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Because nothing says “congratulations” quite like a solid chocolate penis in a gift box.
This isn’t flowers. This isn’t a card. This is a gluten free Peruvian cacao cock that screams “I’m proud of you” in the most inappropriate, unforgettable way possible. Whether they got a new job, finished school, or finally broke up with that human dumpster fire they were dating, this is how you celebrate with maximum laughter.
You could give them champagne. You could give them a watch. But you’re better than that. You’re here to give them a 4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce chocolate dick that will live rent-free in their brain forever.
Add to Cart now and deliver the only “Congrats” they’ll still be laughing about years later.
Ridiculously funny - perfect balance of shock value and sweetness
Actually delicious - made from gluten free Peruvian cacao
Themed for celebration - comes in a “Congrats” gift box so it’s classy… kind of
Anonymous shipping - you get all the laughs, none of the blame
Picture this. Your buddy gets a small package. They’re expecting maybe a mug, a tie, or a boring fruit basket. They open it.
Bam. A chocolate penis. Staring back at them. Mocking them.
They burst out laughing. They take pictures. They send them to the group chat. They maybe even take a very questionable selfie with it. You’ve just created a moment. One that’s going to get retold at every party, family gathering, and drunken night out for the next decade.
And you? You’re just sitting there, sipping coffee, knowing you’ve just won the gift-giving game forever.
"Sent a big ol chocolate dick to my buddy in Florida, got sent pics of my pal deep throating that bad boy, totally worth it."
"Amazing 🤩 It was for my co worker’s last day at work and she loved it! Couldn’t stop laughing."
"Recipient loved it. Very surprised."
4 to 5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce solid chocolate penis
Made from gluten free Peruvian cacao - rich, smooth, and dangerously good
Congrats-themed gift box that makes it look like you’re being wholesome
Ships 100 percent anonymously - no name, no trace, just mystery
A perfect mix of prank and actual edible gift
Because it’s personal and petty at the same time. Sure, they’ll laugh. But they’ll also actually eat it. And that’s the beauty of it - it’s a hilarious joke and a genuinely tasty treat.
This is a gift that gets a reaction. It’s not going to sit in a drawer. It’s going to be the center of attention. It’s going to make their day better, funnier, and slightly more awkward.
Skip the boring congratulations card. Skip the predictable bottle of wine. Go big. Go bold. Go chocolate dick.
Click Add to Cart. Send it. Sit back.And enjoy knowing you just gave them the most inappropriate, perfectly-timed “Congrats” of their life.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*
