{"product_id":"big-birthday-tiny-dick-glitter-bomb-card","title":"Big Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card","description":"\u003ch1\u003eBig Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome birthday cards say, “Hope all your wishes come true.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one says:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Happy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd then comes the glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet the \u003cstrong\u003eBig Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card\u003c\/strong\u003e, the birthday prank for that one friend who absolutely does not deserve a normal greeting card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt looks innocent enough when it arrives. They open it expecting a nice birthday message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, they get roasted and showered in glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause getting older is already bad enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou might as well make it worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eA Birthday Roast They’ll Never Forget\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone can send a funny birthday card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe problem?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost greeting card jokes last about five seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRead joke. Laugh. Throw card away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot this one.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eBig Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card\u003c\/strong\u003e turns a simple birthday roast into an experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFirst, they read the message.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen comes the glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen comes the realization that they're going to be finding tiny sparkling reminders of you for a very, very long time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's what we call a gift that keeps on giving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhy This Birthday Glitter Bomb Hits Different\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSavage birthday message\u003c\/strong\u003e featuring the unforgettable “Happy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Dick” design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGlitter bomb surprise\u003c\/strong\u003e waiting inside the card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium cardstock\u003c\/strong\u003e so it looks like a legitimate birthday card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMatching envelope\u003c\/strong\u003e to keep the prank looking innocent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect NSFW birthday gift\u003c\/strong\u003e for friends, boyfriends, husbands, brothers, roommates, and anyone else who can take a joke\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAnonymous shipping available\u003c\/strong\u003e when you'd rather let them wonder who ruined their day\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo boring birthday poem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo inspirational quote about getting older.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust a tiny dick joke and an unreasonable amount of glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePerfect for the Friend Who Deserves It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou already know who you're thinking about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe friend who talks too much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe brother who's been annoying you since childhood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe boyfriend who thinks he's hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe coworker who started the prank war.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe buddy turning 30, 40, 50, or old enough that reminding him about his tiny dick somehow feels even funnier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the \u003cstrong\u003efunny birthday prank card\u003c\/strong\u003e you send when “Happy Birthday” just isn't enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ePicture the Birthday\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCake is out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrinks are flowing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEveryone's opening gifts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen your victim picks up your innocent-looking card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey open it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey read:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Happy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEveryone laughs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd then...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGLITTER.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNow the birthday boy has been publicly roasted and covered in sparkly evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCake: $30.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBeer: $20.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWatching your friend process what just happened?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePriceless.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eBetter Than Another Boring Birthday Gift\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSocks get forgotten.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift cards get spent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNormal birthday cards end up in the trash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut glitter?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGlitter has commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey'll find it on the floor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey'll find it on their clothes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey'll probably find one random piece three months from now and immediately remember exactly which asshole sent this card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThat's brand recall.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eGive Them a Big Birthday and an Even Bigger Roast\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could send something thoughtful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could act mature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could acknowledge that everyone is getting older and maybe it's time to grow up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could send them the \u003cstrong\u003eBig Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe both know which one is more fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdd it to your cart and give them the birthday surprise they absolutely didn't ask for.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMake sure you actually put your recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e***NOTE: \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(255, 0, 0);\"\u003eIf you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.***\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","offers":[{"title":"Activated","offer_id":47498838769748,"sku":"GBCTND-8","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Not-Activated","offer_id":47498838802516,"sku":"GBCTND","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/happy-birthday-to-you-and-your-tiny-penis-nsfw-glitter-bomb-card-464492.jpg?v=1786617759","url":"https:\/\/dicksbymail.com\/products\/big-birthday-tiny-dick-glitter-bomb-card","provider":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}