Eat a Bag of Dicks Coloring Book!

Eat a Bag of Dicks Coloring Book! - The Most Offensive Stress Relief You’ll Ever Love

Look, adult coloring books are supposed to be relaxing. Zen. Meditative. But what if your “mindful art time” involved 75 pages of ridiculous, unapologetic cartoon dicks? Welcome to the Eat a Bag of Dicks Coloring Book! - the only coffee table coloring book that’s equal parts stress relief, laughter therapy, and “holy crap, did they really just draw that?”

If you’re looking for a birthday gag gift, a petty breakup present, or just something to make your adult “me time” a lot more inappropriate, this is it. It’s printed on thick, artist-quality paper so your markers, crayons, or colored pencils glide like a dream. And the best part? Every order comes with a free bag of gummy dicks because you deserve to snack while you color your way through a parade of penises.

Click Add to Cart now and make your next coloring session unforgettable, crude, and borderline therapeutic.

Why You Need This in Your Life

Because regular coloring books are boring. This isn’t flowers and mandalas - this is page after page of hand-drawn cartoon dicks doing everything from riding skateboards to wearing tiny hats. It’s the kind of book you bring out at parties, bachelorette weekends, or when you’ve had a crap day and just need to laugh until your sides hurt.

• 75 original dick illustrations - no repeats, no lazy copy-paste

• Full-size 8.5 x 11 inches - big pages for big laughs

• Premium thick paper - won’t bleed through when you go wild with markers

• Free bag of gummy dicks - snack while you color

• Ships 100 percent anonymously - because some people just won’t understand your genius

• Perfect for birthdays, revenge, or “just because” gifts

The Scene You’re Creating

Picture this: You’re hanging out with friends, someone sees this coloring book on your coffee table, and suddenly a chill night turns into an hours-long inappropriate art session. Or maybe you send it anonymously to your ex with a note that says “Thought you could use something to keep your hands busy.”

Or maybe, like one of our reviewers, you send it to a friend recovering in the hospital, and the thing gets lost in the chaos. Instead of just shrugging, we send them a new coloring book, crayons, and dick candies straight to their home. Because customer service, but make it filthy.

Real Reviews from Repeat Offenders

• “I got this fantastic coloring book for a friend who needed some cheering up. Most definitely did do that! But the best thing that ever happened was that I had originally sent this to the hospital. But it got lost somewhere at the hospital. Your awesome company sent my friend a new coloring book and crayons, along with some dick candies to her house once she was home. That is beyond the best customer service I could ever ask for. Thank you for cheering up my friend. I will definitely be ordering again.”

• “Omg this is seriously the best coloring book ever!!!! I love every single page!!! I highly recommend it to everyone!!”

• “Absolutely love this coloring book!! It's so funny and makes my adult away time so much more fun.”

Perfect For

• Birthday gag gifts that people actually use

• Breakup revenge that’s more funny than mean

• Stress relief for people with a dirty sense of humor

• Anonymous surprises that get people talking

• Bachelorette parties that need an activity and a laugh

What You’re Getting

• Full-size 8.5 x 11 inch coloring book

• 75 original illustrations of cartoon dicks in hilarious situations

• Thick, artist-quality paper that’s perfect for any coloring medium

• Free bag of gummy dicks with every order

• Ships completely anonymously

• Guaranteed laughs or at least some very weird looks from anyone who sees it

Why It Works Every Single Time

Because it’s unexpected, it’s outrageous, and it turns something as wholesome as coloring into a filthy, laugh-until-you-snort experience. This isn’t a gift they’ll shove in a drawer - it’s a gift they’ll whip out whenever they want to feel better, kill time, or shock new guests.

So don’t just color inside the lines - color a page full of cartoon dicks while eating candy ones.

Click Add to Cart now and give yourself (or someone else) the kind of creative therapy you can’t find at Michael’s.