$4.99 USD
Let’s be real. Sometimes, “cheers” just doesn’t cut it. Sometimes you need to send a crystal-clear, ice-cold message while you’re literally keeping your beer cold. That’s where the Eat a Bag of Dicks Can Cooler comes in.
It’s bold. It’s blunt. It’s the koozie equivalent of flipping someone off with both hands while chugging a frosty one. Whether you’re at a tailgate, bachelor party, BBQ, or just sitting on the porch watching the neighbor mow his lawn in jorts, this thing is guaranteed to get a reaction.
Bottom line? For $4.99, you can tell the world exactly how you feel - and keep your drink at peak chill while doing it.
🎯 Stop scrolling, toss this bad boy in your cart, and be that legend at the next party.
Because “polite” is overrated.
Because your friends don’t laugh enough.
Because your beer deserves better than some boring plain foam sleeve.
The Eat a Bag of Dicks Can Cooler isn’t just a drink accessory - it’s a conversation starter, an icebreaker, and a middle finger all rolled into one glorious little neoprene package. It fits any standard 12 oz can, works on soda or beer (but let’s be honest, you’re using it for beer), and comes in colors that match whatever flavor of chaos you’re serving that day.
One badass can cooler printed with “Eat a Bag of Dicks” in big, unapologetic letters.
Multiple color options - red, gray, black - so you can coordinate with your mood or your team.
Universal fit for any standard 12 oz can.
Durable and functional - keeps drinks cold, hands warm, and attitudes spicy.
Ships discreetly - so the mailman doesn’t think you’ve completely lost it.
“Thank you so much, my item got lost in shipping and you were kind enough to resend it and add a little extra gift.”
“Well received and appreciated by all who have came in contact with your products. 😃”
“A sure 5 star rating in other colors. 😀👍”
The people have spoken - this cooler is more than just a gag, it’s a crowd-pleaser.
White elephant gifts - watch grandma try not to laugh.
Bachelor parties - because nothing says “last night of freedom” like a cooler full of insults.
Birthday gags - especially for that friend who “doesn’t want gifts.”
Tailgates - keep it classy while talking trash to the other team.
Stocking stuffers - Santa’s on the naughty list this year.
Imagine you’re at a party. The music’s good, drinks are flowing, and someone says, “Hey, cool koozie.” They lean in, read it, and spit beer through their nose. You’ve just made a memory, my friend. And every time that cooler comes out of the drawer, someone’s gonna laugh, roll their eyes, or take a picture for Instagram.
This isn’t just foam around a can - it’s your personality in drinkware form.
Slip it on your drink like a tiny, sarcastic jacket.
Hold it up proudly - don’t hide it, the world needs to see this.
Enjoy the reactions - laughter, groans, high-fives, or even the occasional “you’re going to hell.”
Rinse and repeat - this baby’s reusable, so keep it handy.
The Eat a Bag of Dicks Can Cooler is funny, functional, and stupidly affordable. You’ll use it more than you think, and you’ll laugh every single time you do. And because it’s just $4.99, you can grab extras for your friends, your enemies, or anyone who deserves a frosty, foam-wrapped “fuck you.”
🍺 Add to cart now and start serving your drinks with a side of attitude.
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