David Penis Shorts

Michelangelo didn’t sculpt these thighs. But he could’ve. 🍆🗿

Slip into a pair of shorts so boldly hung, even the Renaissance would blush. The David Penis Shorts are an absolute masterpiece in bad taste—and we mean that in the best possible way.

Printed with the lower half of that statue (yes, that one), these absurdly realistic shorts feature one iconic, stone-cold donger dangling front and center. Perfect for pool parties, gym days, or emotionally scarring your roommates.

Highlights:

• Breathable, stretchy fabric (room for your real junk + his)

• Highly detailed print—uncomfortably so

• Guaranteed double-takes and/or therapy bills

Great for:

• Gag gifts with balls

• Bachelor parties & bad decisions

• People who peaked in art history class

Throw ‘em on. Let David hang out.
And remember: fashion fades—but this bulge is eternal.

🇮🇹 Italian Flag David Shorts
Wrap your junk in national pride. The Italian flag hugs David’s little Roman Empire like a marble masterpiece. Perfect for pasta lovers and public indecency.

🟤 Beige David Shorts
Subtle, skin-toned, and wildly disturbing. These realistic shorts make it look like you are the statue—if the statue drank light beer and had WiFi.

🇮🇹 Goliath Italian Flag Shorts
David, but bigger. Way bigger. These shorts crank the print size (and the dong) to Goliath proportions. Same flag, more hang time. You're welcome/I’m sorry.

🍆 Goliath David Shorts
No distractions—just an absurdly large, full-color David donger stretched across your thighs like a renaissance billboard. It’s art. It’s trauma. It’s glorious.

Unisex - "One Size Fits All"