$7.99 USD
If you're tired of fake smiles, dry turkey, and cards that say crap like “Season’s Greetings,” it’s time to blow up the entire Hallmark aisle. The Merry Christmas Scratch Off - Eat a Bag of Dicks! card is the sleazy little piece of holiday magic nobody asked for - but everybody needs.
Disguised as an innocent festive greeting, this card dares your victim to scratch the shiny little mystery circle. And BAM - underneath? A holiday wish so raw, so raunchy, it makes fruitcake look classy: Eat a Bag of Dicks.
This isn't just a christmas scratch off card - this is the gift of shock, laughter, and mild trauma wrapped up in tinsel and petty revenge. It's the funny scratch off card that will get remembered long after their tree dies.
Because you’re a grown ass adult and you’re done pretending you enjoy ugly sweaters and charcuterie boards made by people who say “yummy” unironically. You want to send a naughty christmas scratcher that says what your inner goblin is screaming: “Suck it, Bob. Happy Holidays.”
Perfect for passive-aggressive coworkers, toxic exes, or that one friend who gave you a “Live, Laugh, Love” candle last year. This holiday gag card is your chance to strike back with festive fury - anonymously, of course.
Picture this: a rowdy office Secret Santa exchange. Everyone’s getting Starbucks cards and fuzzy socks. Boring.
Then someone pulls out this. They scratch it. Silence. Then... howls of laughter. Karen from Accounting drops her cider. Dave chokes on a sausage ball. HR pretends not to notice. Mission f***ing accomplished.
And because this inappropriate holiday card ships 100% anonymously, no one even knew who the holiday hooligan was. But they felt it.
Spoiler: it’s not just a card. It’s a declaration of festive f***ery.
Holiday Camouflage, Savage Surprise
Looks like a sweet xmas card with surprise - but this ain’t peppermint and snowflakes. It’s pure verbal venom under that scratchy little circle.
Satisfyingly Petty, Gleefully Rude
“Eat a Bag of Dicks.” Enough said. It’s bold. It’s hilarious. And it’s the kind of thing that gets talked about for years. Possibly in therapy.
Ships 100% Anonymously
Because plausible deniability is the real gift.
Stocking Stuffer Legend Status
Slide it into a stocking. Hide it in a gift pile. Tape it to the fridge. It’s the funny scratcher card that turns you into the Grinch’s unhinged cousin.
If you’ve made it this far, you’re clearly the kind of twisted genius who gets it. So quit pretending you're gonna send a nice card and do the right thing: send a scratch off card that tells them to eat a bag of dicks.
Click "Add to Cart"and ruin someone’s silent night in the best way possible. You’ll laugh. They’ll cry. Santa will high-five you.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address i
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
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