$7.99 USD
Let’s be honest, some people don’t deserve a sweet card with kittens, balloons, or “best wishes.” They deserve a card that screams exactly what you’re thinking: “Happy Birthday DICKHEAD.” This isn’t a typo, this is a statement. A savage, hilarious, unforgettable statement in 14 pt cardstock.
So yeah, skip the polite card aisle garbage. Send this and watch their jaw drop, followed by uncontrollable laughter (or rage, which is also funny).
Buy it now and give the gift of blunt honesty with a side of petty revenge.
Because life’s too short for boring birthdays. The world doesn’t need another glittery Hallmark card about “friendship” or “getting older gracefully.” Screw that. What your buddy, sibling, roommate, or ex really needs is a brutal reminder of who they are: a complete dickhead.
This happy birthday dickhead card gets the job done. It’s sharp, it’s rude, and it’s funny as hell. Whether you’re pulling off a prank, settling a score, or just being the funniest friend in the group, this is the adult greeting card that kills.
One customer dropped this banger: “Thank you all for going above and beyond the call of duty to make sure that my dying brother-in-law got his birthday gift... even if it was late. After returning from the hospital today he thoroughly enjoyed being able to eat his tits and dicks at his leisure. Thank you again.”
That’s legendary. Dude literally came back from the hospital and his gift was a dickhead birthday surprise.
Another customer put it straight: “Excellent surprise gift! Lots of laugh!!!!”
And then there’s this gem: “I am getting it for my best friend but she is a girl wondering if u have one for woman or are they unisex.” Short answer: yes, calling someone a dickhead is 100% unisex. If you’ve got a head, you can be a dickhead.
A 4.25 x 5.5 inch folded greeting card printed with “Happy Birthday DICKHEAD”
Made of quality double-sided 14 pt cardstock so it feels legit and sturdy
Blank inside so you can write something even meaner, funnier, or borderline incriminating
Comes with a white envelope ready to mail or hand deliver
Ships 100 percent anonymously, because you don’t always want to get caught being the savage you are
A birthday prank that lands harder than a tequila hangover
An anonymous surprise for the jerk who deserves it
A white elephant gift that nobody will top
A petty revenge play on someone who had it coming
An adult greeting card for people who can actually take a joke
Or just your way of saying happy birthday dick pic without actually sending one
“Thank you all for going above and beyond the call of duty to make sure that my dying brother-in-law got his birthday gift… After returning from the hospital today he thoroughly enjoyed being able to eat his tits and dicks at his leisure. Thank you again.”
“Excellent surprise gift! Lots of laugh!!!!”
“I am getting it for my best friend but she is a girl wondering if u have one for woman or are the unisex.”
Look, anyone can buy a lame “Over the Hill” card with a picture of a cake or some boring joke about age. But those get tossed in the trash. This card? This card is legendary. People take pictures of it, they show it to friends, they remember it years later.
It’s the card that says exactly what you want to say but with better timing. Whether you’re roasting your best friend, your sibling, or your ex, this happy birthday dickhead card nails the vibe.
Stop wasting money on sentimental nonsense. Birthdays are about laughs, not sap. The Happy Birthday DICKHEAD Greeting Card is the best way to make someone laugh, cry, and question your friendship all in one shot.
Click Add to Cart now and make sure the next birthday party you crash is one they’ll never forget.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
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