Offensive Crayons

Tired of coloring like a basic bitch? Say hello to the only box of crayons that can get you canceled at brunch.

These aren’t your kid’s Crayola 12-pack. These are Offensive Crayons - 24 jaw-droppingly inappropriate wax sticks with color names that will make your grandma cry, your HR rep sweat, and your inner asshole laugh like a maniac.

Whether you're stress coloring after a breakup or roasting your dumb coworker with a sarcastic stocking stuffer, this box of dark humor crayons will hit harder than your ex’s therapist bill.

So go on - click “Add to Cart” before someone reports this product to the FCC.

Why You Need These Foul Little F*ckers

Because adulting is hard and overpriced therapy doesn’t come with a free coloring book.

Coloring used to be your happy place - now it’s your sarcastic hellscape of coping. These offensive crayons are here to help you process all of life’s bullsh*t with hilariously vulgar color names and a box that proudly screams, “I'm unwell and proud.”

Perfect for adult coloring nights, gag gifts, passive-aggressive revenge presents, or just flipping off the universe in waxy, technicolor glory.

The World’s Most Inappropriate Rainbow

Let’s be honest - nobody needs another "sky blue" or "sunshine yellow." You need colors like:

• Miscarriage Maroon

• Racist Raspberry

• Caucasian Skin Tone

• Slightly Yellow but Still White Enough to Get Privilege Peach

Yes, it’s real. And yes, it’s glorious.

Inside the Box:

• 24 wickedly inappropriate offensive crayon names that’ll offend at least one person per shade

• Vegan-friendly and gluten-free, because even degenerates like you deserve ethical wax

• Totally non-toxic, unlike your last relationship

• Optional adult-themed coloring book for even more inappropriate fun

• Comes in a slick box that fits in a stocking, gift bag, or petty revenge package

• Ships 100 percent anonymously - keep ‘em guessing, coward

Real Reviews from Fellow Degenerates

“Sent this to my friend and he absolutely loved it!!! He thought this was the best gift ever!!”

“I received the coloring book and crayons and love them both!!! I am the envy of my friends.”

“Excellent product. Will buy more for Christmas presents.”

See? You’re not alone in being emotionally unstable and delightfully immature.

Give the Gift of “What the Actual F*ck?”

You ever open a gift and instantly question your friendship? That’s the kind of chaotic joy Offensive Crayons deliver.

They’re bold. They’re wrong. They’re the best decision you’ll make this year. Give them to your boyfriend who thinks he’s edgy. Send them to your boss who definitely deserves it. Bring them to the next adult coloring party and own the room like a walking HR violation.

Color your feelings, your rage, your existential crisis. Just don’t color inside the lines - that’s for emotionally stable people.

Last Chance Before Regret Kicks In

You’ve scrolled this far. Which means deep down, you know these dark humor crayons belong in your life. Maybe it’s for you. Maybe it’s for your unhinged bestie. Either way, you’re one click away from sending the filthiest crayon pack on the planet.

Click "Add to Cart" now and offend someone you love. Or hate. Or whatever - we don’t judge. But the crayons do.