The Christmas Bundle

The Christmas Bundle: The Most Inappropriate Gift Santa Forgot to Mention

Warning: This Christmas gift will cause uncontrollable laughter, mild emotional damage, and possibly glitter in places no vacuum can reach.

This is not your grandma’s Christmas present… unless your grandma’s into red and green gummy dicks, chocolate penises, and explosive glitter chaos.

If you want your holiday gift to be the one everyone remembers (and talks about until next year),add this to your cart right now. Because this is the funniest, most ridiculous Christmas prank you can send without landing on an FBI watchlist.

What’s Inside? Oh… Just Pure Christmas Chaos

Here’s what’s wrapped up in this holiday dumpster fire of joy:

• Christmas Bag of Dicks – A Christmas-themed bag that literally says “Merry Christmas – Eat A Bag Of Dicks” with 10 gummies inside (5 red cherry, 5 green apple). Sweet. Juicy. Ridiculously offensive.
  

• The Chocolate Christmas Dick – A Santa-themed box with a chocolate penis surprise inside. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like biting into a solid chocolate Christmas dick.
  

• The Weather Outside – Glitter Bomb Card – Looks like a wholesome Christmas card. Open it, and BOOM – snow glitter everywhere. It’s the kind of Christmas glitter bomb that will haunt carpets until the next presidential election.
  

• Spring Loaded Christmas Glitter Cannon – Pull the pin, twist, and unleash a blizzard of glitter. White. Everywhere. Like the North Pole exploded in their living room.
  
  

Why the Hell Would You Send This?

Because you’re not boring. Because socks are lame. Because “Merry Christmas” is better when followed by “– eat a bag of dicks.”

This bundle is perfect for:

• White elephant gift exchanges that desperately need spicing up
  

• Friends who laugh at wildly inappropriate things
  

• That cousin who still hasn’t paid you back for concert tickets
  

• People who thought they were safe from your pranks this year
  

Christmas pranks are a dying art. Let’s bring them back, one Christmas chocolate dick at a time.

Imagine This Scene

It’s Christmas morning. Your target unwraps a festive-looking bag. “Oh, how sweet,” they think. Then they read the words “Eat A Bag Of Dicks” in big, cheery Christmas font. Confusion. Laughter. Slight horror.

They move on to the next gift – a cute Santa-themed box. They open it. It’s a penis. Made of chocolate. They can’t unsee it.

Just as they’re processing that trauma, they open what they think is a charming little “Let It Snow” card. WHAM – snow glitter all over the couch, the dog, and their coffee.

And just when they think it’s over…
 You hand them the glitter cannon.

This is Not a Gift – It’s a Full Holiday Experience

The Christmas Bundle isn’t just a pile of gag gifts. It’s an entire Christmas prank journey. You’re giving the gift of storytelling fuel for years. The memory of finding glitter in their laundry in April. The look of horror when they took that first bite of Christmas chocolate dick.

It’s joy. It’s chaos. It’s Christmas magic in the worst, most inappropriate way possible.

Don’t Be That Person Who Gives Boring Gifts

If you send candles, socks, or wine, you’ll be forgotten faster than last year’s fruitcake. If you send this… you’ll be a holiday legend.

Order now before we sell out and you’re forced to buy something lame like a gift card.

Here’s What You Get in The Christmas Bundle:

• 🎄 Christmas Bag of Dicks – red and green gummy dicks in a festive bag
  

• 🍫 The Chocolate Christmas Dick – a Santa box hiding a solid chocolate penis
  

• ❄ The Weather Outside – Let It Snow Glitter Bomb Card
  

• 🎉 Spring Loaded Christmas Glitter Cannon
  

Final Step: ClickAdd To Cart and give someone the Christmas they’ll never recover from.

You’ll laugh. They’ll cry. Santa will disown you.

Merry Christmas.