Dick Greeting Card - All I want for Christmas Is You

‘Tis the Season to Be Raunchy

You could give them socks. You could give them cologne. Hell, you could even give them that overpriced throw blanket with sleeves. But let’s be honest - what your partner really wants this holiday season is to laugh so hard they almost piss themselves. Enter the All I Want for Christmas Is Your Dick Greeting Card, the cheekiest, pop-up penis-packed card on the internet. Yes, there’s a dick inside. No, grandma should not open it.

This isn’t just a funny Christmas card. It’s a whole mood. A bold, unapologetic, sleigh-bell-slap to the face of boring romance. You wanna say "I love you" and "I'm horny" in one festive swoop? This is it.

Why Your Holiday Needs More D

Because the holidays are already stressful - weird relatives, dry turkey, and awkward gift exchanges. You deserve something that makes the room go silent, then erupt into uncomfortable laughter. This is more than a naughty holiday card - it's the stuff holiday legends are made of.

Picture this: they open the card expecting something wholesome. Boom - a paper peen springs up like it's ready to carol. It’s equal parts surprise, sass, and straight-up genius.

Unwrap This Holiday Horror (Story)

Last year, one of our customers dropped this gem into their partner's stocking. No name. No note. Just the message: All I Want for Christmas Is Your Dick - and a spring-loaded shaft that popped out like Rudolph had a raging boner.

The result? “Absolutely love these products such a fun gift idea!! Great service and extremely fast delivery!! Love DICKS LOL.”

We don’t know what happened afterward - probably some very weird eggnog-fueled sex - but the laughter was worth every second.

Deck the Halls with Dicks

This All I Want for Christmas Is You Card delivers more than a message. It delivers trauma. In the best way.

• Full-Frontal Festivity
  Folded greeting card with a 3D pop-up dick. The ultimate adult Christmas card for the couple that overshares.

• Printed with Love. And Hilarious Smut.
  Quality cardstock - because if you're gonna send a penis in the mail, at least make it premium.

• Ships 100% Anonymously
  Wanna be Santa’s pervy little helper without getting caught? We got you.

• Perfect for Lovers, Freaky Friends, or the Guy Who Won’t Stop Sending You "U up?" Texts
  Adult stocking stuffer? Romantic prank? Bold move? Yes, yes, and absolutely yes.

So... You Gonna Click or What?

Forget subtlety. Forget class. If you’re looking for the ultimate holiday gag that screams all I want for Christmas is dick, this is it. Send it, hide it in a stocking, or slip it in your partner’s work bag like the filthy little elf you are.

Add to cart. Send the dick. Make Christmas weird again.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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