Broke Dick - The Discount Chocolate Dick

Broke Dick - The Discount Chocolate Dick

Here's the deal.

We make chocolate dicks. Every batch, a few come out ugly or are broken in shipping. Think air bubbles, or balls broken off. The kind of thing you can blame on us and say you sent a regular one, but it came messed up. Totally not your fault, it’s the thought that counts!

Rather than throw them away, we sell them to you. Cheap. 

That's theBroke Dick.

What you get

• Real chocolate. Not waxy garbage. It legitimately tastes good.

• Shipped anonymous. Plain packaging. They don't know it's you unless you tell them to.

• Misshapen Dick. Hey my girlfriend said it wasperfect.

The only difference between this and our full-price dick? Looks. It's the dented can. The rental car with 90k miles. It works. It ships. It delivers the message.

Why ugly is the whole point

Someone opens a box. There's a chocolate dick inside. It's lopsided. It'svisibly the budget option.

The message that lands isn't just "eat a dick."

It's "eat a dick - and you weren't worth the nice one."

That's a two-for-one insult

Who this is broken chocolate dick for

• Thebroke friend whose birthday is coming up and who deservessomething - just not something good

• Your ex. Obviously.

• The coworker who microwaves fish

• Whoever won your fantasy league

• Your brother, for reasons he already knows

• The group chat member who got out of line

Somebody did something. You want them to know. You have eleven dollars. This is the product.

Common questions

Is it actually edible?
Yes. It's real chocolate and it's good. Only the shape suffered.

Will they know it's from me?
Not unless you let them know. We tell them nothing. (subject to Terms and Conditions, please don’t get us sued…. Again… 

How ugly is it?
Ugly enough to be funny. Not ugly enough to be a crime. Every one is different — that's the fun.

Just buy it

You've been thinking about a specific person this entire page. That's who it's for.

Pick your target. Write your message. We handle the rest. They open a box, find a janky chocolate dick, and something in them changes forever.

Being broke is temporary. Receiving an anonymous, structurally-compromisedchocolate dick in the mail is permanent.

Some people deserve to eat a dick. Some people only deserve a Broke Dick.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the D, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*