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Order your Bag of Dicks right from our Home page or Product Page! Thanks!


Yes mom, I'm seriously selling dicks to people online.

I don't know the address of the person I'm sending dicks to.

That's not a question, but I'm sure you can figure it out. 

How long does shipping take?

We provide shipping options for both USPS First Class and USPS Priority Mail. Your bag of dicks and other prank gifts should should typically reach it's recipient in just 2-4 business days (U.S. orders only). Please allow 7-14 business days for international orders and other merchandise (mugs, t-shirts, hats, etc.). Please also allow for 1-2 business days processing time to fulfill your bag of dicks. 

I know the address but not the postal/zip code.

Again... thats not really a question, but if you take a look at these sites you'll get what you're looking for:

Canada Postal Code - 

American Zip Code -

Who should I send a bag of dicks to?

It's been said that people, on average, are able to keep a close network of about 250 people in their lives. I recommend all of them. However, the top 10 list of people to send a bags of dicks to;

1) Your Second Best Friend
2) Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend
3) Roommates/Landlords
4) Your best Friend
5) The Westboro Baptist Church
6) Teachers
7) Your estranged father
8) Favorite Politician
9) The man that killed your father/brother/dog
10) Frank Stalone

Can I customize the message?

Nope. We feel its best if the same message is delivered to all. It keeps people guessing. 

Can I send to Europe/Asia/Australia?

YES! it costs a bit more to get it overseas but we've gotten a good rate now due to increased volume. 

Are they certified Vegan/Gluten free?


How big is your bag of dicks?

Our bag of dicks is 6 oz's and includes 25-30 gummy penises. Please don't ask us how big our dicks are, just figure it out with this information.

Are your bags of dicks with glitter edible?

Yes, the gummy penises are still edible. The package remains sealed and the glitter is inserted between the package and the envelope. Do not eat the glitter. I repeat, do not eat the glitter. 


Glucose syrup, sorbitol, Sugar, Water, Gelatin, Acid Treated Starch, Malic Acid, Citric Acid, Carnauba Wax, Artificial Flavor, Arificial colors (FD&C Red 40, Yellow 5, Yellow 6, Blue 1).



Serving size: 4 pieces (24g)

Serving per container  about 7

          Amount per Serving

Calories 76  calories from fat 0

                                           % Daily Value*

Total fat           0g

Saturday  fat    0g                  0%

Trans fat 0g

Cholesterol      0mg                0%

Sodium            0mg                0% 

Total carbohydrate 19g           6%

Dietary fiber    0g                     0%

Sugar               14g

Protein             0g

Vitamin  A        0%       vitamin C  0%

Calcium           0%       iron           0%

*Percent daily values are base on a

2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values

May be higher or lower depending on

Your sexy, sexy calorie needs.