Be Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick

Be Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick: The Valentine’s Day Gift They’ll Never Forget

Roses are red, violets are blue, here’s a chocolate dick… now choke on it, boo.

If you’re tired of boring Valentine’s Day gifts, it’s time to level up from heart-shaped boxes and cheap teddy bears. The Be Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick box is the ultimate blend of romance, roast, and ridiculousness. It’s sweet. It’s offensive. And it’s guaranteed to get a bigger reaction than any bouquet ever could.

Whether you’re playing the flirty lover, the sarcastic friend, or the petty ex with a wicked sense of humor, this solid chocolate penis is your ticket to an unforgettable Valentine’s moment.

Order now. Ship anonymously. Watch the chaos unfold.

Why This Chocolate Dick Beats Flowers Any Day

Think about it, flowers die in a week. This chocolate dick? It gets devoured in minutes… and lives forever in their memory.

It’s more than just candy. It’s a statement. It says:

• “I like you… but I also like messing with you.”

• “I’m not afraid to make Valentine’s Day weird.”

• “Here’s a penis. You’re welcome.”

Made from organic ingredients, this 4 to 5.5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce solid chocolate masterpiece is handcrafted to perfection. It’s delicious, inappropriate, and wrapped in a cute pink pixel-heart Valentine’s box, the perfect disguise for what’s inside.

Real Reviews from People Who Have No Regrets

“My friend was shocked and pleased. Her mother, who was there when she opened it, is forever disappointed in my choices! Worth every penny.”
“Excellent gift.”
“Little did I know my friend would find this a choking hazard while he gobbled on it!!!! LOL”

Perfect For:

• Valentine’s Day pranks that walk the line between love and chaos.

• Romantic gag gifts for partners who don’t take life too seriously.

• Galentine’s Day surprises for the girlfriends who deserve both candy and a laugh.

• Breakup revenge, sweet, petty, and oh-so satisfying.

• Anyone you love enough to offend.

How It Goes Down (Pun Intended)

Picture this: your Valentine gets a delivery. The packaging is cute, sweet, and oh-so Valentine’s. They’re expecting chocolates, maybe a cute card. They open the box… and boom. Solid chocolate penis. The room goes silent for a second, then there’s laughter, disbelief, and probably a few blushes.

They either eat it immediately or take a photo and post it online for the world to see. Either way, you’ve just won Valentine’s Day.

What You Get

• One solid chocolate penis - 4 to 5.5 inches of sweet, edible art.

• Organic ingredients - because even jokes deserve quality.

• Cute Valentine’s packaging - a pink pixel-heart box hiding the surprise inside.

• Discreet shipping - they’ll never know it was you… unless you want them to.

The Game Plan

1. Add to cart - commit to the chaos.

2. Ship anonymously - plausible deniability is sexy.

3. Wait for the reaction - you’ll know when it happens.

4. Bask in your genius - because you just nailed Valentine’s Day.

Final Word: This is How You Make February 14th Legendary

The Be Mine - Eat a Chocolate Dick is not your average Valentine’s gift. It’s a mix of sugar, sass, and pure comedic gold. Whether you’re looking to make your partner laugh, your friends scream, or your ex question all their life choices, this is the one.

So forget the predictable flowers and candy hearts. This year, send them something they’ll actually remember.

💘 Click “Add to Cart” now and make Valentine’s Day awkward in the best way possible.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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