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Some birthday cards say, “Hope all your wishes come true.”
This one says:
“Happy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Dick.”
And then comes the glitter.
Meet the Big Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card, the birthday prank for that one friend who absolutely does not deserve a normal greeting card.
It looks innocent enough when it arrives. They open it expecting a nice birthday message.
Instead, they get roasted and showered in glitter.
Because getting older is already bad enough.
You might as well make it worse.
Anyone can send a funny birthday card.
The problem?
Most greeting card jokes last about five seconds.
Read joke. Laugh. Throw card away.
Not this one.
The Big Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card turns a simple birthday roast into an experience.
First, they read the message.
Then comes the glitter.
Then comes the realization that they're going to be finding tiny sparkling reminders of you for a very, very long time.
That's what we call a gift that keeps on giving.
Savage birthday message featuring the unforgettable “Happy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Dick” design
Glitter bomb surprise waiting inside the card
Premium cardstock so it looks like a legitimate birthday card
Matching envelope to keep the prank looking innocent
Perfect NSFW birthday gift for friends, boyfriends, husbands, brothers, roommates, and anyone else who can take a joke
Anonymous shipping available when you'd rather let them wonder who ruined their day
No boring birthday poem.
No inspirational quote about getting older.
Just a tiny dick joke and an unreasonable amount of glitter.
You already know who you're thinking about.
The friend who talks too much.
The brother who's been annoying you since childhood.
The boyfriend who thinks he's hilarious.
The coworker who started the prank war.
The buddy turning 30, 40, 50, or old enough that reminding him about his tiny dick somehow feels even funnier.
This is the funny birthday prank card you send when “Happy Birthday” just isn't enough.
Cake is out.
Drinks are flowing.
Everyone's opening gifts.
Then your victim picks up your innocent-looking card.
They open it.
They read:
“Happy Birthday to You and Your Tiny Dick.”
Everyone laughs.
And then...
GLITTER.
Now the birthday boy has been publicly roasted and covered in sparkly evidence.
Cake: $30.
Beer: $20.
Watching your friend process what just happened?
Priceless.
Socks get forgotten.
Gift cards get spent.
Normal birthday cards end up in the trash.
But glitter?
Glitter has commitment.
They'll find it on the floor.
They'll find it on their clothes.
They'll probably find one random piece three months from now and immediately remember exactly which asshole sent this card.
That's brand recall.
You could send something thoughtful.
You could act mature.
You could acknowledge that everyone is getting older and maybe it's time to grow up.
Or...
You could send them the Big Birthday, Tiny Dick Glitter Bomb Card.
We both know which one is more fun.
Add it to your cart and give them the birthday surprise they absolutely didn't ask for.
Make sure you actually put your recipient’s name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer.*
***NOTE: If you are ordering the card activated, we assume the next person who opens the card is the recipient. That means, when the card is opened next, it will be triggered and you will not be able to turn the sound off.***
