$7.99 USD
Roses are red, violets are blue, open this card… and smell literal poo.
There are pranks… and then there’s sending a fart by mail so foul it could knock a raccoon out of a dumpster. The Roses Are Red - Shitty Fart Card isn’t subtle. It isn’t kind. It’s a full-on stink grenade disguised as a sweet little love poem. You’re not just sending a card, you’re sending a chemical-level relationship ender, an olfactory assault, a bouquet of hell straight to their mailbox.
Whether it’s for an ex, a sibling, a frenemy, or that one person who still owes you $20 from 2018, this card will get your point across without you ever having to say a word. You just sit back and wait for the angry text that says, “WTF is wrong with you?” and know in your heart… you’ve won.
Send this today. Let your victim gag, curse your name, and then admit it was actually pretty funny.
It’s anonymous so you can remain the mysterious stink dealer.
The smell? Horrifying. Like gym socks left in a swamp.
Works for birthdays, breakups, revenge, or just to ruin someone’s afternoon.
They can’t un-smell it. Ever.
This isn’t some weak “haha” greeting card. This is a fart spray card that releases a cloud of weaponized nastiness the second it’s opened. They’ll think it’s a joke… until the smell hits. Then they’ll realize it’s not a joke. It’s war.
You order.
We stuff the card with potent fart spray that smells like Satan’s armpit.
We mail it anonymously to your lucky target.
They open it, the stink bomb goes off, and chaos ensues.
No return address. No way to trace it. Just you, sitting on your couch, laughing like a maniac.
"Sent anonymously and everything I expected. Thank."
"I mailed this wonderful card to my ex boyfriend and he has finally left me alone. It was worth every penny."
"My sister never saw it coming, I practically shit in her face and now she tells everyone that she has the best brother ever ;)"
4.25 x 5.5 inch double-sided cardstock
Rigged with potent fart spray for maximum stink power
Ships 100% anonymously
Perfect for breakups, sibling wars, petty revenge, or birthday laughs
You could send a boring “Thinking of You” card… or you could send a fart card that smells like the end of the world.
The choice is obvious.
Click “Add to Cart” now and drop the stink bomb of the year.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
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