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Petty Revenge Reddit Post

  • 2 min read

We were tagged in this post a couple of times. That's some petty revenge right there:

Try to prevent my house from selling? Enjoy the dicks.

I lived in my last house for well over a decade. There was a neighbor around the corner that was the annoying old neighbor you always hear about. He'd complain when my kids were outside playing (because they were too loud). He called the city for minor just-on-the-edge-of-allowed violations on several occasions. I kept everything within compliance, but never more than I was legally required to, and even once sat with the safety person from the city, reviewing the code in question, and measuring every dimension to make sure my shrubs weren't an inch out of compliance.

After the 5th call to the city, I asked the city to note that I had a counter-complaint regarding his incessant harassment. They noted my complaint, and I had gone the last 5 years without hearing from him again, until I put my house up for sale.

Within a day of the for sale sign going up in my yard, I got a call from my realtor about an email she received. A neighbor had emailed her to tell her that the sale wouldn't go through as the shrubs were in violation of city code, and that he'd do everything he could to prevent the sale. I told her the history with him and with the city and let her know that he didn't have any ground to stand on, but she should forward me the email to review.

I should note that until this point, I only had a guess as to which neighbor had been harassing me this entire time, but now I had his name and email address, and it was easy to confirm his address and full name. With that info, the only reasonable response to his harassment was obvious. I went to one of those cheap Chinese goods websites, found the cheapest sex toys available, and bought him a black dildo, a pink butt plug, and some anal beads. All of them had wildly different shipping dates, and even though I know that I'll never see his response it was totally worth the whole $12 spent.

The sale went through, and I'll never have to deal with that guy again. However, any time I have to plug in a street address and name for something, he'll be on my list until I forget the stress he caused me.