$8.99 USD
Some cards say “Happy Birthday.” Some say “Congratulations.” This one says EAT A DICK in glorious 3D pop-up form because sometimes that’s the only sentiment that really captures how you feel.
We’re talking about a high-quality folded greeting card that opens to reveal a proud pop-up penis with the boldest message imaginable. It’s not subtle. It’s not sweet. It’s a full-on comedic middle finger wrapped in cardstock.
Order now, ship it anonymously, and let someone’s day explode into laughter, shock, and possibly a spit-take.
Think about the last time you got a greeting card. Probably had flowers, some boring cursive, and an impersonal “Best Wishes.” Snooze.
Now imagine handing or mailing someone a card that opens to a massive unapologetic 3D dick. It’s pure chaos and it works every single time. Whether it’s revenge, a prank, or just a spontaneous “because I can,” this card is a guaranteed conversation piece. They won’t throw it away. They’ll show it to everyone.
This thing is made from sturdy double-sided 14 pt cardstock so it’s got that premium feel… if premium meant high-quality insult delivery system.
You send the card. They open it expecting something sweet. Instead, boom — there it is, the mighty pop-up meat missile with “EAT A DICK” screaming in their face.
They freeze for a second. Then it happens. The laugh. The “WTF?!” The immediate photo taken and texted to friends. And if you send it anonymously, the mystery adds fuel to the fire.
Real reviews from real legends:
“My husband laughed so hard, great surprise gift hahaha.”
“The person I sent this to still has no idea who sent it. And I absolutely love that!”
“This was payback for putting a rival team's stuff all over my truck. The recipient wasn't sure it was me but said ‘that made my day! Seriously, it made my day.’ It was fun and worth the money.”
Birthday jokes that hit harder than confetti
Anonymous revenge without the police report
Breakup laughs that say “I’m fine, thanks for asking”
Sports rival payback after a trash talk war
Random Tuesday chaos injection
A 4.25 x 5.5 inch folded greeting card made from quality 14 pt double-sided cardstock
A 3D pop-up penis with the words “EAT A DICK” inside
100 percent anonymous shipping for maximum prank potential
A story they will never stop telling
Add to cart
Ship it straight to their doorstep with no trace back to you
Sit back, relax, and wait for the confusion, laughter, and text messages to start rolling in
The Eat a Dick - Original Greeting Card is not polite. It’s not safe. It’s not something you give your sweet old aunt unless she’s cool. But it is the funniest most shockingly perfect way to say “screw you” while still making someone’s day.
Stop overthinking. Skip the flowers. Skip the generic “Happy Birthday.” Send them the one card they’ll never forget.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
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