks. Hilarious. Then they open the third item and BAM - a glittery confetti blast of mini paper dicks all over their living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1837\" data-end=\"1974\"\u003eAt this point, they’re either laughing so hard they can’t breathe or texting you in all caps with 14 angry emojis. Either way, you win.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1976\" data-end=\"1979\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1981\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003eWhat’s Inside The All The Dicks Bundle\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2026\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2026\" data-end=\"2133\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2133\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2046\"\u003eChocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e - Solid, handcrafted, and made to be eaten (or not, depending on how petty they are)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2134\" data-end=\"2210\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2136\" data-end=\"2210\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2136\" data-end=\"2151\"\u003eGummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - Chewy, fruity, and shaped for maximum immature giggles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2211\" data-end=\"2326\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2213\" data-end=\"2326\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2213\" data-end=\"2248\"\u003eSpring-Loaded Dick Glitter Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e - Packed with shiny paper dicks and glitter for a messy, hilarious surprise\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2327\" data-end=\"2364\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2329\" data-end=\"2364\"\u003eShips \u003cstrong data-start=\"2335\" data-end=\"2362\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2365\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2367\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003eDiscounted compared to buying each prank separately\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2422\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2427\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003eHow to Use This Bundle Like a Pro\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2467\" data-end=\"2775\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2467\" data-end=\"2543\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2469\" data-end=\"2543\"\u003eSend it as a birthday prank to a friend who swears they’ve “seen it all”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2544\" data-end=\"2605\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2546\" data-end=\"2605\"\u003eMake it a bachelor party surprise that no one will forget\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2606\" data-end=\"2683\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2608\" data-end=\"2683\"\u003eUse it for a breakup joke that’s part edible gift, part cleanup nightmare\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2684\" data-end=\"2775\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2686\" data-end=\"2775\"\u003eSend it to a roommate who ate your leftovers (sweet revenge never tasted so chocolatey)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2777\" data-end=\"2780\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2782\" data-end=\"2817\"\u003eThe Triple Reaction Guarantee\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2818\" data-end=\"2881\"\u003eWith this bundle, you’re guaranteed three distinct reactions:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"3040\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2917\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2885\" data-end=\"2917\"\u003eLaughing at the chocolate dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2918\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2921\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003eEye-rolling and snacking on the gummy dicks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2967\" data-end=\"3040\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2970\" data-end=\"3040\"\u003eScreaming and swearing while picking glitter dicks out of the carpet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3042\" data-end=\"3108\"\u003eIt’s a full emotional arc, and you’re the evil genius behind it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3110\" data-end=\"3113\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3115\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3133\" data-end=\"3403\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3137\" data-end=\"3161\"\u003eAll The Dicks Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e is for people who believe in going big or going home. One prank is funny. Three pranks in one box? That’s legendary. Whether it’s for a birthday, revenge, or just because you woke up and chose chaos, this bundle delivers every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3405\" data-end=\"3483\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3405\" data-end=\"3430\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and become the hero (or villain) of someone’s day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3405\" data-end=\"3483\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41666439020628,"sku":"BOD\u0026DICKBOMB\u0026CHOCOD","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/all-the-dicks-bundle-gummy-dicks-chocolate-dick-and-dick-glitter-bomb-2355220.png?v=1755878848"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-christmas-glitter-bomb","title":"Spring Loaded Christmas Glitter Cannon Prank!","description":"\u003cp\u003eGive a Christmas gift that will have the whole family feeling festive this year. Our brand new Spring Loaded Christmas Confetti Bomb will shoot out Holiday themed confetti (mixed with Dicks or Jizz if you want to add them) for a holiday surprise. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOur Spring Loaded Dick Christmas comes in a standard tube that looks similar to the second picture, not the third and fourth picture - those are just to demo the dick and jizz confetti. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the dick bomb, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Just Christmas","offer_id":41710676377684,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double The Christmas Confetti","offer_id":41710676410452,"sku":"DOUBLECHRISTMASBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Dicks \u0026 Christmas Confetti","offer_id":41710676443220,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mix Christmas and Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41710676475988,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas \u0026 Dicks \u0026 Jizz Confetti","offer_id":41710676508756,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDDICKANDJIZZABOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas Confetti \u0026 Regular Glitter","offer_id":41710676541524,"sku":"CHRISTMASANDDICKANDGLITTERBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-christmas-bundle-5590301.jpg?v=1755878738"},{"product_id":"birthday-bag-of-dicks","title":"Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"144\" data-end=\"207\"\u003eHappy Birthday Bag of Dicks – Because Cake is Overrated\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"209\" data-end=\"332\"\u003eYou know what every birthday needs? A cake, some booze, a few questionable life choices… and a bag of fruity gummy dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"334\" data-end=\"630\"\u003eYes, you read that right. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"395\"\u003eHappy Birthday Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is the edible prank that says, “I care about you” and “also, eat a dick” in the same breath. It’s sweet, it’s chewy, it’s anatomically hilarious, and it’s going to be the one gift they remember long after the balloons have deflated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"632\" data-end=\"889\"\u003eIf you’re tired of giving boring cards or generic candles, this is your move. It’s the ultimate birthday gag gift – funny enough to get a belly laugh, tasty enough to actually eat, and just inappropriate enough to make everyone question how they know you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"891\" data-end=\"958\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"891\" data-end=\"945\"\u003eOrder now, and make their birthday a little more d\u003c\/strong\u003eklicious.**\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"960\" data-end=\"963\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"1011\"\u003eWhy This is the Perfect Birthday Surprise\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1013\" data-end=\"1282\"\u003eMost birthday gifts are forgettable. Nobody talks about the coffee mug you got them three years ago. But a bag of rainbow-colored gummy penises? Oh, they’ll talk. They’ll laugh. They’ll probably send you a text that says “WTF” followed by “also, these are delicious.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1450\"\u003eThis isn’t just candy – it’s an experience. The Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks brings that perfect mix of shock, laughter, and sugar rush that every celebration needs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1452\" data-end=\"1455\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1457\" data-end=\"1487\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1489\" data-end=\"1678\"\u003ePicture it: they open the birthday-themed bag, expecting chocolates, maybe mints. Nope. Ten perfectly crafted gummy dicks, bright and fruity, just sitting there, staring them in the face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1680\" data-end=\"1838\"\u003eThen comes the laugh. Then the photos. Then the moment they realize… they actually taste good. Suddenly, your edible prank just became the hit of the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1843\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"1877\"\u003eWhat Real People Are Saying\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1879\" data-end=\"2087\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1881\" data-end=\"2087\"\u003e“Good gag birthday gift.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1909\"\u003e“I anonymously send this birthday gift every year at the end of April… and y’all never disappoint!!! Love it!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2021\" data-end=\"2024\"\u003e“I can’t wait to give these out as gifts! Super hilarious.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2089\" data-end=\"2092\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2094\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2120\" data-end=\"2366\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2120\" data-end=\"2178\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2122\" data-end=\"2178\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2122\" data-end=\"2150\"\u003eBirthday-themed gift bag\u003c\/strong\u003e that screams celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2179\" data-end=\"2239\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2181\" data-end=\"2239\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2181\" data-end=\"2206\"\u003e10 fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – sweet, chewy, and hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2240\" data-end=\"2309\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2242\" data-end=\"2309\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2242\" data-end=\"2273\"\u003eOptional anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e so they’ll never know it was you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2310\" data-end=\"2366\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2312\" data-end=\"2366\"\u003eThe perfect combo of dirty joke and delicious snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2368\" data-end=\"2371\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2373\" data-end=\"2422\"\u003eWhen to Send the Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2496\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2426\" data-end=\"2496\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2426\" data-end=\"2449\"\u003eTo your best friend\u003c\/strong\u003e who can handle a little inappropriate humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2497\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2499\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2499\" data-end=\"2513\"\u003eAs revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e for that prank they pulled on you last year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2561\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003eFor the family member\u003c\/strong\u003e who has no filter anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2617\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2619\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2619\" data-end=\"2651\"\u003eAt a white elephant exchange\u003c\/strong\u003e where you want to win by pure shock value.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2698\" data-end=\"2701\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2703\" data-end=\"2720\"\u003eHow It Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2722\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2722\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2725\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003eAdd the Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks to your cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2777\" data-end=\"2850\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2780\" data-end=\"2850\"\u003eEnter their address (or yours if you want to hand it over yourself).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2851\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2854\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003eDecide if you want to stay anonymous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2894\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2897\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003eWait for the inevitable text or phone call that starts with, “You absolute a**hole…”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2985\" data-end=\"2988\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2990\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003eThe Gift That Lives in Infamy\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3026\" data-end=\"3251\"\u003eSure, they’ll finish the gummies in a night, but the story? That’s forever. This is the kind of present that pops up in group chats, gets retold at the next barbecue, and cements you as the funniest gift-giver in the group.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3253\" data-end=\"3414\"\u003eBecause when you boil it down, birthdays are about creating memories. And nothing says “happy birthday” quite like a mouthful of dicks… candy dicks, of course.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3419\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3421\" data-end=\"3601\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3424\" data-end=\"3496\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and send them a Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3496\" data-end=\"3499\"\u003eGive the gift of laughter, sugar, and mild humiliation – all wrapped up in a festive little package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41789113892948,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41789113925716,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three","offer_id":41789113958484,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four","offer_id":41789113991252,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41789114056788,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - For the whole party!","offer_id":41789114122324,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/happy-birthday-bag-of-dicks-9852683.png?v=1770741836"},{"product_id":"heartfelt-love-bag-of-dicks","title":"Bag of Dicks - I Thought You Could Use Some Dick Edition - A Heartfelt Gift","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"363\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"361\"\u003eBag of Dicks – I Thought You Could Use Some Dick Edition – A Heartfelt Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"453\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"451\"\u003eBecause sometimes the sweetest way to say “I care” is with a mouthful of gummy dicks.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"455\" data-end=\"726\"\u003eTired of boring gifts? Flowers wilt. Cards get tossed. Chocolates? Predictable. You know what’s unforgettable? Sending someone a \u003cstrong data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"610\"\u003eheart-covered gift bag\u003c\/strong\u003e filled with \u003cstrong data-start=\"623\" data-end=\"648\"\u003e10 fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e and a bold, loving message that says \u003cem data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"724\"\u003e“I thought you could use some dick.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"884\"\u003eIt’s romantic. It’s inappropriate. It’s delicious. And it ships 100 percent anonymously so you can drop this edible love bomb without ever getting caught.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"886\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003eWhether it’s for Valentine’s Day, a birthday gag, a playful romantic gesture, or a “just because I love you and think you need more dick in your life” moment, this is the gift that says exactly what’s on your mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1104\" data-end=\"1211\"\u003eSo stop pretending you’re sentimental. Click \u003cstrong data-start=\"1149\" data-end=\"1164\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e and send them the bag of dicks they deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1213\" data-end=\"1216\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eWhy This Bag of Dicks is Pure Heartfelt Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1270\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1270\" data-end=\"1322\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1272\" data-end=\"1322\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1272\" data-end=\"1296\"\u003eFunny and thoughtful\u003c\/strong\u003e – Yes, you can be both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1323\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1325\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1325\" data-end=\"1343\"\u003eActually tasty\u003c\/strong\u003e – Cherry, green apple, and blue raspberry gummy penis candy that’s dangerously snackable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1436\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1438\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1438\" data-end=\"1460\"\u003eAnonymous delivery\u003c\/strong\u003e – They’ll never know it was you… unless you want them to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1521\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003ePerfect for dirty-minded romantics\u003c\/strong\u003e – Friends, lovers, or that single friend who could use a laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1629\" data-end=\"1632\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1634\" data-end=\"1664\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1666\" data-end=\"1857\"\u003ePicture it. They open a cute, heart-covered bag. They expect chocolates. Maybe a scented candle. Instead, they’re greeted by 10 glorious, fruity, \u003cstrong data-start=\"1812\" data-end=\"1835\"\u003edick-shaped gummies\u003c\/strong\u003e smiling up at them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1859\" data-end=\"2064\"\u003eThey laugh. They blush. They immediately take a photo and send it to their group chat. Someone says “Wait… who sent you that?” and they’ll have no idea. Unless, of course, you can’t keep your mouth shut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2066\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003eThen they take a bite. And now you’ve gone from hilarious prank to delivering one of the best candy surprises they’ve had all year. Because yes, these \u003cstrong data-start=\"2217\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003egummy penis candy pieces\u003c\/strong\u003e are made for comedy but taste like the real deal when it comes to flavor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2323\" data-end=\"2326\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2328\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Shared the Love\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2379\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2381\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e“Sent it to a friend for Valentine’s Day, she loved it!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2437\" data-end=\"2440\"\u003e“Hilarious, reliable, awesome service.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2481\" data-end=\"2484\"\u003e“Perfect mix of funny and thoughtful, recipient couldn’t stop laughing.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2562\" data-end=\"2565\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2567\" data-end=\"2591\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2593\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2593\" data-end=\"2665\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2665\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2625\"\u003eOne heart-covered gift bag\u003c\/strong\u003e filled with 10 fruity \u003cstrong data-start=\"2648\" data-end=\"2663\"\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2666\" data-end=\"2745\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2668\" data-end=\"2745\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2668\" data-end=\"2680\"\u003eFlavors:\u003c\/strong\u003e A mouthwatering mix of cherry, green apple, and blue raspberry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2746\" data-end=\"2805\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2748\" data-end=\"2805\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2748\" data-end=\"2767\"\u003eMessage on bag:\u003c\/strong\u003e “I thought you could use some dick”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2806\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2808\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2808\" data-end=\"2828\"\u003eQuantity:\u003c\/strong\u003e Single, Double em!, Three – Do you really love me?, Four – Yes Please, I’d like more, Six – send more dicks!, Ten – A whole lot of love\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2967\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2969\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2969\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously with no branding or receipt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3044\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3062\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Valentine’s Day surprise, birthday gag gift, anonymous prank, gift for single friends, edible joke, playful romantic gesture\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3191\" data-end=\"3194\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3196\" data-end=\"3231\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3233\" data-end=\"3506\"\u003eBecause it’s the perfect mix of dirty humor and actual quality candy. People expect a naughty laugh, but they don’t expect the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3360\" data-end=\"3380\"\u003egummy dick candy\u003c\/strong\u003e to be genuinely delicious. That’s what makes this gift legendary – it’s not just a joke, it’s a snack they’ll actually eat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3508\" data-end=\"3784\"\u003eIt works for couples with a twisted sense of humor, friends who appreciate adult candy, or that ex you’re still on “playfully inappropriate” terms with. And unlike a lame card or flowers, this gift will be remembered, photographed, and probably posted online for all to see.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3786\" data-end=\"3789\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3791\" data-end=\"3826\"\u003eSend the Dick. Spread the Joy.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3828\" data-end=\"4020\"\u003eRight now, someone you know could use a smile, a laugh, and maybe a mouthful of \u003cstrong data-start=\"3908\" data-end=\"3932\"\u003epenis-shaped gummies\u003c\/strong\u003e. You could send them something boring… or you could send them exactly what they need.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4022\" data-end=\"4176\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"4028\" data-end=\"4043\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e. Send the \u003cstrong data-start=\"4054\" data-end=\"4114\"\u003eBag of Dicks – I Thought You Could Use Some Dick Edition\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003cbr data-start=\"4115\" data-end=\"4118\"\u003eMake their day just a little sweeter, and a lot dirtier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4022\" data-end=\"4176\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41791317868628,"sku":"LOVEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41791317901396,"sku":"LOVEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41791317934164,"sku":"LOVEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41791317966932,"sku":"LOVEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41791317999700,"sku":"LOVEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41791318032468,"sku":"LOVEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-dicks-i-thought-you-could-use-some-dick-edition-a-heartfelt-gift-2691147.jpg?v=1755878736"},{"product_id":"pride-bag-of-gummy-dicks","title":"Pride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"218\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks - Sweet, Sassy, and Deliciously Offensive\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"220\" data-end=\"556\"\u003eLet’s be honest - there’s no polite way to hand someone a bag of gummy dicks. And that’s the beauty of it. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"331\" data-end=\"367\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is loud, proud, fruity as hell, and unapologetically inappropriate. It’s the perfect mix of sweet and sassy, guaranteed to make someone laugh so hard they choke on a chewy rainbow shaft.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"558\" data-end=\"652\"\u003eIt’s candy with a cause - to spread love, laughter, and maybe a little bit of petty payback.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"654\" data-end=\"956\"\u003eYou want to know why this is better than sending boring chocolates or flowers? Because anybody can do that. But sending a colorful bag of penis-shaped gummies? That’s not just a gift, that’s a \u003cem data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"858\"\u003estatement\u003c\/em\u003e. It says, “I love you enough to send you a bag of dicks… and I hope you enjoy every last bite.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003eOrder now, send anonymously, and watch as your friends try to figure out who sent them this chewy rainbow of joy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1079\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1153\"\u003eWhy You’ll Love Sending (or Receiving) This Bag of Rainbow Dicks\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eBecause it’s fun. Because it’s ridiculous. Because candy tastes better when it’s shaped like something inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1579\"\u003eThe Pride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks isn’t just a gag - it’s actually good candy. Each bag comes with 10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy penises that are soft, chewy, and bursting with flavor. Whether you send it as a Pride Month gift, a party favor, or a random Tuesday pick-me-up, it lands every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1581\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003eAnd yes - it ships \u003cstrong data-start=\"1600\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e. No awkward “return address” giving you away. Just you, cackling from the shadows like the benevolent prankster you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1752\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1757\" data-end=\"1783\"\u003eWhat’s Inside the Bag\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1785\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1785\" data-end=\"1870\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1870\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1829\"\u003e10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - delicious and proudly inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1871\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1873\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1873\" data-end=\"1899\"\u003ePride-themed packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e - bright, bold, and impossible to ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1944\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"1966\"\u003eShips discreetly\u003c\/strong\u003e - so you can send to anyone without spoiling the surprise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2030\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2030\" data-end=\"2052\"\u003eReal candy quality\u003c\/strong\u003e - these aren’t chalky dollar-store gummies, they’re legit tasty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2124\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2126\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003eWhat Customers Are Saying\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2160\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e“I sent to my friend as a joke and he thought it was hilarious!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2279\"\u003eShort, sweet, and exactly what we were going for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2281\" data-end=\"2284\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2286\" data-end=\"2303\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2392\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2392\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003ePride Month celebrations\u003c\/strong\u003e - because nothing says “love wins” like rainbow dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2393\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2395\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2395\" data-end=\"2415\"\u003eLGBTQ+ gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e - sweet, silly, and a little scandalous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2459\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2461\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2461\" data-end=\"2483\"\u003eBirthday surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e - imagine opening a gift bag and seeing these staring back at you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2553\" data-end=\"2608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2582\"\u003eAnonymous edible pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e - leave them wondering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2609\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2627\"\u003eParty favors\u003c\/strong\u003e - every guest gets a mouthful of fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2668\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2686\"\u003eJust because\u003c\/strong\u003e - do you even need a reason?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2719\" data-end=\"2722\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2724\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eThe Story You’ll Be Dying to Tell\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2764\" data-end=\"2976\"\u003eHere’s how it goes: Your friend gets a package. They’re intrigued. They open it and pull out a Pride-themed bag. They look inside… and instantly realize they’re holding 10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy penises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2978\" data-end=\"3161\"\u003eThey laugh. They blush. They maybe even pop one in their mouth right there. And then they \u003cem data-start=\"3068\" data-end=\"3074\"\u003ehave\u003c\/em\u003e to tell someone about it, because this is not the kind of gift you keep to yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3163\" data-end=\"3166\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3168\" data-end=\"3204\"\u003eHow to Make This Gift Legendary\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3206\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3206\" data-end=\"3250\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3250\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3224\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e - stop overthinking it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3251\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3254\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3254\" data-end=\"3277\"\u003ePick your recipient\u003c\/strong\u003e - friend, partner, party host, or random cousin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3329\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3352\"\u003eShip anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - plausible deniability is a beautiful thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3401\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3404\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3404\" data-end=\"3427\"\u003eEnjoy the aftermath\u003c\/strong\u003e - because you know this will become a group chat story.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3487\" data-end=\"3490\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3492\" data-end=\"3547\"\u003eFinal Take: This is How You Spread Joy (and Dicks)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3549\" data-end=\"3744\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3553\" data-end=\"3589\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is the perfect combination of sweet, rude, and ridiculously fun. It’s a candy gift that celebrates Pride, makes people laugh, and actually tastes great.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3746\" data-end=\"3911\"\u003eWhether you’re sending it as a show of love, as a laugh-out-loud party favor, or just to make someone’s day a little more colorful (and awkward), this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3913\" data-end=\"4006\"\u003e🌈 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3916\" data-end=\"3934\"\u003eGrab a bag now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send someone a chewy, fruity, rainbow shaft they’ll never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3913\" data-end=\"4006\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41791354273876,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41791354306644,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41791354339412,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41791354372180,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41791354404948,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41791354437716,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-ds-something-i-know-youll-love-8872955.png?v=1779249067"},{"product_id":"bag-of-ds-i-thought-you-could-use-some-d-a-heartfelt-gift","title":"Bag of Gummy D's - I Thought You Could Use Some D","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"168\" data-end=\"225\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - I Thought You Could Use Some D\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"227\" data-end=\"582\"\u003eSometimes words just aren’t enough. Sometimes you need to send a message that’s sweet, juicy, and shaped like… well, you know. Enter the \u003cstrong data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - I Thought You Could Use Some D\u003c\/strong\u003e. Ten fruity, brightly colored, delicious little gummy penises in a heart-covered bag that says exactly what you’re thinking without you having to say it out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"906\"\u003eIf flowers are for romance, these are for chaos. Perfect for Valentine’s Day, birthdays, or just those random Tuesday afternoons when your buddy looks like they could use a good laugh (and a mouthful of candy D). Ships 100 percent anonymously, so you can watch the mystery and confusion unfold without ever being caught.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"973\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"971\"\u003eOrder now and send them the D they didn’t know they needed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"978\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"980\" data-end=\"1026\"\u003eWhy This is the Gift They’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1028\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003eMost candy gifts? Forgettable. They unwrap it, eat it, and move on with their life. Not these bad boys. These gummy penises are more than candy - they’re a statement. They say, “I’m thinking about you, but in the most uncomfortably hilarious way possible.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1288\" data-end=\"1553\"\u003eIt’s the perfect edible gag gift. Sweet enough to actually enjoy, but funny enough to leave a lasting impression. And because they ship in a discreet, anonymous package, the recipient will spend way too much time wondering who sent them a bag full of candy cocks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1555\" data-end=\"1558\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1560\" data-end=\"1590\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1592\" data-end=\"1918\"\u003ePicture this. Your friend gets a small, heart-covered bag in the mail. They open it. Their brain says “candy,” but their eyes say “are those… tiny penises?” They laugh, they take a photo, they send it to the group chat. Suddenly, you’ve started a chain reaction of laughter, inappropriate jokes, and maybe even a taste test.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1920\" data-end=\"2044\"\u003eIf you’re lucky, they’ll post it online. If you’re \u003cem data-start=\"1971\" data-end=\"1979\"\u003ereally\u003c\/em\u003e lucky, they’ll keep one as a trophy in a candy jar for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2046\" data-end=\"2049\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2051\" data-end=\"2097\"\u003ePerfect for When Someone Could Use Some D\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2099\" data-end=\"2203\"\u003eWhether you’re looking to get a laugh or make a subtle (or not-so-subtle) statement, this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2262\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2207\" data-end=\"2262\"\u003eValentine’s Day surprise that’s more funny than sappy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2263\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2265\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003eBirthday gag gift for that friend who “has everything”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2368\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2324\" data-end=\"2368\"\u003eA sweet pick-me-up for your single friends\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2369\" data-end=\"2430\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2371\" data-end=\"2430\"\u003eJust because you felt like mailing someone candy genitals\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2431\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2433\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003eA playful edible joke for someone who loves a laugh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2491\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2493\" data-end=\"2519\"\u003eWhat’s Inside the Bag\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2521\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2521\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2523\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2523\" data-end=\"2548\"\u003e10 fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - soft, chewy, and packed with flavor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2589\" data-end=\"2680\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2591\" data-end=\"2680\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2591\" data-end=\"2612\"\u003eHeart-covered bag\u003c\/strong\u003e - because nothing says romance like candy cocks in cute packaging\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2681\" data-end=\"2751\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2683\" data-end=\"2751\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2683\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - they’ll never know it was you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2752\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2754\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eA perfect balance of humor and sugar, making it the ultimate edible prank\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2831\" data-end=\"2834\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2836\" data-end=\"2872\"\u003eHow to Pull This Off Like a Pro\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2874\" data-end=\"3084\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2874\" data-end=\"2918\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2877\" data-end=\"2918\"\u003eAdd this bag of gummy D’s to your cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2919\" data-end=\"2996\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2922\" data-end=\"2996\"\u003eEnter their address, not yours. (Unless you want to hand-deliver the D.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2997\" data-end=\"3084\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3000\" data-end=\"3084\"\u003eSit back and wait for the texts, calls, or social media posts to start rolling in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3269\" data-end=\"3272\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3274\" data-end=\"3290\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3292\" data-end=\"3618\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3349\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - I Thought You Could Use Some D\u003c\/strong\u003e is not just candy. It’s comedy. It’s chaos. It’s a sugar-packed punchline in a bag. It’s for the friend who can take a joke, the ex who needs a laugh, or anyone who could use a sweet, fruity reminder that you’re thinking of them… in the most ridiculous way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3620\" data-end=\"3703\"\u003eStop overthinking your gift. Skip the boring, predictable stuff. Send them the D.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"3824\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"3822\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and give someone the most unforgettable, inappropriate, and tasty surprise of their life.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"3824\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41832675770452,"sku":"LOVEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41832675803220,"sku":"LOVEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41832675835988,"sku":"LOVEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41832675868756,"sku":"LOVEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41832675901524,"sku":"LOVEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41832675934292,"sku":"LOVEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-ds-i-thought-you-could-use-some-d-7773576.jpg?v=1770741836"},{"product_id":"valentines-dick-edible-arrangement","title":"The Naughty Valentine’s Edible Arrangement: Chocolate Dicks, Gummy Dicks \u0026 Chocolate Buttholes","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Naughty Valentine’s Edible Arrangement: Chocolate Dicks, Gummy Dicks \u0026amp; Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLooking for a \u003cstrong\u003ehilarious, slightly scandalous Valentine’s gift\u003c\/strong\u003e? Skip the cliché heart-shaped box and go straight for an \u003cstrong\u003eNSFW edible arrangement\u003c\/strong\u003e packed with \u003cstrong\u003emilk chocolate dicks, chewy gummy dicks, and rich dark chocolate buttholes.\u003c\/strong\u003e This bundle is \u003cstrong\u003ethe ultimate mix of sweet, sassy, and a little sinful.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💖 \u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Inside?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🍆 \u003cstrong\u003e\"Be Mine\" Solid Milk Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because nothing says \"love\" like a thick, handcrafted chocolate surprise.\u003cbr\u003e🍫 \u003cstrong\u003e\"Nuts About You\" Dark Chocolate Dick with Crunchy Nuts\u003c\/strong\u003e – Tell them how crazy you are about them with SECOND chocolate dick\u003cbr\u003e🍑 \u003cstrong\u003e\"Eat Ass\" Dark Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because sometimes, dessert is all about the backside.\u003cbr\u003e🍬 \u003cstrong\u003e\"I Thought You Could Use Some Dick\" Fruity Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – A chewy, flavorful way to say \"You're on my mind.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎯 \u003cstrong\u003eWho’s This For?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eThe Valentine with a wild sense of humor\u003c\/strong\u003e (\u003cem\u003ebecause regular chocolate is just too basic\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eThat single friend who keeps saying they “need some dick”\u003c\/strong\u003e (\u003cem\u003ewe’re just here to help\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eA bachelorette, bachelor, or Galentine’s party\u003c\/strong\u003e (\u003cem\u003ethis candy gets people talking\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003cbr\u003e✔️ \u003cstrong\u003eAnyone who appreciates top-tier chocolate with a side of laughter\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💝 \u003cstrong\u003eSweet, spicy, and guaranteed to get a reaction.\u003c\/strong\u003e This isn’t just a gift—it’s a conversation starter, a memory-maker, and the best way to send a message they won’t forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e👉 \u003cem\u003eStock is limited—grab yours before they’re gone!\u003c\/em\u003e Because nothing lasts forever… except our dedication to shipping dicks across the country.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Regular","offer_id":41859034939476,"sku":null,"price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-naughty-valentines-edible-arrangement-chocolate-dicks-gummy-dicks-chocolate-buttholes-3757470.png?v=1755878738"},{"product_id":"the-take-the-hint-valentine-s-bundle","title":"The \"Take the Hint\" Valentine’s Bundle - Vibrator and Gummy Dicks ❤️🍆😏","description":"\u003cp\u003eRoses are red, violets are blue, this bag's full of dicks… and so are my thoughts about you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💘 \u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Inside?\u003c\/strong\u003e 💘\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe “Go F\u003c\/strong\u003e* Yourself” Emojibator** – A cheeky little tool for \u003cem\u003epersonal\u003c\/em\u003e satisfaction… but let’s be real, I’d rather be handling that for you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA Heartfelt Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – Sweet, chewy, and slightly suggestive—kind of like me when I think about you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not \u003cem\u003ejust\u003c\/em\u003e a gag gift—it’s an \u003cstrong\u003einvitation\u003c\/strong\u003e. A \u003cem\u003ewink-wink, nudge-nudge\u003c\/em\u003e, let’s-cut-the-tension-and-do-something-about-it kind of situation. So, what do you say? Keep the toys, or come unwrap the real thing? 😏\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy Valentine’s—hope you take the hint.\u003c\/strong\u003e 💋🔥\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"bundle variant #1","offer_id":41861372117076,"sku":null,"price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-take-the-hint-valentines-bundle-vibrator-and-gummy-dicks-4691674.png?v=1755878733"},{"product_id":"pride-rainbow-bag-of-gummy-ds","title":"Bag of Gummy D's - Something I Know You'll Love","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"235\" data-end=\"290\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - Something I Know You’ll Love\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"292\" data-end=\"567\"\u003eEver wanted to give someone a gift that’s sweet, colorful, and just \u003cem data-start=\"360\" data-end=\"370\"\u003eslightly\u003c\/em\u003e offensive? Say hello to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"399\" data-end=\"419\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s\u003c\/strong\u003e - 10 fruity rainbow-colored gummy penises in a Pride-themed bag, perfect for celebrating love, laughs, and maybe a little bit of awkward chewing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"569\" data-end=\"662\"\u003eThis is not your grandma’s candy. Unless, of course, your grandma is a savage prank legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"664\" data-end=\"755\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"664\" data-end=\"753\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and anonymously send someone a mouthful they’ll never forget.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"760\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eWhy This Hits Different\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"903\"\u003eSure, you could send flowers. But flowers wilt. Candy hearts are boring. And regular gummy bears? Snoozefest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"905\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003eThese penis gummies, though? They’re unapologetically funny, deliciously fruity, and rainbow AF. They send a message that says, “I love you, I’m proud of you, and also, here’s a bag of dicks.” Whether it’s Pride Month, a birthday, Galentine’s, or just a Tuesday, these little guys get the reaction you’re really after - jaw-drop, laughter, and maybe even a photo for Instagram.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1320\"\u003eOne Gift, Endless Laughs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1322\" data-end=\"1612\"\u003eImagine it. Your friend gets a discreet package in the mail. They open it up, see a bag bursting with bright, colorful penis gummies, and immediately spit out their coffee. They either laugh so hard they cry, or immediately eat one and ask what flavor “blue dick” is. Either way, you win.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1614\" data-end=\"1657\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1616\" data-end=\"1657\"\u003e“Sent the bag and we had a good laugh.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1733\"\u003eThat’s the whole point - laughs that linger long after the bag is empty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1735\" data-end=\"1738\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1740\" data-end=\"1757\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1759\" data-end=\"2099\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1759\" data-end=\"1819\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1761\" data-end=\"1819\"\u003ePride Month celebrations that need a little extra flair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1820\" data-end=\"1880\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1822\" data-end=\"1880\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts that beat another boring Amazon card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1881\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1883\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003eGalentine’s parties where wine meets inappropriate snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1944\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003eAnonymous edible pranks that leave people both confused and delighted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2019\" data-end=\"2099\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2021\" data-end=\"2099\"\u003e“Just because” surprises when you want to drop candy chaos on someone’s day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2101\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2106\" data-end=\"2123\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2125\" data-end=\"2352\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2125\" data-end=\"2204\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2127\" data-end=\"2204\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2127\" data-end=\"2170\"\u003e10 fruity rainbow-colored gummy penises\u003c\/strong\u003e in a colorful Pride-themed bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2207\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003eA perfect mix of sweetness and sass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping - your secret’s safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2303\" data-end=\"2352\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2352\"\u003eA guaranteed story they’ll retell to friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2354\" data-end=\"2357\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2359\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003eHow to Pull This Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2386\" data-end=\"2647\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2386\" data-end=\"2484\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2389\" data-end=\"2484\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2389\" data-end=\"2422\"\u003eOrder your bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - one for them, maybe one for yourself (research purposes).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2485\" data-end=\"2546\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2546\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003eShip it anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e so they have no idea it was you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2547\" data-end=\"2647\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2550\" data-end=\"2647\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2550\" data-end=\"2602\"\u003eWait for the texts, calls, or social media posts\u003c\/strong\u003e because they \u003cem data-start=\"2616\" data-end=\"2622\"\u003ewill\u003c\/em\u003e want to show this off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2652\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2674\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2676\" data-end=\"2962\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"2680\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - Something I Know You’ll Love\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just candy. It’s a pride-filled, rainbow-wrapped edible prank that hits the sweet spot between hilarious and delicious. It works for friends, partners, exes you weirdly still talk to, and anyone with a good sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2964\" data-end=\"3129\"\u003eStop overthinking it. \u003cstrong data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"3031\"\u003eSend a bag of rainbow penis gummies today\u003c\/strong\u003e and give them the gift of laughter (and maybe a little choking hazard, but like, in a fun way).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2964\" data-end=\"3129\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2029\" data-end=\"2228\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2029\" data-end=\"2043\"\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e If you are sending to someone else, make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise, it's you that ends up with the bag of Ds, albeit deservedly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2291\"\u003eRecipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2295\" data-end=\"2415\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2295\" data-end=\"2413\"\u003eBy ordering, you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41894107938900,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41894107971668,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41894108004436,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41894108037204,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five!","offer_id":42000522379348,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-5","price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41894108069972,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41894108102740,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-ds-something-i-know-youll-love-8872955.png?v=1779249067"},{"product_id":"spring-loaded-poop-emoji-glitter-cannon-prank","title":"Spring Loaded Poop Emoji Glitter Cannon Prank","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"178\" data-end=\"228\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpring Loaded Poop Emoji Glitter Cannon Prank\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"230\" data-end=\"333\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"230\" data-end=\"331\"\u003eBecause sometimes words just aren’t enough… you have to send someone a face full of sparkly poop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"682\"\u003eYou know that one person who’s been begging for a little “special attention”? Maybe it’s your ex, your roommate who keeps “borrowing” your stuff, or your friend who still owes you $20 from 2017. Now you can give them the ultimate gift - a \u003cstrong data-start=\"574\" data-end=\"615\"\u003espring loaded poop emoji glitter bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e that explodes in their face like a brown, sparkly middle finger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"684\" data-end=\"955\"\u003eThis isn’t some sad sprinkle in an envelope. This is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"739\" data-end=\"765\"\u003eweaponized poop cannon\u003c\/strong\u003e in disguise, locked and loaded to fire an avalanche of glittery turds the moment they crack it open. And the best part? It ships 100% anonymously. You’re the ghost of petty revenge, baby.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"1033\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"957\" data-end=\"1031\"\u003eOrder now before you change your mind and settle for something boring.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1035\" data-end=\"1038\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1100\"\u003eWhy This Poop Cannon is a Work of Art in Petty Warfare\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1101\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003eThere are pranks, and then there are \u003cem data-start=\"1138\" data-end=\"1146\"\u003epranks\u003c\/em\u003e. This thing is like the Mona Lisa of revenge gifts. Here’s why:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1214\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1216\" data-end=\"1240\"\u003eDisguised packaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Looks like a harmless incense tube until… boom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1387\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003eExplosive delivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e The spring mechanism launches poop emoji confetti in all directions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1388\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1489\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1390\" data-end=\"1430\"\u003eMaximum chaos, zero cleanup for you:\u003c\/strong\u003e They deal with the mess. You deal with the satisfaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1490\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1492\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003eUniversal appeal:\u003c\/strong\u003e Poop jokes never go out of style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1551\" data-end=\"1701\"\u003eIf you’re looking for an \u003cstrong data-start=\"1576\" data-end=\"1595\"\u003eanonymous prank\u003c\/strong\u003e that’s equal parts savage and hilarious, this is your golden ticket - or rather, brown glittery ticket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1703\" data-end=\"1706\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1708\" data-end=\"1753\"\u003eThe Scene: Instant, Unforgettable Chaos\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1754\" data-end=\"1960\"\u003eImagine this. Your target receives a mysterious tube. Curiosity takes over. They pop it open. Suddenly - \u003cstrong data-start=\"1859\" data-end=\"1869\"\u003eKABOOM\u003c\/strong\u003e - a tidal wave of glittery poop emojis blasts across their floor, couch, hair, and soul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1962\" data-end=\"2159\"\u003eIt’s too late for them to stop it. They’re sparkling like a fabulous turd, wondering what life choices brought them here. Meanwhile, you’re somewhere else, sipping coffee, grinning like a maniac.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2161\" data-end=\"2164\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2166\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2503\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2204\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Fake incense tube for stealth delivery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2262\"\u003eMechanism:\u003c\/strong\u003e Spring-loaded glitter cannon\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2294\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2308\"\u003ePayload:\u003c\/strong\u003e Poop emoji confetti for maximum humiliation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2355\" data-end=\"2387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2357\" data-end=\"2387\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2357\" data-end=\"2370\"\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% anonymous\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2503\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2503\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2404\"\u003eOccasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Breakup joke, birthday surprise, revenge glitter bomb, poop-themed prank war, anonymous gag gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2505\" data-end=\"2508\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2510\" data-end=\"2544\"\u003eWays to Take It Over the Top\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2545\" data-end=\"2787\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2545\" data-end=\"2637\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2547\" data-end=\"2637\"\u003ePair it with a card from our \u003cstrong data-start=\"2576\" data-end=\"2606\"\u003eglitter bomb greeting card\u003c\/strong\u003e collection for a double hit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2638\" data-end=\"2726\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2640\" data-end=\"2726\"\u003eSend it alongside our \u003cstrong data-start=\"2662\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e gummies for the ultimate one-two punch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2727\" data-end=\"2787\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2729\" data-end=\"2787\"\u003eMail it during a holiday for extra “Why me?!” confusion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2789\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2794\" data-end=\"2810\"\u003eFinal Word\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2811\" data-end=\"2878\"\u003eLife’s too short for boring revenge. Go big. Go sparkly. Go poop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2880\" data-end=\"3124\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"2884\" data-end=\"2933\"\u003eSpring Loaded Poop Emoji Glitter Cannon Prank\u003c\/strong\u003e is your fast-track to legend status in the prank hall of fame. They’ll be picking glitter out of their carpet for months, and every time they find another poop emoji, they’ll think of you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3126\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3126\" data-end=\"3187\"\u003eClick Add to Cart and let the shitty glitter storm begin.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3126\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Poop Emojis","offer_id":41913576816724,"sku":"POOPBOMB","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double Poop Emojis","offer_id":41913576849492,"sku":"DOUBLEPOOPBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop \u0026 Trouser Snake Confetti","offer_id":41913576882260,"sku":"POOPANDDICKBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop \u0026 Baby Batter Confetti","offer_id":41913576915028,"sku":"POOPANDJIZZBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop Confetti \u0026 Glitter","offer_id":41913576947796,"sku":"POOPANDGLITTERBOMB","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Combo Poop \u0026 Trouser Snake \u0026 Baby Batter","offer_id":41913576980564,"sku":"POOPANDDICKANDJIZZBOMB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-poop-prank-bundle-5117254.jpg?v=1755878741"},{"product_id":"you-might-be-a-dick-but-youre-my-dick-pop-up-dick-card","title":"You Might Be A Dick, But You're My Dick Pop-Up Dick Card","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"127\"\u003eTrue Love Means Settling - And Laughing About It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"129\" data-end=\"558\"\u003eThere comes a day in every relationship when you stop chasing butterflies and start chasing your partner’s farts out of the sheets. And that, my friend, is when you know you’ve found \u003cem data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"321\"\u003ethe one\u003c\/em\u003e. The one dick. The same dick. \u003cstrong data-start=\"352\" data-end=\"364\"\u003eForever.\u003c\/strong\u003e So celebrate that oddly comforting, mildly frustrating, and occasionally disappointing reality with the \u003cstrong\u003eYou're MY Dick \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"495\"\u003eCard\u003c\/strong\u003e - a brutally honest love letter to your eternal penis partner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"654\"\u003eBuy now if you're brave enough to admit monogamy is just loving the same genitals on loop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"659\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"661\" data-end=\"713\"\u003eBecause Flowers Die, But Dick Jokes Live Forever\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"1032\"\u003eLet’s skip the sappy cards that pretend you still text each other “good morning” unironically. You’ve been through it. The fights, the makeup sex, the awkward family holidays, and that one time you both got food poisoning and still high-fived through it. You’re locked in. And not just emotionally - but anatomically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1034\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eYou're MY Dick \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1038\" data-end=\"1080\"\u003eCard\u003c\/strong\u003e says what Hallmark never will. It’s the only Valentine’s Day card that dares to honor the penis that’s been disappointing you since the first drunken hookup. And honestly? That kind of consistency deserves a standing ovation. Or at least a sarcastic applause and this card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1361\" data-end=\"1411\"\u003eA Love Story Told in One Blunt, Hilarious Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1413\" data-end=\"1728\"\u003eFlashback: You met. You flirted. You banged. You texted. You banged again. Eventually, you started leaving toothbrushes at each other’s place. Then came the “What are we?” talk, the “Let’s move in” moment, and the eventual horror realization that you’ve been staring at the same damn peen since Obama was in office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1730\" data-end=\"1865\"\u003eBut here you are. Still together. Still tolerating each other. Still making dick jokes to hide how deeply you actually love each other.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1867\" data-end=\"1885\"\u003eThis card gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1887\" data-end=\"1890\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1892\" data-end=\"1947\"\u003eHere’s What You’re Getting, You Brave Romantic, You\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1949\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"2083\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"1982\"\u003eCard\u003c\/strong\u003e featuring the glorious phrase “ You're MY Dick” - just in case they forgot what they signed up for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2106\"\u003eOptional add-ons\u003c\/strong\u003e like a bag of dicks, because why stop at a card when you can double down on dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2188\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2190\" data-end=\"2224\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - so if you're secretly roasting a situationship, your secret’s safe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2294\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2296\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003ePrinted on thick, quality cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e - unlike that limp noodle you’re roasting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2380\" data-end=\"2398\"\u003eBlank interior\u003c\/strong\u003e - for your own crude message, heartfelt apology, or explicit drawing of what “forever dick” looks like\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2503\" data-end=\"2506\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2508\" data-end=\"2576\"\u003ePerfect For These Deliciously Petty, Painfully Relatable Moments\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2578\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2638\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2580\" data-end=\"2607\"\u003eValentine’s Day sarcasm\u003c\/strong\u003e - Let Cupid choke on this card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2639\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2661\"\u003eAnniversary gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - Celebrate another 365 days of that familiar shaft\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2714\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2792\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2742\"\u003eFunny gift for couples\u003c\/strong\u003e - Because therapy’s expensive and laughter’s free\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2793\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2889\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2795\" data-end=\"2821\"\u003eRelationship milestone\u003c\/strong\u003e - Make your 5-year mark with a card that screams “you’re stuck now”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2890\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2970\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2892\" data-end=\"2914\"\u003ePetty revenge gift\u003c\/strong\u003e - For the one you love and lowkey hate at the same time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2972\" data-end=\"2975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2977\" data-end=\"3023\"\u003eMake ‘Em Laugh, Cringe, and Probably Blush\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eThis isn’t just a card. It’s a commitment wrapped in sarcasm, dipped in honesty, and served with a side of “Yep... this is our life now.” Whether you’re the kind of couple that has matching socks or the kind that argues over whose turn it is to buy toilet paper, this card is your anthem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3492\"\u003eSo if your idea of romance involves brutally honest jokes, relentless sarcasm, and a complete lack of emotional boundaries - \u003cstrong data-start=\"3440\" data-end=\"3459\"\u003econgratulations\u003c\/strong\u003e. You’ve found your perfect card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3494\" data-end=\"3497\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3499\" data-end=\"3577\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” Before Your Partner Realizes They Could’ve Done Better\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003eWhy wait? Show them you care \u003cem data-start=\"3608\" data-end=\"3616\"\u003eenough\u003c\/em\u003e to get them a card. But not so much that it doesn’t come with a solid dick roast.  You're MY Dick - because at this point, what choice do you really have?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3579\" data-end=\"3777\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46864775413844,"sku":"YOUREMYDICKCARD","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/you-might-be-a-dick-but-youre-my-dick-pop-up-dick-card-9709888.webp?v=1778917993"}],"url":"https:\/\/dicksbymail.com\/en-ro\/collections\/bags-of-dicks\/card.oembed","provider":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}