Leave the recipient guessing, send a Bag of Dicks!
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Man, that party must really blow. Buy the really shitty party pack to let them know that their little moment really isn't that special because in the grand scheme of things, it really isn't. 100 years from now everyone will forget about what excitement your little friend is having over there, because we'll all be dead. Party pooper or not, let them know that you're not afraid to stand up for what is right and just. Let all of mankind know that this a shitty party.
This Party Blows - 3X
Congratu-Fucking-Lations - 3X
No One Cares - 3X
You're Old As Shit - 3X
Happy Fucking Birthday - 3X
Whoop Dee Fucking Doo - 3X
Not their birthday? Not with that attitude.