The Chocolate Christmas Dick

The Chocolate Christmas Dick

Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a mouth full of solid chocolate dick.

Tired of giving boring gifts like socks, candles, or that dumb bath set nobody uses? Time to level up your holiday game with something they’ll actually remember –The Chocolate Christmas Dick.

This is not some flimsy little novelty candy. We’re talking about a hefty, 5 to 5.5 inch, 4 to 6 ozsolid chocolate penis, made with organic ingredients and delivered in a discreet box. Oh, and it has a holiday tagline that reads “Hoe hoe hoe, for the hoe in your life.”

Yes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, it’s edible. And yes, it will be the star of your Christmas morning, your white elephant exchange, or that family gift swap you always dread.

So if you want to be the MVP of gift giving this year, scroll down and hitAdd to Cart. Your friends, your enemies, and maybe even grandma will thank you… eventually.

Why You Need a Christmas Dick in Your Life

• It’s the funniest stocking stuffer ever – No one forgets opening a box to find a giant chocolate cock staring back at them.
  

• It’s actually tasty – Made with organic ingredients, so your prank can also be delicious.
  

• It’s a conversation starter – And by conversation, we mean uncontrollable laughter followed by inappropriate photos.
  

• It ships anonymously – They’ll have no clue who sent it unless you want to own your masterpiece.
  

The Scene You’re About to Create

It’s Christmas morning. The room smells like cinnamon and coffee. Someone picks up a small box from their stocking, opens it, and freezes. The entire room goes silent before erupting in pure chaos.

Because inside that box is not a watch. Not a gift card. Not a heartfelt token of love. Nope. It’s abig Christmas dick made entirely of chocolate.

There’s blushing. There’s laughter. Someone shouts “What the hell is wrong with you?” and you just smile because you know exactly what’s wrong, and it’s perfect.

Real Reviews from People Who’ve Gone Full Naughty List

“Used this for a white elephant gift exchange and it by far got the best reaction! Everyone died laughing! It was perfect!”
“I sent a Christmas dick to my ex!! He loves chocolate and it just tickles me to think of him eat a chocolate dick. He messaged me and said he wasn’t eating it. I told him to just hold it in his mouth… it would melt 🤣🤣🤣 I love it!!!! I love his reaction!!!”
 “When I told her I sent it she told me it was the greatest thing she’s ever received.”

The Delicious Details

• Size: 5 to 5.5 inches tall, 4 to 6 oz of solid chocolate
  

• Flavor: Rich, organic chocolate goodness
  

• Packaging: Discreet box with holiday “Hoe hoe hoe” theme
  

• Delivery: 100% anonymous shipping
  

• Order Options: One dick, two dicks, three dicks, four dicks, six dicks for the family, ten dicks for when you’re pranking everyone
  

• Perfect For: Christmas gag gift, anonymous prank, stocking stuffer, revenge gift, holiday party joke, white elephant surprise
  

Why This Gift Works Every Time

Because everyone loves chocolate, but no one expects it to be shaped like a penis. It’s edible, it’s hilarious, and it’s the one thing they’ll be talking about long after the tree comes down.

Even if they pretend to be offended, they’ll probably still take a bite. And when they do, they’ll realize it’s actually good chocolate, which makes your prank even sweeter.

Be the Legend of This Year’s Christmas

Right now, you have the chance to turn a boring holiday gathering into an unforgettable moment of shock, laughter, and maybe a little drooling.

Click Add to Cart.

Send The Chocolate Christmas Dick.

Make this Christmas one for the naughty list.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. 

**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**

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