My friend swears he’s a local celebrity and that people send him fanmail all the time - absolute grounds for a chocolate dicking. His mother opened it…she thinks less of him now. 10/10
This was the best dick ever. There person that received it loved taking it deep. It really stretched out his throat. He took videos slowing taking it down and it melted ever so smoothly down his throat.
What a glorious gift! Sent to my husband the last time we were in a fight - we both got a good laugh out of it when it arrived. I highly recommend this product!
I LOOOOVED IT!!! I send it to a very good friends and he loved it so bad! He ended up eating mine too!!!!!
Did not disappoint! Great gag gift! Completely anonymous!
Hilarious ! Service is awesome !
The recipient was super excited to receive this gift
Sister still doesn't know who sent it.
Michael B C.
The guy was a dick boss and his wife loved to sux dick even If it wasn't his LOL So this was the perfect gift !
Perfect, this gift really got my enemy fired up. Dude blew a gasket because I addressed it to John Assface so the mailman would see it. Worked so well that I ordered a bag of dicks addressed to John TheCowardlyPunk. John Lucas is a bitch, and these gifts sent him over the edge!
BOUGHT THIS FOR MY BUDDIES BIRTHDAY AND HAD IT SENT TO WORK, OBVIOUSLY HAD TO WARN THE LADY IN CHARGE OF THE OFFICE CAUSE SHE USUALLY OPENS THE MAIL BEFORE DISTRIBUTING IT OUT. HE ABSOLULTELY LOVED IT!!! AMAZED THAT A FEW DAYS LATER THAT WE ALL DECIDED TO BREAK IT UP AND EAT IT. THE VEINY CHOCOLATE SHAFT WAS REALLY TASTY! CAN'T EXPRESS HOW AWESOME OF A GIFT THIS IS.
Have been getting these for my brother for his birthday every couple of years. Has no clue it’s me and has gone crazy trying to figure out who sent them
Perfect gag gift! No.. Don’t try that.. ;)
It did not arrive in the birthday box so there was minor confusion.
thank you fast delivery and lots of laughs
Loved it! Sure sent the perfect message lol
If your sending to Florida keep in mind that possible melting will occur as it did with the chocolate dick I sent to my best friends husband. It looks like it shot a load in the plastic slight melting on the balls also but all said and done it was great
Best Prank ever made us laugh and thats what life is about !!! get those laughs in your life
This Item Was A hit lol
i allways enjoy order these and see the suprise yall went above and beyond to help with an error
Was a great experience and would choose you guys again
Sent this to lesbian sibling as a prank!!!
We sent it to our friend as a "just because" gift. He didn't know what it was and got excited about the nice black box. He opened it up in the post office in a crowd of people.
He later sent a video of trying his gift and said the chocolate is good quality...
We all love it
Funniesr prank ever
Sent it to a friend who moved out of town let's just say they are still confused and laughing at the anonymous weener they received. Great gag gift for a friend will definitely be buying again.
Wish I could have seen his face!
Love pranking people. I will be ordering this again.
I sent this to a friend, but his wife saw the package and asked, “what did you order this time!?” He said he didn’t remember and told her to open it for him, hilarity ensued, worth every single penny!
My friend loved the surprise! The first one did not get shipped properly. The team was quick to fix the problem and quickly sent out another! Definitely a fun and unique gift!
So happy with this product! Hilarious!
It was awesome!
Very funny prank!
My mothers favourite she 100% loves it thank you
Sent it to my dad lol he thought it was pretty funny
AWESOME gag gift!!!!! My friend still has no idea who sent it, I will definitely purchase more from your site! Thank you!
She took it Sharon Renee
This was the best Gag gift to get back at the prankster of the group!!!! His wife couldn't stop laughing. She said "This was AWESOME!" LOL .....GOTTCHA CORY!
Don't have photo
Can’t share. Pretty sure he’s an ex cop
I got it for a friend dijo que estaba chiquito la cosa lol she loved it she ate it that’s all it matters thanks dicks by mail for making my besties day
The following is a real-life account of how a milk chocolate penis nearly imploded a company:
We recently had a team member depart from our company, we'll call him "Marty", to pursue another venture with his brother. Terrible idea, but that's beside the point. Anyhow, he was an integral part of the daily stupidity and camaraderie that we'd all come to enjoy from him over the past few years. Everyone in the office loved to give him the finger, and he would gingerly display it right back. He couldn't hear out of his right ear, so he would constantly say "HUH!?", and instead of repeating what was said, we would all mock him with a loud "HUH?!" and that would be the end of the conversation. It was such a beautiful, loving relationship that we knew could never be recreated.
Now, dear reader, that you have an idea of his origin story, enter the "chocolate penis incident". It was a Monday, around noon, much like any other Monday - but soon that would all change. I had just spoken to an associate concerning the parting gift (a milk chocolate penis) we had sent to "Marty" last week, and how the tracking said it was delivered yet we had heard nothing. We were very disappointed, joked that his mother had yet to bring down his mail to his basement dwelling and moved on.
Pause: It is important to know that we have a company-wide instant messaging tool that we all use to communicate in real-time with one another. When "Marty" left it was decided by management that he could remain in the instant messenger because of his tenure and how much we all enjoyed him - this was about to backfire tremendously.
As we've just crested the noon hour on this average Monday, we get a notification in the "announcements" channel - which notifies every member of the organization.
Marty: What the fuck is this?
*inserts photo of a box addressed to him
Now, if you've yet to do your research, this product is anonymous, so he is simply assuming it's from someone here at his former place of employment - spoiler: it is indeed the milk chocolate penis.
A second notification rings, and yes, it's exactly what you're thinking my dear reader. "Marty" has just posted a photo of the milk chocolate penis into the company-wide announcement channel with the caption. "real nice guys".
A panic ensues, my associate and I quickly grab the attention of our head IT professional and tell him to remove that phallic cocoa monstrosity from the announcement channel immediately before HR comes unhinged.
But it was too late, and later that day we received a sternly worded memo about workplace conduct, and our dearest "Marty" was permanently removed and banned from the company instant messenger. It was the best day we've all had here in a long time. the moral of the story here, dearest reader, is to purchase one, if not many, many chocolate penises and pepper every living soul with them, and maybe...just MAYBE you can nearly implode a medium-sized business yourself. Long live "Marty".
So my dead dead beat father in law (Gary Wilson) has been a trash father to my wife for years. She finally had enough and said say what you want to!! Couldn’t have put the chocolate dick in to words any better!! Wonderful purchase!!
Amazing service & seller was very communicative. Everyone found it absolutely hilarious and we plan to surprise a few more of our friends soon!
Perfect service good chocolate and funniest memories! Def worth it
Got it for my former colleague - huge hit!
Used it for a Bachelorette Party. Hilarious for our “cake topper.” Was a little disappointed in size. Kinda expecting giant dildo size for a $30 chocolate penis but it did it’s job and was a party hit.
Per the recipient:
"Tasty! It was the chocolate mouthful that kept giving right down to the balls!"
Awesome customer service . Will definitely be using again
Awesome! I was able to share it with all my friends !
Got for a friend as a prank ..they loved it ..laughed a lot
Delivered and enjoyed!
I was expecting chocolate but the gummy was cool too, my sister enjoyed it
I set one to my grandma for her birthday is a gag. She's showing it off to all of her friends at the assisted living community. So cool that it's anonymous. Such great stories to be had!
Nice box decent size perfect gag gift lol if you know what I mean
Best valentine's gift ever. It is solid inside. They never knew who sent it. I will be using this product again.
My friend loved the surprise for her birthday!
love it. just want sturdier packaging for shipping
It was GOOD I Plan on sending a bag of buttholes
I sent this to my cousin for her birthday she loved it sorry picture is blurry a bit
My son finally turned 18 so I sent it to my ex wife. I have her blocked on everything so I didn't get a reaction but I am very satisfied getting the update knowing that it was delivered.
Sent to my boss got stolen from the mail company sent another for free great customer service and pissed my boss off
It came and was a hit! The only thing awkward was that it smeared in the box a bit, so it looked like poo smear. Hahahaha
I really Think you should include a piece of wax paper in between the chocolate and the box lid. I sent this to myself so I can add something to it before I forwarded it to a friend and when I opened it there was already chocolate all over the box top where it says “eat a dick” for the price I paid I think you can afford a piece of wax paper.
Amazing customer service !
I gave it to my mom and she just gave me the death stare. It was hilarious
This is by far the best dick I’ve ever had. I would love to spread the dick
My husband loved it when he pulled out the suck a dick from his stocking
We got this for our boss for Xmas! It was the best gift by far! Only complaint is that it is kind of small, was hoping it was going to be a big ol chocolate dick! But a lil chocolate dick was still hilarious!
It was great will buy it again soon
The best gift I've ever given anyone! Coworker loved it!
I had sent a previous chocolate Dick but it had melted in transit. They were so helpful and reached out to me so they could send a replacement out. Second one was perfect. Great customer service.
Gave it to my asshole neighbor. Not sure if they liked it.
Great gag gift. Chocolate is actually pretty good.
It was an enormous surprise to see this in the mail. It really fit great in the box so much that it tore the box up a little. Did get a complaint that it may have been too big, but that's what she said. Friend said it tasted great with just some cream on the tip. Overall, would recommend this for anyone interested in have a giant piece of chocolate in their mouth.
Fill recipient’s heart with glee!
I don't even know how to review something like this. I guess all I can say is I am the queen of petty. I went all out for my sisters birthday and spent alot of money an she appreciated none of it. So when it came time for a gift I wanted to send a clear message and this product helped me do that with 100% accuracy. Don't make me mad when it a gift giving event. There was some confusion with me typing in my address wrong and they were completely understanding and resent the order right away. Definitely would order again.
It was a funny moment in time that we will not soon forget
My friend Emmanuel really liked randomly receiving a dick in the mail. I guess the package was warm or something, as the dick was moist, and a bit of chocolate got on the inside of the package.
10/10 would send a friend a black dick again for them to eat.
Smaller than expected but had the same affect
It’s great just a little expensive
The person that received it was elated to receive it
Tried to prank my dad but he instantly knew it was me. However, he has absolutely loved it. He has spent all day talking about it and laughing over it nonstop. He also said it would have been funny if it were filled with peanut butter.
And now everyone keeps asking where I got it!
Made for a hilarious prank.
Not sure how the gift was received, but I love that this service is available. I sent the veiny falic penis to my estranged father who decided after 30 years was a good idea to reach out and attempt to reconnect.
This was the perfect gift for the best friend/coworker a girl could ask for. She will buy any inanimate object that is a dick. She loved it and thought it was hilarious.
On another note, I have to talk about the seller. My first order came in melted! Pressed for time I purchased another in hopes of getting it in on time. I emailed the seller of dick's by mail about my situation and that the shipping would allow me to pay more to get it by Saturday. Not only did they reimburse me they MADE SURE it was delivered on time!! Which was unbelievable they responded so quickly to my email and made sure I had this gift. The least to say I am a pleased customer not only because of the product but the customer service! Thank you dick's by mail I will be a customer for life and be recommending you to everyone!!
Exactly what I expected…five stars
Better than advertised it’s best money I’ve ever spent
Super fast shipping
What an amazing product I can’t say enough good things about this company
My friend got it by the mail after a week or so and im in canada so pretty fast shipping.
his mom opened it so it made the experience 1000 times funnier.
only thing tho you guys should put the name on the package instead of inside :)
She ate the whole thing
Nothing says, "I'm tired of you guilting me into not visiting even though roads go both ways" like a big chocolate dick inside a flowery box.
Lol I gave it to my dad for Father's day, so he could eat what he is. ♀️
tasted like chocolate
Best 60th birthday present that I could give.
Thought it was gonna be a little bigger but was great to sent to a buddy