Happy Valentine's Day Big Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card

Roses are red, violets are fine - here’s a big pop-up dick, now be mine

Tired of giving the same weak-ass Valentine’s Day card that looks like it was farted out by a Hallmark factory worker on their lunch break? Good. We’ve got something better. Way better. Introducing the Happy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card - the only card that says “I love you” by smacking your partner in the face with a literal pop-up penis.

That’s right. You open the card and - BOOM - there it is. A 3D dick. Unapologetic. Proud. Pointing directly at whoever dared to open it. It’s bold, it’s brilliant, and it’s basically Cupid if he ditched the arrows and just whipped it out.

Why Just Say “I Love You” When You Can Show It With a Card Full of Dick?

Listen, Valentine’s Day is already one of those holidays you either love, hate, or fake your way through. Whether you’re madly in love, chronically single, or just vibing through situationships - this card fits. It’s the universal language of chaos and affection all rolled into one perfect penis pop.

And let’s be real - your partner doesn’t want another teddy bear or coupon for "one free back rub." They want a card that screams, "I care about you enough to prank you with a cardboard erection." That’s love. That’s romance. That’s the Happy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card.

Picture This…

You hand them the envelope. They look at you all gooey-eyed. They’re expecting something heartfelt.

Then they open it. And the dick pops up like it’s been waiting all year for this exact moment.

They gasp. They laugh. Maybe they snort wine out of their nose. You win Valentine’s Day. Forever.

What You’re Getting (Besides Eternal Love)

• A folded Valentine’s Day card that explodes with 3D dick energy

• Printed on high-quality cardstock that screams “this isn’t your grandma’s love note”

• Fully anonymous shipping, because some things are better untraceable

• Comes in a classic envelope, just innocent enough to lure them in

• Ships fast, hits harder

Perfect for:

• Your partner with a dirty mind and zero boundaries

• Your ex (if you're still close and weird like that)

• Anyone whose idea of romance involves laughter and genital origami

• That friend who treats Valentine’s Day like a sport

• Yourself, because self-love is real and dicks are funny

A Card That’s Got Balls (Literally)

The Happy Valentine's Day Big Dick Card is not for the weak. This thing is for people who want to make a statement. Who aren’t afraid to show their love with a towering paper peen.

And best of all? It’s totally safe for work - if your workplace is a strip club or a pirate ship.

There’s a reason “valentines day dick” is one of the most searched terms on our site. People are out here looking for cards with a sense of humor and a healthy dose of shock value. And this one delivers - in every throbbing inch.

So... Wanna Make Someone’s Valentine’s Day Pop?

Click Add to Cart and send a dick that truly comes from the heart. Or from your loins. Whatever.

Get it now. Before the mail carrier starts asking questions.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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