Eat a Dick Pillow

Cuddle Up and Go F**k Yourself (Politely)

You know what your couch is missing? A glittery, passive-aggressive middle finger disguised as home decor.

Meet the Eat a Dick Pillow - a gold sequin throw pillow that tells it like it is. Stroke it one way, and you’ve got a classy, shiny accent piece. Brush it the other way, and BAM - it screams EAT A DICK right in the face of your roommate, ex, or that one relative who just won’t shut up at Thanksgiving.

This isn’t a pillow. This is a weaponized snuggle bomb of petty revenge and adult humor wrapped in sequins.

Click Add to Cart now and give your home the unapologetic edge it deserves.

The Pettiest Pillow on the Internet

There are regular throw pillows, and then there’s this majestic slab of vengeance. You don’t buy the Eat a Dick Pillow for comfort. You buy it because you're tired of subtlety. This is not Restoration Hardware - this is Revenge Hardware.

• Roommate keeps “forgetting” to pay rent? Pillow.

• Just broke up with someone who sucks in every way? Pillow.

• Need a white elephant gift that wins the damn party? Pillow.

This thing doesn’t whisper. It yells. In sequins.

A Real-Life Story (Probably)

Let’s say your ex still swings by “to get the last of their stuff” which has now turned into three months of “accidental drop-ins.”

You don’t yell. You don’t block their number. You don’t even key their car.

You place this glittery bad boy right on your sofa. They walk in, see it, go silent, and you smile. It’s not petty. It’s therapy - with sequins.

Why the Eat a Dick Pillow Is a F**king Masterpiece

• Gold reversible sequins - classy AF until you stroke it the wrong (or very right) way

• Hidden message - reveals “EAT A DICK” like a glittery secret agent

• Totally anonymous shipping - your grandma won’t know you’re evil

• Conversation starter - or conversation ender, depending on who sees it

• Vibe check approved - one glance and your guests know not to mess

Use Cases for Your Dick-tastic Throw Pillow

• Breakup Statement Piece - Why cry when you can decorate?

• Petty Revenge Gift - For the friend who got ghosted and needs a win

• Passive-Aggressive Roommate Decor - Because talking it out is overrated

• White Elephant Party Banger - Watch HR try to pretend they’re not laughing

• Funny Bedroom Pillow - Nothing says “romance” like adult humor in glitter

Make Your Couch F**king Interesting

Let’s be real. Most home decor is boring. Beige pillows. Neutral tones. Blah blah Pottery Barn. No one walks into your apartment and remembers your sage green lumbar cushion.

But a sequin pillow that tells people to eat a dick? Oh, they’ll remember. They’ll talk about it. They might even take a picture and tag you on Instagram.

This isn’t just a funny throw pillow. It’s a lifestyle choice. A bold, sparkly statement that says, “I’m fabulous, unbothered, and full of righteous rage.”

Last Chance to Be a Glittery Menace

Still debating? Let me help.

• It’s hilarious.

• It’s petty.

• It’s reversible revenge.

• And it looks great next to your passive-aggressive “Live Laugh Love” sign.

So yeah, buy the Eat a Dick Pillow and let your home say what your mouth sometimes can’t.

Click Add to Cart and start throwing shade from the comfort of your couch. No long talks. No confrontation. Just sequins and sweet, silent vengeance.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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