{"product_id":"eat-a-d-the-chocolate-d","title":"Eat a D - The Chocolate D","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"208\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D: Because Sometimes Words Aren’t Enough\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"210\" data-end=\"397\"\u003eSome people deserve a thank you. Others deserve a hug. But then there are the \u003cem data-start=\"288\" data-end=\"301\"\u003especial few\u003c\/em\u003e who deserve exactly one thing - a big, thick, 5.5 inch chocolate dick right in their mailbox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"399\" data-end=\"648\"\u003eMeet \u003cstrong data-start=\"404\" data-end=\"433\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D\u003c\/strong\u003e. It’s a solid hunk of 6 to 8 ounces of organic chocolate molded into the most unapologetically hilarious shape on the planet. This isn’t some half-assed “haha” gift. This is the gag gift equivalent of a mic drop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"650\" data-end=\"772\"\u003eIf you’ve ever wanted to tell someone to “eat a dick” but also give them dessert, congratulations - your search is over.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is a perfect gift for every occasion! Birthday? Have some D. Christmas? Have Some D! April Fools? Have Some D. Valentines? DEFINITELY have some D. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"863\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"774\" data-end=\"861\"\u003eOrder now, ship it anonymously, and watch the awkward-yet-hilarious fallout unfold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"868\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"870\" data-end=\"910\"\u003eWhy This Works Every. Single. Time.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"1186\"\u003eBecause it’s chocolate. And it’s a dick. There’s no way to prepare for this combination. Whether you send it as an anonymous prank, a breakup finale, or a birthday surprise, one thing is certain - they will \u003cem data-start=\"1119\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003enever\u003c\/em\u003e forget the day they got an unsolicited package like this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1366\"\u003eThis isn’t some cheap hollow candy you can crush with a finger. Nope. This thing is a solid brick of cocoa-based comedy, perfectly designed to be both delicious and disturbing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1425\"\u003eIt’s the rare gift that’s equal parts insult and snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1427\" data-end=\"1430\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1432\" data-end=\"1460\"\u003eReal Chaos, Real People\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1464\" data-end=\"1764\"\u003e“This was the best gag gift ever !!! My poor brother-in-law called two of his friends in search of who sent it to him and he sadly had to ask if they sent him a big chocolate duck ! Then he finally called us after being shamed hahaha. It was too funny. He will never forget it and neither will we.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1766\" data-end=\"1769\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1771\" data-end=\"1788\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1790\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1790\" data-end=\"1848\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1792\" data-end=\"1848\"\u003eAnonymous pranks that don’t end in small claims court.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1849\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1851\" data-end=\"1903\"\u003eBirthday gag gifts that instantly steal the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1904\" data-end=\"1963\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1963\"\u003eBachelorette party jokes that get everyone taking pics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1964\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1966\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003eBreakup revenge that leaves them confused and sugared up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2026\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2028\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003eNeighbor feuds that taste better than they end.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2079\" data-end=\"2082\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2084\" data-end=\"2120\"\u003eHow It Goes Down (Pun Intended)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2122\" data-end=\"2339\"\u003eYou pick your preferred chocolate dick variant - milk, dark, whatever flavor you think fits their personality best. We package it discreetly, no branding, no hints. It arrives at their door looking totally innocent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2341\" data-end=\"2505\"\u003eThey open it. They freeze. They squint. Then they realize exactly what’s in front of them - and if you’re lucky, they start laughing instead of calling their mom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2507\" data-end=\"2690\"\u003eOf course, the real magic happens when they finally decide, “Screw it, I’m eating it.” Every bite is a reminder that someone out there thought about them… in this very specific way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2692\" data-end=\"2695\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2697\" data-end=\"2714\"\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2802\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2718\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003eOne 5.5 inch, 6 to 8 ounce solid chocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e made with organic ingredients.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2803\" data-end=\"2879\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2805\" data-end=\"2879\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2805\" data-end=\"2827\"\u003eAnonymous shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can enjoy the chaos without a paper trail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2880\" data-end=\"2955\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2955\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2882\" data-end=\"2908\"\u003eChoice of dick variant\u003c\/strong\u003e - because personalization matters in pranks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2958\" data-end=\"3025\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2958\" data-end=\"2994\"\u003eA story they’ll retell for years\u003c\/strong\u003e whether they want to or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3030\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3032\" data-end=\"3078\"\u003eThe 3-Step Plan to Deliver Instant Comedy\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3132\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3106\"\u003eClick “Add to Cart”\u003c\/strong\u003e - you know you want to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3133\" data-end=\"3198\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3136\" data-end=\"3198\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3136\" data-end=\"3164\"\u003ePick your chocolate dick\u003c\/strong\u003e - match the flavor to the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3199\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3202\" data-end=\"3286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3202\" data-end=\"3225\"\u003eShip it anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e - sit back, relax, and prepare for confused text messages.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3288\" data-end=\"3291\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3293\" data-end=\"3313\"\u003eThe Bottom Line\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3315\" data-end=\"3546\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3319\" data-end=\"3348\"\u003eEat a D - The Chocolate D\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just a gift. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime “WTF” moment delivered right to their door. It’s crude, it’s sweet, and it’s the only way to tell someone to shove it \u003cem data-start=\"3512\" data-end=\"3517\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e enjoy it at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3548\" data-end=\"3629\"\u003eSo stop overthinking it. \u003cstrong data-start=\"3573\" data-end=\"3590\"\u003eOrder one now\u003c\/strong\u003e and let the chocolate speak for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the D, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Classics","offers":[{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ One","offer_id":41493197258836,"sku":"CHOCODTT","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533147732,"sku":"CHOCODTT2","price":41.38,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":42632533180500,"sku":"CHOCODTT3","price":58.62,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Chocolate D \/ Five - 20% Off! 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(vs single box)","offer_id":43709252468820,"sku":"IPHONECHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ One","offer_id":44337949212756,"sku":"FABCHOCOD","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Double D's - 10% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949245524,"sku":"FABCHOCOD2","price":43.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Three - 15% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949278292,"sku":"FABCHOCOD3","price":61.17,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Five - 20% Off! (vs single box)","offer_id":44337949311060,"sku":"FABCHOCOD5","price":95.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Something Fabulous in Here \/ Ten?! 25% Off!!! 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(vs single box)","offer_id":42632541700180,"sku":"HUNGCHRISTMASCHOCODTT10","price":179.93,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0790\/0465\/files\/eat-a-dick-the-chocolate-dick-4360501.jpg?v=1761752167","url":"https:\/\/dicksbymail.com\/products\/eat-a-d-the-chocolate-d","provider":"Dicks By Mail - Anonymously mail a bag of dicks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}