Surprise, Motherf*cker - It’s a Glitter Bomb

If you’ve ever wanted to send someone a birthday card and ruin their f*cking carpet at the same time - this is your moment.

The Happy Fucking Surprise Glitter Bomb Card is a beautifully chaotic adult greeting card that looks innocent on the outside, but explodes into a glittery hellscape of mess the second it’s opened. You’re not just sending a card - you’re sending a surprise party in a mini apocalypse.

You know that one friend who’s always bragging about their clean house or their perfectly organized desk? Or maybe your ex just moved into a new place and posted some lame-ass photo captioned “fresh start”? Send this card. Let glitter be the herpes of their environment.

Click “Add to Cart” and let the sparkly revenge begin.

Why the Hell Would I Want to Do This?

Because passive aggression is for cowards. You’re not here to send a polite card with a puppy on it. You’re here to drop a glitter nuke into someone’s birthday and leave them sweeping confetti out of their crack for a week.

Whether it’s a birthday prank, a savage breakup message, or a petty revenge surprise - the Happy Fucking Surprise Glitter Bomb Card is here to be your glitter-coated middle finger in the mail.

It’s the glitter bomb card that says “I care” and “go screw yourself” in the same sentence.

The Card That Keeps on F*cking

Here’s the thing: glitter never dies. That’s not speculation - that’s science.

So when your victim tears open this innocent-looking card and gets blast-blasted in the face with non-toxic rainbow shrapnel, they won’t just be cleaning it up today. No no. They’ll be finding glitter in their rug, their nostrils, their laundry, and probably their dog’s butthole for months. Maybe years. We don’t make the rules.

Here’s what you’re sending:

• A folded birthday glitter bomb card with a loud-ass design on the front

• Hidden glitter bomb that explodes on opening - like emotional trauma, but sparkly

• High-quality cardstock that looks classy, until it ruins everything

• Blank inside - write your own love, hate, or chaotic neutral message

• Ships 100 percent anonymously so they can’t blame you... well, not officially

• Uses non-toxic glitter - because we’re rude, not dangerous

Real People Said Real Sh*t:

“I sent it to my ex. The explosion was perfect. Glitter was everywhere. 10/10.”

“My roommate still doesn’t know it was me. She vacuumed three times. Beautiful chaos.”

“This card was worth every penny. My sister laughed and then cried while cleaning. Glorious.”

A Call to Sparkly Destruction

Here’s your sign from the universe to stop being polite and start being glittery. The Happy Fucking Surprise Glitter Bomb Card is not for the weak. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s for YOU - the person who wants to leave a trail of sparkles and confusion wherever you go.

It’s the birthday glitter bomb card that says, “Hey, happy birthday - now go vacuum your soul.”

So go ahead - hit that “Add to Cart” button. Ship a smile and a mess all in one. You’ll sleep better knowing their shoes are ruined.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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