$24.49 USD $26.99 USD You save: 9% ( $2.50 USD )
Some gifts say “I care.”
This one says “I care… but also, eat a dick.”
Meet the Dark Chocolate Cock – a solid, 4 to 5.5-inch slab of gluten-free Peruvian cacao shaped exactly like a penis. Yes, it’s edible. Yes, it’s delicious. And yes, it’s going to make whoever gets it laugh, blush, and maybe question their life choices.
You can send flowers, sure. Or… you can send a big, beautiful, edible dick in a discreet box. Click Add to Cart now and make their day unforgettable – whether it’s out of love, revenge, or just because you’re a chaotic good kind of person.
Life’s too short for boring presents. You’ve got two choices: buy them another scented candle they’ll never use, or send them a dark chocolate penis they’ll never forget.
This isn’t some cheap gag candy that tastes like wax. This is rich, smooth, premium Peruvian dark chocolate – but molded into the shape of a cock. It’s the perfect mix of classy and trashy. They’ll get the joke… but they’ll also actually enjoy eating it.
Whether you’re saying “Happy Birthday,” “Congrats on the divorce,” or “Thanks for being a dick – here’s one for you,” this chocolate masterpiece gets the message across loud and clear.
Picture this: your friend opens the discreet little box, expecting… who knows what. Jewelry? A heartfelt note? Then they pull back the wrapping and boom – staring them in the face is a solid chocolate schlong.
One customer said it best:
“Imagine your billion dollar company cans you two months before your five-year anniversary with zero notice. A few months later, you think… wait, I can send the president of the company a chocolate surprise. Made me laugh and feel better. And yes, I hope he sees this too – ahahahahahhaahahah!!!!! It worked.”
Another fan favorite:
“Even with a Google Pay glitch, customer service made sure it got to the right destination. I’ve used this company twice and I’ve never been disappointed.”
And my personal favorite:
“Great experience. Easy purchase. Delivered as promised.”
Translation: Yes, they got their dick.
4 to 5.5 inches of solid dark chocolate penis
3 to 4 ounces of premium Peruvian cacao – gluten-free, so even the health nuts can suck on it guilt-free.
Discreet packaging – no one will know what’s inside until it’s too late.
Hilarious and edible – a perfect combo.
Birthday gag gifts
Anonymous pranks
Breakup revenge
Bachelorette parties
“Just because” surprises
That friend who says they’ve seen everything
Order it anonymously for peak chaos.
Add your own note – sweet, sarcastic, or straight-up savage.
Sit back and wait for the text that says, “WTF did you just send me?”
Sure, you could send an edible arrangement. But will they tell that story at every party for the next year? Nope. This, though… this is legend material.
The Dark Chocolate Cock isn’t just a treat – it’s a statement. It’s the edible equivalent of a mic drop. A sweet, cocoa-rich middle finger wrapped in humor.
🎯 Click Add to Cart now and send someone the most delicious, most inappropriate gift they’ll ever unwrap. Whether they laugh, blush, or choke on it (hey, it’s possible), one thing’s for sure – they’ll never forget you.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
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