Calm Your Tits! - Stress Tits

Life’s hard. Your tits shouldn’t be.

Ever wanted to scream into a pillow but you're at work? Stuck in traffic? On the toilet at your in-laws' house pretending to care about their dog’s new sweater? Yeah, we get it. That’s why we made the Calm Your Tits Stress Tits – a pair of squishy, bouncy, beautifully boob-shaped stress balls you can squeeze, fondle, and yeet across the room when someone pushes your last damn button.

This isn’t just some dumb stress toy – it’s a boob-shaped therapy session you can hold in your hands. And yes, they come with nipples. Realistic ones. Because we respect the boob.

Grab a pair today. Squeeze your stress away, one titty at a time.

Because Adulting Is a Full-Time Stress Boner

You’ve tried meditation. You’ve tried deep breathing. You even rage-quit your yoga class after Carol “accidentally” farted during downward dog again.

It’s time for the only real solution left: a titty in each hand.

The Calm Your Tits boob stress balls are the ultimate gag gift for anxiety relief. Perfect for that friend who lives in chaos, the coworker who needs to unclench, or your ex who clearly needs to relax and touch some boobs for once in their life. (No judgment, just vibes.)

Squeeze ‘Em Like You Mean It

These stress boob balls don’t mess around. They’re round, they’re soft, and they’re so damn squishy it’s basically therapy in 3-inch form.

Product Details:

• Pair of squishy tit stress balls (that’s right - plural, we don’t do single boobs here)

• “CALM YOUR TITS” printed right on ‘em in all caps, like a loving slap to your emotional face

• Realistic nipple detail (because we don’t half-ass tits)

• Ships 100 percent anonymously - even your mailman won’t know you’re a stressed-out boob freak

• Optional gold insert message up to 140 characters if you wanna drop some sass, shade, or sweet nothings

Use Cases You’ll Actually Use:

• Pranking your anxious bestie who cries at commercials

• Revenge gift for an ex who needs to get over themselves

• Throwing at your boss during a Zoom call (we didn’t tell you to do that)

• Fidgeting through another trash Tinder date

• Stress relief between rage screams during holiday family gatherings

• White elephant exchange where you actually win

Real Reviews (Probably From People Who’ve Touched a Tit or Two):

“Gave it to my girlfriend after she had a meltdown over a missing sock. She laughed, then squeezed them for 20 minutes. Crisis averted.”

“I kept one tit and gave the other to my coworker. We now squeeze them in sync during meetings. HR has no idea.”

“Soft, firm, and surprisingly comforting. Like boobs should be.”

Don’t Let Stress Bust Your Balls - Grab Some Tits Instead

Listen, you could do yoga. You could journal. Or you could grab a handful of tits and let your rage melt like butter on hot pancakes.

The Calm Your Tits stress boob balls are hilarious, weirdly satisfying, and the perfect novelty anxiety relief gift for the emotionally unhinged in your life.

Click “Add to Cart” now and give your hands the gift of boobs - because therapy is expensive, but titty stress balls are cheap and way more fun.