$24.99 USD $26.99 USD You save: 7% ( $2.00 USD )
Valentine’s Day is full of roses, teddy bears, and “I love you” cards. Boring. Predictable. Lame. If you want to truly surprise someone, skip the clichés and give them the one gift they’ll never forget - a solid chocolate penis tucked inside a Valentine’s Day “Nuts About You” gift box.
Yep. You read that right. A premium gluten free Peruvian cacao cock, lovingly molded for maximum comedic effect, sitting pretty in a pink pixel-heart-themed box. Whether it’s for your partner, your gal pal, your ex, or just someone who deserves a mouthful of rich chocolate justice, this is the ultimate gag gift with actual gourmet quality.
Order now, ship it 100 percent anonymously, and watch the confusion turn into laughter (and possibly a suspiciously long pause before that first bite).
Most Valentine’s gifts are instantly forgettable. This? Not a chance. No one is tossing this in a drawer. No one is leaving it on the table without a double take. This is the kind of present that sparks stories - the “remember when” tales that live on in friend groups for years.
It’s not just a joke. This chocolate dick is made from legit, gluten free Peruvian cacao, so even if they’re shocked, they’re also getting a seriously good piece of candy. You’re not just sending laughs. You’re sending laughs that melt in your mouth.
Picture this: they see the Valentine’s Day box. They think, “Aww, how sweet.” They open it. Boom. There it is. A proud, 4 to 5.5 inch, 3 to 4 ounce chocolate penis staring them down.
The reaction is always the same - stunned silence, immediate laughter, and then a wave of naughty jokes that last the whole night. Some people eat it right away. Some keep it as a trophy. Some post it online and let the internet do its thing.
“I never buy a Valentine’s present for my lover but when I scrolled past this on IG, it was a MUST BUY. He came home grumpy so I gave it to him early. He was embarrassed, wouldn’t let me take photos, but I didn’t stop making every naughty joke possible and still do!”
“This was the perfect Valentine gift for my friend!! She laughed so much when she opened it. Best part - the chocolate is really good!!!”
“Arrived SO quickly and looked exactly like the photos. My best friend still talks about it.”
Valentine’s Day gifts that actually get remembered
Galentine’s pranks between besties
Breakup revenge with a sweet aftertaste
Anonymous edible pranks
Adult novelty gifts that don’t suck (but might get sucked on)
A Valentine’s Day pixel-heart-themed pink gift box
A solid chocolate penis, 4 to 5.5 inches, 3 to 4 ounces
Made from gluten free Peruvian cacao for rich, smooth flavor
Ships 100 percent anonymously for maximum mystery
Add it to your cart
Choose where it’s going (direct to them or to you for hand delivery)
Sit back and prepare yourself for the texts, calls, or Instagram stories that follow
The Eat a Dick - Chocolate Dick in Nuts About You gift is more than just candy. It’s comedy, shock value, and a gourmet treat all rolled into one box. It’s the Valentine’s Day present for people who hate boring presents. It’s the ultimate edible “gotcha” for friends, lovers, or exes.
Forget the flowers. Forget the jewelry. If you want something unforgettable, sweet, and just a little scandalous, this is it.
Send the dick. Make the memory. Laugh forever.
IMPORTANT: Make sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.
**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**
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