{"title":"Dicks \u0026 Candy","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"gummy-boobs-new-product","title":"Bag of Tits!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"122\" data-end=\"186\"\u003eBag of Tits – Because Sometimes a Card Just Won’t Cut It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"188\" data-end=\"438\"\u003eListen, life’s too short for boring gifts. You could send a boring “Happy Birthday” text, or you could send a sealed bag of \u003cstrong data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"340\"\u003esweet, chewy, gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e with a message like “Suck a Bag of Tits” or “Calm Your Tits.” Guess which one they’ll remember?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"475\"\u003eSpoiler alert: It’s not the text.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"477\" data-end=\"720\"\u003eThese aren’t just any gummy candies - these are perfectly shaped, squishy, boob-shaped confections that say exactly what you’re thinking without you having to pick up the phone. Funny? Yes. Inappropriate? Absolutely. Delicious? Oh, hell yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"722\" data-end=\"824\"\u003eSo stop playing it safe. \u003cstrong data-start=\"747\" data-end=\"822\"\u003eClick Add to Cart, send them a bag of tits, and watch the chaos unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"829\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"871\"\u003eWhy This Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"873\" data-end=\"986\"\u003eWe live in a world of Amazon wish lists and “thanks for the gift card” texts. Predictable. Boring. Forgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003eNow picture this:\u003cbr data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1008\"\u003eThey open a mysterious, anonymous package. They see the words “You’re the Tits.” Inside? An entire bag of gummy boobs, bouncing around in their sweet little candy perfection. Maybe you went full savage and added the glitter option - now they’re shaking glitter out of their hair while chewing a boob.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1312\" data-end=\"1339\"\u003eThis is a gift that says:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1340\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e“I care about you… but I’m also here to make your day weird.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1408\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003e“You matter to me… just not enough to send a Hallmark card.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1473\" data-end=\"1525\"\u003e“I’m a good friend, but also a menace to society.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1530\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1532\" data-end=\"1597\"\u003eThe Gift That Keeps on Giving (And Sticking to Their Carpet)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1599\" data-end=\"1656\"\u003eIt’s not just about the candy. It’s about the \u003cem data-start=\"1645\" data-end=\"1653\"\u003emoment\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1658\" data-end=\"1917\"\u003eYour buddy opens the bag during a livestream and loses it on camera.\u003cbr data-start=\"1726\" data-end=\"1729\"\u003eYour friend’s birthday party goes from PG to “what the hell is wrong with you?” in two seconds flat.\u003cbr data-start=\"1829\" data-end=\"1832\"\u003eYour glitter-add-on choice leaves their kitchen looking like a strip club exploded.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1919\" data-end=\"1970\"\u003eThese are not just gummy tits. They are memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1972\" data-end=\"1975\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1977\" data-end=\"2003\"\u003eReal Customer Stories\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2005\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2007\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e“Sent it to a guy I knew would appreciate them. On a live stream, he was happier than a kid on Christmas morning.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2124\"\u003e“Love it - had lots of laughs. I put the glitter option on the bag of tits and it was everywhere! I’ll be ordering again soon for a friend’s b-day.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2274\" data-end=\"2277\"\u003e“Got some tits for my daughter’s birthday and they were a big hit!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2350\" data-end=\"2353\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2355\" data-end=\"2386\"\u003eWhat You’re Really Sending\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2388\" data-end=\"2474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2474\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003eA sealed bag of gummy tits\u003c\/strong\u003e – soft, fruity, and shaped for maximum awkwardness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2475\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2477\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2477\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003eStock message of your choice\u003c\/strong\u003e – “You’re the Tits,” “Suck a Bag of Tits,” “Enjoy Your Boobies,” “Calm Your Tits.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2684\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2624\"\u003eOptional glitter add-on\u003c\/strong\u003e – because why stop at awkward when you can make it messy?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2685\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2687\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2687\" data-end=\"2709\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e – they’ll never know it was you… unless you crack and tell them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2778\" data-end=\"2781\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2783\" data-end=\"2800\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2802\" data-end=\"2866\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2866\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2804\" data-end=\"2826\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e – way better than another candle set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2867\" data-end=\"2951\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2951\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2869\" data-end=\"2902\"\u003eBachelor\/Bachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e – something to snack on between bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2952\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2954\" data-end=\"2974\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e – strike and vanish like a true candy assassin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3100\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003eJust because\u003c\/strong\u003e – sometimes you just gotta send someone a bag of tits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3102\" data-end=\"3105\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3107\" data-end=\"3130\"\u003eHow to Pull It Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3132\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3132\" data-end=\"3155\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3135\" data-end=\"3155\"\u003ePick your message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3156\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3159\" data-end=\"3219\"\u003eDecide if you want to add glitter for maximum destruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3220\" data-end=\"3245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3223\" data-end=\"3245\"\u003eShip it anonymously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3246\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3249\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eWait for the text, the call, or the public Instagram meltdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3318\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3320\" data-end=\"3338\"\u003eThe Aftermath\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3340\" data-end=\"3415\"\u003eThis isn’t the type of gift that gets a polite “thanks.” Nope. This gets:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3418\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003eA shocked laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3437\" data-end=\"3472\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3439\" data-end=\"3472\"\u003eA room full of confused people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3473\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3475\" data-end=\"3554\"\u003eA lifelong story where your name is mentioned right before “absolute legend.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3556\" data-end=\"3660\"\u003eBecause anyone can send chocolates. But only the brave (and slightly unhinged) send \u003cstrong data-start=\"3640\" data-end=\"3657\"\u003ea bag of tits\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3662\" data-end=\"3665\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3667\" data-end=\"3902\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3670\" data-end=\"3696\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now.\u003c\/strong\u003e Send a sweet, squishy, boob-shaped gift that’s part candy, part chaos, and 100% unforgettable. They’ll eat it, they’ll laugh, and if you’re lucky, they’ll choke on a gummy nipple while cursing your name.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3667\" data-end=\"3902\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ ----","offer_id":17605713601,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ ----","offer_id":20804597249,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Enjoy Your Boobies \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":20804776833,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ ----","offer_id":36595996237,"sku":"","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325203981,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325211917,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Enjoy Your Boobies \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325216589,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ Glitter Tits! - Add some messy Glitter to your bag of tits","offer_id":38325224077,"sku":"","price":19.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Calm your Tits! \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192151957588,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Suck a Bag of Tits! \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192153595988,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"You're the Tits \/ Birthday Box","offer_id":21192156807252,"sku":"","price":19.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/bag-of-tits-3930265.jpg?v=1755879320"},{"product_id":"big-box-of-dicks","title":"BIG BOX OF DICKS!","description":"\u003cp\u003eNow, our new and improved BOX of dicks! With this delectable item you will receive an entire BOX of dicks. Included in the box will be 5 delicious bags of dicks ready to be eaten by your friends or (fr)enemies. That's over 125 individual gummy penises to get the party started. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese will be perfect for any occasion or if you just REALLY need to get the point across. Enjoy!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Big Box of Dicks - 5 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":18805207425,"sku":"","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Giant Box of Dicks -10 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":34451931725,"sku":"","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Quarantine Box of Dicks - 36 Bags of Dicks","offer_id":32039788675156,"sku":"","price":249.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/big-box-of-dicks-4239334.jpg?v=1755879321"},{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks","title":"Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEat a Bag of Dicks (Literally. They’re Delicious.)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ePicture it you open your mail, open a package, and it's... a bag of dicks? There's no return address and you can't figure out who sent it, so you have to through everyone who you ever wronged.. just to have it be your friend who tells you it was them 2 year later. It's the perfect prank. And you can do it to whoever you want today.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSend them a floral bag filled with gummy dicks and a side of “who the hell sent this?” These chewy little bastards are 2.5 inches long (yes, people comment on the size), come in three shockingly tasty flavors, and arrive anonymously—unless you want credit for the prank.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWhether it’s a bachelor party, a coworker’s birthday, or you’re just bored and petty on a Wednesday afternoon, this is your go-to “screw you, but make it sweet.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s in the Bag?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eInside each 5 oz package, you’ll find\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e10 thick, chewy gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein three delightfully bold flavors: red cherry, green apple, and blue raspberry. Each one is about 2.5 inches long and an inch wide at the base (a.k.a. the balls), making them surprisingly satisfying to chew- and weirdly hard to forget.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe whole package comes sealed in a bold floral pouch stamped with the words\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Eat a Bag of Dicks”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eright on the front. It's weirdly classy. Shockingly colorful. And entirely unforgettable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eAnonymous Pranks - messing with your friends and family\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSending a mess to your fr(enemies)... in a funny way\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eBachelorette parties (bonus points if Grandma’s in town)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eBirthday pranks that escalate just enough\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eGroup chat dares\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSecret Santa with no rules\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe friend who’s always “soooo hard to shop for”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWhether you send it anonymously to spark chaos or sign it with pride, the outcome’s the same: confused joy, contagious laughter, and a mental image they’ll never unsee.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ePeople love these things. Not just because they’re hilarious, but because they’re actually good. Like, “I meant to prank my roommate and ended up snacking on one myself” good. Don’t be surprised if your recipient eats the whole bag and still wants to know where it came from.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eAnd yes, we’ve been shipping\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ebags of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003efor years. Real ones know. If you’ve ever searched “send a bag of dicks,” “funny gummy candy,” or “anonymous prank gift,” this is what you were looking for... even if you didn’t know it yet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eNo glitter. No mess. Just a mouthful of mystery and a whole lot of flavor.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSend a bag. Or two. Chaos loves company.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"---- \/ ----","offer_id":39391283533,"sku":"292372447279","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Double the Dicks! A Second Bag for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":39391296333,"sku":"","price":23.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card!","offer_id":39391303565,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Double the Dicks! A Second Bag for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":39391279373,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ ----","offer_id":39391314701,"sku":"","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Double the Dicks! A Second Bag for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":39391319885,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":39391360717,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":39391367309,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ ----","offer_id":39391369741,"sku":"","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday DickHead Card!","offer_id":39391473293,"sku":"","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card","offer_id":39391502605,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card","offer_id":39391510157,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215816013,"sku":"","price":21.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti - Add Penis-Shaped Confetti \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215827149,"sku":"","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Add Glitter for an extra surprise! \/ Happy Birthday Box!","offer_id":40215835277,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/buy-two-bag-of-dicks-get-one-free-3247013.jpg?v=1755878735"},{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks-free-koozie","title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Can Cooler!","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdd a Free Can Cooler to your Bag of Dicks!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Black Koozie","offer_id":40733525773,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Gray Koozie","offer_id":40733525837,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Red Koozie","offer_id":40733525901,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bag of Dicks + Free Keep Calm and Eat a Bag of Dicks Koozie","offer_id":40733525965,"sku":"","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/bag-of-dicks-free-can-cooler-8883041.png?v=1755879238"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-giant-chocolate-dick","title":"Eat a Dick - The Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Dick – The Chocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSolid chocolate. Solid insult. Solid gold prank.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou know what’s better than sending someone flowers? Sending them a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egiant chocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e they have to unwrap, stare at, and decide if they’re gonna bite the tip first or go straight for the base.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat a Dick – Chocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is not subtle. It’s not romantic (unless your romance involves filthy jokes). It’s a big, solid, 4-to-5.5 inch \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made from gluten-free Peruvian cacao, and it shows up in a sleek black box like some luxury jewelry… if the “jewel” was a perfectly molded cocoa cock.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd the best part? It ships \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. No sender info. No return address. Just pure, edible confusion delivered right to their door.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo yeah, if you’ve got a friend, ex, sibling, or Valentine who deserves a big chocolate middle finger, this is it. Smash that \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e button and let the cocoa chaos begin.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Chocolate Penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChocolate Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the perfect edible “F you” for any occasion:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s edible art\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Made from high-quality gluten-free Peruvian cacao, it actually tastes amazing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a visual gut punch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They open the box and immediately regret their life choices.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s versatile\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Works for birthdays, bachelorette parties, Valentine’s Day, revenge gifts, or “just because.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s anonymous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They’ll never know it was you… unless you’re giggling too hard to keep the secret.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImagine this:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey get a package. Looks fancy. They open it expecting fine chocolates or maybe a nice watch. Nope. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egiant chocolate cock\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring them in the face like, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Hey there, champ. Eat me.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey laugh. They take a picture. They send it to three friends. Then they either eat it (because chocolate is chocolate) or put it on display like a weird edible trophy. Either way, you win.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Went There\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Great way to prank your best friend or not-so-best friend, anonymous and hilarious.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Bought it for a friend as a gag gift and it arrived on Valentine’s Day, she opened it in front of her 10-year-old son who won’t stop asking questions.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Sent it to my sister and she absolutely died laughing, she loved it.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Delicious Details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 4 to 5.5 inches, 3 to 4 oz of solid chocolate goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Gluten-free Peruvian cacao – because even insults should taste gourmet\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sleek black box that screams “classy” until you open it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExtras:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Optional upgraded gift box for maximum surprise factor\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous – the mystery is half the fun\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUse Cases:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anonymous prank, birthday\/gag gift, bachelorette party, Valentine’s Day joke, breakup revenge, just because you can\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy It Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause even if they hate you, they can’t hate chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because nothing breaks tension like opening a box to find a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig chocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring back at you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Because this is a prank that’s edible, harmless, and yet deeply personal.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSeriously, your “eat a dick chocolate” moment will live rent-free in their head for years. It’s a conversation starter, a photo op, and a power move all in one shiny cocoa package.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend It. Bite It. Love It.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s the play:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEnter their address.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli aria-level=\"1\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cp role=\"presentation\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSit back and wait for the confused text, the awkward photo, or the phone call that starts with “What the hell, man?”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s that simple. You can send a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig chocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e for less than the price of a boring bouquet, and it’ll get way more laughs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-c363c91c-7fff-eff1-66c2-793662dace9e\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo do it. Make someone’s day. Make them eat a dick.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e A \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate Dick","offer_id":930360131597,"sku":"CHOCOD","price":22.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Nuts About You Box","offer_id":41567798886484,"sku":"NUTSABOUTYOUCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something Fabulous In There Pride Box","offer_id":41567798919252,"sku":"FABULOUSCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regal - Fake Watch Gift Prank","offer_id":42636581765204,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"New Phone Gift Prank","offer_id":42636581797972,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Congratulations!","offer_id":42636581666900,"sku":"CONGRATSCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Happy Birthday Box","offer_id":32160656261204,"sku":"HBDCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Be Mine Box","offer_id":41567798853716,"sku":"BEMINECHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Christmas Box","offer_id":42636581699668,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Don","offer_id":42636581732436,"sku":"THEDONCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Christmas Box","offer_id":41567799017556,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/all-the-dicks-bundle-gummy-dicks-chocolate-dick-and-dick-glitter-bomb-6404789.jpg?v=1764100227"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-christmas-dick","title":"The Chocolate Christmas Dick","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a mouth full of solid chocolate dick.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTired of giving boring gifts like socks, candles, or that dumb bath set nobody uses? Time to level up your holiday game with something they’ll actually remember – \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not some flimsy little novelty candy. We’re talking about a hefty, 5 to 5.5 inch, 4 to 6 oz \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, made with organic ingredients and delivered in a discreet box. Oh, and it has a holiday tagline that reads “Hoe hoe hoe, for the hoe in your life.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, it’s edible. And yes, it will be the star of your Christmas morning, your white elephant exchange, or that family gift swap you always dread.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo if you want to be the MVP of gift giving this year, scroll down and hit \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Your friends, your enemies, and maybe even grandma will thank you… eventually.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Need a Christmas Dick in Your Life\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the funniest stocking stuffer ever\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – No one forgets opening a box to find a giant chocolate cock staring back at them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s actually tasty\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Made with organic ingredients, so your prank can also be delicious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s a conversation starter\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – And by conversation, we mean uncontrollable laughter followed by inappropriate photos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt ships anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – They’ll have no clue who sent it unless you want to own your masterpiece.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re About to Create\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s Christmas morning. The room smells like cinnamon and coffee. Someone picks up a small box from their stocking, opens it, and freezes. The entire room goes silent before erupting in pure chaos.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause inside that box is not a watch. Not a gift card. Not a heartfelt token of love. Nope. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebig Christmas dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made entirely of chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere’s blushing. There’s laughter. Someone shouts “What the hell is wrong with you?” and you just smile because you know exactly what’s wrong, and it’s perfect.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who’ve Gone Full Naughty List\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Used this for a white elephant gift exchange and it by far got the best reaction! Everyone died laughing! It was perfect!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “I sent a Christmas dick to my ex!! He loves chocolate and it just tickles me to think of him eat a chocolate dick. He messaged me and said he wasn’t eating it. I told him to just hold it in his mouth… it would melt 🤣🤣🤣 I love it!!!! I love his reaction!!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “When I told her I sent it she told me it was the greatest thing she’s ever received.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Delicious Details\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 5 to 5.5 inches tall, 4 to 6 oz of solid chocolate\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Rich, organic chocolate goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Discreet box with holiday “Hoe hoe hoe” theme\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous shipping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOrder Options:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e One dick, two dicks, three dicks, four dicks, six dicks for the family, ten dicks for when you’re pranking everyone\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Christmas gag gift, anonymous prank, stocking stuffer, revenge gift, holiday party joke, white elephant surprise\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Gift Works Every Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause everyone loves chocolate, but no one expects it to be shaped like a penis. It’s edible, it’s hilarious, and it’s the one thing they’ll be talking about long after the tree comes down.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven if they pretend to be offended, they’ll probably still take a bite. And when they do, they’ll realize it’s actually good chocolate, which makes your prank even sweeter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBe the Legend of This Year’s Christmas\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, you have the chance to turn a boring holiday gathering into an unforgettable moment of shock, laughter, and maybe a little drooling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Christmas Dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMake this Christmas one for the naughty list.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DicksByMail","offers":[{"title":"Santa Box \/ One Dick!","offer_id":41726325129300,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":41726325162068,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":41726325194836,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42612887519316,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Santa Box \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":41726325293140,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCOLATEDICK-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636622430292,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636622463060,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636622495828,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636622528596,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stocking Box \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636622561364,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636633210964,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636633243732,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636633276500,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636633309268,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Watch Present Prank \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636633342036,"sku":"REGALCHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ One Dick!","offer_id":42636633374804,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-1","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Two Dicks (10% Off)!","offer_id":42636633407572,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-2","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Three Dicks (15% Off)!","offer_id":42636633440340,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-3","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Five Dicks (20% Off)!","offer_id":42636633473108,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-5","price":95.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fake Phone Present Prank \/ Ten Dicks (25% Off)!","offer_id":42636633505876,"sku":"PHONECHOCOD-10","price":179.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-chocolate-christmas-dick-9162712.jpg?v=1763155224"},{"product_id":"bag-of-dicks-dick-confetti","title":"Bag of Dicks + Dick Confetti!","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"209\" data-start=\"138\"\u003eBag of Dicks + Dick Confetti – Because Just Candy Wasn’t Enough\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"336\" data-start=\"211\"\u003eYou could send a sweet card. You could send flowers. Hell, you could even Venmo them 20 bucks. But where’s the fun in that?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"587\" data-start=\"338\"\u003eInstead, imagine this: They tear open a mystery package, out spills a colorful avalanche of \u003cstrong data-end=\"454\" data-start=\"430\"\u003edick-shaped confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e, and right there in the middle is a big ol’ bag of fruity gummy dicks with a note that proudly declares, \u003cstrong data-end=\"585\" data-start=\"560\"\u003e“Eat a Bag of Dicks.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"706\" data-start=\"589\"\u003eIt’s edible, it’s messy, it’s wildly inappropriate, and it’s the exact kind of prank gift that will live in infamy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"858\" data-start=\"708\"\u003eIf you want to send something that’ll have them laughing, swearing, and still finding penis-shaped glitter in their carpet weeks later - this is it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"932\" data-start=\"860\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"930\" data-start=\"860\"\u003eStop overthinking. Send them a Bag of Dicks + Dick Confetti today.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"937\" data-start=\"934\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"969\" data-start=\"939\"\u003eWhy This Works Every Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1137\" data-start=\"971\"\u003eRegular gummy dicks? Hilarious.\u003cbr data-end=\"1005\" data-start=\"1002\"\u003eA bag of gummy dicks \u003cstrong data-end=\"1034\" data-start=\"1026\"\u003eplus\u003c\/strong\u003e hundreds of tiny penis confetti pieces that scatter everywhere like the glitter of shame? Legendary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1175\" data-start=\"1139\"\u003eIt’s the ultimate two-punch combo:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"1344\" data-start=\"1176\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1225\" data-start=\"1176\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1225\" data-start=\"1179\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1198\" data-start=\"1179\"\u003eImmediate laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e when they see the candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1344\" data-start=\"1226\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1344\" data-start=\"1229\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1248\" data-start=\"1229\"\u003eLingering chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e when they realize they’ll be finding confetti penises in their car, purse, or hair for weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1401\" data-start=\"1346\"\u003eThis isn’t just a gag gift - it’s a whole experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1406\" data-start=\"1403\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1477\" data-start=\"1408\"\u003eA Birthday, Breakup, or “Just Because” Gift They’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1513\" data-start=\"1479\"\u003eHere’s how it usually goes down:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1842\" data-start=\"1515\"\u003eThey open the bag. Confetti explodes everywhere. They laugh, choke on their coffee, maybe call you names.\u003cbr data-end=\"1623\" data-start=\"1620\"\u003eThen they actually eat the gummies… and realize they’re not just funny, they’re delicious.\u003cbr data-end=\"1716\" data-start=\"1713\"\u003eFinally, they’re vacuuming their couch a week later and still finding little pink and gold dicks stuck between the cushions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1944\" data-start=\"1844\"\u003eCongratulations - you just gave them a gift and a long-term reminder that you’re a lovable menace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1949\" data-start=\"1946\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2001\" data-start=\"1951\"\u003eReal Reviews From People Who’ve Pulled It Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2357\" data-start=\"2003\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2357\" data-start=\"2005\"\u003e“Made my boss turn 7 shades of red. Perfect!”\u003cbr data-end=\"2053\" data-start=\"2050\"\u003e“I sent them to my brother-in-law and his wife… they ate all of them in 5 minutes. Said they tasted amazing. Great gag gift!”\u003cbr data-end=\"2183\" data-start=\"2180\"\u003e“I love this company and every product! The bag of dicks makes for a great gift and laugh! All my friends have loved their delicious gummies and the surprise every time.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2362\" data-start=\"2359\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2405\" data-start=\"2364\"\u003eWhat’s in the Bag (and on the Floor)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2803\" data-start=\"2407\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2494\" data-start=\"2407\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2494\" data-start=\"2409\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2440\" data-start=\"2409\"\u003eA bag of fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – sweet, chewy, and shaped for maximum awkwardness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2584\" data-start=\"2495\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2584\" data-start=\"2497\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2534\" data-start=\"2497\"\u003eAn “Eat a Bag of Dicks” note card\u003c\/strong\u003e – direct, tasteful, classy. (Okay, not classy.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2662\" data-start=\"2585\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2662\" data-start=\"2587\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2630\" data-start=\"2587\"\u003eA full envelope of dick-shaped confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e – the real MVP of this prank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2724\" data-start=\"2663\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2724\" data-start=\"2665\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2685\" data-start=\"2665\"\u003eOptional add-ons\u003c\/strong\u003e for birthdays or extra prank damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2803\" data-start=\"2725\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2803\" data-start=\"2727\"\u003e100% anonymous shipping so you can sit back and enjoy the chaos from afar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2808\" data-start=\"2805\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2827\" data-start=\"2810\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"3053\" data-start=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2876\" data-start=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2876\" data-start=\"2831\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2844\" data-start=\"2831\"\u003eBirthdays\u003c\/strong\u003e – skip the boring candle set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2926\" data-start=\"2877\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2926\" data-start=\"2879\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2896\" data-start=\"2879\"\u003eRevenge gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e – sweet justice, literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3013\" data-start=\"2927\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3013\" data-start=\"2929\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2962\" data-start=\"2929\"\u003eBachelor\/Bachelorette parties\u003c\/strong\u003e – give the bride or groom something to snack on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3053\" data-start=\"3014\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3053\" data-start=\"3016\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3032\" data-start=\"3016\"\u003ePetty pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e – because you can.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3058\" data-start=\"3055\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3107\" data-start=\"3060\"\u003eHow to Send a Bag of Dicks + Dick Confetti\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"3292\" data-start=\"3109\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3134\" data-start=\"3109\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3134\" data-start=\"3112\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3191\" data-start=\"3135\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3191\" data-start=\"3138\"\u003eType in your victim’s… I mean, recipient’s address.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3241\" data-start=\"3192\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3241\" data-start=\"3195\"\u003eDecide if you want to add extra prank flair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3292\" data-start=\"3242\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3292\" data-start=\"3245\"\u003eShip it anonymously and wait for the fallout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3297\" data-start=\"3294\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3317\" data-start=\"3299\"\u003eThe Aftermath\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3407\" data-start=\"3319\"\u003eThis isn’t the type of gift they throw away and forget about. Nope. You’ve given them:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"3511\" data-start=\"3408\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3441\" data-start=\"3408\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3441\" data-start=\"3410\"\u003eA snack they’ll actually eat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3475\" data-start=\"3442\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3475\" data-start=\"3444\"\u003eA mess they’ll curse you for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3511\" data-start=\"3476\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3511\" data-start=\"3478\"\u003eA story they’ll tell for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3665\" data-start=\"3513\"\u003eBecause honestly, anybody can send a box of chocolates. But only a true friend, sibling, or chaotic genius sends \u003cstrong data-end=\"3662\" data-start=\"3626\"\u003ea bag of dicks AND dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3670\" data-start=\"3667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3870\" data-start=\"3672\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-end=\"3799\" data-start=\"3675\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and send them a gift that’s part delicious treat, part nuclear glitter bomb of penis-shaped joy. \u003c\/strong\u003eThey’ll never see it coming… but they’ll sure as hell remember it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3870\" data-start=\"3672\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"---- \/ -----","offer_id":3969903001613,"sku":"","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday DickHead Card! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903034381,"sku":"","price":27.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903067149,"sku":"","price":27.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday Box! \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903099917,"sku":"","price":29.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"---- \/ Add a Second Bag of Dicks for 1\/2 Off!","offer_id":3969903132685,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday DickHead Card! \/ -----","offer_id":3969903165453,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday (EAT A BAG OF DICKS) Card! \/ -----","offer_id":3969903198221,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday Box! \/ -----","offer_id":3969903230989,"sku":"","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-dicks-dick-confetti-4336620.jpg?v=1755879238"},{"product_id":"eat-shit-chocolate-shit-in-a-box","title":"Eat Shit - Chocolate Shit in a Box","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"263\" data-end=\"305\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"265\" data-end=\"303\"\u003eEat Shit – Chocolate Shit in a Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"368\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"306\" data-end=\"366\"\u003eFinally, a sweet way to tell someone exactly how you feel.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"370\" data-end=\"437\"\u003eSome gifts say “I love you.” This one says “Eat shit.” Literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"439\" data-end=\"701\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"439\" data-end=\"477\"\u003eEat Shit – Chocolate Shit in a Box\u003c\/strong\u003e is a realistic poop-shaped piece of premium milk chocolate, delivered straight to their door in a discreet box. It’s rich. It’s creamy. It’s hilarious. And it’s the perfect edible insult for when words just aren’t enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"703\" data-end=\"900\"\u003eNo boring gift cards. No predictable candy boxes. Just one beautifully molded chocolate turd that makes your point loud and clear… before they bite into it and realize it actually tastes amazing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"902\" data-end=\"1053\"\u003eSo quit sending flowers to people who deserve better (or worse). Click \u003cstrong data-start=\"973\" data-end=\"988\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e and make their day memorable, awkward, and surprisingly sweet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1055\" data-end=\"1058\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1060\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003eWhy You Need to Send a Chocolate Turd\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1104\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1104\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1203\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1141\"\u003eIt’s the ultimate edible insult\u003c\/strong\u003e – Way funnier than a text and way tastier than actual shit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1204\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1236\"\u003eIt’s 100 percent anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e – No return address, no receipt, no way to prove it was you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1300\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1302\" data-end=\"1399\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1302\" data-end=\"1320\"\u003eIt’s delicious\u003c\/strong\u003e – Premium milk chocolate that’s so good, they’ll hate how much they love it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1400\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1437\"\u003eIt works for any petty occasion\u003c\/strong\u003e – Birthdays, breakups, revenge gifts, coworker roasts, or just because.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1513\" data-end=\"1516\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1518\" data-end=\"1548\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1550\" data-end=\"1735\"\u003ePicture this: They get a package. No idea what it is. They open the box slowly. Inside, sitting in the middle like the crown jewel of comedy, is a perfectly molded \u003cstrong data-start=\"1714\" data-end=\"1732\"\u003echocolate shit\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1737\" data-end=\"1955\"\u003eAt first, confusion. Then laughter. Then the moment where they debate whether they should actually eat it. Spoiler – they will. Because it smells like chocolate. It looks like a prank, but tastes like a luxury treat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1957\" data-end=\"2088\"\u003eAnd you? You’re somewhere else, living your best life, knowing you just dropped the funniest, pettiest gift they’ll ever receive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2090\" data-end=\"2093\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2095\" data-end=\"2145\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Went Full Savage\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2147\" data-end=\"2343\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2149\" data-end=\"2343\"\u003e“Excellent service and timing. Always love ordering from Dicks by Mail! Thank you!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2232\" data-end=\"2235\"\u003e“It was best surprise gift yet!!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2270\" data-end=\"2273\"\u003e“Recipient had tears from laughter and had to show everyone else!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2345\" data-end=\"2348\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2350\" data-end=\"2374\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2376\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2452\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2378\" data-end=\"2417\"\u003eOne realistic poop-shaped chocolate\u003c\/strong\u003e made with premium milk chocolate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2453\" data-end=\"2533\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2455\" data-end=\"2533\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2455\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rich, creamy, and completely safe to eat (unlike the real thing)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2534\" data-end=\"2600\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2536\" data-end=\"2600\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2536\" data-end=\"2550\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Discreet plain box with no branding or receipts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2601\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2603\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2603\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships completely anonymously for maximum prank impact\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2673\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2675\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2675\" data-end=\"2691\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Anonymous prank, revenge gift, breakup joke, birthday gag, coworker roast, adult humor gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2787\" data-end=\"2790\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2792\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eWhy This Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2831\" data-end=\"3036\"\u003eBecause “Eat Shit” is one of the most universally understood insults on Earth. It works in every language, every situation, and now – thanks to this chocolate masterpiece – in every gift-giving scenario.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3038\" data-end=\"3304\"\u003eYou can send a chocolate turd to someone you love as a joke, or to someone you “love less” as a little payback. Either way, they’ll remember it. They’ll laugh. They might even post it online, giving you the satisfaction of knowing your gift is now internet famous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3306\" data-end=\"3446\"\u003eAnd the kicker? Even if they think you’re the world’s biggest jerk, they’ll probably still eat it. Because good chocolate wins every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3448\" data-end=\"3451\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3453\" data-end=\"3490\"\u003eSend It. Own It. Laugh About It.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3492\" data-end=\"3714\"\u003eRight now, someone in your life deserves to hear the words “Eat Shit.” But instead of saying it, you could mail it – wrapped in delicious milk chocolate, sitting in a box, ready to be the funniest gift they get all year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3716\" data-end=\"3811\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3722\" data-end=\"3737\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e. Send \u003cstrong data-start=\"3744\" data-end=\"3782\"\u003eEat Shit – Chocolate Shit in a Box\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003cbr data-start=\"3783\" data-end=\"3786\"\u003eWatch the chaos unfold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3716\" data-end=\"3811\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Eat Shit","offer_id":4087999627277,"sku":"ES","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double Shits (Save 10%)","offer_id":42649698631764,"sku":"ES2","price":28.78,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple Shits (Save 20%)","offer_id":42649698664532,"sku":"ES3","price":38.37,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/the-poop-prank-bundle-6034126.jpg?v=1762196781"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-valentines-day-dick","title":"Eat a Dick - Chocolate Dick in Nuts About You","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"197\" data-end=\"250\"\u003eEat a Dick - Chocolate Dick in Nuts About You\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"540\"\u003eValentine’s Day is full of roses, teddy bears, and “I love you” cards. Boring. Predictable. Lame. If you want to truly surprise someone, skip the clichés and give them the one gift they’ll never forget - a solid chocolate penis tucked inside a Valentine’s Day “Nuts About You” gift box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"542\" data-end=\"885\"\u003eYep. You read that right. A premium gluten free Peruvian cacao cock, lovingly molded for maximum comedic effect, sitting pretty in a pink pixel-heart-themed box. Whether it’s for your partner, your gal pal, your ex, or just someone who deserves a mouthful of rich chocolate justice, this is the ultimate gag gift with actual gourmet quality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"1044\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"1042\"\u003eOrder now, ship it 100 percent anonymously, and watch the confusion turn into laughter (and possibly a suspiciously long pause before that first bite).\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1046\" data-end=\"1049\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003eWhy You Need This in Your Life\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1088\" data-end=\"1369\"\u003eMost Valentine’s gifts are instantly forgettable. This? Not a chance. No one is tossing this in a drawer. No one is leaving it on the table without a double take. This is the kind of present that sparks stories - the “remember when” tales that live on in friend groups for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1371\" data-end=\"1623\"\u003eIt’s not just a joke. This chocolate dick is made from legit, gluten free Peruvian cacao, so even if they’re shocked, they’re also getting a seriously good piece of candy. You’re not just sending laughs. You’re sending laughs that melt in your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1625\" data-end=\"1628\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1630\" data-end=\"1672\"\u003eHow It Goes Down (Pun Fully Intended)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1674\" data-end=\"1858\"\u003ePicture this: they see the Valentine’s Day box. They think, “Aww, how sweet.” They open it. Boom. There it is. A proud, 4 to 5.5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce chocolate penis staring them down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1860\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003eThe reaction is always the same - stunned silence, immediate laughter, and then a wave of naughty jokes that last the whole night. Some people eat it right away. Some keep it as a trophy. Some post it online and let the internet do its thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2106\" data-end=\"2109\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2111\" data-end=\"2154\"\u003eStraight From the Legends Who Sent It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2156\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2156\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2427\"\u003e“I never buy a Valentine’s present for my lover but when I scrolled past this on IG, it was a MUST BUY. He came home grumpy so I gave it to him early. He was embarrassed, wouldn’t let me take photos, but I didn’t stop making every naughty joke possible and still do!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2428\" data-end=\"2569\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2430\" data-end=\"2569\"\u003e“This was the perfect Valentine gift for my friend!! She laughed so much when she opened it. Best part - the chocolate is really good!!!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2570\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2572\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e“Arrived SO quickly and looked exactly like the photos. My best friend still talks about it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2669\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2674\" data-end=\"2690\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2692\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2692\" data-end=\"2746\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2694\" data-end=\"2746\"\u003eValentine’s Day gifts that actually get remembered\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2747\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2749\" data-end=\"2785\"\u003eGalentine’s pranks between besties\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2786\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2788\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eBreakup revenge with a sweet aftertaste\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"2857\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2832\" data-end=\"2857\"\u003eAnonymous edible pranks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2858\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2860\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003eAdult novelty gifts that don’t suck (but might get sucked on)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2925\" data-end=\"2928\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2930\" data-end=\"2961\"\u003eWhat You’re Really Sending\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2963\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2963\" data-end=\"3017\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2965\" data-end=\"3017\"\u003eA Valentine’s Day pixel-heart-themed pink gift box\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3018\" data-end=\"3077\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3020\" data-end=\"3077\"\u003eA solid chocolate penis, 4 to 5.5 inches, 3 to 4 ounces\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3078\" data-end=\"3142\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3142\"\u003eMade from gluten free Peruvian cacao for rich, smooth flavor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3143\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3145\" data-end=\"3196\"\u003eShips 100 percent anonymously for maximum mystery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3201\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3203\" data-end=\"3233\"\u003eHow to Send It Like a Pro\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3235\" data-end=\"3423\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3235\" data-end=\"3259\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3238\" data-end=\"3259\"\u003eAdd it to your cart\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3260\" data-end=\"3333\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3263\" data-end=\"3333\"\u003eChoose where it’s going (direct to them or to you for hand delivery)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3334\" data-end=\"3423\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3337\" data-end=\"3423\"\u003eSit back and prepare yourself for the texts, calls, or Instagram stories that follow\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3425\" data-end=\"3428\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3430\" data-end=\"3446\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3448\" data-end=\"3734\"\u003eThe Eat a Dick - Chocolate Dick in Nuts About You gift is more than just candy. It’s comedy, shock value, and a gourmet treat all rolled into one box. It’s the Valentine’s Day present for people who hate boring presents. It’s the ultimate edible “gotcha” for friends, lovers, or exes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3736\" data-end=\"3863\"\u003eForget the flowers. Forget the jewelry. If you want something unforgettable, sweet, and just a little scandalous, this is it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3865\" data-end=\"3917\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3865\" data-end=\"3915\"\u003eSend the dick. Make the memory. Laugh forever.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3972\" data-start=\"3920\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21425264001108,"sku":"NUTSCHOCODICK","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-dark-chocolate-cock-eat-a-dick-1390259.jpg?v=1772056670"},{"product_id":"the-chocolate-dick-bag-of-dicks-combo","title":"The Chocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo!","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Chocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDouble the dicks. Double the laughs. Double the deliciously inappropriate chaos.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"662\" data-start=\"379\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to send the perfect “I adore you but also go eat a dick” gift, you’ve just found it. \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(255, 42, 0);\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-end=\"529\" data-start=\"490\"\u003eChocolate Dick + Bag of Dicks Combo\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e is the ultimate edible prank package – a classy-meets-crass masterpiece that delivers both shock value and snack value in one box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"935\" data-start=\"664\"\u003eInside, you’ll find a hefty 5 inch, 4 ounce \u003cstrong data-end=\"733\" data-start=\"708\"\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao, paired with a bag of fruity, chewy gummy dicks. It’s basically the fine wine and cheese board of inappropriate gifts… only much funnier and way less pretentious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1176\" data-start=\"937\"\u003eIt ships 100 percent anonymously in a plain, discreet box, so you can unleash your edible chaos without ever getting caught. Perfect for birthdays, white elephant exchanges, breakups, office parties, or the sweet, sweet taste of revenge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1258\" data-start=\"1178\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-end=\"1199\" data-start=\"1184\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e right now. Send the combo. Sit back. Wait for the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1263\" data-start=\"1260\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1309\" data-start=\"1265\"\u003eWhy This Combo is the King of Gag Gifts\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1311\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1311\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1395\" data-start=\"1313\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1335\" data-start=\"1313\"\u003eDouble the trouble\u003c\/strong\u003e – One big chocolate cock plus a whole bag of gummy dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1522\" data-start=\"1396\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1522\" data-start=\"1398\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1416\" data-start=\"1398\"\u003eActually tasty\u003c\/strong\u003e – Gourmet chocolate that melts in your mouth and fruity gummies that don’t taste like cheap joke candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1523\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1613\" data-start=\"1525\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1549\" data-start=\"1525\"\u003eCompletely anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e – No sender info, no receipt, no way to trace it back to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1614\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1705\" data-start=\"1616\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"1658\" data-start=\"1616\"\u003ePerfect for any inappropriate occasion\u003c\/strong\u003e – From birthday gag gifts to revenge pranks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1710\" data-start=\"1707\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1742\" data-start=\"1712\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1932\" data-start=\"1744\"\u003ePicture this. They open the box, expecting socks or maybe a boring gift card. Instead – boom – a \u003cstrong data-end=\"1879\" data-start=\"1841\"\u003eperfectly sculpted chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e staring them down like it knows all their secrets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2157\" data-start=\"1934\"\u003eThen, just when they think they’ve seen it all, they find the bag of gummy dicks. Bright, colorful, and unapologetically phallic. Now it’s laughter, blushing, maybe a few phone pics that hit the group chat within seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2337\" data-start=\"2159\"\u003eThey either eat it right away or display it on the counter like a weird edible trophy. Either way, they’ll never forget the moment they got your chocolate and candy dick combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2342\" data-start=\"2339\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2385\" data-start=\"2344\"\u003eReal Reviews from Real Prank Legends\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2721\" data-start=\"2387\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2721\" data-start=\"2389\"\u003e“I ordered this for Father’s Day as a joke to my ex. He thought it was absolutely hilarious and said the candy was great quality. Lol. He said to rate this 5 stars.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2557\" data-start=\"2554\"\u003e“It’s was delicious and solid… The chocolate was so rich I couldn’t stop eating it.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2646\" data-start=\"2643\"\u003e“Perfect for white elephant holiday gift. Gummies were actually tasty!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2726\" data-start=\"2723\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2752\" data-start=\"2728\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"2754\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2840\" data-start=\"2754\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2840\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2801\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003eOne 5 inch, 4 ounce solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2898\" data-start=\"2841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2898\" data-start=\"2843\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2869\" data-start=\"2843\"\u003eOne bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e in multiple fruity flavors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2956\" data-start=\"2899\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2956\" data-start=\"2901\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2913\" data-start=\"2901\"\u003eFlavors:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rich chocolate, plus sweet chewy gummies\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3022\" data-start=\"2957\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3022\" data-start=\"2959\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2973\" data-start=\"2959\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Discreet plain box with no branding or receipt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3070\" data-start=\"3023\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3070\" data-start=\"3025\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3038\" data-start=\"3025\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"3071\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3205\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3089\" data-start=\"3073\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday gag gift, anonymous prank, white elephant gift, breakup joke, office party surprise, edible revenge gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3210\" data-start=\"3207\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3247\" data-start=\"3212\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3506\" data-start=\"3249\"\u003eBecause it’s not just one joke gift – it’s two. They get the big chocolate shock factor, and then the gummy follow-up that keeps the laughter going. Even people who act fake-offended will sneak a taste, because good chocolate and gummies are irresistible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3719\" data-start=\"3508\"\u003ePlus, it’s the kind of gift that gets talked about for weeks. It pops up in group chats. It gets a mention in awkward family conversations. It might even make someone think twice before messing with you again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3724\" data-start=\"3721\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3763\" data-start=\"3726\"\u003eSend the Combo. Make the Memory.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3936\" data-start=\"3765\"\u003eThis isn’t the time for half measures. Don’t just send a bag of dicks. Don’t just send a chocolate penis. Send both in one glorious, edible, unforgettable prank package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"4042\" data-start=\"3938\"\u003eHit \u003cstrong data-end=\"3957\" data-start=\"3942\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now. Be the reason someone says, “You won’t believe what I got in the mail today.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21880891670612,"sku":"","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-chocolate-dick-bag-of-dicks-combo-3219535.jpg?v=1755879211"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-valentines-day","title":"Be Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"100\" data-end=\"185\"\u003eBe Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick: The Valentine’s Day Gift They’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"187\" data-end=\"268\"\u003eRoses are red, violets are blue, here’s a chocolate dick… now choke on it, boo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"270\" data-end=\"595\"\u003eIf you’re tired of boring Valentine’s Day gifts, it’s time to level up from heart-shaped boxes and cheap teddy bears. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"392\" data-end=\"426\"\u003eBe Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e box is the ultimate blend of romance, roast, and ridiculousness. It’s sweet. It’s offensive. And it’s guaranteed to get a bigger reaction than any bouquet ever could.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"597\" data-end=\"789\"\u003eWhether you’re playing the flirty lover, the sarcastic friend, or the petty ex with a wicked sense of humor, this solid chocolate penis is your ticket to an unforgettable Valentine’s moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"791\" data-end=\"849\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"791\" data-end=\"847\"\u003eOrder now. Ship anonymously. Watch the chaos unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"851\" data-end=\"854\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"856\" data-end=\"906\"\u003eWhy This Chocolate Dick Beats Flowers Any Day\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"1034\"\u003eThink about it, flowers die in a week. This chocolate dick? It gets devoured in minutes… and lives forever in their memory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1036\" data-end=\"1091\"\u003eIt’s more than just candy. It’s a statement. It says:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1143\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1094\" data-end=\"1143\"\u003e“I like you… but I also like messing with you.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1144\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1146\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003e“I’m not afraid to make Valentine’s Day weird.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1196\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1198\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003e“Here’s a penis. You’re welcome.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1235\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003eMade from organic ingredients, this 4 to 5.5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce solid chocolate masterpiece is handcrafted to perfection. It’s delicious, inappropriate, and wrapped in a cute pink pixel-heart Valentine’s box, the perfect disguise for what’s inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1491\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1493\" data-end=\"1542\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Have No Regrets\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1544\" data-end=\"1808\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1546\" data-end=\"1808\"\u003e“My friend was shocked and pleased. Her mother, who was there when she opened it, is forever disappointed in my choices! Worth every penny.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1686\" data-end=\"1689\"\u003e“Excellent gift.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1708\" data-end=\"1711\"\u003e“Little did I know my friend would find this a choking hazard while he gobbled on it!!!! LOL”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1810\" data-end=\"1813\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1815\" data-end=\"1832\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1834\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1834\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1836\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003eValentine’s Day pranks that walk the line between love and chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1904\" data-end=\"1974\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1974\"\u003eRomantic gag gifts for partners who don’t take life too seriously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1975\" data-end=\"2060\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1977\" data-end=\"2060\"\u003eGalentine’s Day surprises for the girlfriends who deserve both candy and a laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2061\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2063\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003eBreakup revenge, sweet, petty, and oh-so satisfying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2119\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003eAnyone you love enough to offend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2161\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2163\" data-end=\"2199\"\u003eHow It Goes Down (Pun Intended)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2201\" data-end=\"2499\"\u003ePicture this: your Valentine gets a delivery. The packaging is cute, sweet, and oh-so Valentine’s. They’re expecting chocolates, maybe a cute card. They open the box… and boom. Solid chocolate penis. The room goes silent for a second, then there’s laughter, disbelief, and probably a few blushes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2501\" data-end=\"2635\"\u003eThey either eat it immediately or take a photo and post it online for the world to see. Either way, you’ve just won Valentine’s Day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2637\" data-end=\"2640\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2642\" data-end=\"2659\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2661\" data-end=\"2972\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2661\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2734\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2692\"\u003eOne solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e - 4 to 5.5 inches of sweet, edible art.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2735\" data-end=\"2800\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2737\" data-end=\"2800\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2737\" data-end=\"2760\"\u003eOrganic ingredients\u003c\/strong\u003e - because even jokes deserve quality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2801\" data-end=\"2888\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2888\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2833\"\u003eCute Valentine’s packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e - a pink pixel-heart box hiding the surprise inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2889\" data-end=\"2972\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2891\" data-end=\"2972\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2891\" data-end=\"2912\"\u003eDiscreet shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - they’ll never know it was you… unless you want them to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2974\" data-end=\"2977\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2979\" data-end=\"2997\"\u003eThe Game Plan\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2999\" data-end=\"3235\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2999\" data-end=\"3042\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3002\" data-end=\"3042\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3002\" data-end=\"3017\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e - commit to the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3043\" data-end=\"3101\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3101\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3066\"\u003eShip anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - plausible deniability is sexy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3102\" data-end=\"3163\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3105\" data-end=\"3163\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3105\" data-end=\"3130\"\u003eWait for the reaction\u003c\/strong\u003e - you’ll know when it happens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3164\" data-end=\"3235\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3167\" data-end=\"3235\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3167\" data-end=\"3190\"\u003eBask in your genius\u003c\/strong\u003e - because you just nailed Valentine’s Day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3237\" data-end=\"3240\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3242\" data-end=\"3303\"\u003eFinal Word: This is How You Make February 14th Legendary\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3305\" data-end=\"3566\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3309\" data-end=\"3343\"\u003eBe Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e is not your average Valentine’s gift. It’s a mix of sugar, sass, and pure comedic gold. Whether you’re looking to make your partner laugh, your friends scream, or your ex question all their life choices, this is the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3568\" data-end=\"3679\"\u003eSo forget the predictable flowers and candy hearts. This year, send them something they’ll actually remember.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3681\" data-end=\"3772\"\u003e💘 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3684\" data-end=\"3770\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and make Valentine’s Day awkward in the best way possible.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31781682184276,"sku":"BEMINECHOCODICK","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-a-d-the-chocolate-d-6572732.jpg?v=1772056670"},{"product_id":"eat-a-chocolate-dick-the-happy-birthday-box","title":"Eat a Chocolate Dick - The Happy Birthday Box","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"248\" data-end=\"301\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"250\" data-end=\"299\"\u003eEat a Chocolate Dick – The Happy Birthday Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"393\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"302\" data-end=\"391\"\u003eBecause nothing says “Happy Birthday” like unwrapping a big, beautiful chocolate penis.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"395\" data-end=\"669\"\u003eForget boring birthday cards, overpriced flowers, and gift cards that will sit in a drawer for six months. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"506\" data-end=\"551\"\u003eEat a Chocolate Dick – Happy Birthday Box\u003c\/strong\u003e is the birthday gift that turns a normal celebration into a laugh-until-you-cry story that will get told for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"671\" data-end=\"974\"\u003eInside this innocent-looking Happy Birthday-themed box is a 4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce \u003cstrong data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"782\"\u003esolid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from rich, gluten free Peruvian cacao. It’s perfectly molded, hilariously inappropriate, and ships 100 percent anonymously. They won’t know whether to laugh, blush, or take a big bite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"976\" data-end=\"1167\"\u003eIf you’re going to say “Happy Birthday,” you might as well say it with chocolate… and a giant dick. Click \u003cstrong data-start=\"1082\" data-end=\"1097\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now and make sure this year’s present is the one they never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1174\" data-end=\"1213\"\u003eWhy This Gift Is a Birthday Legend\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1237\"\u003eThe shock factor\u003c\/strong\u003e – They’ll never expect to unwrap a chocolate cock.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1390\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1315\"\u003eActually delicious\u003c\/strong\u003e – Made with high-quality Peruvian cacao that tastes as good as it looks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1391\" data-end=\"1481\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1393\" data-end=\"1481\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1393\" data-end=\"1417\"\u003eCompletely anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e – You stay innocent while they try to figure out who sent it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1482\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1617\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1528\"\u003ePerfect for adults who love a good laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e – Friends, siblings, partners, or that one cousin who’s a little too into crude humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1619\" data-end=\"1622\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1624\" data-end=\"1654\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1656\" data-end=\"1877\"\u003eIt’s their birthday. Everyone’s gathered around. They open the bright Happy Birthday box, expecting something sweet and wholesome. And technically, they get it. It’s sweet. It’s chocolate. It’s just… shaped like a dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1879\" data-end=\"2111\"\u003eLaughter breaks out. Phones come out. Instagram stories go up. And while everyone is laughing at the perfect detail on their new edible friend, you’re somewhere else, smug and satisfied, knowing you nailed the gift game this year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2113\" data-end=\"2116\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2118\" data-end=\"2165\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Pulled It Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2167\" data-end=\"2524\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2169\" data-end=\"2524\"\u003e“The recipient LOVED this gift. The level of detail was spot on.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2234\" data-end=\"2237\"\u003e“Sent this to my husband’s twin brother who enjoyed the prank and the chocolate dick.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2325\" data-end=\"2328\"\u003e“Sent to my sister for her birthday. A solid 2 weeks went by without a word being said. Finally asked her if she'd received anything weird in the mail recently. She ate it with peanut butter.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2526\" data-end=\"2529\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2531\" data-end=\"2555\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2944\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2557\" data-end=\"2653\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2559\" data-end=\"2653\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2559\" data-end=\"2614\"\u003eOne 4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce solid chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e made from gluten free Peruvian cacao\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2697\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2656\" data-end=\"2697\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2656\" data-end=\"2670\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday-themed gift box\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2698\" data-end=\"2763\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2700\" data-end=\"2763\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2700\" data-end=\"2721\"\u003eOptional add-ons:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday card and gift box presentation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2764\" data-end=\"2810\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2766\" data-end=\"2810\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2766\" data-end=\"2779\"\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships completely anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2811\" data-end=\"2944\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2813\" data-end=\"2944\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2813\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Birthday gag gift, funny edible surprise, prank between friends, anonymous joke, adult party gift, breakup laugh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2946\" data-end=\"2949\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2951\" data-end=\"2986\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2988\" data-end=\"3210\"\u003eBecause birthdays are about creating moments, and nothing creates a moment like unwrapping a perfectly molded chocolate cock in front of your friends. It’s part gag gift, part gourmet treat, and all-around unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3212\" data-end=\"3508\"\u003eThey might laugh, they might blush, they might question your friendship. But at the end of the day, they’ll probably still eat it – because it’s damn good chocolate. And long after the last bite is gone, they’ll still be telling people about “that time I got a chocolate penis for my birthday.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3510\" data-end=\"3513\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3515\" data-end=\"3565\"\u003eBe the Best (or Worst) Gift Giver of the Year\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3567\" data-end=\"3737\"\u003eIf you want to give them something they’ll actually remember, this is it. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"3645\" data-end=\"3678\"\u003eHappy Birthday Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e is funny, delicious, and just the right amount of wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3739\" data-end=\"3939\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"3745\" data-end=\"3760\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e now. Ship it straight to their door.\u003cbr data-start=\"3797\" data-end=\"3800\"\u003eAnd enjoy knowing you just made their birthday 100 times better… or worse, depending on how they feel about eating dick-shaped chocolate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3739\" data-end=\"3939\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32160726941780,"sku":"HBD","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/eat-a-chocolate-dick-the-happy-birthday-box-5677511.jpg?v=1755879092"},{"product_id":"eat-my-ass-chocolate-buttholes-a-valentines-treat","title":"Eat Ass Chocolate Buttholes - A Sweet Treat","description":"\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat Ass Chocolate Buttholes – A Sweet Treat\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause sometimes the best way to say “I love you” is with a box of edible asses.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMove over heart-shaped chocolates, there’s a new Valentine’s Day MVP in town – \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat Ass Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. These handcrafted milk chocolate masterpieces are molded into the most realistic little starfish you’ve ever seen. They’re sweet, cheeky, and guaranteed to get the kind of reaction no boring candy box could ever pull off.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou don’t just give these as a gift. You make a statement. That statement? “Here’s some sweet ass, literally.” And the best part – it ships in a discreet box, 100 percent anonymous, so your friend, lover, or mortal enemy won’t know whether to laugh, blush, or eat them immediately.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo quit being predictable. Forget roses, forget cards. Click \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and send someone the gift of chocolate buttholes today.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Absolutely Need to Gift Chocolate Assholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the funniest edible gift ever\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – The shock factor alone is worth the price.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s actually delicious\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Rich, creamy milk chocolate that melts in your mouth like… well, you get the idea.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s perfect for every dirty-minded occasion\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – Valentine’s Day, birthdays, bachelorette parties, or “just because.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt ships anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – You can send a box of sweet assholes and take the secret to your grave.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePicture it: Valentine’s Day morning. They open a discreet little box. Inside? Not truffles. Not caramel clusters. Nope – a dozen perfect little \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003echocolate buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e staring up at them like a naughty surprise from Cupid himself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey laugh. They gasp. They grab their phone to send a pic to their friends. And then, after the laughter dies down, they take a bite… and realize these are actually \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eamazing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Rich, velvety chocolate that melts over their tongue in the most sinful way possible.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd just like that, you’ve taken gift-giving from “meh” to “memorable” in 0.5 seconds.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Aren’t Afraid to Eat Ass\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Absolute Valentines Day hit! Boyfriend got a good laugh and ate some good chocolate starfish 🤣”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “These were great! It was a gift to a friend of mine – who has received some of your other items as well! – and she loved it. Also said the chocolate was excellent. Thanks for being awesome!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Eat my ass chocolate buttholes, where do I even start? Is a sweet treat indeed. These decadent chocolate buttholes effortlessly melt all over your mouth and tongue in the creamiest of ways as you devour them. Very little in life will satisfy you as much as these butt holes can. Do yourself a favor and gift that special man in your life some of these!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted milk chocolate buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e made with creamy, high-quality ingredients\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRealistic detail\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that makes them hilariously lifelike\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sweet, rich, melt-in-your-mouth goodness\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Discreet box with no branding or receipts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Valentine’s Day gift, birthday gag, anonymous prank, bachelor or bachelorette party, edible joke, funny surprise for friends or partners\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Works Every Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause nobody forgets the moment they’re handed a box of edible assholes. It’s the perfect mix of dirty humor and actual gourmet candy. It’s a conversation starter, a photo-worthy moment, and a delicious snack all rolled into one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven the people who act fake-offended will try one. And when they do, they’ll find out these aren’t just a gag – they’re seriously good chocolate.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend Sweet Ass Today\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, there’s someone in your life who could use a laugh, a shock, and maybe a mouthful of milk chocolate butthole. You know exactly who they are.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClick  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Send \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEat Ass Chocolate Buttholes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Make them smile, make them blush, and give them the sweetest ass they’ve ever had.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DicksByMail","offers":[{"title":"One Box \/ Standard","offer_id":41815492427860,"sku":"EMA","price":17.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One Box \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":41815492460628,"sku":"EMA,LIVEFASTSLEEVE","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double (10% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846793300,"sku":"EMA-2","price":31.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double (10% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879846826068,"sku":"EMA-2,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-2","price":32.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple (20% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846858836,"sku":"EMA-3","price":41.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple (20% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879846891604,"sku":"EMA-3,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-3","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five (25% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846924372,"sku":"EMA-5","price":65.59,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five (25% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879846957140,"sku":"EMA-5,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-5","price":67.46,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten (30% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Standard","offer_id":46879846989908,"sku":"EMA-10","price":122.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten (30% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast Box Sleeve","offer_id":46879847022676,"sku":"EMA-10,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-10","price":125.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-ass-chocolate-i-thought-you-could-use-some-dick-gummies-6008730.jpg?v=1755878736"},{"product_id":"bach-sh-t-crazy-bachelorette-chocolate-dick-box","title":"Bach Sh*t Crazy - Bachelorette Chocolate Dick Box","description":"\u003ch2 class=\"product_name title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBach Sh*t Crazy - Bachelorette Chocolate Dick Box\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"237\" data-end=\"690\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"237\" data-end=\"351\"\u003eYou know what makes a bachelorette party go from “cute champagne brunch” to “holy sh*t, did that just happen?”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e A big ol’ chocolate dick. And not just any chocolate dick – this one’s five inches of handcrafted, melt-in-your-mouth ridiculousness that will have every bridesmaid clutching her pearls while laughing until she cries. This is not your average edible. This is the kind of gift that gets remembered, photographed, and maybe even worshipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"692\" data-end=\"735\"\u003eThe Sweetest Way to Say “Let’s Get Wild”\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"737\" data-end=\"1226\"\u003eBachelorette parties are supposed to be over-the-top, and this chocolate masterpiece is the perfect icebreaker. It’s part shock factor, part “oh my God, taste this” deliciousness. Made from hand-ground beans and rich melted chocolate in sunny Southern California, this beauty is molded to look… well, very realistic. It comes tucked inside a cheeky bachelorette-themed box, ready to be pulled out (pun intended) at the exact right moment to make the bride blush and the whole room lose it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1228\" data-end=\"1351\"\u003eIf you’ve been searching for the ultimate edible gag gift that also tastes like actual gourmet chocolate – you’ve found it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1358\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003eWhy You Need This in Your Party Arsenal\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1633\"\u003eYou could show up to the party with another boring bottle of wine. Or you could walk in holding a solid chocolate penis that’s about to steal the show. Your choice. One makes you the forgettable guest. The other makes you a legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1635\" data-end=\"1898\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1635\" data-end=\"1688\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1637\" data-end=\"1688\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1637\" data-end=\"1661\"\u003eShock and awe factor\u003c\/strong\u003e – no one is expecting this\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1689\" data-end=\"1768\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1691\" data-end=\"1768\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1691\" data-end=\"1718\"\u003eActually tastes amazing\u003c\/strong\u003e – because prank gifts should be edible, not trash\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1769\" data-end=\"1827\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1771\" data-end=\"1827\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1771\" data-end=\"1792\"\u003eDiscreet shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e – so the mailman doesn’t judge you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1828\" data-end=\"1898\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1830\" data-end=\"1898\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1830\" data-end=\"1866\"\u003ePerfect for any wild celebration\u003c\/strong\u003e – not just bachelorette parties\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1900\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1905\" data-end=\"1935\"\u003eA Scene Worthy of Storytime\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"2286\"\u003ePicture it: The bride-to-be is sitting in her glittery sash and tiara, slowly unwrapping her mysterious gift. She opens the box, sees what’s inside, and immediately bursts into laughter (and maybe turns a little red). The maid of honor is doubled over. Someone is taking a video. That video will absolutely be played at the wedding rehearsal dinner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2288\" data-end=\"2441\"\u003eOne customer put it best: \u003cem data-start=\"2314\" data-end=\"2441\"\u003e“This chocolate dick made the night. Half the girls were screaming, the other half were eating it. Best party purchase ever.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2443\" data-end=\"2446\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2448\" data-end=\"2468\"\u003eThe Dirty Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2470\" data-end=\"2694\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2470\" data-end=\"2500\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2472\" data-end=\"2500\"\u003e5 inch solid chocolate penis\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2501\" data-end=\"2574\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2503\" data-end=\"2574\"\u003eMade from hand-ground beans and melted chocolate in Southern California\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2575\" data-end=\"2619\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2577\" data-end=\"2619\"\u003eComes in a playful bachelorette-themed box\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2620\" data-end=\"2644\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2622\" data-end=\"2644\"\u003eShips 100% anonymously\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2645\" data-end=\"2694\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2647\" data-end=\"2694\"\u003eGourmet taste with a wildly inappropriate twist\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2696\" data-end=\"2699\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2701\" data-end=\"2713\"\u003eYour Move\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2715\" data-end=\"2986\"\u003eYou’re not here to play it safe. You’re here to bring the chaos, the laughter, and the unforgettable memories. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"2883\"\u003eBach Sh*t Crazy - Bachelorette Chocolate Dick Box\u003c\/strong\u003e is the perfect mix of naughty and nice, making it the kind of gift people will talk about for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2988\" data-end=\"3149\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2988\" data-end=\"3001\"\u003eOrder now\u003c\/strong\u003e and make sure the party you’re going to isn’t just another bachelorette… it’s \u003cem data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3085\"\u003ethe\u003c\/em\u003e bachelorette everyone still talks about at the 10-year reunion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2988\" data-end=\"3149\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41408042598484,"sku":"BACHCHOC24","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bach-sht-crazy-bachelorette-chocolate-dick-box-4894674.png?v=1755878861"},{"product_id":"bag-of-ds","title":"Bag Of Gummy Candy D's","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf you’re in the market to anonymously send a bag of 🍆 shaped gummy treats, have we got good news for you!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you are sending these to a friend, spouse, or frenemy our candy bag will be sure to confuse them and have the guessing who it was for months. Even if you're just enjoying a handful for yourself, our gummy bags are a tasty treat.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat these gummies lack in size, they make up for in spirit! Order yours now!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSending a bag of gummies to a friend or family member can be a hilariously cheeky and unexpected way to add some laughter to their day. Whether it's a close friend with a playful sense of humor or a family member who appreciates lighthearted pranks, this unusual gesture is sure to bring a smile to their face. The gummies, often made with colorful and chewy candy, offer a combination of amusement and deliciousness. It's a memorable way to let someone know that you're thinking of them and want to inject a little mischievous fun into their life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGive it a shot and see how delicious these little treats really are!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Regular \/ One Bag","offer_id":41903085387860,"sku":"BOD","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regular \/ Double em! (10% off)","offer_id":41903085420628,"sku":"2XBOD","price":28.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regular \/ Three Bags (20% off)","offer_id":41903085453396,"sku":"3XBOD","price":38.4,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regular \/ Five! (30% off)","offer_id":41903085486164,"sku":"5XBOD","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Regular \/ Ten?! (40% off)","offer_id":41903085518932,"sku":"10XBOD","price":96.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Thought You Could Use Some D \/ One Bag","offer_id":42002303516756,"sku":"LOVEBOD-1","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Thought You Could Use Some D \/ Double em! (10% off)","offer_id":42002303615060,"sku":"LOVEBOD-2","price":28.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Thought You Could Use Some D \/ Three Bags (20% off)","offer_id":42002303713364,"sku":"LOVEBOD-3","price":38.4,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Thought You Could Use Some D \/ Five! (30% off)","offer_id":42002303811668,"sku":"LOVEBOD-5","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Thought You Could Use Some D \/ Ten?! (40% off)","offer_id":42002303909972,"sku":"LOVEBOD-10","price":96.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something I Know You'll Love in Here \/ One Bag","offer_id":42002303549524,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-1","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something I Know You'll Love in Here \/ Double em! (10% off)","offer_id":42002303647828,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-2","price":28.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something I Know You'll Love in Here \/ Three Bags (20% off)","offer_id":42002303746132,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-3","price":38.4,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something I Know You'll Love in Here \/ Five! (30% off)","offer_id":42002303844436,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-5","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"There's Something I Know You'll Love in Here \/ Ten?! (40% off)","offer_id":42002303942740,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-10","price":96.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday - Eat a Bag of D's \/ One Bag","offer_id":42002303582292,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-1","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday - Eat a Bag of D's \/ Double em! (10% off)","offer_id":42002303680596,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-2","price":28.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday - Eat a Bag of D's \/ Three Bags (20% off)","offer_id":42002303778900,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-3","price":38.4,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday - Eat a Bag of D's \/ Five! (30% off)","offer_id":42002303877204,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-5","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday - Eat a Bag of D's \/ Ten?! (40% off)","offer_id":42002303975508,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-10","price":96.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas Bag of D's \/ One Bag","offer_id":42605256507476,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-1","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Christmas Bag of D's \/ Double em! (10% off)","offer_id":42605256540244,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-2","price":28.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Christmas Bag of D's \/ Three Bags (20% off)","offer_id":42605256573012,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-3","price":38.4,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Christmas Bag of D's \/ Five! (30% off)","offer_id":42605256605780,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-5","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Christmas Bag of D's \/ Ten?! (40% off)","offer_id":42605256638548,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-10","price":96.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-candy-ds-8839301.jpg?v=1755878851"},{"product_id":"eat-a-d-the-chocolate-d","title":"Eat a D - The Chocolate D","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"208\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D: Because Sometimes Words Aren’t Enough\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"210\" data-end=\"397\"\u003eSome people deserve a thank you. Others deserve a hug. But then there are the \u003cem data-start=\"288\" data-end=\"301\"\u003especial few\u003c\/em\u003e who deserve exactly one thing - a big, thick, 5.5 inch chocolate dick right in their mailbox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"399\" data-end=\"648\"\u003eMeet \u003cstrong data-start=\"404\" data-end=\"433\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D\u003c\/strong\u003e. It’s a solid hunk of 6 to 8 ounces of organic chocolate molded into the most unapologetically hilarious shape on the planet. This isn’t some half-assed “haha” gift. This is the gag gift equivalent of a mic drop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"650\" data-end=\"772\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to tell someone to “eat a dick” but also give them dessert, congratulations - your search is over.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is a perfect gift for every occasion! Birthday? Have some D. Christmas? Have Some D! April Fools? Have Some D. Valentines? DEFINITELY have some D. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"863\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"861\"\u003eOrder now, ship it anonymously, and watch the awkward-yet-hilarious fallout unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"868\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"870\" data-end=\"910\"\u003eWhy This Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"1186\"\u003eBecause it’s chocolate. And it’s a dick. There’s no way to prepare for this combination. Whether you send it as an anonymous prank, a breakup finale, or a birthday surprise, one thing is certain - they will \u003cem data-start=\"1119\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003enever\u003c\/em\u003e forget the day they got an unsolicited package like this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1366\"\u003eThis isn’t some cheap hollow candy you can crush with a finger. Nope. This thing is a solid brick of cocoa-based comedy, perfectly designed to be both delicious and disturbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003eIt’s the rare gift that’s equal parts insult and snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1427\" data-end=\"1430\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1432\" data-end=\"1460\"\u003eReal Chaos, Real People\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1464\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e“This was the best gag gift ever !!! My poor brother-in-law called two of his friends in search of who sent it to him and he sadly had to ask if they sent him a big chocolate duck ! Then he finally called us after being shamed hahaha. It was too funny. He will never forget it and neither will we.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1766\" data-end=\"1769\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1771\" data-end=\"1788\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1790\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1790\" data-end=\"1848\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1792\" data-end=\"1848\"\u003eAnonymous pranks that don’t end in small claims court.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1849\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1851\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts that instantly steal the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1904\" data-end=\"1963\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1963\"\u003eBachelorette party jokes that get everyone taking pics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1964\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1966\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003eBreakup revenge that leaves them confused and sugared up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2026\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003eNeighbor feuds that taste better than they end.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2079\" data-end=\"2082\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2120\"\u003eHow It Goes Down (Pun Intended)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2122\" data-end=\"2339\"\u003eYou pick your preferred chocolate dick variant - milk, dark, whatever flavor you think fits their personality best. We package it discreetly, no branding, no hints. It arrives at their door looking totally innocent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2341\" data-end=\"2505\"\u003eThey open it. They freeze. They squint. Then they realize exactly what’s in front of them - and if you’re lucky, they start laughing instead of calling their mom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2507\" data-end=\"2690\"\u003eOf course, the real magic happens when they finally decide, “Screw it, I’m eating it.” Every bite is a reminder that someone out there thought about them… in this very specific way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2692\" data-end=\"2695\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2697\" data-end=\"2714\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003eOne 5.5 inch, 6 to 8 ounce solid chocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e made with organic ingredients.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2879\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2805\" data-end=\"2879\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2805\" data-end=\"2827\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can enjoy the chaos without a paper trail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2880\" data-end=\"2955\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2955\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2908\"\u003eChoice of dick variant\u003c\/strong\u003e - because personalization matters in pranks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2958\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2958\" data-end=\"2994\"\u003eA story they’ll retell for years\u003c\/strong\u003e whether they want to or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3030\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3032\" data-end=\"3078\"\u003eThe 3-Step Plan to Deliver Instant Comedy\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3106\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart”\u003c\/strong\u003e - you know you want to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3133\" data-end=\"3198\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3136\" data-end=\"3198\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3136\" data-end=\"3164\"\u003ePick your chocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e - match the flavor to the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3199\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3202\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3202\" data-end=\"3225\"\u003eShip it anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - sit back, relax, and prepare for confused text messages.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3288\" data-end=\"3291\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3293\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3546\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3319\" data-end=\"3348\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just a gift. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime “WTF” moment delivered right to their door. It’s crude, it’s sweet, and it’s the only way to tell someone to shove it \u003cem data-start=\"3512\" data-end=\"3517\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e enjoy it at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3548\" data-end=\"3629\"\u003eSo stop overthinking it. \u003cstrong data-start=\"3573\" data-end=\"3590\"\u003eOrder one now\u003c\/strong\u003e and let the chocolate speak for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the D, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Classics","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ One","offer_id":41493197258836,"sku":"CHOCODTT","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533147732,"sku":"CHOCODTT2","price":41.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533180500,"sku":"CHOCODTT3","price":58.62,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Five - 20% Off! 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(vs single box)","offer_id":43709252468820,"sku":"IPHONECHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ One","offer_id":44337949212756,"sku":"FABCHOCOD","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949245524,"sku":"FABCHOCOD2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949278292,"sku":"FABCHOCOD3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949311060,"sku":"FABCHOCOD5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949343828,"sku":"FABCHOCOD10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ One","offer_id":42632541896788,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541929556,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541962324,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541995092,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Happy Birthday \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632542027860,"sku":"BIRTHDAYCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ One","offer_id":44530101256276,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44530101289044,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44530101321812,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44530101354580,"sku":"BACHCHOCOD","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bachelorette Sleeve \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! 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(vs single box)","offer_id":42632533639252,"sku":"BEMINECHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Don \/ One","offer_id":42632541405268,"sku":"THEDONCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"The Don \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541438036,"sku":"THEDONCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"The Don \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541470804,"sku":"THEDONCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"The Don \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541503572,"sku":"THEDONCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"The Don \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541536340,"sku":"THEDONCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Sleeve \/ One","offer_id":42012441575508,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Sleeve \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533278804,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Sleeve \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533311572,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Sleeve \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533344340,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Sleeve \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533377108,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ One","offer_id":42632541569108,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541601876,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541634644,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541667412,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hung Stockings Christmas \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632541700180,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-a-dick-the-chocolate-dick-4360501.jpg?v=1761752167"},{"product_id":"christmas-bag-of-d-cks-funny-gummies","title":"Christmas Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe holiday spirit just got a whole lot dirtier.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eForget cookies, carols, and cinnamon-scented candles. The real way to spread Christmas cheer is to send someone a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and watch their wholesome holiday spirit explode into shock, laughter, and maybe a little blushing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not your typical stocking stuffer. It’s a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003elimited edition Christmas-themed bag\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e packed with 10 deliciously chewy, perfectly inappropriate gummy dicks in festive red and green. Five red, five green, each 2.5 inches long, each screaming “Merry Dickmas” in the most edible way possible.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd yes, they actually taste amazing. So while your gift might start as a crude joke, it will probably end with someone proudly munching on a cherry or green apple gummy penis in front of the Christmas tree.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf that mental image alone doesn’t make you smash the Add to Cart button, you might be dead inside.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy You Should Absolutely Send a Christmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the ultimate Christmas gag gift\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – way funnier than another “World’s Best Dad” mug.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the perfect stocking stuffer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – imagine your aunt pulling out a bag of gummy dicks in front of the whole family.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s versatile\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – works for white elephant, secret Santa, family pranks, or your “holiday party” that got out of hand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt ships 100% anonymously\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e – no one will know it was you unless you crack and spill the beans.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s Christmas morning. Someone tears open a festive little package. They expect candy canes, maybe a chocolate Santa. Instead, they’re holding a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Red. Green. Proudly 2.5 inches each.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLaughter erupts. Grandma nearly chokes on her coffee. Your cousin pulls out their phone to film the chaos. And somewhere, you’re sitting back, sipping eggnog, and grinning like the Grinch after stealing all the gifts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is not just candy. This is an edible punchline.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal Reviews from Real Degenerates\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“I had just received this! I LOVE it. I go around all time telling people eat a bag of dicks.. lol so much so when I got them my 14 year old went ‘but that’s your joke’ lol I still haven’t figured out who sent them but they need a high five and some praise!! Thank you for making such a amazing gift!!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “Great white elephant gift.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e “My friend blushed so much! It was perfect. She said the gummy candy tasted really good.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCandy Count:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 10 gummies - 5 red, 5 green\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 2.5 inches each (size matters)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlavors:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Cherry and green apple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Limited edition Christmas-themed bag\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOrder Options:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Single, double em, three, four, five, six for the whole family, eight, ten for grandma too, fifteen for all the cousins, twenty for when you’re feeling generous\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" aria-level=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivery:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% anonymous for maximum mischief\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy This Works Every Single Time\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause Christmas is already a circus of weird traditions, awkward family moments, and questionable gifts. A \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e slides right into the mix perfectly. It’s shocking, hilarious, and actually edible.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEven the people who pretend to be offended will sneak one when no one’s looking. And unlike boring candy canes, no one will forget who sent it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDo It. You Know You Want To.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRight now, there’s a stocking hanging somewhere that desperately needs a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebag of gummy dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e inside it. It could be your brother’s. Your best friend’s. Your white elephant victim’s.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-2b64ee3c-7fff-5570-2d50-d1a4a83b8b26\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo click Add to Cart.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Send a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas Bag of Dicks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e And make sure this holiday season is one they’ll never forget.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41614441250900,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41614441283668,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Three","offer_id":41614441316436,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-3","price":41.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Five - for the whole family","offer_id":41614441381972,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-5","price":64.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Ten - Grandma gets one too","offer_id":41614441480276,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Fifteen - All the Cousins","offer_id":41614441513044,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-15","price":149.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Twenty - We're getting the whole office","offer_id":41614441545812,"sku":"CHRISTMASBOD-20","price":179.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/christmas-bag-of-dicks-2051179.png?v=1770741836"},{"product_id":"gummy-chocolate-bundle","title":"Gummy + Chocolate Bundle","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"215\" data-end=\"275\"\u003eGummy Dicks + Chocolate Cock = The Sweetest F-U Imaginable\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"277\" data-end=\"450\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"277\" data-end=\"450\"\u003eWhat’s better than sending someone a bag of dicks? Sending them TWO kinds. One soft and chewy. The other hard and melts in your mouth. Just like their last relationship.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"452\" data-end=\"632\"\u003eLook, some gifts are thoughtful. This one is not. This one is savage, petty, funny as hell, and perfectly packaged to say “Hey, I’m thinking of you... and it involves candy dicks.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"634\" data-end=\"1006\"\u003eWhether you’re trying to prank your best friend, drop a not-so-subtle hint to your ex, or just be the MVP of your next adult party, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"770\" data-end=\"798\"\u003eGummy + Chocolate Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e is the nuclear option of \u003cstrong data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"843\"\u003egag candy gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e. This ain't your average \u003cstrong data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"887\"\u003ecandy gift box\u003c\/strong\u003e - it’s a sugar-coated insult delivered straight to their door. Anonymously, of course. Because we’re classy like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1008\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1008\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003eBuy now and ruin their diet and dignity in one glorious bundle.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1077\" data-end=\"1080\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1082\" data-end=\"1141\"\u003eWhy This Bundle Slaps Harder Than Their Last Tinder Date\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1143\" data-end=\"1263\"\u003eBecause giving someone regular candy is basic. Giving them a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1204\" data-end=\"1232\"\u003egummy and chocolate gift\u003c\/strong\u003e shaped like dicks? That’s art.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1265\" data-end=\"1582\"\u003eWe’ve combined two heavy hitters in the edible insult game. First, a luscious, 5-inch chocolate penis handcrafted with organic Peruvian cacao. Yeah, that’s right. Organic. Because even your revenge deserves high standards. Then we toss in a sack of gummy dicks so they can chew slowly and question their life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1584\" data-end=\"1710\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"1589\" data-end=\"1611\"\u003efunny candy bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e hits the perfect balance between sweet and savage - like an edible middle finger wrapped in sugar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1712\" data-end=\"1715\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1717\" data-end=\"1756\"\u003eUnbox the Burn: What They’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1758\" data-end=\"1852\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"1763\" data-end=\"1785\"\u003enovelty candy gift\u003c\/strong\u003e ain’t just for laughs. It’s weirdly gourmet. Here’s what’s inside:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1854\" data-end=\"2271\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1854\" data-end=\"1949\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1856\" data-end=\"1949\"\u003eOne thick-ass, 5-inch long, 4-ounce chocolate penis made from high-end organic Peruvian cacao\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1950\" data-end=\"2024\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1952\" data-end=\"2024\"\u003eA generous bag of fruity \u003cstrong data-start=\"1977\" data-end=\"1992\"\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e, colorful and chewy like regret\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2025\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2027\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003eEntire thing is \u003cstrong data-start=\"2043\" data-end=\"2058\"\u003egluten free\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"2063\" data-end=\"2075\"\u003enut free\u003c\/strong\u003e (but still wildly offensive)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2105\" data-end=\"2183\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2107\" data-end=\"2183\"\u003eComes packaged as a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2127\" data-end=\"2154\"\u003ecandy bundle for adults\u003c\/strong\u003e who deserve better… or worse\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2184\" data-end=\"2271\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2186\" data-end=\"2271\"\u003eShips \u003cstrong data-start=\"2192\" data-end=\"2219\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you’re not a monster, just chaotic neutral\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2273\" data-end=\"2414\"\u003eYou can’t go wrong with this \u003cstrong data-start=\"2302\" data-end=\"2329\"\u003echocolate and gummy set\u003c\/strong\u003e. Unless your grandma opens it. In that case, you’re gonna have a weird Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2416\" data-end=\"2419\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2421\" data-end=\"2461\"\u003eWhen to Deploy the Sugar-Cocked Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2463\" data-end=\"2509\"\u003eHere’s when this \u003cstrong data-start=\"2480\" data-end=\"2501\"\u003eedible prank gift\u003c\/strong\u003e shines:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2511\" data-end=\"2764\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2511\" data-end=\"2555\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2513\" data-end=\"2555\"\u003eBreakup? Boom. Here’s your farewell snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2556\" data-end=\"2598\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2558\" data-end=\"2598\"\u003eBirthday? Skip the balloons. Send dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2599\" data-end=\"2660\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2601\" data-end=\"2660\"\u003eBachelor or bachelorette party? You just became the legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2661\" data-end=\"2706\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2663\" data-end=\"2706\"\u003eSecret Santa? Not so secret anymore, Karen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2707\" data-end=\"2764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2709\" data-end=\"2764\"\u003eJust because you woke up and chose violence? Hell yeah.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2766\" data-end=\"2934\"\u003eThis isn’t just a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2784\" data-end=\"2809\"\u003eunique candy gift box\u003c\/strong\u003e, it’s an entire experience. One that leaves a taste in their mouth they won’t forget. Probably chocolate. Possibly betrayal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2936\" data-end=\"2939\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2941\" data-end=\"2969\"\u003eYour Move, Candy Assassin\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2971\" data-end=\"3154\"\u003eReady to be the hero no one asked for? Smash that add to cart button. We’ll ship this savage sweetness straight to your victim - I mean recipient - without your name anywhere near it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3156\" data-end=\"3242\"\u003eBecause sometimes the best kind of love... tastes like chocolate cock and gummy balls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3244\" data-end=\"3247\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3249\" data-end=\"3339\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3249\" data-end=\"3339\"\u003ePerfect for ruining diets, relationships, and emotional stability. One bite at a time.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3341\" data-end=\"3377\"\u003eNow go be a menace. They deserve it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41661430497364,"sku":"CHOCOLATE+GUMMIES","price":32.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/gummy-chocolate-bundle-9699897.png?v=1755878846"},{"product_id":"all-the-dicks-bundle-gummy-dicks-chocolate-dick-and-dick-glitter-bomb","title":"All The Dicks Bundle (Gummy Dicks, Chocolate Dick, and Dick Glitter Bomb)","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"155\" data-end=\"206\"\u003eThe Ultimate Triple Threat of Dick-Based Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"208\" data-end=\"473\"\u003eWhy settle for one prank when you can hit them with \u003cstrong data-start=\"260\" data-end=\"277\"\u003eall the dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e at once?\u003cbr data-start=\"286\" data-end=\"289\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"317\"\u003eAll The Dicks Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just a gag gift, it’s a full-on edible, explosive, and glittery assault that leaves your target laughing, gagging, and possibly sweeping for hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"475\" data-end=\"531\"\u003eInside this glorious package of nonsense, they’ll get:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"764\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"580\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"580\"\u003eA solid chocolate dick they can actually eat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"581\" data-end=\"673\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"583\" data-end=\"673\"\u003eA bag of chewy gummy dicks they can snack or spit out depending on their emotional state\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"674\" data-end=\"764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"676\" data-end=\"764\"\u003eA spring-loaded dick confetti bomb that blasts a glittery mess straight into their lap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"766\" data-end=\"877\"\u003eAll packed up and shipped \u003cstrong data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"819\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can watch the chaos unfold from a safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"904\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send someone the ultimate edible and glitter combo prank that will be remembered (and vacuumed) for years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1070\"\u003eWhy This Bundle Is Pure Prank Perfection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1071\" data-end=\"1219\"\u003eYou could just send a chocolate dick. You could just send a gummy dick. You could even just send a glitter dick bomb. But where’s the fun in that?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1221\" data-end=\"1414\"\u003eThe real comedy comes from hitting them with all three. They think they’ve seen the joke? Nope, here’s another. And another. It’s the prank equivalent of a triple punch combo in a video game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1416\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003ePlus, this bundle saves you money, so you get to be both hilarious and financially responsible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1515\" data-end=\"1518\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1520\" data-end=\"1554\"\u003eA Visual You’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1555\" data-end=\"1835\"\u003ePicture this: your friend gets a mysterious package. They open it and find a sweet chocolate dick. Funny, right? Then they notice the bag of gummy dicks. Hilarious. Then they open the third item and BAM - a glittery confetti blast of mini paper dicks all over their living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1837\" data-end=\"1974\"\u003eAt this point, they’re either laughing so hard they can’t breathe or texting you in all caps with 14 angry emojis. Either way, you win.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1976\" data-end=\"1979\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1981\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003eWhat’s Inside The All The Dicks Bundle\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2026\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2026\" data-end=\"2133\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2133\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2046\"\u003eChocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e - Solid, handcrafted, and made to be eaten (or not, depending on how petty they are)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2134\" data-end=\"2210\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2136\" data-end=\"2210\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2136\" data-end=\"2151\"\u003eGummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - Chewy, fruity, and shaped for maximum immature giggles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2211\" data-end=\"2326\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2213\" data-end=\"2326\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2213\" data-end=\"2248\"\u003eSpring-Loaded Dick Glitter Bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e - Packed with shiny paper dicks and glitter for a messy, hilarious surprise\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2327\" data-end=\"2364\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2329\" data-end=\"2364\"\u003eShips \u003cstrong data-start=\"2335\" data-end=\"2362\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2365\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2367\" data-end=\"2420\"\u003eDiscounted compared to buying each prank separately\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2422\" data-end=\"2425\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2427\" data-end=\"2466\"\u003eHow to Use This Bundle Like a Pro\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2467\" data-end=\"2775\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2467\" data-end=\"2543\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2469\" data-end=\"2543\"\u003eSend it as a birthday prank to a friend who swears they’ve “seen it all”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2544\" data-end=\"2605\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2546\" data-end=\"2605\"\u003eMake it a bachelor party surprise that no one will forget\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2606\" data-end=\"2683\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2608\" data-end=\"2683\"\u003eUse it for a breakup joke that’s part edible gift, part cleanup nightmare\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2684\" data-end=\"2775\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2686\" data-end=\"2775\"\u003eSend it to a roommate who ate your leftovers (sweet revenge never tasted so chocolatey)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2777\" data-end=\"2780\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2782\" data-end=\"2817\"\u003eThe Triple Reaction Guarantee\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2818\" data-end=\"2881\"\u003eWith this bundle, you’re guaranteed three distinct reactions:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"3040\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2917\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2885\" data-end=\"2917\"\u003eLaughing at the chocolate dick\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2918\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2921\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003eEye-rolling and snacking on the gummy dicks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2967\" data-end=\"3040\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2970\" data-end=\"3040\"\u003eScreaming and swearing while picking glitter dicks out of the carpet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3042\" data-end=\"3108\"\u003eIt’s a full emotional arc, and you’re the evil genius behind it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3110\" data-end=\"3113\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3115\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3133\" data-end=\"3403\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3137\" data-end=\"3161\"\u003eAll The Dicks Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e is for people who believe in going big or going home. One prank is funny. Three pranks in one box? That’s legendary. Whether it’s for a birthday, revenge, or just because you woke up and chose chaos, this bundle delivers every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3405\" data-end=\"3483\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3405\" data-end=\"3430\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and become the hero (or villain) of someone’s day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3405\" data-end=\"3483\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":41666439020628,"sku":"BOD\u0026DICKBOMB\u0026CHOCOD","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/all-the-dicks-bundle-gummy-dicks-chocolate-dick-and-dick-glitter-bomb-2355220.png?v=1755878848"},{"product_id":"birthday-bag-of-dicks","title":"Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"144\" data-end=\"207\"\u003eHappy Birthday Bag of Dicks – Because Cake is Overrated\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"209\" data-end=\"332\"\u003eYou know what every birthday needs? A cake, some booze, a few questionable life choices… and a bag of fruity gummy dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"334\" data-end=\"630\"\u003eYes, you read that right. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"395\"\u003eHappy Birthday Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is the edible prank that says, “I care about you” and “also, eat a dick” in the same breath. It’s sweet, it’s chewy, it’s anatomically hilarious, and it’s going to be the one gift they remember long after the balloons have deflated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"632\" data-end=\"889\"\u003eIf you’re tired of giving boring cards or generic candles, this is your move. It’s the ultimate birthday gag gift – funny enough to get a belly laugh, tasty enough to actually eat, and just inappropriate enough to make everyone question how they know you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"891\" data-end=\"958\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"891\" data-end=\"945\"\u003eOrder now, and make their birthday a little more d\u003c\/strong\u003eklicious.**\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"960\" data-end=\"963\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"965\" data-end=\"1011\"\u003eWhy This is the Perfect Birthday Surprise\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1013\" data-end=\"1282\"\u003eMost birthday gifts are forgettable. Nobody talks about the coffee mug you got them three years ago. But a bag of rainbow-colored gummy penises? Oh, they’ll talk. They’ll laugh. They’ll probably send you a text that says “WTF” followed by “also, these are delicious.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1450\"\u003eThis isn’t just candy – it’s an experience. The Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks brings that perfect mix of shock, laughter, and sugar rush that every celebration needs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1452\" data-end=\"1455\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1457\" data-end=\"1487\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1489\" data-end=\"1678\"\u003ePicture it: they open the birthday-themed bag, expecting chocolates, maybe mints. Nope. Ten perfectly crafted gummy dicks, bright and fruity, just sitting there, staring them in the face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1680\" data-end=\"1838\"\u003eThen comes the laugh. Then the photos. Then the moment they realize… they actually taste good. Suddenly, your edible prank just became the hit of the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1840\" data-end=\"1843\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1845\" data-end=\"1877\"\u003eWhat Real People Are Saying\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1879\" data-end=\"2087\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1881\" data-end=\"2087\"\u003e“Good gag birthday gift.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1909\"\u003e“I anonymously send this birthday gift every year at the end of April… and y’all never disappoint!!! Love it!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2021\" data-end=\"2024\"\u003e“I can’t wait to give these out as gifts! Super hilarious.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2089\" data-end=\"2092\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2094\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2120\" data-end=\"2366\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2120\" data-end=\"2178\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2122\" data-end=\"2178\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2122\" data-end=\"2150\"\u003eBirthday-themed gift bag\u003c\/strong\u003e that screams celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2179\" data-end=\"2239\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2181\" data-end=\"2239\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2181\" data-end=\"2206\"\u003e10 fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – sweet, chewy, and hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2240\" data-end=\"2309\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2242\" data-end=\"2309\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2242\" data-end=\"2273\"\u003eOptional anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e so they’ll never know it was you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2310\" data-end=\"2366\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2312\" data-end=\"2366\"\u003eThe perfect combo of dirty joke and delicious snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2368\" data-end=\"2371\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2373\" data-end=\"2422\"\u003eWhen to Send the Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2424\" data-end=\"2496\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2426\" data-end=\"2496\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2426\" data-end=\"2449\"\u003eTo your best friend\u003c\/strong\u003e who can handle a little inappropriate humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2497\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2499\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2499\" data-end=\"2513\"\u003eAs revenge\u003c\/strong\u003e for that prank they pulled on you last year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2561\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2616\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003eFor the family member\u003c\/strong\u003e who has no filter anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2617\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2619\" data-end=\"2696\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2619\" data-end=\"2651\"\u003eAt a white elephant exchange\u003c\/strong\u003e where you want to win by pure shock value.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2698\" data-end=\"2701\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2703\" data-end=\"2720\"\u003eHow It Works\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2722\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2722\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2725\" data-end=\"2776\"\u003eAdd the Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks to your cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2777\" data-end=\"2850\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2780\" data-end=\"2850\"\u003eEnter their address (or yours if you want to hand it over yourself).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2851\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2854\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003eDecide if you want to stay anonymous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2894\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2897\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003eWait for the inevitable text or phone call that starts with, “You absolute a**hole…”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2985\" data-end=\"2988\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2990\" data-end=\"3024\"\u003eThe Gift That Lives in Infamy\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3026\" data-end=\"3251\"\u003eSure, they’ll finish the gummies in a night, but the story? That’s forever. This is the kind of present that pops up in group chats, gets retold at the next barbecue, and cements you as the funniest gift-giver in the group.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3253\" data-end=\"3414\"\u003eBecause when you boil it down, birthdays are about creating memories. And nothing says “happy birthday” quite like a mouthful of dicks… candy dicks, of course.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3416\" data-end=\"3419\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3421\" data-end=\"3601\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3424\" data-end=\"3496\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and send them a Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3496\" data-end=\"3499\"\u003eGive the gift of laughter, sugar, and mild humiliation – all wrapped up in a festive little package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41789113892948,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41789113925716,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three","offer_id":41789113958484,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four","offer_id":41789113991252,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41789114056788,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - For the whole party!","offer_id":41789114122324,"sku":"BIRTHDAYBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/happy-birthday-bag-of-dicks-9852683.png?v=1770741836"},{"product_id":"heartfelt-love-bag-of-dicks","title":"Bag of Dicks - I Thought You Could Use Some Dick Edition - A Heartfelt Gift","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"363\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"361\"\u003eBag of Dicks – I Thought You Could Use Some Dick Edition – A Heartfelt Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"453\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"451\"\u003eBecause sometimes the sweetest way to say “I care” is with a mouthful of gummy dicks.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"455\" data-end=\"726\"\u003eTired of boring gifts? Flowers wilt. Cards get tossed. Chocolates? Predictable. You know what’s unforgettable? Sending someone a \u003cstrong data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"610\"\u003eheart-covered gift bag\u003c\/strong\u003e filled with \u003cstrong data-start=\"623\" data-end=\"648\"\u003e10 fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e and a bold, loving message that says \u003cem data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"724\"\u003e“I thought you could use some dick.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"884\"\u003eIt’s romantic. It’s inappropriate. It’s delicious. And it ships 100 percent anonymously so you can drop this edible love bomb without ever getting caught.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"886\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003eWhether it’s for Valentine’s Day, a birthday gag, a playful romantic gesture, or a “just because I love you and think you need more dick in your life” moment, this is the gift that says exactly what’s on your mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1104\" data-end=\"1211\"\u003eSo stop pretending you’re sentimental. Click \u003cstrong data-start=\"1149\" data-end=\"1164\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e and send them the bag of dicks they deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1213\" data-end=\"1216\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eWhy This Bag of Dicks is Pure Heartfelt Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1270\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1270\" data-end=\"1322\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1272\" data-end=\"1322\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1272\" data-end=\"1296\"\u003eFunny and thoughtful\u003c\/strong\u003e – Yes, you can be both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1323\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1325\" data-end=\"1435\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1325\" data-end=\"1343\"\u003eActually tasty\u003c\/strong\u003e – Cherry, green apple, and blue raspberry gummy penis candy that’s dangerously snackable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1436\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1438\" data-end=\"1520\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1438\" data-end=\"1460\"\u003eAnonymous delivery\u003c\/strong\u003e – They’ll never know it was you… unless you want them to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1521\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003ePerfect for dirty-minded romantics\u003c\/strong\u003e – Friends, lovers, or that single friend who could use a laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1629\" data-end=\"1632\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1634\" data-end=\"1664\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1666\" data-end=\"1857\"\u003ePicture it. They open a cute, heart-covered bag. They expect chocolates. Maybe a scented candle. Instead, they’re greeted by 10 glorious, fruity, \u003cstrong data-start=\"1812\" data-end=\"1835\"\u003edick-shaped gummies\u003c\/strong\u003e smiling up at them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1859\" data-end=\"2064\"\u003eThey laugh. They blush. They immediately take a photo and send it to their group chat. Someone says “Wait… who sent you that?” and they’ll have no idea. Unless, of course, you can’t keep your mouth shut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2066\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003eThen they take a bite. And now you’ve gone from hilarious prank to delivering one of the best candy surprises they’ve had all year. Because yes, these \u003cstrong data-start=\"2217\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003egummy penis candy pieces\u003c\/strong\u003e are made for comedy but taste like the real deal when it comes to flavor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2323\" data-end=\"2326\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2328\" data-end=\"2377\"\u003eReal Reviews from People Who Shared the Love\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2379\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2381\" data-end=\"2560\"\u003e“Sent it to a friend for Valentine’s Day, she loved it!”\u003cbr data-start=\"2437\" data-end=\"2440\"\u003e“Hilarious, reliable, awesome service.”\u003cbr data-start=\"2481\" data-end=\"2484\"\u003e“Perfect mix of funny and thoughtful, recipient couldn’t stop laughing.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2562\" data-end=\"2565\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2567\" data-end=\"2591\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2593\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2593\" data-end=\"2665\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2665\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2625\"\u003eOne heart-covered gift bag\u003c\/strong\u003e filled with 10 fruity \u003cstrong data-start=\"2648\" data-end=\"2663\"\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2666\" data-end=\"2745\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2668\" data-end=\"2745\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2668\" data-end=\"2680\"\u003eFlavors:\u003c\/strong\u003e A mouthwatering mix of cherry, green apple, and blue raspberry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2746\" data-end=\"2805\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2748\" data-end=\"2805\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2748\" data-end=\"2767\"\u003eMessage on bag:\u003c\/strong\u003e “I thought you could use some dick”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2806\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2808\" data-end=\"2966\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2808\" data-end=\"2828\"\u003eQuantity:\u003c\/strong\u003e Single, Double em!, Three – Do you really love me?, Four – Yes Please, I’d like more, Six – send more dicks!, Ten – A whole lot of love\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2967\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2969\" data-end=\"3043\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2969\" data-end=\"2983\"\u003ePackaging:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ships 100 percent anonymously with no branding or receipt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3044\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3189\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3046\" data-end=\"3062\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Valentine’s Day surprise, birthday gag gift, anonymous prank, gift for single friends, edible joke, playful romantic gesture\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3191\" data-end=\"3194\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3196\" data-end=\"3231\"\u003eWhy It Works Every Single Time\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3233\" data-end=\"3506\"\u003eBecause it’s the perfect mix of dirty humor and actual quality candy. People expect a naughty laugh, but they don’t expect the \u003cstrong data-start=\"3360\" data-end=\"3380\"\u003egummy dick candy\u003c\/strong\u003e to be genuinely delicious. That’s what makes this gift legendary – it’s not just a joke, it’s a snack they’ll actually eat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3508\" data-end=\"3784\"\u003eIt works for couples with a twisted sense of humor, friends who appreciate adult candy, or that ex you’re still on “playfully inappropriate” terms with. And unlike a lame card or flowers, this gift will be remembered, photographed, and probably posted online for all to see.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3786\" data-end=\"3789\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3791\" data-end=\"3826\"\u003eSend the Dick. Spread the Joy.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3828\" data-end=\"4020\"\u003eRight now, someone you know could use a smile, a laugh, and maybe a mouthful of \u003cstrong data-start=\"3908\" data-end=\"3932\"\u003epenis-shaped gummies\u003c\/strong\u003e. You could send them something boring… or you could send them exactly what they need.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4022\" data-end=\"4176\"\u003eClick \u003cstrong data-start=\"4028\" data-end=\"4043\"\u003eAdd to Cart\u003c\/strong\u003e. Send the \u003cstrong data-start=\"4054\" data-end=\"4114\"\u003eBag of Dicks – I Thought You Could Use Some Dick Edition\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003cbr data-start=\"4115\" data-end=\"4118\"\u003eMake their day just a little sweeter, and a lot dirtier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4022\" data-end=\"4176\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41791317868628,"sku":"LOVEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41791317901396,"sku":"LOVEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41791317934164,"sku":"LOVEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41791317966932,"sku":"LOVEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41791317999700,"sku":"LOVEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41791318032468,"sku":"LOVEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-dicks-i-thought-you-could-use-some-dick-edition-a-heartfelt-gift-2691147.jpg?v=1755878736"},{"product_id":"pride-bag-of-gummy-dicks","title":"Pride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"218\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks - Sweet, Sassy, and Deliciously Offensive\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"220\" data-end=\"556\"\u003eLet’s be honest - there’s no polite way to hand someone a bag of gummy dicks. And that’s the beauty of it. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"331\" data-end=\"367\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is loud, proud, fruity as hell, and unapologetically inappropriate. It’s the perfect mix of sweet and sassy, guaranteed to make someone laugh so hard they choke on a chewy rainbow shaft.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"558\" data-end=\"652\"\u003eIt’s candy with a cause - to spread love, laughter, and maybe a little bit of petty payback.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"654\" data-end=\"956\"\u003eYou want to know why this is better than sending boring chocolates or flowers? Because anybody can do that. But sending a colorful bag of penis-shaped gummies? That’s not just a gift, that’s a \u003cem data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"858\"\u003estatement\u003c\/em\u003e. It says, “I love you enough to send you a bag of dicks… and I hope you enjoy every last bite.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003eOrder now, send anonymously, and watch as your friends try to figure out who sent them this chewy rainbow of joy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1079\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1084\" data-end=\"1153\"\u003eWhy You’ll Love Sending (or Receiving) This Bag of Rainbow Dicks\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eBecause it’s fun. Because it’s ridiculous. Because candy tastes better when it’s shaped like something inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1276\" data-end=\"1579\"\u003eThe Pride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks isn’t just a gag - it’s actually good candy. Each bag comes with 10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy penises that are soft, chewy, and bursting with flavor. Whether you send it as a Pride Month gift, a party favor, or a random Tuesday pick-me-up, it lands every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1581\" data-end=\"1750\"\u003eAnd yes - it ships \u003cstrong data-start=\"1600\" data-end=\"1627\"\u003e100 percent anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e. No awkward “return address” giving you away. Just you, cackling from the shadows like the benevolent prankster you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1752\" data-end=\"1755\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1757\" data-end=\"1783\"\u003eWhat’s Inside the Bag\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1785\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1785\" data-end=\"1870\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1870\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1787\" data-end=\"1829\"\u003e10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - delicious and proudly inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1871\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1873\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1873\" data-end=\"1899\"\u003ePride-themed packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e - bright, bold, and impossible to ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1944\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2027\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"1966\"\u003eShips discreetly\u003c\/strong\u003e - so you can send to anyone without spoiling the surprise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2030\" data-end=\"2119\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2030\" data-end=\"2052\"\u003eReal candy quality\u003c\/strong\u003e - these aren’t chalky dollar-store gummies, they’re legit tasty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2124\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2126\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003eWhat Customers Are Saying\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"2158\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2160\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e“I sent to my friend as a joke and he thought it was hilarious!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2279\"\u003eShort, sweet, and exactly what we were going for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2281\" data-end=\"2284\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2286\" data-end=\"2303\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2392\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2392\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2307\" data-end=\"2335\"\u003ePride Month celebrations\u003c\/strong\u003e - because nothing says “love wins” like rainbow dicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2393\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2395\" data-end=\"2458\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2395\" data-end=\"2415\"\u003eLGBTQ+ gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e - sweet, silly, and a little scandalous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2459\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2461\" data-end=\"2552\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2461\" data-end=\"2483\"\u003eBirthday surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e - imagine opening a gift bag and seeing these staring back at you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2553\" data-end=\"2608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2555\" data-end=\"2582\"\u003eAnonymous edible pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e - leave them wondering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2609\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2627\"\u003eParty favors\u003c\/strong\u003e - every guest gets a mouthful of fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2668\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2686\"\u003eJust because\u003c\/strong\u003e - do you even need a reason?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2719\" data-end=\"2722\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2724\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eThe Story You’ll Be Dying to Tell\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2764\" data-end=\"2976\"\u003eHere’s how it goes: Your friend gets a package. They’re intrigued. They open it and pull out a Pride-themed bag. They look inside… and instantly realize they’re holding 10 fruity, rainbow-colored gummy penises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2978\" data-end=\"3161\"\u003eThey laugh. They blush. They maybe even pop one in their mouth right there. And then they \u003cem data-start=\"3068\" data-end=\"3074\"\u003ehave\u003c\/em\u003e to tell someone about it, because this is not the kind of gift you keep to yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3163\" data-end=\"3166\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3168\" data-end=\"3204\"\u003eHow to Make This Gift Legendary\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3206\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3206\" data-end=\"3250\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3250\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3224\"\u003eAdd to cart\u003c\/strong\u003e - stop overthinking it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3251\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3254\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3254\" data-end=\"3277\"\u003ePick your recipient\u003c\/strong\u003e - friend, partner, party host, or random cousin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3329\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3400\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3352\"\u003eShip anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - plausible deniability is a beautiful thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3401\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3404\" data-end=\"3485\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3404\" data-end=\"3427\"\u003eEnjoy the aftermath\u003c\/strong\u003e - because you know this will become a group chat story.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3487\" data-end=\"3490\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3492\" data-end=\"3547\"\u003eFinal Take: This is How You Spread Joy (and Dicks)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3549\" data-end=\"3744\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3553\" data-end=\"3589\"\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e is the perfect combination of sweet, rude, and ridiculously fun. It’s a candy gift that celebrates Pride, makes people laugh, and actually tastes great.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3746\" data-end=\"3911\"\u003eWhether you’re sending it as a show of love, as a laugh-out-loud party favor, or just to make someone’s day a little more colorful (and awkward), this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3913\" data-end=\"4006\"\u003e🌈 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3916\" data-end=\"3934\"\u003eGrab a bag now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send someone a chewy, fruity, rainbow shaft they’ll never forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3913\" data-end=\"4006\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41791354273876,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41791354306644,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41791354339412,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41791354372180,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41791354404948,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41791354437716,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-ds-something-i-know-youll-love-8872955.png?v=1779249067"},{"product_id":"bag-of-ds-i-thought-you-could-use-some-d-a-heartfelt-gift","title":"Bag of Gummy D's - I Thought You Could Use Some D","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"168\" data-end=\"225\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - I Thought You Could Use Some D\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"227\" data-end=\"582\"\u003eSometimes words just aren’t enough. Sometimes you need to send a message that’s sweet, juicy, and shaped like… well, you know. Enter the \u003cstrong data-start=\"364\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - I Thought You Could Use Some D\u003c\/strong\u003e. Ten fruity, brightly colored, delicious little gummy penises in a heart-covered bag that says exactly what you’re thinking without you having to say it out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"906\"\u003eIf flowers are for romance, these are for chaos. Perfect for Valentine’s Day, birthdays, or just those random Tuesday afternoons when your buddy looks like they could use a good laugh (and a mouthful of candy D). Ships 100 percent anonymously, so you can watch the mystery and confusion unfold without ever being caught.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"973\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"971\"\u003eOrder now and send them the D they didn’t know they needed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"978\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"980\" data-end=\"1026\"\u003eWhy This is the Gift They’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1028\" data-end=\"1286\"\u003eMost candy gifts? Forgettable. They unwrap it, eat it, and move on with their life. Not these bad boys. These gummy penises are more than candy - they’re a statement. They say, “I’m thinking about you, but in the most uncomfortably hilarious way possible.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1288\" data-end=\"1553\"\u003eIt’s the perfect edible gag gift. Sweet enough to actually enjoy, but funny enough to leave a lasting impression. And because they ship in a discreet, anonymous package, the recipient will spend way too much time wondering who sent them a bag full of candy cocks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1555\" data-end=\"1558\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1560\" data-end=\"1590\"\u003eThe Scene You’re Creating\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1592\" data-end=\"1918\"\u003ePicture this. Your friend gets a small, heart-covered bag in the mail. They open it. Their brain says “candy,” but their eyes say “are those… tiny penises?” They laugh, they take a photo, they send it to the group chat. Suddenly, you’ve started a chain reaction of laughter, inappropriate jokes, and maybe even a taste test.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1920\" data-end=\"2044\"\u003eIf you’re lucky, they’ll post it online. If you’re \u003cem data-start=\"1971\" data-end=\"1979\"\u003ereally\u003c\/em\u003e lucky, they’ll keep one as a trophy in a candy jar for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2046\" data-end=\"2049\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2051\" data-end=\"2097\"\u003ePerfect for When Someone Could Use Some D\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2099\" data-end=\"2203\"\u003eWhether you’re looking to get a laugh or make a subtle (or not-so-subtle) statement, this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2262\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2207\" data-end=\"2262\"\u003eValentine’s Day surprise that’s more funny than sappy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2263\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2265\" data-end=\"2321\"\u003eBirthday gag gift for that friend who “has everything”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2322\" data-end=\"2368\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2324\" data-end=\"2368\"\u003eA sweet pick-me-up for your single friends\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2369\" data-end=\"2430\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2371\" data-end=\"2430\"\u003eJust because you felt like mailing someone candy genitals\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2431\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2433\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003eA playful edible joke for someone who loves a laugh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2491\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2493\" data-end=\"2519\"\u003eWhat’s Inside the Bag\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2521\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2521\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2523\" data-end=\"2588\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2523\" data-end=\"2548\"\u003e10 fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - soft, chewy, and packed with flavor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2589\" data-end=\"2680\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2591\" data-end=\"2680\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2591\" data-end=\"2612\"\u003eHeart-covered bag\u003c\/strong\u003e - because nothing says romance like candy cocks in cute packaging\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2681\" data-end=\"2751\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2683\" data-end=\"2751\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2683\" data-end=\"2717\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e - they’ll never know it was you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2752\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2754\" data-end=\"2829\"\u003eA perfect balance of humor and sugar, making it the ultimate edible prank\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2831\" data-end=\"2834\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2836\" data-end=\"2872\"\u003eHow to Pull This Off Like a Pro\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2874\" data-end=\"3084\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2874\" data-end=\"2918\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2877\" data-end=\"2918\"\u003eAdd this bag of gummy D’s to your cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2919\" data-end=\"2996\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2922\" data-end=\"2996\"\u003eEnter their address, not yours. (Unless you want to hand-deliver the D.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2997\" data-end=\"3084\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3000\" data-end=\"3084\"\u003eSit back and wait for the texts, calls, or social media posts to start rolling in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3269\" data-end=\"3272\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3274\" data-end=\"3290\"\u003eBottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3292\" data-end=\"3618\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3349\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - I Thought You Could Use Some D\u003c\/strong\u003e is not just candy. It’s comedy. It’s chaos. It’s a sugar-packed punchline in a bag. It’s for the friend who can take a joke, the ex who needs a laugh, or anyone who could use a sweet, fruity reminder that you’re thinking of them… in the most ridiculous way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3620\" data-end=\"3703\"\u003eStop overthinking your gift. Skip the boring, predictable stuff. Send them the D.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"3824\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"3822\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and give someone the most unforgettable, inappropriate, and tasty surprise of their life.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"3824\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ei\u003cwbr\u003en the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/wbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41832675770452,"sku":"LOVEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41832675803220,"sku":"LOVEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41832675835988,"sku":"LOVEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41832675868756,"sku":"LOVEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41832675901524,"sku":"LOVEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41832675934292,"sku":"LOVEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-ds-i-thought-you-could-use-some-d-7773576.jpg?v=1770741836"},{"product_id":"the-dark-chocolate-cock-eat-a-dick","title":"The Dark Chocolate Cock - Eat A Dick","description":"\u003chr data-end=\"141\" data-start=\"138\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"223\" data-start=\"143\"\u003eThe Dark Chocolate Cock – The Sweetest Way to Tell Someone to Eat a Dick\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"303\" data-start=\"225\"\u003eSome gifts say “I care.”\u003cbr data-end=\"252\" data-start=\"249\"\u003eThis one says \u003cstrong data-end=\"301\" data-start=\"266\"\u003e“I care… but also, eat a dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"564\" data-start=\"305\"\u003eMeet the \u003cstrong data-end=\"337\" data-start=\"314\"\u003eDark Chocolate Cock\u003c\/strong\u003e – a solid, 4 to 5.5-inch slab of gluten-free Peruvian cacao shaped exactly like a penis. Yes, it’s edible. Yes, it’s delicious. And yes, it’s going to make whoever gets it laugh, blush, and maybe question their life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"811\" data-start=\"566\"\u003eYou can send flowers, sure. Or… you can send a big, beautiful, edible dick in a discreet box. \u003cstrong data-end=\"718\" data-start=\"660\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now and make their day unforgettable\u003c\/strong\u003e – whether it’s out of love, revenge, or just because you’re a chaotic good kind of person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"816\" data-start=\"813\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"851\" data-start=\"818\"\u003eWhy This is the Perfect Gift\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1027\" data-start=\"853\"\u003eLife’s too short for boring presents. You’ve got two choices: buy them another scented candle they’ll never use, or send them a dark chocolate penis they’ll \u003cem data-end=\"1024\" data-start=\"1010\"\u003enever forget\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1285\" data-start=\"1029\"\u003eThis isn’t some cheap gag candy that tastes like wax. This is rich, smooth, premium Peruvian dark chocolate – but molded into the shape of a cock. It’s the perfect mix of classy and trashy. They’ll get the joke… but they’ll also actually enjoy eating it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1473\" data-start=\"1287\"\u003eWhether you’re saying “Happy Birthday,” “Congrats on the divorce,” or “Thanks for being a dick – here’s one for you,” this chocolate masterpiece gets the message across loud and clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"1478\" data-start=\"1475\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"1526\" data-start=\"1480\"\u003eA Story You’ll Want to Tell Over and Over\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1741\" data-start=\"1528\"\u003ePicture this: your friend opens the discreet little box, expecting… who knows what. Jewelry? A heartfelt note? Then they pull back the wrapping and \u003cem data-end=\"1682\" data-start=\"1676\"\u003eboom\u003c\/em\u003e – staring them in the face is a solid chocolate schlong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1771\" data-start=\"1743\"\u003eOne customer said it best:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"1773\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2086\" data-start=\"1775\"\u003e“Imagine your billion dollar company cans you two months before your five-year anniversary with zero notice. A few months later, you think… wait, I can send the president of the company a chocolate surprise. Made me laugh and feel better. And yes, I hope he sees this too – ahahahahahhaahahah!!!!! It worked.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2111\" data-start=\"2088\"\u003eAnother fan favorite:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2272\" data-start=\"2113\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2272\" data-start=\"2115\"\u003e“Even with a Google Pay glitch, customer service made sure it got to the right destination. I’ve used this company twice and I’ve never been disappointed.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2301\" data-start=\"2274\"\u003eAnd my personal favorite:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-end=\"2405\" data-start=\"2303\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2405\" data-start=\"2305\"\u003e“Great experience. Easy purchase. Delivered as promised.”\u003cbr data-end=\"2365\" data-start=\"2362\"\u003eTranslation: Yes, they got their dick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2410\" data-start=\"2407\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2445\" data-start=\"2412\"\u003eWhat You’re Actually Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2743\" data-start=\"2447\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2500\" data-start=\"2447\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2500\" data-start=\"2449\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2498\" data-start=\"2449\"\u003e4 to 5.5 inches of solid dark chocolate penis\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2614\" data-start=\"2501\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2614\" data-start=\"2503\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2546\" data-start=\"2503\"\u003e3 to 4 ounces of premium Peruvian cacao\u003c\/strong\u003e – gluten-free, so even the health nuts can suck on it guilt-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2695\" data-start=\"2615\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2695\" data-start=\"2617\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2639\" data-start=\"2617\"\u003eDiscreet packaging\u003c\/strong\u003e – no one will know what’s inside until it’s too late.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2743\" data-start=\"2696\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2743\" data-start=\"2698\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"2722\" data-start=\"2698\"\u003eHilarious and edible\u003c\/strong\u003e – a perfect combo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2748\" data-start=\"2745\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2767\" data-start=\"2750\"\u003ePerfect For…\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2935\" data-start=\"2769\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2791\" data-start=\"2769\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2791\" data-start=\"2771\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2812\" data-start=\"2792\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2812\" data-start=\"2794\"\u003eAnonymous pranks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2832\" data-start=\"2813\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2832\" data-start=\"2815\"\u003eBreakup revenge\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2857\" data-start=\"2833\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2857\" data-start=\"2835\"\u003eBachelorette parties\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2886\" data-start=\"2858\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2886\" data-start=\"2860\"\u003e“Just because” surprises\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2935\" data-start=\"2887\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"2935\" data-start=\"2889\"\u003eThat friend who says they’ve seen everything\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"2940\" data-start=\"2937\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"2974\" data-start=\"2942\"\u003ePro Tips for Maximum Impact\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-end=\"3158\" data-start=\"2976\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3017\" data-start=\"2976\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3017\" data-start=\"2979\"\u003eOrder it anonymously for peak chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3083\" data-start=\"3018\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3083\" data-start=\"3021\"\u003eAdd your own note – sweet, sarcastic, or straight-up savage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"3158\" data-start=\"3084\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3158\" data-start=\"3087\"\u003eSit back and wait for the text that says, “WTF did you just send me?”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3163\" data-start=\"3160\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-end=\"3207\" data-start=\"3165\"\u003eThe Sweet Taste of Petty Satisfaction\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3365\" data-start=\"3209\"\u003eSure, you could send an edible arrangement. But will they tell \u003cem data-end=\"3278\" data-start=\"3272\"\u003ethat\u003c\/em\u003e story at every party for the next year? Nope. This, though… this is legend material.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3525\" data-start=\"3367\"\u003eThe Dark Chocolate Cock isn’t just a treat – it’s a statement. It’s the edible equivalent of a mic drop. A sweet, cocoa-rich middle finger wrapped in humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"3530\" data-start=\"3527\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3757\" data-start=\"3532\"\u003e🎯 \u003cstrong data-end=\"3560\" data-start=\"3535\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send someone the most delicious, most inappropriate gift they’ll ever unwrap. Whether they laugh, blush, or choke on it (hey, it’s possible), one thing’s for sure – they’ll never forget you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"3757\" data-start=\"3532\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate Dick","offer_id":41835942903892,"sku":"DARKCHOCODICK","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Bach Shit Crazy","offer_id":41835955650644,"sku":"DARKCHOCODICKBACH","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Nuts About You Box","offer_id":41835943002196,"sku":"NUTSABOUTYOUDARKCHOCOD","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Santa Christmas Box","offer_id":41835942936660,"sku":"CHRISTMASCHOCODICKDARK","price":21.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"There's Something Fabulous In There Pride Box","offer_id":41835943034964,"sku":"FABULOUSDARKCHOCO","price":21.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-dark-chocolate-cock-eat-a-dick-1763557.jpg?v=1755878737"},{"product_id":"the-take-the-hint-valentine-s-bundle","title":"The \"Take the Hint\" Valentine’s Bundle - Vibrator and Gummy Dicks ❤️🍆😏","description":"\u003cp\u003eRoses are red, violets are blue, this bag's full of dicks… and so are my thoughts about you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💘 \u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Inside?\u003c\/strong\u003e 💘\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe “Go F\u003c\/strong\u003e* Yourself” Emojibator** – A cheeky little tool for \u003cem\u003epersonal\u003c\/em\u003e satisfaction… but let’s be real, I’d rather be handling that for you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA Heartfelt Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e – Sweet, chewy, and slightly suggestive—kind of like me when I think about you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not \u003cem\u003ejust\u003c\/em\u003e a gag gift—it’s an \u003cstrong\u003einvitation\u003c\/strong\u003e. A \u003cem\u003ewink-wink, nudge-nudge\u003c\/em\u003e, let’s-cut-the-tension-and-do-something-about-it kind of situation. So, what do you say? Keep the toys, or come unwrap the real thing? 😏\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy Valentine’s—hope you take the hint.\u003c\/strong\u003e 💋🔥\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"bundle variant #1","offer_id":41861372117076,"sku":null,"price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/the-take-the-hint-valentines-bundle-vibrator-and-gummy-dicks-4691674.png?v=1755878733"},{"product_id":"pride-rainbow-bag-of-gummy-ds","title":"Bag of Gummy D's - Something I Know You'll Love","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"235\" data-end=\"290\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - Something I Know You’ll Love\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"292\" data-end=\"567\"\u003eEver wanted to give someone a gift that’s sweet, colorful, and just \u003cem data-start=\"360\" data-end=\"370\"\u003eslightly\u003c\/em\u003e offensive? Say hello to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"399\" data-end=\"419\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s\u003c\/strong\u003e - 10 fruity rainbow-colored gummy penises in a Pride-themed bag, perfect for celebrating love, laughs, and maybe a little bit of awkward chewing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"569\" data-end=\"662\"\u003eThis is not your grandma’s candy. Unless, of course, your grandma is a savage prank legend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"664\" data-end=\"755\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"664\" data-end=\"753\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart” now and anonymously send someone a mouthful they’ll never forget.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"760\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eWhy This Hits Different\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"903\"\u003eSure, you could send flowers. But flowers wilt. Candy hearts are boring. And regular gummy bears? Snoozefest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"905\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003eThese penis gummies, though? They’re unapologetically funny, deliciously fruity, and rainbow AF. They send a message that says, “I love you, I’m proud of you, and also, here’s a bag of dicks.” Whether it’s Pride Month, a birthday, Galentine’s, or just a Tuesday, these little guys get the reaction you’re really after - jaw-drop, laughter, and maybe even a photo for Instagram.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1291\" data-end=\"1320\"\u003eOne Gift, Endless Laughs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1322\" data-end=\"1612\"\u003eImagine it. Your friend gets a discreet package in the mail. They open it up, see a bag bursting with bright, colorful penis gummies, and immediately spit out their coffee. They either laugh so hard they cry, or immediately eat one and ask what flavor “blue dick” is. Either way, you win.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1614\" data-end=\"1657\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1616\" data-end=\"1657\"\u003e“Sent the bag and we had a good laugh.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1733\"\u003eThat’s the whole point - laughs that linger long after the bag is empty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1735\" data-end=\"1738\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1740\" data-end=\"1757\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1759\" data-end=\"2099\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1759\" data-end=\"1819\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1761\" data-end=\"1819\"\u003ePride Month celebrations that need a little extra flair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1820\" data-end=\"1880\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1822\" data-end=\"1880\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts that beat another boring Amazon card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1881\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1883\" data-end=\"1943\"\u003eGalentine’s parties where wine meets inappropriate snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1944\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003eAnonymous edible pranks that leave people both confused and delighted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2019\" data-end=\"2099\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2021\" data-end=\"2099\"\u003e“Just because” surprises when you want to drop candy chaos on someone’s day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2101\" data-end=\"2104\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2106\" data-end=\"2123\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2125\" data-end=\"2352\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2125\" data-end=\"2204\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2127\" data-end=\"2204\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2127\" data-end=\"2170\"\u003e10 fruity rainbow-colored gummy penises\u003c\/strong\u003e in a colorful Pride-themed bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2205\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2207\" data-end=\"2245\"\u003eA perfect mix of sweetness and sass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2246\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2302\"\u003e100 percent anonymous shipping - your secret’s safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2303\" data-end=\"2352\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2305\" data-end=\"2352\"\u003eA guaranteed story they’ll retell to friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2354\" data-end=\"2357\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2359\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003eHow to Pull This Off\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2386\" data-end=\"2647\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2386\" data-end=\"2484\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2389\" data-end=\"2484\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2389\" data-end=\"2422\"\u003eOrder your bag of gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - one for them, maybe one for yourself (research purposes).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2485\" data-end=\"2546\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2546\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2511\"\u003eShip it anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e so they have no idea it was you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2547\" data-end=\"2647\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2550\" data-end=\"2647\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2550\" data-end=\"2602\"\u003eWait for the texts, calls, or social media posts\u003c\/strong\u003e because they \u003cem data-start=\"2616\" data-end=\"2622\"\u003ewill\u003c\/em\u003e want to show this off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2652\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2654\" data-end=\"2674\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2676\" data-end=\"2962\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"2680\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003eBag of Gummy D’s - Something I Know You’ll Love\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just candy. It’s a pride-filled, rainbow-wrapped edible prank that hits the sweet spot between hilarious and delicious. It works for friends, partners, exes you weirdly still talk to, and anyone with a good sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2964\" data-end=\"3129\"\u003eStop overthinking it. \u003cstrong data-start=\"2986\" data-end=\"3031\"\u003eSend a bag of rainbow penis gummies today\u003c\/strong\u003e and give them the gift of laughter (and maybe a little choking hazard, but like, in a fun way).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2964\" data-end=\"3129\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2029\" data-end=\"2228\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2029\" data-end=\"2043\"\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e If you are sending to someone else, make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise, it's you that ends up with the bag of Ds, albeit deservedly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2230\" data-end=\"2291\"\u003eRecipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2295\" data-end=\"2415\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"2295\" data-end=\"2413\"\u003eBy ordering, you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":41894107938900,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double em!","offer_id":41894107971668,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-2","price":28.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Three - Do you really love me?","offer_id":41894108004436,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-3","price":41.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Four - Yes please, I'd like more","offer_id":41894108037204,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-4","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five!","offer_id":42000522379348,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-5","price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Six - send more dicks!","offer_id":41894108069972,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-6","price":69.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Ten - A whole lot of love","offer_id":41894108102740,"sku":"PRIDEBOD-10","price":99.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/bag-of-gummy-ds-something-i-know-youll-love-8872955.png?v=1779249067"},{"product_id":"eat-my-a-chocolate-treats","title":"Eat My --- Chocolate Treats","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"209\" data-end=\"293\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEat My --- Chocolate Treats\u003c\/strong\u003e - The Sweetest Kick in the Pants You’ll Ever Give\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"295\" data-end=\"428\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to say “kiss my ass” but in a way that’s edible, delicious, and absolutely unforgettable, here’s your moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"430\" data-end=\"650\"\u003eMeet \u003cstrong data-start=\"435\" data-end=\"469\"\u003eEat My --- Chocolate Treats\u003c\/strong\u003e - handcrafted milk chocolate molded into realistic buttholes, packaged in a cheeky gift box, and ready to be the most scandalous snack your recipient has ever put in their mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"652\" data-end=\"772\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"652\" data-end=\"677\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and send a gift that’s equal parts sweet and “oh my god, did they really just send me this?”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"777\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"779\" data-end=\"825\"\u003eWhy This Naughty Chocolate is Pure Genius\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"827\" data-end=\"1014\"\u003eMost chocolates are boring. Heart-shaped, wrapped in gold foil, and forgotten by Tuesday. But these? These are chocolates that people remember. These are chocolates people \u003cem data-start=\"999\" data-end=\"1011\"\u003etalk about\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1016\" data-end=\"1168\"\u003eThey’re the perfect blend of quality and comedy - rich, creamy milk chocolate crafted by people who clearly have no shame and a wicked sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1170\" data-end=\"1336\"\u003eWhen you send these, you’re not just gifting candy. You’re gifting an \u003cstrong data-start=\"1240\" data-end=\"1254\"\u003eexperience\u003c\/strong\u003e. An awkward, hilarious, melt-in-your-mouth moment that no one will ever forget.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1338\" data-end=\"1341\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1343\" data-end=\"1365\"\u003eWhat’s in the Box\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1367\" data-end=\"1446\"\u003eThe name says it all, but here’s the breakdown of your \u003cstrong data-start=\"1422\" data-end=\"1443\"\u003echocolates\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1448\" data-end=\"1793\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1448\" data-end=\"1527\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1450\" data-end=\"1527\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1450\" data-end=\"1479\"\u003eRealistic wrinkly shapes\u003c\/strong\u003e (yes, really) molded in smooth milk chocolate\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1528\" data-end=\"1583\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1530\" data-end=\"1583\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1530\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003eCheeky gift box\u003c\/strong\u003e for maximum presentation impact\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1584\" data-end=\"1652\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1586\" data-end=\"1652\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1586\" data-end=\"1609\"\u003eHandcrafted quality\u003c\/strong\u003e so they’re as tasty as they are shocking\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1653\" data-end=\"1728\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1655\" data-end=\"1728\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1655\" data-end=\"1677\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e for that “oh god, who sent this?” mystery factor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1729\" data-end=\"1793\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1731\" data-end=\"1793\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1731\" data-end=\"1747\"\u003ePerfect size\u003c\/strong\u003e for pranks, parties, or pranks \u003cem data-start=\"1779\" data-end=\"1783\"\u003eat\u003c\/em\u003e parties\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1795\" data-end=\"1798\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1800\" data-end=\"1814\"\u003eThe Scene\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1816\" data-end=\"2029\"\u003ePicture this: it’s Valentine’s Day. Your partner is expecting flowers, maybe some boring store-bought chocolates. Instead, they open the box and are greeted by a lineup of perfectly detailed chocolate holes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2031\" data-end=\"2092\"\u003eThey laugh. They blush. They take a bite. They laugh again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2094\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003eOr maybe you’re sending them to a friend for their birthday. They rip into the package expecting a generic sweet. What they get is a lesson in why you’re the funniest person they know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2282\" data-end=\"2331\"\u003eThis is the chocolate equivalent of a mic drop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2333\" data-end=\"2336\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2338\" data-end=\"2354\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2356\" data-end=\"2725\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2356\" data-end=\"2424\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2358\" data-end=\"2424\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2358\" data-end=\"2384\"\u003eValentine’s Day pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e that keep the romance but add a twist\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2425\" data-end=\"2492\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2427\" data-end=\"2492\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2427\" data-end=\"2449\"\u003eRomantic gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e for couples who laugh at the weird stuff\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2493\" data-end=\"2545\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2495\" data-end=\"2545\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2495\" data-end=\"2518\"\u003eAnonymous surprises\u003c\/strong\u003e that leave them guessing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2546\" data-end=\"2599\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2548\" data-end=\"2599\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2548\" data-end=\"2566\"\u003eBirthday jokes\u003c\/strong\u003e that beat any boring gift card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2600\" data-end=\"2664\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2602\" data-end=\"2664\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2602\" data-end=\"2631\"\u003eBachelorette party favors\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually make people howl\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2665\" data-end=\"2725\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2667\" data-end=\"2725\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2667\" data-end=\"2691\"\u003eEdible novelty gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e that taste as good as they look\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2727\" data-end=\"2730\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2732\" data-end=\"2753\"\u003eHow People React\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2755\" data-end=\"2949\"\u003eWhile no one’s left a review yet for these exact treats, we know the vibe. It’s a mix of shock, laughter, and that little smirk people get when they know they’re about to do something naughty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2951\" data-end=\"3102\"\u003eThey’ll tell their friends. They’ll post it on Instagram. And you’ll sit back knowing you’ve pulled off a prank that’s both ridiculous and delicious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3786\" data-end=\"3850\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3786\" data-end=\"3811\"\u003eClick Add to Cart now\u003c\/strong\u003e and put a little cheek in their day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DicksByMail","offers":[{"title":"One \/ No Sleeve","offer_id":42731833032788,"sku":"EMA","price":17.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One \/ Live Fast","offer_id":43763551010900,"sku":"EMA,LIVEFASTSLEEVE","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double (10% Off Single Price per Box) \/ No Sleeve","offer_id":42731833065556,"sku":"EMA-2","price":31.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Double (10% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast","offer_id":43763551043668,"sku":"EMA-2,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-2","price":32.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple (20% Off Single Price per Box) \/ No Sleeve","offer_id":42731833098324,"sku":"EMA-3","price":41.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Triple (20% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast","offer_id":43763551076436,"sku":"EMA-3,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-3","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five (25% Off Single Price per Box) \/ No Sleeve","offer_id":43763551109204,"sku":"EMA-5","price":65.59,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Five (25% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast","offer_id":43763551141972,"sku":"EMA-5,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-5","price":67.46,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten (30% Off Single Price per Box) \/ No Sleeve","offer_id":43764194312276,"sku":"EMA-10","price":122.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ten (30% Off Single Price per Box) \/ Live Fast","offer_id":43764194345044,"sku":"EMA-10,LIVEFASTSLEEVE-10","price":125.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-my-cheeky-chocolate-treats-3104685.jpg?v=1773200470"},{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-the-chocolate-dick-copy","title":"Trick Or Treat - Halloween Themed Chocolate Dick","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDick-or-Treat! \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLimited Edition Halloween Chocolate Dick\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis candy isn't one you had out to the kids on the block, this 5.5 inch chocolate dick is the perfect trick (and treat), to bring to your adult costume party or to play a prank and send to your friend anonymously.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWrapped in our Trick-or-Treat sleeve with “Happy Halloween” screaming across it, this sweet and slightly scandalous treat is the ultimate prank-gift crossover. It’s equal parts trick, treat, and WTF did you just send me?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Your friend who loves Halloween a little too much\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat ex who ghosted you last October\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eAnyone who deserves a good laugh (or a good scare)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEach chocolate masterpiece is hand-poured, solid milk chocolate, and 100% ready to haunt someone’s sweet tooth. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWarning: Side effects may include uncontrollable laughter, blushing, and proudly yelling “Dick-or-Treat, bitches!”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLimited Halloween drop, once they’re gone, they’re six feet under.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42613165293652,"sku":"HALLOWEENCHOCHOCOLATED","price":24.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/trick-or-treat-halloween-themed-chocolate-dick-5297338.jpg?v=1761334315"},{"product_id":"surprise-gourmet-chocolate-gag-gift-poop-shaped-chocolate","title":"The Dollop - Poop-Shaped Chocolate Surprise Gourmet Chocolate Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eGive someone the ultimate prank gift that actually tastes amazing. Inside this plain, anonymous box is a premium milk-chocolate piece molded into a cheeky poop shaped rich, creamy, and completely edible. It’s perfect for birthdays, breakups, coworker roasts, or any time you want to send a hilarious (and tasty!) message.\u003cbr\u003eWhat’s included:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne realistic poop-shaped premium milk chocolate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDiscreet plain box- no branding, no receipt, no clue who sent it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDelivered anonymously for maximum prank impact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy you’ll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWay funnier than a card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTaste beats the joke every time.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWorks for anyone with a sense of humor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEasy, memorable, and guaranteed to get a reaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow to use it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAdd recipient name \u0026amp; shipping address at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSit back while they open the box… confusion. laughter. then delicious chocolate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnjoy your moment of comedic revenge (or gift-giving glory).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the poop. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Single","offer_id":42731846107220,"sku":"ES-1","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Double Shits (Save 10%)","offer_id":42731846139988,"sku":"ES-2","price":28.78,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Triple Shits (Save 20%)","offer_id":42731846172756,"sku":"ES-3","price":38.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/products\/the-poop-prank-bundle-5734396.jpg?v=1762196781"},{"product_id":"eat-a-d-the-chocolate-d-copy","title":"Hilarious Chocolate D Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"3548\" data-end=\"3629\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHilarious Chocolate D Gag Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLooking for a funny, unforgettable gift? This solid 5.5-inch chocolate gag gift (6–8 oz) is unforgettable and  shaped for maximum laughs. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s the perfect surprise for holidays, birthdays, parties, pranks, or anyone who appreciates bold humor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat You Get:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSolid premium chocolate (not hollow)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e~5.5 oz gag gift, approx. 5.5 inches\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDecadent Chocolate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMore Veins than you wanted to see\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb id=\"docs-internal-guid-14689d13-7fff-70cc-8604-3c172fa4c332\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA hilarious story they’ll never forget\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. 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