35,00 lei RON
Nothing says “I love you” or “go choke on a candy cane” like a Valentine’s Day card that literally pops out a dick.
You’ve got two kinds of people this time of year. The ones you want to bang, and the ones you want to haunt with a permanent mental image of a cartoon cock flying out of a card. This bad boy works for both.
It’s romantic. It’s rude. It’s the emotional equivalent of flipping someone off with a smile. Whether you're breaking hearts or breaking wind, this card gets the job done.
So stop doom-scrolling and hit that add to cart button. It’s time to mail someone a throbbing paper penis.
Valentine’s Day is a joke. Not the funny kind. The overpriced dinner, chocolate-covered capitalism kind. You know what’s actually hilarious? A 3D dick popping out of a card like it’s auditioning for Magic Mike.
Whether you're heartbroken, horny, or just hate love, this card is the therapy you didn't know you needed. It’s catharsis with a penis. It’s petty revenge with paper engineering. It’s everything you didn’t know you wanted.
Don't take our word for it. The people have spoken.
“Definitely got the wow dickfactor. The perfect gift. The gift of dicks.”
“Great!”
That’s it. That’s the review. Sometimes words fail when you’ve just been emotionally smacked in the face by a Valentine’s cock grenade.
You’re not just buying a card. You’re buying chaos, closure, and comedy gold.
A folded Valentine’s Day card that proudly says “EAT A DICK”
A pop-up 3D penis that springs out like your ex’s ego
Made from sturdy cardstock so it survives transit and tantrums
Blank on the back so you can add whatever foul poetry you want
White envelope included
Ships 100 percent anonymously because plausible deniability is hot
Optional glitter add-on for maximum emotional damage
This is not a Hallmark moment. This is a Valentine’s cock cannon.
This card is perfect for:
Your ex who still follows you on Instagram
That “just friends” person who forgot your birthday
Yourself, because you deserve to laugh through the pain
Your best friend, who’s just as toxic as you
Anyone who could benefit from a little valentines cock
Because it’s not trying to be sweet. It’s not trying to be cute. It’s trying to say “Happy Valentine’s Day” while aggressively flashing a paper dick.
That’s bold. That’s art. That’s healing.
You're not sending a card. You’re sending a message. A throbbing, veiny, cardstock message. One that says, “I still care. But mostly I care that you eat a dick.”
Don’t overthink it. Buy the card. Choose the glitter if you’re feeling extra spicy. We’ll ship it out, no names attached, no regrets necessary.
Click the add to cart button. Mail the dick. Become a legend.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
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