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The holiday spirit just got a whole lot dirtier.
Forget cookies, carols, and cinnamon-scented candles. The real way to spread Christmas cheer is to send someone aChristmas Bag of Dicks and watch their wholesome holiday spirit explode into shock, laughter, and maybe a little blushing.
This is not your typical stocking stuffer. It’s alimited edition Christmas-themed bag packed with 10 deliciously chewy, perfectly inappropriate gummy dicks in festive red and green. Five red, five green, each 2.5 inches long, each screaming “Merry Dickmas” in the most edible way possible.
And yes, they actually taste amazing. So while your gift might start as a crude joke, it will probably end with someone proudly munching on a cherry or green apple gummy penis in front of the Christmas tree.
If that mental image alone doesn’t make you smash the Add to Cart button, you might be dead inside.
It’s the ultimate Christmas gag gift – way funnier than another “World’s Best Dad” mug.
It’s the perfect stocking stuffer – imagine your aunt pulling out a bag of gummy dicks in front of the whole family.
It’s versatile – works for white elephant, secret Santa, family pranks, or your “holiday party” that got out of hand.
It ships 100% anonymously – no one will know it was you unless you crack and spill the beans.
It’s Christmas morning. Someone tears open a festive little package. They expect candy canes, maybe a chocolate Santa. Instead, they’re holding abag of gummy dicks. Red. Green. Proudly 2.5 inches each.
Laughter erupts. Grandma nearly chokes on her coffee. Your cousin pulls out their phone to film the chaos. And somewhere, you’re sitting back, sipping eggnog, and grinning like the Grinch after stealing all the gifts.
This is not just candy. This is an edible punchline.
“I had just received this! I LOVE it. I go around all time telling people eat a bag of dicks.. lol so much so when I got them my 14 year old went ‘but that’s your joke’ lol I still haven’t figured out who sent them but they need a high five and some praise!! Thank you for making such a amazing gift!!”
“Great white elephant gift.”
“My friend blushed so much! It was perfect. She said the gummy candy tasted really good.”
Candy Count: 10 gummies - 5 red, 5 green
Size: 2.5 inches each (size matters)
Flavors: Cherry and green apple
Packaging: Limited edition Christmas-themed bag
Order Options: Single, double em, three, four, five, six for the whole family, eight, ten for grandma too, fifteen for all the cousins, twenty for when you’re feeling generous
Delivery: 100% anonymous for maximum mischief
Because Christmas is already a circus of weird traditions, awkward family moments, and questionable gifts. AChristmas Bag of Dicks slides right into the mix perfectly. It’s shocking, hilarious, and actually edible.
Even the people who pretend to be offended will sneak one when no one’s looking. And unlike boring candy canes, no one will forget who sent it.
Right now, there’s a stocking hanging somewhere that desperately needs abag of gummy dicks inside it. It could be your brother’s. Your best friend’s. Your white elephant victim’s.
So click Add to Cart.
Send aChristmas Bag of Dicks.
And make sure this holiday season is one they’ll never forget.
IMPORTANT: If you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*
