Tits The Season Pop Up Boob Card

Deck the Halls with Tits and Giggles

You ever open a Christmas card and get smacked in the face with a pair of pop-up boobs? No? Well, welcome to a new holiday tradition, you filthy animal.

The Tits The Season Pop Up Boob Card is exactly what your holiday gift list didn’t know it needed. It’s cheerful. It’s cheeky. It’s got 3D boobs inside. And it ships anonymously, so you can make someone’s Christmas weird as hell without ever catching a case of the shame sweats.

Give it to your partner. Your best friend. That one pervy cousin. Or just send it to yourself because you’ve earned it, you magnificent holiday gremlin.

Click “Add to Cart” and start making Santa’s naughty list look like a damn yearbook.

Why This Card is the Breast Gift You’ll Ever Give

Listen, Christmas is already weird. Half the music sounds like it was written by horny elves. Everyone’s drinking eggnog out of moose cups. So why not go all in and send someone an adult Christmas card that opens up to a literal pair of 3D pop-up boobs?

It’s the gift that keeps on giving - mostly because no one can stop laughing, cringing, or trying to figure out if the nipples are scratch-n-sniff. (They’re not. Please don’t sniff the card.)

Whether you’re looking for a Christmas gag gift, a funny stocking stuffer, or the ultimate Secret Santa prank, this bad boy delivers the goods. And by goods, we mean boobs.

One Customer Said It Best:

“Perfect for a funny holiday card.”

Short. Sweet. Accurate. Just like the boobs in this card.

What’s Inside (Besides Boobs)

• A folded greeting card with TITS THE SEASON front and center, because subtlety is for cowards

• A glorious 3D pop-up boob surprise inside, sculpted like a masterpiece from the Vatican of vulgarity

• A plain white envelope to hide the depravity until it’s too late

• Made of quality cardstock, because even offensive things can be classy

• Ships 100 percent anonymously, so you can pop someone’s holiday spirit without popping your identity

Tits the Season to Be Inappropriate

Still unsure whether this is a good idea? Let’s run through a few totally valid holiday scenarios:

• You forgot a gift for your boyfriend? Boom - pop-up tits. Problem solved.

• Your bestie just got dumped before Christmas? Send boobs - it heals.

• White Elephant party with adults who drink way too much spiked cider? This card is winning that whole damn game.

• Want to ruin someone’s ultra-religious holiday? We didn’t say it, but… you thought it.

This card is festive. It’s flirty. It’s funnier than anything you’ll get from Hallmark, and way less depressing than your Aunt Susan’s annual family newsletter.

Add to Cart or You’re Dead to Me

You’re here. You made it this far. That means your sick little brain is already picturing someone opening this card and getting a surprise pair of pop-up boobs to the face.

So stop pretending you’re above this and click “Add to Cart.” Or better yet, grab a few and send boobs to multiple people. It’s the most tit-ful time of the year, after all.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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